 March 8th, 2001 Standing out back of the Oceanside Ice Arena, Mayhem waits by a big yellow school bus marked with the number 13. For this party occasion Mayhem has decided to dress up more then usual, instead of blue jeans he wears black, instead of a blue T-shirt he wears a blue silk shirt and instead of his black steel toed boots Mayhem wears his alligator skin steel toed boots. Looking at his watch he notes the time nearing departure. Looking up he notices the back door open as JD Brady emerges. Brady: What up Mayhem? [Shakes hand.] So what is this place called we are goin to? Mayhem: hehehe...It's a "little" club. Trust me you'll enjoy it I'm glad ya came. Brady: Well if this is what I'm thinkin' it is...I got 200, 1 dollar bills so I'm ready for some excitement! Brady stepping onto the bus Mayhem: Hell man, I've got 500, I'm ready for some serious partying. Mayhem turning back to the door watches it again open as David Zakin walks out. Mayhem smiles as he watches Zakin approach. Mayhem: Hell man, of all people I'm surprised you came Zakin: Hey, wassup apeboy? Zakin shaking Mayhem’s hand gives him a wink, Mayhem giving him a strange look at the action. Smiling, Mayhem pats Zakin a couple times on the shoulder. Mayhem: Well, you weren't able to beat me, I look forward to seeing out try to out drink me, hehehehe. Zakin: Yeah, well, weirder things have happened.... With a funny smirk to his face Zakin steps on the bus, seeing Brady he greets him. Brady laughing sticks a dollar down Zakin's shirt, in return Zakin slaps Brady, cracking up they both sit back down. Mayhem looking on the bus shakes his head as he giggles at the scene. ”Rockwilda" by Method Man and Redman is heard as a black BMW Z3 Roadster pulls up alongside the bus. The car stops and the door opens, thick white smoke flowing out like a river of sweet. Out of the smoke steps "The Canadian Killah" Chris Thrilla with his tag belt slung over his shoulder and something he's been smoking in his mouth. Walking up to Mayhem he looks close to his face as if he can barely see him. Thrilla Yo, you're that guy who Collins wants to screw...I think it might be the S&M mask. Be careful around that guy eh? Leaning in and he whispers in Mayhem's ear Thrilla: I heard Collins is gay Mayhem [Mayhem cracking up]: I heard that too, I've got a question though? Aren't you a little young for this? Not that I care though. Thrilla: Crazy Dude, technically I'm too young to be working for the HWF...damn child laborers...But hey, if I'm good at it, I'll do it. You got any food? I got the munchies... Mayhem: Yeah I got food in the bus, but don't tank up, you need lots of room for beer. Mayhem patting Thrilla on the back as he gets on turns back and laughs. Mayhem: Doing my part for the education of youth...HEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA!!! As Thrilla takes a seat next to Zakin and Brady, Mayhem climbs in and into the driver's seat, looking back he smiles wickedly as he closes the doors. Starting the engine he takes a deep breath of the diesel fumes, then putting the bus in gear he jams his foot on the peddle. Mayhem: Hold onto your asses, next stop Heaven. Brady: [Whispers to Zakin] Mayhem is driving, oh hell. Mayhem: RELAX!!!!!!!! Brady [Again whispering to Zakin]: And he can hear us when we whisper, oh hell. Zakin [Loud Whisper to Brady]: I know... Brady: So when we gonna start tagging up and take the tag belts off Spike and Chris? Smiling he looks back at Thrilla who is playing games with his hands. Zakin: Well, as soon as I stop losing. Mayhem cracking up as he hears Zakin’s reason, smiling Mayhem can’t feel somehow to looks up, and just laughs at the two. Thrilla: Keep dreaming. Going back to playing with his hands Thrilla laughs to himself. Brady: Hey, I'm the six day Hardcore Champion, DON'T SCREW WITH ME! Mayhem: Ouch, don't tell me it's getting ugly back there, save your strength you're gonna need it!!! Thrilla can only be heard laughing in the background. Turning into a large parking lot the guys look out the windows to see a rather large one story building painted black with red silhouettes on the walls with blue neon lights surrounding them. Mayhem looking out the window screams for joy, then pulling the bus up to the curb he opens the door and steps out. The other wrestlers following him Mayhem: Gentlemen...rather Ungentlemen, welcome to the most popular underground men's club in the U.S. Let's party... Zakin is seen making faces at Thrilla as he continues to play with his hand. Brady proudly stands up and walks to the front of the bus. JD walks down the few stairs and pulls his pants down to his ankles, showing his boxers. Brady then takes about $50 worth of 1 dollar bills in each hand. Brady: LET'S PARTY! As the men step out of the bus they approach the entrance to the Ungentlemen's Club. The neon lights of the entrance form not only the name but the sultry silhouette of a women. Opening the door they walk into the "entrance hall" a beautiful women wearing only a short white bath robe stands ready to take their coats. Smiling they take off three coats and hand them to her. Mayhem then walks up to another women wearing a skin tight leather body suit who stands at the entrance to "The Party Center"; smiling she greets him. Women: Are you Mayhem? Mayhem smiling nods yes. Zakin: Kinda hard to miss with that mug. Mayhem shoots Zakin a look as he turns back to the woman. Woman: Hold on please, I'll get Marvin. Smiling wider as he sees the girls ass Mayhem steps back to wait. Zakin pulls out his wallet from back pocket. He opens it and unfortunately for him, he has about 20 100 dollar bills, slapping himself in the head. Zakin: Fuck! I forgot the singles! Ah, man, I'm screwed...anyone got any money they could give me? Thrilla (ignoring Zakin): Marvin... Marvin the fuckin Martian. Haha! Mayhem Don't let the name fool you, he can kick you ass buddy hehehe. Besides he's my cousin. And Zakin, they've got an ATM here hehehe A large man walking into the entrance hall calls to Mayhem. Mayhem turning smiles and walking up hugs his cousin. Mayhem: Guys, meet my cousin Marvin Zane, owner of the Ungentlemen's Club. Marvin stepping forward greets them. Marvin: Guys, Mayhem has said you guys are his "friends" and well, any friend of his is a friends of mine and thus a friend of the ladies here. For you guys tonight you have a free pass to the bar and a free pass to the ladies. Table dances, lap dances...anything, although you guys make lots of money, be nice and donate some. Mayhem: Well some of the guys here are my friends so I don't think you have to worry. Marvin: Is that okay guys? Zakin [his face turning a little red] Well, uh, could you like show me where the ATM is...? 'Cause I like...only brought hundreds... Thrilla: How about Canadian dough? You take that? Marvin: Money's money, and I'll show you the ATM. Oh, but I should tell you, you should know the power of Hundreds here. Mayhem cracking up at his cousin’s respond nods a big “yes”. Marvin turning leads them to the main double doors, knocking three times they swing open as two topless women smile greeting them. Mayhem smiles wide enters the main hall. The guys following through the doors almost immediately drop their jaws as they see the army of 25 women standing in a row to greet them, some in skimy outfits and some totaly nude. Over the main dance floor is a sign "Welcome to Heaven, Ungentlemen of the HWF" Marvin stepping in front almost gets a kick out of the look on their faces. Marvin: Guys, enjoy yourselves, and don't go over the edge, we don't have many, but we do have some rules. For now the bar is over there (pointing to the 20 foot long bar with 4 lovely ladies waiting behind it)...and your table it right over there (pointing to a table attached to the main stage). Ungentlemen, you've all worked hard tonight, might as well enjoy the spoils. Zakin: But everything is free, right? Zakin smiling as he gives Marvin a little wink. At the table, a man with blonde hair turns around quickly. He has a stupid look on his face and waves at the guys. It's Commissioner Collins. Shawn: Hey, fuckers! Comere! Mayhem: What the fuck? COLLINS??? Zakin: Dude...the fuuuuuuuuuck you doing here? Zakin laughs a little at the sight of a drunk Collins, as do most of the others as they sit down at their private table. Shawn: Where you going?! Collins standing up tries to walks to the table but he stumbles too much, Mayhem holding back an ocean of laughter walks over and grabs his arms helping him to the HWF table. Shawn looks at Thrilla, and laughs. His eyes look cross-eyed. Collins: Whas that lil fucker doin ere? Mayhem:We're making him a man, plus I'll bet you 50 on how long he can last through a lap dance hehehehe Brady just now walking threw the double door with a look of confusion on his face. Still with his pants down and money in hand, Brady sees Collins and then he sees a lady, so of course Brady follows the lady. Brady: [Screaming, following lady]: Hey lady, you wanna little suckie? Suckie suckie suckie? Zakin walking over slaps Brady in the back of the head] Shawn: Fuck Maiham... I betcha 50 bucks he cant last throo a coupla beers. Smells like he smoked a cow! Mayhem: Hey man wouldn't it be funner to see if he can last though a lap dance? HEHEHEHE SOMEONE BRING ME JD!!!!!!! A topless waitress walking over brings Mayhem a whole bottle, opening it he takes a big swig. Collins takes a seat next to Thrilla. Collins motions for more beer, the two talk for a bit and start having a chugging competition. After some of this, Thrilla's head just falls forward on the table. Mayhem: Weakling, hehehehe Zakin walks over to Thrilla and taps him on the shoulder. Smiling Mayhem chugs down another half of the bottle The double doors of the club fly open getting the attention of the others as a tall, dark figure walks inside. He is wearing a black leather jacket, jeans, and a white T-shirt, with a pair of shades over his eyes. He removes the shades, revealing the face of Lance Sterling! Sterling [looking towards everyone else]: What the hell is this, a party? Standing up half ignoring Sterling for a minute, Mayhem walks up to the stage, a blond Marilyn Monroe look alike walks up. Mayhem smiling VERY wide pulls out an hundred and slides it in her G string. “Later” he tells her. Mayhem looking over to Sterling. Sterling: Bah! Mayhem: Hell yeah it is, welcome man Shawn: Holy shit... looka tha size of his nose TODAY! Sterling: Fuck you Collins. From the smell of you, you've been having a drink or thirteen, maybe a bit more and you'll keel over. Mayhem: No he's too annoying to pass out hehehe Brady walks over to Lance with his pants still down, and Lance just shakes his head at Brady as Brady jumps up on the table and starts to take his pants off! Shawn: Have a seat ya fucker... how's the wife? Hah hah hah! Sterling: I ain't gonna ask what the FUCK you're doing, Brady. I don't wanna know. And Collins, again, fuck you. I'm the one getting some of that every night. Mayhem: BRADY!!!!!! I WANT TO SEE THEM STRIP!!!{pointing to the women on stage} NOT YOU!!!!! Zakin: DUDE! GET OFF THE TABLE BEFORE I REMOVE YOU MYSELF! Sterling shrugs and takes a seat, tilting the chair back and placing both feet on the table. Mayhem reaching over Sterling grabs his JD then downing the rest of it he walks to sit down, down. Shawn: Hey Shterling... saw whatcha did today... ya fucker! Hah hah hah! Zakin leaning next to Thrilla checks to see if he’s still breathing, looking to Mayhem he nods yes. Zakin pulling a joint out of Thrilla’s pocket hold it up to Mayhem, Mayhem getting an angry look to his face. Sterling: Bitch deserved it. He'll get more of the same; serves him right for thinkin' he owns my belt. Mayhem: No weed guys this is a respectable joint...AAAAAAAAAH HEHEHEHAHAHHAHA Brady walking over grabs the joint and eats it, Zakin is a little upset but Mayhem’s happy the joint is gone. Mayhem: I’m going to have to have a talk with our little Thrilla friend ‘ere. Shawn (continuing with Sterling): Fuchk mahn... I own that belt technic..ly! Hah! Have a drink ya fucker! Sterling: Don't mind if I do, as long as YOU pay for it, Shawn. Shawn: It's FREE man! Fuck... been here for a good... [Shawn looks at his watch.] What's the fuchking time?! Mayhem grabbing a shot of southern comfort passes it to Sterling, glad ya came man. Sterling: Its free?!? Hell fuckin' yeah! Yeah Mayhem, glad to be here. I never miss out on a party. So, what did all of you think of my fuckin up Rykopathe? Sweet shit, huh? Mayhem: I enjoyed it, ya didn't see me but I was sitting right backstage with my Popcorn and Pepsi. Shawn: Shut the fuchk up mahn... Hey Maiham... remember the thime I kicked yer arse? Hah hah hah! Mayhem: DAMN IT YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY ON THERAPY IT TOO ME TO FORGET THAT!!!!!???????? Brady walks over for no reason at all. Brady: You fucked Rykopathe?!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . Brady walking away, grabs a red leather bikini top and tries to put it on. Mayhem turning for a second tries not to laugh as he watches Brady try to fit the bra on him. Mayhem downing another So Co tries again to forget the fact the lush Collins ever beat him. Sterling (looking at Brady): What the FUCK is wrong with that guy? Shawn (Looking blankly at Mayhem.): Fuchk man.. I kicked your ass that badly? Hah hah hah! Shawn nudges Sterling, and laughs. Mayhem (looking back at Brady) Can't handle his Alco, I guess Sterling: He's one fucked up mofo. Zakin: Um...something is wrong with Thrilla, man Sterling: So? Brady screams. Brady: I HAVEN'T HAD ANY ALCOHOL YET! Shawn: What're you talkin bout you fucker? He's fuckin fine! Right Thrilla? Shawn nudges Thrilla and laughs, Thrilla still out doesn’t respond. Mayhem (impersonating Dr. Evil): Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight Zakin: That's right...neither have I... Collins looking a little irritated at Zakin Shawn: So have a beer you fucker! Sterling: So Shawn, when the fuck am I gonna be able to get some revenge on that bitch, Rykopathe? As their conversation continues a hot looking blond women dressed all in a black leather body suit walks onto their table top. Beginning to strip she pulls away at her outfit pulling different pieces of the body suit off. Sterling: Helloooooooooooooo, NURSE! Shawn: Remember when I kicked yer arse in E PHEE W AY! Eh, Zakeen? Would ya look at the size of those melons! Mayhem (looking right up at the woman): Holy shit Zakin: Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Sterling: Those are almost as big as my wife's! Shawn (turning his attention to Sterling but keeping his eyes on the woman): Sterling? Rematch? Phah! Shut the fuck up you fucker... maybe later! Hah hah hah! The stripper pulling off her top Mayhem nearly tears his pocket getting out his wallet Zakin: I thought he was your husband? Brady walking back up to the table stands and nearly drool as he watches the women continue to dance. Reaching in his pocket he looks for some money, instead out of his pocket he pulls a napkin and holds it for the woman. Sterling grins and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a nice, fat wallet Shawn: Hey Maiham... put in a buck fer me... I got no cash... Plus, I can’t find me wallet! Hah! Grabbing his wallet he holds up a hundred, Mayhem's nearly drooling as she bends over and peels off her leather pants Sterling: Hey, now THIS is my kinda nightclub! Zakin: Wow...I didn't know you could drool through that mask.... Mayhem: You have no idea. Mayhem pulling off his mask finally wipes the sweat off his head and the drool of his chin. Pulling out a hundred Mayhem slides it in the woman's garter Brady: I think I'm stoned from eating weed. I can't tell if that is the lady’s booby or Lance's nose. Shawn starts shaking his head. Mayhem: You know what I love about strippers with garters? Collins: This one's mine fellas. Shawn gets up on the table and starts wobbling next to the stripper. Sterling: That's what you think. And Brady, if you don’t watch what you say, you'll be eating all your meals through straws! Mayhem reaching up pulls Collins off the table and looks to him finishing his sentence. Mayhem: THERE'S ALWAYS ONE THING LEFT TO COME OFF!!!!!! Shawn: Calm down... Fucker... They both turn their attention to the hot stripper. Brady, looking confused by Lance's words, goes over and sits by Thrilla, who is still passed out. Brady just starts talking to him about something as we go back to the strippers. The girl smiling bends over and pulls down her G-string, then standing back up she begins to do some even more seductively curvy moves. Mayhem: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!! Brady (missing the show): Thrilla isn't passed out... Sterling: Whooo hooo! Here we go!! Shawn's jaw drops, and his eyes begin to water. Zakin: I am a very happy man. Sterling: I'll handle THIS one, boys. Shawn: Gimme another fuchkin beer! Zakin: Someone wake Thrilla up, he’s missing it!!! Sterling reaches into his wallet and pulls out several hundred dollar bills. Mayhem pulling out another couple hundred. Zakin grinning pulls out several 2 dollar bills. The stripper leaning next to Sterling smiles as he slides the hundreds into her garter, then standing back up she does an undulating move to thank him. Then moving to Mayhem she crouches down letting him slide in the money, smiling at his generosity she blows him a kiss before doing another seductive move as she stands. Stepping over Collins' beer she bends over letting Zakin slide in his two bucks, looking at the amount his given her she simply stands back up and does a couple more quick moves for Mayhem Sterling and Collins, completely ignoring Zakin. Mayhem: Mayhem, the dirty old bastard. Hehehehe Sterling: Must be hard, living life with that mask on ya face. Mayhem: I can take it off. Sterling: You remind me of fuckin' Venom or some shit. I'm waiting to see you climb walls and fly Mayhem cracks up as he takes another shot. Brady grins and pulls out a pencil and throws it at one of the girls, the others giving him a dirty look. Mayhem: Seriously messed up man, seriously. And they call me crazy Shawn: Hey Maiham, where the fucks that fucker... Kindness! I miss that fuchker... Mayhem: I left my chainsaw in my car, sorry, I only have my machete Sterling: Hey, is anyone else surprised that that stupid scumfuck Blackjack didn't quit like a bitch after Davison beat his skanky ass? Zakin: No... Shawn: Pass the mashittee... Shterlings hurtin my ears! Sterling: What was that, bitch? Mayhem reaching behind his back pulls out his blade; Mayhem: You're too drunk to play with knives son, hehehe Zakin: Blackjack isn't the that big of a pansy...or is he? Sterling: He sure as fuck is. Sterling: I kicked his stupid ass, and he quit like a whiny little pussy. Plus, have you ever had to sit through one of his promos? Nothing but a pile of dog shit. Brady gets up and starts to do the conga, by himself. The others give him a strange look but they return to their conversation. Brady: Everybody conga! Everybody conga! Mayhem: You want to sit though sickening Promos??!!! You ever listen to one of Jonboy Storm's songs? Zakin: We all have... Shawn: I'll show you dogshit, fucker... check out Trey's toothpaste drawer. Sterling: Nope. Don't want to either. Just wait till I get my hands on his ass again. Mayhem: ewwwwwwww Zakin: And if there is one thing I can't figure out it's what Pop Perfection is Mayhem: I think it's his name for a wet dream Shawn: I like that fucker's music... fucker sings fine... Sterling: Ain't that some shit to do with TNN? Mayhem: I don't know, I just don't like it Shawn: Fucker don’t know good music if it slapped ya on the arse! Mayhem grabbing another bottle of JD opens it and downs another huge gulp Sterling: Obviously you don't know good music, you stupid putz. Mayhem: I know good music, but not Storms hehehehe Zakin: What's an arse, Collins? Shawn: Hah hah hah! Putz! You talk German? You're an arse... ya fucker... Sterling: Kusotare! I also speak Japanese. Shawn: Baka... fucker... Zakin: Well....well....you're a gay Gavin fucker! Mayhem: I speak fluent drunkenesse Sterling: What the hell is that shit with Gavin? Guy's got class but hell we all know that I'M God Shawn: Fuck man! I'm shpeakin it now! Fuck it! God is I! Mayhem: HARGA FLUCCA BIGNIEE TEEETEEE BBOOOOCCCCHHHH Sterling: What the FUCK did he say? Shawn: He wants a beer! Mayhem: Collins? Shawn: Fuck man... Mayhem: You know what I said don't ya Zakin: Well, you know that Sterling likes to Burkdesh and have Trey stick his pinga in his coolo Sterling flips Zakin the bird, Mayhem cracks up at the display. Shawn: I'll tell you if you tell me first... fucker... hah hah hah! Mayhem: You got it Mayhem leaning over whispers the translation in his ear, Collins immediately cracks up. Shawn: True, hahahaha! Brady comes back over, stopping the conga, and leans on Mayhems shoulder. Brady: ......... Brady walks away, falls over face first on the ground, as some of the ladies pick him and take him out of the room. Mayhem: And he hasn't had a drink yet? What's wrong with this picture, hehehehehe Shawn: Fucker needs a brain... hah hah hah! Sterling: And you need a set of balls, you monkey! Mayhem: I can get him a cow’s brain I have the ritualistic cow mutilations after this Zakin: He's a mankey, Sterling. Shawn: I got my set ready... you need to turn straight... fucker... Fuckers! Remember? Hah hah hah! Lance Shterling... shucks chock! Mayhem grabbing the 3/4th full bottle of JD he downs nearly all of it. Sterling: Say that shit again, mothafucka, and your ass will be sleepin in the fuckin' garbage! Mayhem: Shucks cookie? Shawn: Fuck man... you wont get your rematch! Hah hah hah! Sterling: Grr.... Mayhem: ISH GONNE BE FUIN TO DRIV HOMEY Shawn: FUCK YAH MAN! HAH HAH HAH! Sterling: Don't make me shank your wiseguy ass, bitch. Zakin grabs a bottle a beer from one of the waitresses. Zakin: It's about damn time...haven't had one of these mo fo's yet Shawn: You wanna shank my ass? Fuck man... get the fuck away from me! Mayhem standing up nearly falls over, grabbing the table he keeps himself upright. Then shaking his head back and forth he brings himself to his senses, and in a sense sober. Mayhem: WHOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH, THE BOOZE HOUND IT BACK Sterling: Motherfucker, that’s prison talk for killing you. Shawn: FUCK YOU! HAH HAH HAH! Gimmea bear... fuck... I'm thirstaay.... Mayhem: Guys, peace for now. Look at Woman and relax. Shawn: Fuck yeah... relaxsh.... Mayhem: Yeah right, and avoid alcohol poising hehehe Shawn: Too late... Shawn holds his stomach. Sterling [singing]: Where is your savior now...? Mayhem: Oh shit... Zakin taps Mayhem Collins on the shoulder. Collins looks at him and then Zakin points to a man across the room. Zakin: It was him.... Collins looks at the man and yells "fuck you" Shawn: Fucker taps me on the shoulder... and runs... while I'm sick... Mayhem: I think it would be smart to get him a baggy Sterling: What a bunch of stupid fucks. So hey, which of you bitches is gonna end up doin' the job? Shawn: Fuck man.. I'll swallow the shit... relaxsh... Zakin: Ill...you swallow..... I didn't need to know that Zakin gulps down some beer. Shawn: Hey guysh.. . Sterling takes a long, hard swig of beer Shawn:...if you were a girl... Mayhem: heheheh Collins swallows hehehe Shawn: Wouldn't you so be a shket?! Zakin: The fucks a shket? Shawn: A SKET MAN! A SKET! HAH HAH HAH! Sterling yells for a shot of hard liquor, which he given posthaste Shawn: I'd be the biggesht fucking sket... fucker.... Mayhem calming himself down orders a Pepsi. While Mayhem isn't looking...Zakin pours half of the bottle of beer in Mayhem's Pepsi. Mayhem reaches over grabs his Pepsi and takes a drink, smiling he puts down the can. Mayhem: Now that's a good Pepsi!!! Sterling: So, Collins, when the FUCK are you gonna get off your high horse, and do some shit about scum like Rykopathe, Blackjack, Storm, and the rest? Zakin then chugs the rest and orders a Tequila. Shawn: Know what I'm gonna do? Mayhem: He's to drunk to think I would think Sterling: What'cha gonna do?
Shawn: I'm gonna stick em all in a fuckin room... and I'll let you FUCK THEM! HAH HAH HAH!
Zakin drinks the tequila in one shot. Zakin immediately spits it all over Thrilla who is still passed out.
Mayhem: Zakin, take what you'll drink but drink what you take
Shawn holds his stomach again.
Mayhem: Oooooooh shit man GET THE BAGGY!!!!
Shawn (shaking his head): Fuckin swallow it... don't need no bag... I'm a warrio...
Sterling: You're seriously fucked up, son. Seriously, fire that piece of shit or something, or else I'll have to get his fuckin 12-year old minded, crybaby ass to leave AGAIN. Get my fuckin' drift?
Shawn: GET ME THE BAG!!
Mayhem grabs a bag and throws it at Collins
Zakin: It tasted like shit man
Shawn turns, and bends his head in the corner.
Mayhem: Eeeeeeeeeeew
Shawn brings his head back up, and smiles.
Shawn: Gimmy a bear ya fucker...
Sterling: Ugh
Mayhem: Man knows how to party hehehehe
Shawn: Fuck, you know it mahn...
Shawn reaches into his pocket and takes out a cigar.
Shawn: Now, I relaxsh...
Mayhem: Works, you know how I relax?
Shawn shrugs as he tries to light the cigar.
Sterling: What you better be doing is de-pushing scum fucks who don't deserve shit! I thought you swing that kind of lumber around here?
Shawn: Want one Shterling? How do you relaxsh, Maiham?
Mayhem: Lap Dance hehehe I've got one on order. Hehehehe
Sterling: No thanks.
Shawn: Hah! Fucker! Sterling? Eh... pusshy....
Sterling: Bitch
Mayhem: heheheh Alexa might be pissed with me but we're not dating. Not doing anything unfortunately
Shawn just laughs as he blows smoke in Sterling's face.
Shawn: Fuck man, how far you go with her?
Zakin: She's gonna be pissed anyway man....
Mayhem: I know, she's only my secretary more or less, unfortunately nothing more
Sterling (looking at Collins cigar): Do that shit again, you dumb bitch, and you ain't gonna have a mouth to smoke anything WITH!
Zakin (try his best to impersonate a Fat Bastard voice): Little frisky are way?
Shawn: Calm down... fucker...
Mayhem: Damn she is hot though, you should see her in her red leather pants...HOLY SHIT!!!
Shawn: Fuck man... I seen her.. hot shit...
Mayhem: I'm almost lucky, she ain't interested in me yet though, depressing.
Shawn: Take off the mask... try that... hah hah hah!
Zakin: Just what I was gonna say
Mayhem: You should know I don't always wear the mask...shitfaced geek. Hehehe
Sterling: I'm the luckiest mothafucka alive. My girl's hotter than dragon's breath.
Mayhem: That be hot.
Shawn: Oh yah... fucker...
Sterling: Ya damn right. Her 44DDD puppies are a big plus too
Sterling has a big ass grin on his face
Zakin: Well, I tell you, play-boyyyyeeeeee yer lil drag-on has been a lil player lately
Mayhem: 44DDD???!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! CAN SHE WALK!!!???
Shawn (his eyes grow wide): FUCKER! 44DDD!
Sterling: Like I said, I'm the fuckin' man
Zakin: They're fake
Zakin grins at Sterling.
Shawn: How much ya pay her?
Shawn breaks into laughter.
Mayhem: ooooooooh ouch hehehahahah
Zakin: You sound like a donkey when you laugh, Mayhem....
Mayhem: I always liked to think of my laugh as a more Jack Nickleson Joker laugh hehehehehehe
Sterling: I ain’t gotta pay her nothin, bitch. Just watch what you say or you're gonna end up payin' a nice fat hospital bill
Shawn: And you'll be looking at a phink slip! Hah hah hah!
Zakin: Hardy har har mateys....Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Sterling: I don't work for you, scumfuck!
Shawn: Where the rum?
Zakin: 15 men on a dead mans chest
Mayhem: good idea...BRING ME RUM!!!!!!
Shawn: I own you Sterling... hah hah hah!
Shawn: NOW... fetch me some rum... ha hah hah!
Sterling [gives Zakin the evil eye]: What was that, Davey?
Mayhem: He said he wants to bone your chick
Zakin has a pirate type bottle of rum in his hand and is taking occasional sips. He begins to prance around the bar like a pirate and making noises to people.
Shawn: Whoa! Fucker!
Sterling: That dead man.. would be the monkey over there
Sterling jerks a thumb towards Collins.
Zakin: Argggg....what did you say, big nose?
Mayhem: hehehehehe I think that's the 2 JDs talking
Shawn: Don't jerk that at me... I'm not that kinda guy!
Mayhem: Really?
Shawn nudges Mayhem and laughs. Mayhem cracks up as well.
Sterling: Excuse me? Yeah, I didn’t think you said anythin' to me, boy.
Mayhem: I didn't...Collins what did I say hehehe?
Shawn: I think you said you wanted a laph dance! HAh!
Sterling: Dirtbag...
Shawn: Fucker...
Mayhem: GOOD IDEA!!!!!!
Zakin takes another big drink of rum. He keeps on with the pirate voice]
Zakin: By thunder! Sterling is Mayhem's cabin boy? Har har har...I am drunk like this dumb fuck over here. [pointing at Collins]
Mayhem looking over to Zakin
Shawn: Didn't yer mother tell you it's rude to point?
Mayhem: Will you just pass out
Shawn: Fucker...
Sterling: Yes, you are. Now be a good queer ass bitch and walk the plank
Shawn: Does this look like a boat? Fucker...
Mayhem: I think they have a private pirate room here, not sure, but I think.
Zakin takes a seat on the counter and leans on it.
Zakin: I tell ya...you ain’ts seen nothing like this cap'n I seens once
Mayhem (continuing): I know they have theme rooms.
Zakin: Oh by thunder he was scary.
Shawn: I like the Jungle Fever room... Hah hah hah!
Mayhem: I like that room too.
Zakin: I think his name was Sterling.......ah, yes Sterling...the man was so scary I tell you. He used to take his captives...and oh the horror...ass rape 'em like mankeys. Disgustin's I tell yas.
Mayhem: Sounds like something Storm would do while drunk and on the rag
Zakin: You'd better be scared of me, kid.
Sterling: What?!?!?
Sterling gets to his feet.
Mayhem: Yeah be scared, he was the champion...oh you were one too...until I beat you hehehehe
Shawn: Fucker... calm down... he's drunk...
Zakin: Are you'sa calling me a kid....arghhhh hahahahaha
Sterling: You goddamn, no good, cocksucking, motherfucking whore-loving skank ass son of a bitch RATFUCK!
Zakin: I ain'ts to be the one to sees the likes of you, matey
Sterling: He's gonna be more than drunk once I get finished wit him
Mayhem: Now that's dirty hehehehe
Shawn: Let's not get into insults you horde of llama licking goat rapists...
Zakin: I say we makes ya walks the plank right now. Take this fuck for example [pointing at Thrilla] He was me mate about the S.S. Sterling sucks
Sterling: Ah fuck the lot of Sterling The FUCK?
Zakin:...and we's seen that cap'n Sterling
Sterling: The FUCK??
Zakin: Ass rapping mankeys everywhere
Mayhem: This is getting ugly. I don't like monkey ass rapists hehehe
Zakin: Lad probably still has nightmares about it...
Mayhem gives a long weird look to Zakin.
Shawn: Fuck man, I just wanna finish my cigar...
Sterling: I'd shut the FUCK up if I were you, Davey.
Zakin finishes the bottle of rum. As his eyes roll into the back of his head, he tosses the bottle of rum up in the air. It lands on the back of Thrilla's head.
Sterling: Bout time he passed the fuck out
Mayhem: Hey guys, how about we just sit back and relax, this is about having some fun. Collins smoke your stogie and enjoy the show. Sterling, we've got a free trip to the bar., get youself something. Zakin, you've never had a lap dance, go get one
Thrilla doesn't seem to twitch. Zakin falls to the floor. Some ladies help him up and they carry him to the "bathroom"...heh heh we know where he's going.
Mayhem: How about it guys?
Shawn: Yeah man.. fuck... thanks for tha bear!! Err...
Mayhem: Not yet man hehehe
Sterling: Yeah, you got a point. Might as well vent some fuckin' rage.
Mayhem: They give great lap dances here, hehehe
Shawn: Huh?
Mayhem: Shawn: Fuck man... I cant walk! Yeah Shawn take your Dramamine and get a dance hehehe
Mayhem: I know where I'm going (Mayhem says standing up)
Shawn: Fuck man... I'll do that...
Shawn grabs a beer from the table and grabs on to the wall to help him walk.
Shawn: Good to see you all.. thanks for the beer ya fucker!
Shawn laughs as he takes a girl by the hand and walks into a room.
Mayhem walking over to a Maralyn Monroe look alike takes her hand and walks to a blue colored door We hear Zakin rambling on like a bloody pirate as the ladies "nurture him back to health"
Sterling: I'm gonna stay here for a bit I think and uh... indulge in some of the scenery, if you catch my drift.
End
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