Tim: *screaming over all the commotion* WELCOME EVERYONE TO THIS EDITION OF SATURDAY SUICIDE!!!

(Tim has to stop as the sound is too loud to talk over. Finally, the music is fading away and the last of the pyrotechnics go off.)

Jeff: What a way to start off what will have to be one of the most incredible Suicide in the near two year history of the HWF!

Tim: That’s right! We will have a JAM PACKED card, as we will crown the HWF Hardcore champion!

Jeff: Our time slot has been expanded to an hour and a half, just so we could give you, the people, every single second of hard to the f’n core action we’re gonna have tonight!!

Tim: Let’s just review the tournament, so we know what to expect.

Jeff: Alright... First, we have New York Islander facing "The Icon" J. Simon Rykopathe... Both men have been absent as of late, but just a few days ago Rykopathe has made a return. He dropped The Eliminators gimmick, really making a showing for himself. The only thing I want to know, is where is the Islander? I haven’t seen him all day...

Tim: Me either, Jeff... That’s why I must pass on this little memo from President Superstar:

Jeff: So, I guess NYI is outta here!

Tim: Sure looks like it! I guess that means Rykopathe gets a slide into the semi-finals.

(Suddenly, interrupting the commentators is NYI’s theme "Islander." The crowd erupts and jump to their feet, as the unexpected appearance of the New York Islander occurs! Spotlights go all around the arena, searching for NYI. Finally, following the points of the crowd, the spotlight and camera locate NYI. He’s in his normal Islanders attire, with his hockey stick lifted into the air with his arm. The cheers get louder as NYI stage dives on to the crowd, and his ‘crowd surfs’ to ringside!)

Jeff: Hell, Tim... I think we’ve just been duked by the Islander!

Tim: He’s here and ready to go!

(NYI gets in the ring, playing to the crowd. "Black" by Sevendust hits as the crowd once again erupts, as both seem to be favorites. (Not by attitude, but extremeness) The music gets going good and "The Icon" appears, wielding a ladder. Rykopathe carries the ladder to the ring, setting it down beside the ring. Rykopathe looks around, then begins to climb the ladder. He reaches the second rung from the top and raises his arms. Out of no where, NYI charges the ladder, sending "The Icon" off an through two tables below! The crowd goes nuts as NYI walks towards Rykopathe.)

Jeff: Now?

Tim: Uh... yeah, ok.

Jeff: *clears his throat* OH MY GOD!!!!

(NYI clears the broken tables away to get at Rykopathe. NYI begins to pound away, dragging Icon on his knees towards the ring. NYI rolls him in the ring, then climbs to the ring apron. He hits a catapult legdrop!)

Tim: The big man can still get in the air.

Jeff: Yes he can.

(NYI gets up and brings ICON to his feet. He whips ICON to the ropes, then back body drops him high into the air! Icon smashes into the mat, with a sickening ‘thud.’ NYI once again brings Icon to his feet, this time putting him in a standing head scissors. NYI connects his hands and brings Rykopathe up for a powerbomb, but the Icon reverses with a hurricanrana! Icon quickly runs to the ropes, hitting a middle rope moonsault on to the Islander.)

Tim: We’ve got a comeback on our hands, it looks like...

(Icon quickly brings NYI to his feet, grabs NYI by the hair, runs to the ropes, and tosses him right over the top rope and to the outside! Icon gets out, grabbing the ladder. He folds it up and drives the end into the jaw of NYI! He backs up a bit, still with the ladder. Icon runs towards NYi, throwing the ladder out in front, and dropkicks it right in the face of NYI! The Islander is busted all to hell, blood trickling down his forehead. Icon takes no time in going after the cut with boots of fury.)

Jeff: Islander is busted open!

(Icon throws the ring apron covering up, dragging out a table and two chairs. As he assembles the table, Jeff makes his witty comment.)

Tim: The Icon has a table and two chairs!

Jeff: Yeah, and I’m pretty sure they’re not having a tea party, either.

(Icon takes one chair and cracks it against the skull of NYI. Icon then lifts NYI on to the ring apron, then himself. Icon manages to get the big man on his shoulder for a fireman’s carry, the ropes definitely aiding him. The Icon swings him around and hits a Michinoku Driver through the table!)

Tim: That’s the Icon Bomb!

Jeff: It’s all over!

(Instead of going for the pin, the Icon gets up and positions the ladder near NYI.)

Jeff: What the hell is he doing?

Tim: He would’ve definitely had a win, but he’s throwing it all away!

(Icon begins to climb the ladder, probably about the third rung from the top. He surveys his situation and then launches off with an incredible moonsault! He connects with NYI as the ref falls for the count.)

(1............2...........3)

Jeff: What a move! The Icon has proved he’s not just a name in the HWF, as he moves on to the second round!

Tim: It looks as though he may get to the finals, as the next match has two guys who haven’t shown in weeks....

Jeff: Yeah, Shane Schaffer and Johnny Drake aren’t even here, so that’s a bye for ICON in the semi’s.

Tim: Vic is on leave, no one has really shown new ambition for the spot, so Blackjack gets a bye... Also, the Furor is absent, giving NBK the bye to meet Blackjack. The winner will face the Icon to determine the first EVER HWF Hardcore champion!!

Jeff: Yippee! We’ve got a commercial break, but we’ll be right back with that match!

(Commercials)

Tim: We’re back everyone!

Jeff: So, i guess it’s time for...

(Interrupting Jeff is Slipknot’s "Wait and Bleed" hits the speakers. The crowd gives a mixed reaction, but loud nonetheless. Of course, Natural Born Killer appears in the entrance way. Dressed in black tear away pants, a black KoRn shirt, and his customary Jason mask. He takes his time getting to the ring, as "Oh Hell Yeah" by the H-BlockX cuts in, signaling the oncoming of Blackjack and Miss Stephanie.. Blackjack rushes to the ring, showing the definite heat between the two. He dives in the ring and NBK begins to stomp away. Blackjack battles back with right hands, backing NBK into the ropes. Whip the opposite ropes, NBK goes for a decapitating superkick, but Blackjack ducks the leg and tackles NBK to the ground, really wrenching on the groin muscles on the fall.)

Tim: This match is on and these two could careless if either one gets hurt!

(Blackjack quickly gets to his feet and brings up NBK. Scoop slam to NBK! NBK rebounds back up, spearing the hell out of Blackjack! He lays in punches, left and right. NBK gets out and goes to the outside, bringing a chair into the ring. Blackjack gets to his knees and turns right into the smack of steel on his skull. Blackjack wrenches in pain, but doesn’t fall over NBK then swings again, but Blackjack resists to fall. NBK then brings the chair to his mask, then looks to kiss the chair. He then takes a step back and SMACK!!! The echo of steel and bone is sickening, as it goes through the arena. Blackjack definitely falls back, his nose is probably broken as blood begins to flow from his nostrils.)

Jeff; I think this is going to be one of the most dangerous fights in HWF history... I mean, we’ve had more important matches, more extreme matches, but never I can remember two men who simply have more hate for the other than care for their bodies. These guys are loving this pain!

(NBK has dropped the chair to the mat and has Blackjack in a standing head scissors. NBK pulls back and drops into a pulling piledriver on the chair! Blackjack stands straight in the air, upside down, as his neck bounces off the steel. NBK then brings Blackjack to the corner, as he sets him up for a top rope powerbomb! NBK takes his time to make sure he’s positioned right and dives off, but Blackjack reverses it into an X-Factor! NBK is compeltely out, but Blackjack looks to be also. Miss Stephanie calls for him to get up, but he is out of it. Both men are lying motionless, but finally Blackjack begins to stir. He manages to get into a Raven-like pose in the corner, lifting himself up with the ropes. NBK also begins to stir as Blackjack lays in the boots. Blackjack lifts NBK up, whips him to the ropes, and clotheslines him to the outside. Blackjack then wait as NBK gets up and catapults himself on top of NBK!)

Tim: These guys are nuts!

Jeff: You just now realized that?

Tim: Well...

(Blackjack brings NBK up and whips him to the guard rail. Blackjack charges, as NBK back body drops him into the crowd! NBK follows, as the poor ref finally makes an appearance by climbing over with them. NBK has a fan’s beer, but instead of hitting Blackjack, he takes himself a drink! The beer pours all over his Jason mask, hardly getting through the mouth slit. He then throws the empty cup down, stepping over fans and chairs to get to Blackjack. NBK drags Blackjack up by his hair and puts him into another standing head scissors.)

Tim: He’s not gonna...

Jeff: If he hits a piledriver out there, Blackjack will be scraped up tomorrow by the cleaning crews!

(Thankfully, Blackjack reverses with a back body drop. Blackjack quickly gets NBK in a front face lock and puts NBK’s arm over his shoulder. Blackjack picks the Killer into the air, holding him for a bit, and drops into the Blackjack Driver (jackhammer)!!! Blackjack hooks the leg as the ref makes the count.)

(1.........2..........3)

Jeff: Blackjack is in the finals!

Tim: What a minute! "The Icon" has jumped Blackjack and they are starting this Hardcore title match!

("The Icon" is wailing away at Blackjack, evidentally regained a lot of composure during the tenure of the last match. Icon completely dominates Blackjack, nailing him with a chair to the back. Blackjack purposely falls over the rail, trying to stop the momentum of Rykopathe.)

Jeff: He’s got a good idea!

Tim: Sure does! Folks, we’ve got to take a commercial break, we’ll be back with the conclusion of this match!

(Commercials)

Jeff: We’re back! These two are so worn out from earlier matches, you’d think you were watching WCW on a good night!

Tim: Yeah, with guys thirty years younger... Hint, Ric Flair, Hint....

(Blackjack has taken control through the break and the action is in the ring. Blackjack grabs waist of Icon, hitting a gutwrench powerbomb! Blackjack gets up to the second rope and dives off, hitting a sention splash. He covers.)

(1............2, Kickout!)

Jeff: Not enough.

(Blackjack gives a throat cutting gesture as he grabs the legs of Icon, into the Blackjack 21 (sharpshooter)!!!)

Tim: Blackjack 21!!!

Jeff: I don’t think Icon will give up, though!

(Blackjack digs in, pulling back with everything he’s got. Icon won’t give up, fighting the

pain. The ref is down near the Icon, to get a good view. After minutes of struggle, Icon passes out from the pain!! The ref signals for the bell, as "Oh My God" by Guns ‘N Roses hits the speakers.)

Tim: Blackjack wins! Blackjack wins! Blackjacks is the HWF Hardcore champion!!!

Jeff: Who is coming out here?

(President Chaz "Superstar" Manson appears in his street clothes, carrying a black, silk bag. He gets into the ring, where Blackjack and Miss Stephanie are celebrating. Chaz takes a mic.)

Chaz: Blackjack, I would like to congradulate you as you are the FIRST Hardcore champion in the Hardcore Wrestling Federation!

(The crowd cheers)

Chaz: So, on behalf of the Hardcore Wrestling Federation, I would like to present you with the HWF Hardcore title!

(Chaz holds the mic between his legs and opens the bag. He pulls out an awesome belt, shining new. He presents it to Blackjack, who takes it. Chaz sticks his hand out for a hand shake, as Blackjack returns the favor.)

Chaz: Oh, just because Icon technically never was pinned or submitted, I am granting a Hardcore title shot to be given to the Icon next Sunday at Yes 2 Karnage!

(Blackjack nods his head in agreement, as Miss Stephanie fastens the belt around his waist. Blackjack raises his arms.)

Chaz: Ladies and gentlemen, your Hardcore Champion.... BLACKJACK!!!

(The crowd goes nuts with chants of "HWF! HWF!" The screen then fades as the copyright info appears on the screen.)