---

November 11, 2000

---

[6:22 pm | Barrington Ice Arena, Barrington Illinois]

[The scene is backstage. Just before Suicide, Insomnia is walking back and forth in circles very quickly, almost at a pace. Insomnia almost looks nervous for this match-up that he is going to have with Phoenix later tonight, which he should be a little nervous because this is his biggest match yet. Ryan Fuller then comes up to Insomnia with a microphone and gets up to Insomnia. Insomnia looks up at Fuller before he even says a word with these killer eyes that are just staring a hole right threw Ryan.]

Ryan: Ummmm.....yes, excuse me Insomnia.

Insomnia: What is it, can't you see that I'm concentrating on my match tonight Fuller?

Ryan: Yes I can see that but I need to ask you a few things.

Insomnia: All right, fine, go ahead.

Ryan: Allright Then, tonight you have your Hardcore Title shot that your earned two weeks ago by winning that four way match that included Trevor Lasek, Extream, and Renegade. Now you haven't said much about this match-up this week, is there a reason for that?

Insomnia: What the hell are you talking about Fuller? Didn't you watch Commish's.....I mean Insomnia's Corner this week?

Ryan: Actually no, I normally don't watch that show.

Insomnia: Well I can blame you for that, the show completely blew ass before I hosted it this week. I brought the ratings on that thing so high, it was higher than Chaz's show last week so I guess I am more talented than the CEO and Owner of this damn company, maybe I should just be owning this joint.

Ryan: Well I think Mr. Manson is better than you in the company prospect.

Insomnia: Yeah Fuller, whatever, just shut you mouth and let me speak here for a minute, got it?

Ryan: Sure, go ahead Insomnia...

Insomnia: K, look, this week on Insomnia's Corner I was doing a great job. I was getting the crowd into, making them laugh, making them cry, everything a good host is supposed to do, right?

Ryan: Correct.

Insomnia: Did I not tell you to shut the fuck up?

Ryan: Sorry.

Insomnia: Anyways, here I am minding my own business, running my show, MY SHOW, and guess who comes up.

[Insomnia looks at Fuller expecting him to talk. Ryan doesn't so Insomnia continues on.]

Insomnia: Phoenix, thats who, Phoenix. Now Phoenix, if you want to be on Insomnia's Corner all you had to do was give me a call, I would have had everything set up for you to come on, hell, we could have done our match their if we had wanted to. But no, you come out and play Mr. Nice Guy, sticking up for the crowd, all that shit, so me and Phoenix we get into a little squabble and I just destroy your ass, on my show!

Ryan: Yes, sorry to speak up again but we have a clip of that.

Insomnia: Yeah, lets watch this clip so I can show you what I am talking about.

[The clip starts as the shows Insomnia and Phoenix standing on the stage together, exchanging some words with each other. Then Insomnia and Phoenix swing a few punches at each other. Then the tape cuts to Phoenix not looking at Insomnia thinking he put him down while Insomnia goes under his desk and puts out a dictionary. Insomnia hits Phoenix over the head with the dictionary but Insomnia opens up the dictionary to reveal that there was a brick inside, which is now in dozens of peices.]

Insomnia: And see, if Phoenix can't take me on, one on one, when I'm not even prepared for him to come out, then how in the hell is Phoenix going to beat me here tonight?

Ryan: It's a good point. Insomnia: It's a hell of a good point. Now Fuller, I got a few minutes left before my match, get the hell outta my face, I need to be left alone.

[Insomnia continues his path, back and forth before walking away, as the camera then goes over to Ryans face, Ryan then shrugs and walks off as the camera cuts to a shot of Insomnia's locker room stays focused on the door as suddenly Gavin Coens, Kyle Corman, and Extream with a black steal chair are seen walking into it. A few minutes later, Insomnia comes walking back down the hall and heads into his room and seconds after the door closes, the sounds of a chair shot is heard and the camera man moves in to see Gavin and Kyle holding up Insomnia, who is now bleeding profusely from the forehead, while Extream feeds him shots. Extream then steps back and measures the beaten man and levels him with an Extream Kick knocking Insomnia to the ground. Gavin and Corman stand him back up where Gavin then sets him up while Corman sets the folded chair across the coffee table, and delivers a perfectly executed Cardinal Syn (Double Arm Bar Front Legsweep)through the coffee table and on the chair. Kyle lays in a final kick to the ribs as the 3 men curse at a bloodied Insomnia and leave the locker room as the scene fades out.]

[8:59 pm]

[The scene fades in from black to a crowd of about 2,000 fans off the wall, everyone chanting "H-W-F, H-W-F". Inside the ring is Tim Miller and Jeff Robinson, decked out in matching black business suits with different color ties. They look around the arena as the fand continue chanting and pumping their fists in the air. Tim laughs a little and then raises his mic towards his mouth.]

Tim: Hello Barrington, and welcome to HWF's SATURDAY SUICIDE!!

[The fans pop BIGTIME as Tim and Jeff laugh to themselves.]

Tim: With only one week until Reckless Behavior, this proves to be a pivotal event in the HWF's History... I'm Tim Miller...

[The crowd begins to stir in anticipation.]

Jeff: And I am Jeff "Teen Angst consists of Chris Thrilla and Spike, I don't know how they were made; because their mothers are d-

" ["Anger Management" hits the air and Teen Angst enter the arena. Chris has a yellow book with him. The fans are giving them HUGE heel heat and Jeff looks really pissed off in the ring.]

Jeff: Oh c'mon guys.

Spike: Now now Robinson, you got your shit on air last week due to my absence, I think that's about all we can handle. So take a seat, Chris and I have some things to take care of.

[Tim and Jeff leave the ring, as Chris pulls a mic out of his pocket and opens up the book. The camera zooms in on the book's cover and it reads "Face Turns For Dummies"]

Thrilla: Chapter one, cheap pops. How's everyone doing here in Barrington, Illinois?

[Pops from the crowd, some laughter.]

Spike: Wow, this shit works! Okay, skip to chapter two.

Thrilla: Y'know Spike, Illinois is home to some of the greatest sports teams in the world.

[Pop from the Illinois crowd]

Spike: What teams specifically Chris?

Thrilla: Well, like the Chicago Blackhawks!

[Pop somewhat]

Spike: Yeah. When they're not playing the Leafs!

[Boos from the crowd.]

Spike: Maybe that's not a good example. Who else?

Thrilla: Well, how about da Bears?

[Pops from the crowd once more. Louder than the previous one.]

Spike: Well, Ditka made that team, and ever since he left da Bears for announcing, and who can blame him by the way.

[Boos from the crowd.]

Spike: Ever since Ditka left, da Bears have just been sucking more cock than Valerie's gonna do by the end of the night. Okay, one last try. Gimme Illinois' BEST sports franchise.

Thrilla: How about the Chicago Bulls?

[Huge pop from the NBA crazy crowd.]

Spike: Now wait a minute.

[Crowd gets almost silent.]

Spike: Have they even won a game since you know who left? *cough*MJ*cough*

Thrilla: Good point. Illinois teams suck.

[Boos from the crowd. Thrilla throws the Face Turns For Dummies book behind his back.]

Thrilla: But don't worry Barringtonians, we'll turn face yet. Are there any Twisted Circle fans out there?

[The Chicago crowd boos wildly at the mere mention of the HWF tag team champions.]

Spike: Well Barrington, what if we told you that tonight, Teen Angst promises to take those two bastards to the limit, beat them bloody and senseless and take the belts off them and slap them around our waists?

[A small pop from the crowd.]

Spike: Right here in Barrington, Illinois?

Thrilla: We used the cheap pop already. Here, lemme try this. Barrington, how many of you out there like that bitch Ethan Scruggs brings to the ring with him?

[Pop and a "We love crack whores!" chant starts up slowly.]

Thrilla: Well, earlier today I caught up with Scruggs' slut and got some 'ahem' revealing photographs of her. Hey boys in the truck, put those pictures up on the HWF tron!

[The crowd pops as a picture of a woman's leg is on the screen. It pans up to reveal that the woman is wearing a thong. The crowd pops even more. The camera pans up even higher to reveal that the woman has very large breasts somehow fit into a tiny bikini. The crowd pops wildly now. It pans up to the head and it's Gavin Coens' head on the woman's body. The crowd pops into laughter. They start up a suprisingly loud "Teen Angst" chant and Teen Angst bows, taking their applause jokingly.]

Thrilla: I told you pictures of Ethan's bitch would turn us face!

[Twisted Circle's music hits the air and they come out followed by Valerie. Scruggs has a mic.]

Scruggs: You think you two assholes are funny? You better smarten up because tonight will be very serious! The Circle will beat your asses so badly we'll make you wish that you did quit the HWF!

[Valerie takes the mic. The crowd starts a "Show your tits!" chant. Valerie looks disgusted.]

Valerie: You people are such pigs! Just like those two bastards in the ring!

Spike: Oh c'mon Val! You've fucked half the people in this arena anyways, might as well show the other half what they'll be getting after the show!

Valerie: I would never sleep with any of these small dicked pig bastards!

Spike: Well how did you hook up with Scruggs then?

Thrilla: Spike, that's different. Scruggs is a bastard with a small pig's dick!

[Twisted Circle rush the ring and Teen Angst drop their mics and meet Scruggs and Coens in the middle of the ring. All four men exchange fists for a while until HWF officials come out and break the two teams up. Teen Angst is being held in the ring while Twisted Circle is halfway up the ramp. "Intro" by DMX hits the arena speakers and President Johnny Drake comes out followed by four security guards.]

Tim: What's Johnny Drake doing here!?!

Jeff: I don't know...

[Drake's music fades out, as the four men in the ring stop, and he begins speaking.]

Johnny Drake: Sorry to interrupt your little scuffle guys, but I have an announcement that you might be interested in...

[Small pop from the crowd.]

Johnny Drake: As most of you here tonight know; lately, a masked man keeps interfering in matches on Suicide. Well, we don't want outsiders interfering, so, if he wants to dabble in the HWF's business...

[Dramatic pause]

Johnny Drake: ...then the HWF will dabble in his business!!

[Pop from the crowd, Johnny begins pasing around the entrance way.]

Johnny Drake: So, tonight, in the Tag Title match tonight... Teen Angst versus Twisted Circle... I'll be appointing a special enforcer.

[Cheers from the fans, they starts chanting different names.]

Johnny Drake: And this enforcer is none other than... BISC LIMPKIT!!

Tim: Bisc Limpkit!?!

[The fans start cheering as Johnny smiles a little.]

Jeff: Well, Bisc is a trained wrestler... I'm sure he can handle himself.

Johnny Drake: So no DQ, best 2 out of 3 falls with Vice President Bisc Limpkit as the special guest enforcer tonight, right here in Barrington, Illinois on Saturday Suicide for the HWF tag team titles!

[Pops from the crowd.]

Johnny Drake: Until then, Valerie, ever since I became the president of the HWF, I've felt as though something was missing. Basically, I need an intern and since you seem to like sucking on cigars a lot, well.

[Loud crowd pop, Scruggs looks furious.]

Johnny Drake: Don't worry Ethan, after a woman's been with you, God knows what kind of diseases that chick might have! Now, get out of here!

[Twisted Circle and Teen Angst are escorted back to ringside by security. Johnny steps aside as they disappear through the curtain. Johnny continues.]

Johnny Drake: And Barrington, I have one more announcement to make tonight... concerning the Reckless Behavior main event!!

[More pops from the crowd.]

Johnny Drake: Have a good time, I'll see you guys later...

[Johnny's music hits again, as the fans cheer him. The picture slowly fades into commercial.]

[Commercials]

Jeff: Damn Teen Angst, they deserve to get bitch smacked like the two 17 year old bitches they are.

Tim: And what you going to do about it, huh?

Jeff: I'm not going to do anything, but they're 17 YEAR OLDS, they should be in diapers or something.

Tim: Oh yeah, say that to their faces.

Jeff: I would, but, argh, damnit Tim, we gotta cut backstage to Ryan Fuller.

Tim: Why?

Jeff: He tracked down Michael Trey in the locker room for an interview. The way it's been lately, it's easier to find a prostitute nun than it is to track our former champion down for a formal interview...

[Cuts to Ryan Fuller in the back with a cameraman. They're in Michael Trey's locker room; Trey sits straddling a low bench, getting his gear on for the match later tonight. In another corner, Claire Matthews sits, glued to the television; specifically, CNN's unrelenting presidential coverage. Ryan glance over at Claire.]

Ryan Fuller: Damn, Trey, what's up with her?!

Michael Trey: Eh... she's a democrat. Leave her alone.

Ryan Fuller: Riiiiiiiight. Anyways Mikey, now that we've got you back here, give us the deal straight up, okay?

Michael Trey: Don't I always? Shoot.

Ryan Fuller: First thing on the agenda... your increasing activity OUTSIDE of the Hardcore Wrestling Federation. Just as we are starting to really take off, it seems like you're more interested in tournaments and all this other crap. What's up with that?!

Michael Trey: You trying to say that I'm going to leave the HWF?

Ryan Fuller: Uh.... well.. it seems as if...

Michael Trey: It doesn't SEEM like anything. I'd think by now that I had made it perfectly clear that I started my career here, and I'll END my career here. I'm not leaving, Fuller.

Ryan Fuller: Then why were you in the FWF Power Plant? The Last Man Standing tourney? And now you're in another one, aren't you? Thrill Fest III?

Michael Trey: Yeah, I'm in another tourney. What of it? I'm doing it to represent the HWF out in the entire industry. I'm the first one to say that HWF is probably the best federation around besides the Big 2 or 3. But the fact is, not everyone knows. By getting out there and finishing a good spot in some of these tourneys, I'm showing the rest of the wrestling world just how GOOD the HWF is.

Ryan Fuller: Okay, okay... don't be so touchy.

Michael Trey: Next question, Fuller.

Ryan Fuller: Well, you've got a match with Jayson Starr tonight...

Michael Trey: ... non-title, of course.

Ryan Fuller: You sound bitter? Any reason why?

Michael Trey: Why WOULDN'T I be?! I get beat for MY title, I'm still the #1 Contender, and yet when I go back against the guy, it's "non-title". This is bullshit! I thought that the HWF World Championship was supposed to be around the waist of the best HWF wrestler... if and when I beat Starr tonight... how can he claim to be the "best"?

Ryan Fuller: Is that all, Michael? I think there's mor-

Michael Trey: Damn right there's more to it.

[Just as Michael finishes his sentence, the locker room door opens and in comes new Vice President and (apparently) former SWF VP, Bisc Limpkit. Claire and Ryan both see him and their jaws drop. Trey stares at Bisc, who returns the stare. Fuller and Claire look back and forth, waiting for someone to speak.]

Bisc Limpkit: Trey, long time no speak, friend...

[Michael just continues the stare for a moment, before answering.]

Michael Trey: ... what do you want, Bisc?

Bisc Limpkit: To catch up man. You won't answer my calls, you won't accept my mail, hell... you didn't even respond to the porn I sent you, what is up with that?!

[Fuller snickers at the mention of porn, but Trey remains stonefaced.]

Bisc Limpkit: Come on Trey, lighten up.

Michael Trey: Lighten up? LIGHTEN UP?!

[Fuller and Claire begin to get concerned, both moving a little instinctively. Bisc begins to speak, but Trey cuts him off.]

Michael Trey: Bisc, you didn't try to "catch up" with me when you were secretly on HWF staff... why would you now? Come on man, don't give me this. What's the real reason? Did Chaz make you come down here? Drake? Collins? What? Why are you REALLY here, Bisc?!

Bisc Limpkit: Damn man, we spent too much time back in 'nam together... you can read me like a book.

[Trey looks unphased, yet again, by Bisc's attempt of humour...]

Ryan Fuller: Man, you weren't even in 'nam, you're Australian.

Bisc Limpkit: Shut up Fuller, the Aussie's fought in 'nam, just as hard as you would have, if you got your scrawny ass some balls, and went out and fought for your fine country.

Ryan Fuller: I never knew Aussies HAD balls...

Claire Matthews: Would you two knock it off for two seconds?! Seriously, Bisc, what's up here?

Bisc Limpkit: First Fuller, if I could, I'd slap some resssssssshpect into you, but we need you here to capture this kodak moment. Drake needed to pass something onto you; instead, I volonteered to come, seeing how I wanted to catch up...

Michael Trey: And that is?

Bisc Limpkit: Due to your, ahem, *coughs funny*FWF*coughs again* stint, you've missed a shitload of promo stuff for the HWF. That's okay, but you missed the important one. Remember, the TNN one?

Michael Trey: The what?

Bisc Limpkit: Damn Trey, the TNN, TNN? Their head of office came to HWF HQ last week to discuss a lucritive deal to get Saturday Suicide on BIG TV. Where were you? You're the main nice guy. You were booked to be there.... Drake wasn't happy, the deal fell through, and they're laughing at us.

Michael Trey: I feel bad, Bisc, I really do... but not for you. For Drake, for Chaz... for the fans. After the past couple weeks, I figured you could handle anything without me there to hold your hand through it...

Claire Matthews: Michael...

Bisc Limpkit: Trey, you're turning into a prick. I sense a bad feeling in this room... have you contracted Sterlingitis?

Michael Trey: Come on man, what are you going to do, hunh?! Fine me? Suspend me?! Face it Duane, I'm not the one who changed. I wouldn't leave my friend out to dry like that. You did... you're the one who's turning into a jerk.

Ryan Fuller: Are you hearing this fans?! Michael Trey, superstar... possibly suspended?!

Claire Matthews: Shut UP, Fuller!

[For one of the first times since the EPWA "Innovator" angle, Bisc looks basically blank across his face.]

Bisc Limpkit: Did I just hear that correctly?

[Intense moment of silence.]

Bisc Limpkit: Trey man, you gotta list-

Michael Trey: No, Bisc, YOU gotta listen! You've become someone that I don't even feel like I KNOW anymore. I can't trust you, I can't believe you... and I sure as hell don't feel like I should have to listen to YOU.

[Michael gets up off the bench vehemently.]

Michael Trey: Fine me for missing the promotional appearances, whatever... I've got a match to prepare for and I don't have time to sit here and put up with your hypocritical crap. Let me know when you've come to your senses, DUANE.

[Michael storms off, out of the locker room. Claire, Fuller, and Bisc are all dumbfounded. Claire slowly follows him, gradually jogging out the door. Fuller turns to Bisc.]

Bisc Limpkit: What the fuck is up with that?! Look Trey, I know you can hear me; this place is wired for sound. We gotta talk. I expect to see you later... I'm not going to fire you, I'm not a bad guy, honest. And Fuller, get that stinkin' thing outta my face before...

[Fuller takes the advice, as the footage comes to a close.]

Tim: Man, I'm glad I'm not Ryan Fuller right now...

Jeff: You said it.

Tim: Let's get to the first match....

[“One More Road To Cross” by DMX hits to a chorus of boos from the audience.]

Tim: Here comes Jack Daddy with his escort, Kristi Delicious, to ringside for Jack Daddy’s match with one of the most insane competitors in the HWF – Trevor Lasek.

Jeff: Yeah! This is going to be great!

[Jack Daddy makes his way down the isle with Kristi wrapped around his right arm. Some of the front row fans are throwing empty cups at him. He just turns and spits at them. He enters the ring and lifts his arms to even more “boos”; Kristi just smiles.]

[A wave of guitar chords sends electricity through the crowd. “Wake Up” by Rage Against The Machine plays as the crowd goes wild.]

Jeff: Those people are reacting like an army of giant monkeys on viagra!

Tim: Giant monkeys on viagra?!

[Trevor Lasek stands at the top of the entrance way. He smiles, and lifts his arms to another pop. He runs down to the ring, and slides in. The bell rings immediately, and Jack Daddy begins it with a barrage of kicks on his opponent.]

Tim: Looks like Jack Daddy is getting the upper hand early in the match.

Jeff: Yeah, and look at Kristi. She sure looks Delicious tonight, doesn’t she?

Tim: Sure does. But how about you start doing your job, and commentate the match!

[Jack Daddy stops kicking Lasek, and smiles as he puts his arms in the air again. The fans begin cheering “LA-SEK! LA-SEK!” Jack Daddy, who is telling them to shut up, doesn’t notice Lasek getting up. Lasek walks behind Jack Daddy and taps him on the shoulder.]

Jeff: Look out behind you Jack Daddy! It’s Lasek!

[Jack Daddy turns slowly. As he goes around all 180 degrees, he is met with a kick to the gut, followed by a DDT.]

Tim: Now that’s a ‘picture perfect’ DDT!

Jeff: That has got to be the stupidest pun I’ve heard all day!

[Lasek follows the DDT with a leg drop on Jack Daddy’s head. Jack Daddy grabs his head in pain. Trev picks up Jack Daddy, and throws him against the ropes. Jack Daddy, sensing an opportunity, bounces off and delivers a quick spinning hurricanrana, dropping Lasek. Both men get up quickly, and as Lasek runs towards Jack Daddy, JD quickly applies a drop toe hold. Jack Daddy pulls Lasek up, and hooks his head beneath his right shoulder. He grabs Lasek’s leg, and tries to lift him. Kristi begins to bang her hands on the mat, yelling and cheering for Jack Daddy.]

Tim: Jack Daddy can’t get Trevor Lasek up!

Jeff: Yeah... and look at Kristi go!

[Lasek smiles and shakes his head. He pushes Jack Daddy to the ropes, while still hooked in a reversed headlock position. Lasek then throws him against the ropes. Jack Daddy bounces off once again. Lasek bounces off the other side.]

Jeff: They’re going to smash into each other!

[Jack Daddy tries to pull off a running rana, but Trevor Lasek catches him in the air, and continues to run.]

Tim: What is Lasek doing?!

Jeff: He’s crazy! Who knows what he’s doing!

[Jack Daddy, still in the pre-powerbomb position on Lasek’s shoulders holds on as Lasek runs towards the ropes. As soon as Lasek reaches them, he throws Jack Daddy off his shoulders on to the open ground outside of the ring.]

Jeff: THERE’S NO MAT THERE!

Tim: Jack Daddy has to be finished!

Jeff: I think his head hit the ground first! That wasn’t a powerbomb! He just threw Jack Daddy like a rag doll!

Tim: And the crowd loves it!

[“H-W-F! H-W-F! H-W-F!”]

[Lasek raises his arms and smiles. He goes into his pocket and pulls out a pack of matches.]

Jeff: Oh no! Now what?

[Lasek lights the match, and puts it on his shirt.]

Tim: The crowd knows what’s coming!

[His shirt is now engulfed in flames as he climbs to the top rope, looking down on Jack Daddy. Lasek adjusts his tuque, and jumps off the top rope, flying in the air.]

Tim: He look like the fucking human torch! But maybe 100 pounds wider!

Jeff: HE LOOKS LIKE A GOD DAMN CRAZY PERSON!

Tim: It’s THE SPLASH FROM HELL!

[Kristi quickly moves Jack Daddy from his previous position, and Trev Lasek lands on his stomach. He rolls around on the concrete, still burning. Jack Daddy gets up and runs into the ring with his eyes wide open. Faintly, the crowd can hear Jack Daddy yelling “WHAT THE FUCK?” over their screams.]

[“HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!”]

[Now we see Kyle Corman and Shawn Collins in the back. They are in Shawn’s room, sitting on nice couches watching the match:]

Kyle: Lasek is one crazy son of a bitch!

Shawn: I agree... but have you ever thought about that Holy Shit chant?

Kyle: What are you talking about?

Shawn: How can shit be holy?! It’s fucking waste from the body. I mean, fuck, even if God did take shits, I don’t think his shit would be any more special than mine, or yours, or Extream’s, or even Gavin’s!

[Kyle slaps his forehead, and shakes his head as we go back to the match:]

[Lasek gets up, and worms his way into the ring. Jack Daddy walks back as Lasek walks towards him. As Jack Daddy reaches the ropes, Lasek lunges for him. But Jack Daddy ducks, and Lasek meets Kristi, who is holding a Fire Extinguisher. She lets it loose, putting Lasek out.]

Jeff: I think Kristi just saved Lasek’s life!

Tim: Yeah, and what the hell was our Commissioner talking about?

Jeff: Holy shit is an oxymoron. Just like bittersweet, and ...

Tim: Alright, shut up!

[Jack Daddy picks up a now cooler Trevor Lasek, and takes him to the corner. He climbs the turnbuckle, and applies a tornado DDT on Lasek.]

Jeff: I believe that was “GOOD RIDDANCE”, and good riddance to that fire. I was starting to get hot over here.

Tim: Are you sure that was because of the fire? Or Kristi?

Jeff: Huh? What are you talking about?

[Jack Daddy goes for the pin.]

[One... ...Two... ...Th...KICKOUT!]

Jeff: How is Lasek still alive?!

[Jack Daddy yells at the ref, and kicks Trev down again.]

Tim: Now what?

[Jack Daddy raises his arms in the air, and gets on his head as if doing a hand stand. Instead, he does a head spin.]

Tim: I didn’t know Jack Daddy could breakdance.

Jeff: Well now you know.

[Jack Daddy gets up and climbs the top turnbuckle.]

Jeff: I think he’s setting up for “Perfection Personified”.

[Lasek slowly gets up, and Jack Daddy jumps backwards, trying to perform a corkscrew moonsault, but Trev Lasek grabs his legs to complete a face buster.]

Tim: Was setting up for a Perfection Personified.

[Lasek turns Jack Daddy over, and pins him.]

[One... ...Tw...Kristi puts Jack Daddy’s leg on the ropes.]

[The ref doesn’t see her, but sees the leg and breaks up the pin. The crowd boos, and Kristi raises her arms in the air, happy with what she’s done.]

[Lasek leans over the ropes and grabs Kristi by the hair. The crowd goes wild. But Jack Daddy gets a low blow on Lasek, preventing any damage.]

Tim: That was low.

Jeff: And the ‘stupidest puns of the day’ award goes to...Tim Miller!

Tim: Shut up.

[Lasek quickly recovers and Jack Daddy tried to punch him. Lasek ducks, and racks Jack Daddy on his shoulders. He flips him around, and converts the Argentine Backbreaker Rack into a DDT.]

Jeff: AKIRA DRIVER!

[Lasek goes for the pin again, but Kristi Delicious is distracting the referee. Lasek gets up and walks over to Kristi, yelling at her. Kristi slaps Lasek.]

Tim: Looks like Lasek is going to do something about this.

Jeff: Kristi! Get out of there! Go now!

[Lasek pushes Kristi to the floor. Jack Daddy gets up, and turns Lasek around. But Trevor kicks Jack Daddy in the gut and raises him in the air. Flapjack into a mat slam!]

Tim: THE PHAT SMACK!

Jeff: KRISTI!!!!

[One... ...Two... ...THREE!!]

Tim: And Trevor Lasek wins the match!

Jeff: Is Kristi okay?

[Lasek raises his right arm in victory, and holds his abdomen with the other. He walks off victorious as “Wake Up” by Rage Against The Machine continues to blare over the speakers.]

[Commercials]

["If Only We Could Fly..." echoes through the arena as the beginning to Limp Bizkit's "My Generation" plays over the speakers and the lights cut out and the fans get up. Blue smoke fills the entrance and Gavin Coens walks out to boo's from the crowd...... the a large roar is heard as Extream emerges, and some more cheers as the Canadian Kid follows right behind. The three men walk down to the ring as "OUTLAWED GENERATION" flashes across the screen. They get in the ring, and Extream climbs one turnbuckle, CK goes to another, and Gavin stands in the middle, as a huge display of fireworks burst into light above them. CK and Extream jump down and Extream gets the mic and steps up to the edge of the ropes and starts to talk to all the fans.]

Extream: Alright, I am sick and tired of the old school HWF boys getting screwed week in and week out. The reason the four of us are together is because we have had enough. You would think Chaz and Drake would like the old school boys a little more. Kinda favor us more than the rest considering we made the HWF the HWF it is today. Without stars like Extream, Canadian Kid, and Gavin Coens the HWF would have been run into the ground. But we put our hearts, out souls, our blood on the line to make it the best god damn fed it can be. But yet we get overlooked with all the new guys coming in.

[Small cheers, some boo's.]

Extream: We are done, we are not going to take any shit from anyone anymore. Tonight we are going to start to take the HWF back. This is our place and we are going to show everyone that this is our house. Don't fuck with us, if you do you will get knocked to the side like the rest. Rykopathe, PPV, the rematch from hell man. Lets show the new guys what old school HWF is all about, Extream kicking your ass all over the arena. I'm Done.

[Extream tosses the mic into the air and Kyle Corman grabs it. He walks around the ring and then lifts his head to the crowd.]

Canadian Kid: First off, I would like to give a shout out to the fourth member of this newest HWF dynasty, Shawn Collins, who's chillin' in the back taking care of some business. But down to business, as my colleague was just stating, the HWF has sunk to a new level. The executives are pushing the likes of Insomnia, Phoenix, and even David Zakin. When who is it who brought back the HWF from the dead??? Not any of them! It was the likes of former multi time World Champ Extream, the first Lightweight Champ, myself, and this man next to me, Gavin Coens with titles coming out of his ass he's had so many. Not to mention the others like Rykopathe, and Williams. The HWF is home to guys who have given there blood, sweat, and tears since the beginning. Then, as soon as some new guys waltz in, a huge push in given there way and they become superstars! Well what about us?? The point is, today is the beginning of the end for all of the new talent, and it has already started with Insomnia earlier tonight. We don't give a fuck about any of you, and by the time this night is over... you all will give a fuck about us!

[Another mixed reaction from the crowd.]

Canadian Kid: As for Reckless Behavior, the Canadian Title is up for grabs as I take on one of those "new talents" in David Zakin. It will be a long night for you Zakin, as I knock your ass out and climb that ladder to capture MY TITLE! I will reign as the TRUE Canadian Champion! Gavin, you're up.

[Kyle tosses the mic towards Gavin who grabs it. Extream leans on the ropes and Corman sits atop the far turnbuckle. Gavin speaks.]

Gavin Coens:Can anyone else tell me the one guy in the HWF who could've won the tag belts by himself? and who won two titles in his 1st week here in the HWF? and who's defeated the top contenders for the Heavyweight Title but recieved no shot himself? What? Nobody can? Of course you can't you ignorant bastards! And you know why that is? It's because of lackluster fucks behind the desks in the HWF headquarters, the very same ones who hold me back from accomplishing my goals, and the very same ones who stop me from receiving the fame and fortune that I so rightfully deserve!! You know damn well who I'm talking about too, isn't that right Drake?

[Boo's from the crowd, at Gavin disrespecting the Prez.]

Gavin Coens: Tell me Drake, how am I supposed to solidify my spot as a main eventer and an HWF Superstar if everything I achieve is shadowed and overlooked by you and your clones in the HWF offices? How Drake? How the hell is the Sole Superstar in Wrestling gonna get what is deservingly his? I'll tell how... ...By taking it! I'm sick and tired of the backstage politics that are being orchestrated by you, so now we're gonna change all that. We're gonna set things right again. And that's why the Outlawed Generation will do whatever we please, whenever the hell we want. And that's the honest to God.. sorry, the honest to Gavin truth!!!

[My Generation by Limp Bizkit blares through the arena as the three men leave the ring area to mixed reactions from the crowd.]

Jeff: Well that was interesting, and what's with Coens anyway? Is he a Twisted Circle member, or a member of this new stable, the Outlawed Generation!? And why the hell did they just use Justin Storms music, or was it the Starr Jammerz? I can't remember, but they just ripped either ones music.

Tim: Any yeah, I suppose we better cut to the commercials now.

[Commercials]

Tim: And what do we have next?

Jeff: I'm thinkin' it's the Circle, versus those punks who call themselves Teen Angst. Damn Teen Angst, damn them to hell.

Tim: Anyway, this is going to be a tag team title match, 2 out of 3 falls, should be exciting. And it's now been made, falls count anywhere, wonder why?

Jeff: I have no idea, makes for more craziness.

["Getcha Groove On" by Limp Bizkit hits the air and the lights go out. Red spotlights circle the arena and stop at the entrance ramp. A large white screen is in front of the entrance way. Red strobe lights from behind the screen begin flickering on and off, revealing the shadows of "The Canadian Killah" Chris Thrilla and Spike. Once Fred Durst begins rapping the white screen shatters like glass and Thrilla and Spike walk out onto the ramp. Strobe lights from under the ramp go on and off and Thrilla and Spike walk out and over them. They stand over a set of lights for a while and raise their arms above their heads and cross them, making their trademark X or dropout signs by clapping their forearms together. Red pyro streaks down from the top of the arena ceiling to the sides of the ramp. Chris and Spike walk down the aisle, carrying a huge dumpster full of weapons behind them. Chris always looking at the floor so as not to look at the fans giving him hand gestures and Spike taunting and agrivating the crowd. Thrilla and Spike slide under the bottom rope and bounce to their feet again, raise their arms in the X again as red spotlights follow Thrilla and Spike. Both men go to opposite corners, Thrilla standing on the second turnbuckle and Spike balanced on the third, they place their arms into the dropout symbol X and both turn their necks to look at the other. They point one finger at each other and slowly raise their arms to point to the roof. They climb down to the mat, the music fades out and the lights dim back on.]

Nigel Rolston: And introducing, first, the challangers, weighing in at a combined weight of 390 lbs, Chris Thrilla and Spike, TEEEEEEEEEEEN ANGSTTTTTTTT!

Tim: Holy moley, they've brought some toys with them.

Jeff: I hope the Circle kick their assess. Speaking of which.. [The lights dim down as a computerized voice counts down from three.]

[ ....3.... ]

[ ....2.... ]

[ ....1.... ]

[ BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! ]

[Red and Gold pyro erupts from the rampway as "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie begins to rock the arena loudspeakers. Valerie comes out first wearing a red mini-T with a pair of black leather shorts, toking on a cigar. She stops mid-way down the aisle and points towards the curtains, as Ethan Scruggs and Gavin Coens rip through simultaneously, and head straight for the ring with Valerie in tow.]

Nigel Rolston: And introducing second, these are your HWF, Tag Team Champions, weighing in at a combined weight of 536 lbs and acoompanied by Valerie, Ethan Scruggs and Gavin Coens: TWISSSSSSSSSTED CIIIIIIIIIIIIRCLE!

Jeff: Wooohooo, our saviors have arrived. This should be good. And my oh my, come to papy Jeff, Ms Valerie.

[A instant stare down starts, as Coens and Scruggs smirk at their opponents. An almost "You guys are pathetic" look, creaps over the smirk, as the Referee, Rich Michaels gets timekeeper Joey Tompkins to ring the bell.]

[Ding, Ding]

[Instantly Teen Angst spring into action, charging at their opponents. Spike goes for a flying clothesling on Scruggs, while Thirlla executes a rolling calf kick to the chest of Coens. Coens and Scruggs tumble to the outside, instantly getting back up, while looking suprised at being caught off guard by Teen Angst.]

Tim: Twisted Circle look surprised, obviously they didn't expect Teen Angst to come out with all guns blazing.

[Chris Thrilla edges his way to the ropes, leaning over the top one on the side that the Circle is on, dishing out a verbal slugging, untill Scruggs invites him to the outside by grabbing his legs and yanking him through the bottom ropes. Coens and Sruggs then procede to bludgeon Thrilla's head into a bloody pulp with a two-on-one rapeing of Thrilla with vicious fists to the face. Spike, shakes his head, then backs up. Bouncing off the far ropes, and taking flight, over the top rope with a huge cross body, as Ethan and Coens finish their punching on Thrilla. Spike lands right in the arms of Scruggs, who torks it into a vicious powerslam to the concrete floor.]

Jeff: Yeah, thats the stuff. The inexperience shows, Teen Angst has no hope today.

Tim: But where's Bisc Limpkit!?!

Jeff: I don't know... maybe he's looking for Trey again...

Tim: Yeah... ...probably...

[Scruggs hops up on one knee, and smiles to the delight of the hardcore hungert of the crowd. As Coens, picks up Thrilla, and slams him chin-first over the apron, with a nice little flapjack. Thrilla bounces sickeningly from the blow, and colapses to the mat, with Scruggs rolling Spike back into the ring. Ethan, hops up onto the apron, and slides, in after Spike, who is up on his feet, Spike gets a quick shot to the balls in as Ethan does the chicken walk, Spike then sets him up for a DDT. He pauses and raises his fist to the cheering crowd. He then goes to drop it down, but Ethan overpowers it. Scruggs then pushes Spike away, and swings a huge rib breaking-type kick to the guts of Scruggs. Scruggs blocks it, with a catch, then does the 'ol "No, No, No" finger wave at Scruggs, Ethan then smiles and swings his other leg up for a big enziguri. As the kick comes over, Spike ducks, but Scruggs manages to catch his head with his arm, and delivers a weird-ass face slam on the mat out of nowhere.]

Tim: Ooh, innovative reversal to the reversal of the reversal there by Scruggs.

Jeff: Yeah, that's pure Twisted Circle there for you.

[As Spike holds his face in pain, Thrilla starts to get a upperhand on Coens on the outside. Thrilla, hits a nice, DDT, followed by two quick leg drops. He then rolls Coens into the ring, as Scruggs helps his partner up. Thrilla hops up onto the apronn, as Spike slowly gets up behind the backs of Twisted Circle. Thrilla smartly and slowly, steps through the ropes, as Goens starts to charge, Spike taps him on his back, and he turns. As Coens runs at Spike, Chris and Ethan pair off and Ethan gets an advantage. Ethan goes for the Orange Crush bomb but Chris slips out of it and lands on his feet behind Ethan. He hits the ropes and ducks a Scruggs clothesline then hits the ropes and ducks a Scruggs back elbow, hits the ropes again, slides under Scruggs' legs and Scruggs tries a back elbow again but Chris stops, catches Scruggs' arm and does a side Phillipino leg sweep. Chris goes for the early pin but Coens who has just layed out Spike with one of the most vicious fall away slams from a standing pick up, breaks up the first early count.]

Tim: Extreme quickness shown there by Chris.

Jeff: Extreme strength shown there by Gavin.

Tim: Extreme sarcasm shown there by Jeff.

Jeff: Shut up.

[The crowd, with a hunger for weapons, begins a "Wea-pons" "Clap-Clap-Clap, Wea-Pons" chant. As Coens picks up Thrilla off the ground beside Scruggs and slams him down with a easy press slam. Scruggs is up, as Spike has rolled to the outside, still holding his back. Scruggs rolls to the apron, as Coens grabbs Thrilla by the legs, and pulls him up into a slingshot preperation. Scruggs calls it and bounces up onto the ropes, as Coens slignshots Thrilla into a nasty springboard missile dropkick. Thrilla's slumps to the mat, as Coens goes for a cover.]

[One... ...Two... ...Thr...KICKOUT!!]

Jeff: Damnit, that "Pain Factor" double team move should of had the first fall won.

[Spike gets up, and finds his dreaded Skateboard of Doom, under the ring.]

Tim: Seems like Tony Hawk used to be a pro wrestler.

Jeff: What the?! God damn that was lame.

[Scruggs has thrown Thrilla to the outside, and is proceeding to kick him to death, Coens has rolled out to the other side, where the wrestlers enterances are made. He starts searching around for a weapon under the ring apron as Spike runs around the corner and comes up from behind Coens with his Skateboard in hand, and cracks Gavin right over the back of his head! Gavin crumples to the floor, and Spike reaches underneath the ring for another weapon. He feels around for a bit, and smiles approvingly. He raises his arm to the crowd. and pulls out a table! The crowd pops for the first arrival of a table in the match, but Spike reaches underneath the ring again. and pulls out a bag of tacks!]

Tim: This is going to get real messy, real fast!

Jeff: Hey, cool! That's what I always say to the chicks that I bring back to my place!

Tim: That's disgusting!

Jeff: Oh, I know, I know!

[Spike goes around behind Scruggs, who is beating Thrilla up, still, with standing kicks to his ribs and back, and Spike locks on a quick sleeper, then lays down with a Sleeping Neckbreaker. Spike rolls Scruggs into the ring then goes around and drags in both the table and the bag of tacks. Spike sets up the table near the center of the ring, and empties the tacks in the middle. Scruggs gets up slowly behind Spike, and low blows him! Spike leans over, nearly paralyzed from the pain! Scruggs stands Spike back up on his feet and locks in a suplex position. He raises Spike dangerously close to the tack-ridden table and turns to face it.]

Tim: Oh no!. he's going for an Orange Crush Bomb onto that table!

Jeff: Eeee hee hee! Tacks and Tables and Spike, oh my!

Tim: Shut up! Anyway, weren't you going for Twisted Circle?

Jeff: Yeah, I am, but still couldn't resist.....Tack and Tables and Spike, oh my!

[Spike wriggles out of Scruggs' solid suplex lock and slides down his back. He grabs hold of Scruggs' arms and lifts him up into a crucifix position. Scruggs shakes Spike and drops out of the crucifix, holding onto Spike's arm as he falls to the mat and locks on a single arm-scissors and reaches forwards for the cross-face! Spike uses his free arm to drag himself away from Scruggs' grip, so the Atlantic City Stretch can't be locked in! Spike manages to crawl to his feet, still with Scruggs barring his arm, but Spike rolls forwards to break the hold, but Scruggs hangs on! Spike spins Scruggs around a bit to shake him off, but Ethan holds on, still! Spike rolls forwards again, untwisting his arm, balances himself on his head and pops back onto his feet, lucha-libre style and wrenches the arm of Scruggs! He quickly lifts Scruggs into a spinning argentine rack, grabs hold of his legs with both arms and sends him crashing through the tacked table with a sitting spinebuster!!]

Tim and Jeff: Holy shit!

[The crowd joins Jeff and Tim with a massive pop and a "Ho-LY-SHIT" chant as Scruggs squirms around in agony, as does Spike who has a tack lodged in his forehead. Coens, is now just starting to stand up from the Head Plant, Spike and his Skateboard gave him, has rolled into the ring. Thrilla too, has got up, and he's rolled into the ring. Spike rolls over, and looks up, showeded by the ominous presence of a pissed off Coens. Gavin then spots the tack, and plants a big insect squasher, imbedding the thumbtack right in his forehead, as Spike whines in pain, and instantly grasps his face. The crowd, unaware of a tack being imbedded into Spikes forehead, still ooooh, as Coens snikkers at his doings before turning around to a diving clothesline from Thrilla. Spike has bravely got to his feet, and slides Scruggs out from the broken table carnage. As he picks a chair up and head to the top turnbuckle.]

Tim: What's he going to do now?

Jeff: I dunno, but have you noticed, there hasn't even been a pin fall yet?

Tim: Yes, and have you noticed, that Teen Angst have shown a pyscho side tonight?

Jeff: Yes, I do have to give them credit, but have you noticed that after it's all said and done, Twisted Circle will walk out champions?

Tim: No.

[Chris is on the top rope and looks to do a moonsault on Gavin, while Spike is on the top with the chair looking to do a leg drop or splash on Ethan, but Ethan, still in pain, manages to get up, stumbles over and crotches Chris. Then Gavin gets up and crotches the shocked Spike. Gavin then sets up Spike in a top rope hurracanrana position while Ethan looks to hit a reverse hurracanrana on Chris in the cornert. Chris hits a few elbows on Ethan, stunning him, then goes for a snapmare to the outside, Ethan doesn't buy into it, and locks on a inverted chancery, and inverted superplexes him into the middle of the ring, hitting a 3/4 Neckbreaker in the process. Scruggs, then shakes off his pain, momentarily, to spin Thrilla perpendicular to Gavin and Spike. Gavin, the jumps up and does a superhurricanrana, but instead of trying to drill Spike's head into the ground, he launches him Scruggs' way. Scruggs looks surprised, but catches Spike, JUST, before powerbombing him awkwardly with a fallback, sit down powerbomb onto the body of Thrilla. The crowd instantly burst into a "HO-LY-FUCK" chant.]

Tim: Did I just see that?

Jeff: Holy fuck.

Tim: Was that just a top rope version of the Final Option?

Jeff: Holy fuck.

Tim: How the hell, after all that's happened, how the hell did Ethan catch a flying human being?

Jeff: Holy fuck.

Tim: Holy fuck.

Jeff: And If we say fuck, one more time, there'll be 46 fucks in this fucked up rhyme.

[Coens crawls over to the mass of bodies, and pulls Spike off his partner, he then goes to pin Thrilla.]

[One... ....Two.... .....THREE!!]

Jeff: As I predicted, the first pinfall, goes to Twisted Circle!!

Nigel Rolston: And the winner, of the first pinfall, out of 3, goes to Twisted Circle.

[Scruggs then quickly goes to cover Spike...as referee Rich Michaels dives back down to administer the count.]

[One... ...Two... ...Thre..KICKOUT!!] Jeff: Holy fuck, how'd he kick out of that?

[Scruggs looks extremely pissed, and bursts up in a fit of rage. Scruggs, lays in another quick kick to make sure Spike ain't getting up again. He then motions to Coens, for the "Game Over". Chris is up on Gavins shoulders, ready for the electic chair, Ethan starts to turn ready to catch it in a stunner, as Spike gets up, Coens staggers a bit to get it positioned, as Ethan's doesn't see a Spike standing side kick and takes it in the face. Chris flips backwards and behind Gavin, landing on his feet then low blows him, grabs his left arm, hooks it, then pulls his chin back and Chris hits his Game Over. Spike then takes Scruggs and throws him outside.]

Tim: Game Over!

Jeff: From a Game Over attempt, oh my, these wrestlers should get creative with their move names, two peeps with the Game Over?! Pff, Thrilla should change his.

[As Spike hits the floor, Scruggs hits him with a heart punch, momentarily stunning Spike. He then takes a breather, and hits a quick backfist to the face, followed by a neckbreaker, as Spike rolls around in pain. Scruggs, then slowly, hops up to the apron, and grabs the back of Chris' short hair, and yanks him to the ground. Coens manages to get back up, after all the punishment he's taken, and gets Thrilla up to a standing position. He then suplexes him up to the top rope. And takes a breather, as Scruggs lays in a few kidney blows to keep him up there, Coens, hops to the apron on the same side as Scruggs, but climbs up the turnbuckle on the side, and positions Thrilla in a double arm bar hold. Coens then shouts out to Scruggs.]

Gavin Coens: Put your damn knee out!

[Scruggs looks surprised, but then smiles at the possiblity. He drops down on a knee, and keeps his other knee out in the open, as Coens drops foward, with a double arm bar forward russian legsweet, from the top turnbuckle, to the outside, via Scruggs' knee. Thrilla's unprotected face bounces nastilly off Scruggs' knee, as Coens falls face first onto the floor, almost as hut as Thrilla would of been. Scruggs too, is hurt, as he grasps his knee, and falls awkwardly to the floor. While the seemingly quiet Valerie, even looks in pain from the site of that.]

Jeff: One word...

Tim: ...crazy.

[Coens or Scruggs don't even go for the pinfall, as they and Thrilla are all in pain on the apron, as the crowd is popping as loud as they ever have. Spike has got up from Scrugg's combo, and limps across to the car wreck. He picks up the sore kneed Scruggs, and locks in a full nelson. He then hoists him up and atomic drops him onto Coens, in an awkward looking move. And goes for a pin, on Scruggs.]

[One... ...Two... Thre........KICKOUT!!]

Jeff: I'll have to admit, I'll remember this match forever. Why don't they just finish it up?!

[Thrilla, suffering from what looks like to be a broken nose, gets up and staggers around, lookin' spaced out. Spike picks up Coens, who is lying face up, and does a wheelbarrow pick up, too a horizontal stall ready for a inverted powerbomb. Chris then shakes his head, and yells in agony, before grabbing Coens' head in a front chancery. They then both twist and tork around hitting their new finisher, the "Thrilling Finish". Spike turns and holds Ethan down, while Chris goes for the pin.]

[One... ...Two.... ....THREE!!]

Tim: Phew, that's two falls down. Tied 1-1, whoever gets the next fall wins.

Nigel Rolston: And the winners, of the second fall, Teeeeeeeeen Angst! The match is now tied one a piece, whoever gets the next fall wins the match!!

[Spike picks up Scruggs, and rolls him in, as Chris manages to hoist Coens up and rolls him in too. Spike rolls in as Chris goes into their big dumpster full of stuff and pulls out a long strip of sandpaper, a coal miners glove, a tank of gasoline and a lighter. Chris, throws them in, and rolls in, before picking them up and takes Scruggs into a corner and Spike takes Coens into the opposite corner. Chris wraps the strip of sandpaper around his hand three or four times, Spike puts on the glove, soaks it in gasoline and lights it on fire. Both take turns knife edge chopping their opponents as though they were competing to see who can injure the other's opponent the most. Ethan falls to the mat clutching his chapped and bleeding skin and Spike does a testicular claw on Coens who falls down to his knees then his face immediately after the maneuver. Spike rips the glove off his hand and shakes it, trying to rid himself of the burning sensation while the crowd starts a "H-W-F" chant in respect to what they just saw.]

Jeff: HOLY FUCK!

Tim: Yeah, but Spike can't get the flames off his hands, it's burnt right through.

[Spike, runs around shaking his hand, trying to put the fire out, as you can hear him say to Chris "We'll have to stomp it out", unfortunately, without thinkin' too long, Spike puts his hand on the ground, so Chris can stomp it out, he does, very forcefully, yet accidentently, but puts out the flames. Spike screams in pain, as you could almost head bones break, although none did.]

Jeff: Ok, that was stupid, bit of a show of inexperience again.

Tim: Oh my, that was funny.

[Thrilla shakes his head in dissapointment, and turns around to Scruggs, to dish out some more punishment. He limps across to Scruggs who is halfway up, and locks him in a standing head scissors. He tries to powerbomb him, once, no go, twice, no go, and on the third, he gets him up, but isn't strong enough, and stumbles forward as if purposly going for a running powerbomb, Ethan rides it, right up to the ropes, and hurricanranas Thrilla to the outside, as he tumbles over the rope landing on the apron, then the ground, and not softly either. Coens' is still looking at his red raw chest, and is suddenly overcome by rage it seems, as he charges the sore-handed Spike and goes to tackle him tto the outside, as the ref accidently walks in the road and Coens tackles them both to the outside, falling hardly aswell. Scruggs slowly gets up, to the applauding crowd, and rolls in to the ring, instantly laying on his back, stretched out, counting the lights on the cieling, but mostly, taking a breather.]

Tim: Nice set of play there. Ref's down though, he looks out of it.

[Suddenly "Walk" by Kilgore begins to play and the crowd gets up on their feet for Zakin. Zakin slowly comes out from the back with a garbage can full of weapons. Finally, Zakin grabs the entire thing and hauls ass toward the ring. Zakin tosses the can in and wooden chairs come pouring out. There is also a wooden chair wrapped in barbwire and a singapore cain wrapped in barbwire. Zakin slides in and grabs a wooden chair.]

Jeff: Holy fuck, watch out Scruggs, watch out, he wants revenge!!

Tim: *cough*MARK*cough*

Jeff: Um, I'd prefer Jeff, no-one calls me Mark anymore.

[Zakin winds up as Scruggs gets to his feet and smashes the chair into pieces over Scruggs's head. Crowd gives Zakin a large pop. Zakin grabs another wooden chair and lifts it high in the air. Gavin rolls in and is creeping up behind him. Gavin tries a lariat to the back of Zakin's head, but Zakin ducks. Zakin kicks Gavin in the gut and delivers The Inside Edition onto the wooden chair! Spike is up and has rolled in with a smile on his face, but still a little weary, and isn't fully up yet. Zakin grabs the third wooden chair and lifts it high just like the other one. Zakin runs towards the ropes, jumps on the third one, jumps off with the chair to his chest, and delivers the Insider Splash to Spike! Crowd is going absolutely wild at this point. Yet some are booing him for ruining one of the best matches they've seen.]

Tim: This is uncalled for. Even I don't like to see this.

[Zakin rolls around on the ground holding his ribs but quickly gets up. He stumbles across to the ropes, and takes a breather, he then stumbles back across and picks up the Barbwire chair, and holds it high to the air. He walks to the four corners of the ring, and holds it up to the crowds delight, he then turns, face to face with a pissed of Scruggs who has gotten up. He kicks Zakin in the gut, Zakin drops the chair, and Scruggs hops up and delivers a fatal rocker dropper to Zakin face first onto the barbwire chair. Zakin rolls around in agony as the chair stays attached to his face. Scruggs proceeds to mouth off at the fallen Zakin, yelling and screaming, and pointing, givin' him a nice verbal slugging. He then reels back, and kicks the chair off his face, peeling skin from bone, as Zakin continues to roll in pain, then rolls to the outside. Thrilla and Spike have both managed to get to their feet, and have snuck up behind the cocky Scruggs, they then slide the barbwire kendo stick that Zakin brought to the ring, between Scruggs legs, and then sweep them back away from him, causing him to land chest first on the stick. Valerie starts screaming like mad as Coens sneaks up on Spike.]

Jeff: Hmmm, alot of sneaking up behind people tonight, but I'm not complaining, go Coens go!!

[Spike turns around to cop a punch, then another to the face, then gets whipped to the ropes. He reverses it, and follows up clotheslining Coens to the outside. Thrilla on the other hand, has rolled out, and is fastly approaching Valerie.]

Tim: What?!

Jeff: NO!! Not Valerie, anything, nooo!!

Tim: She might get her clothes ripped off, this is bad!

Jeff: YES!! Valerie, get Valerie!!

[Thrilla's got Valerie, and drags her into the ring. Thrilla picks Valerie up, and grabs her tight ass nice, he then forces her down on her hands and knees, to the delight of the horny crowd. Valerie panics, and low blows him majorly, with a swift uppercut to the family jewels. Valerie then gets up drops Thrilla down with her patented "34 Double DDT", before getting up and straighening her dress up, before ellegantly stepping through the ropes like nothing has happened.]

Jeff: I think I just saw the full moon.

[Scruggs scrambles across to Thrilla, the kendo stick falling out of his chest and chucks an arm over him, but the ref is still down, but getting up. He rolls into the ring, and goes for the pin.]

[One... ...Two... ...Th...KICKOUT!!] [Spike who has forgotten about the action behind him, and is too busy trying to get the tack out of his head, turns around to witness the near three count. He walks over, and picks the Barbwire Kendo stick up, he then twirls it around as Scruggs gets up. Scruggs sees Spike coming, as Spike swings a big hellicopter blade type swing. Scruggs ducks it and stands up, as Spike spins around 180 degrees with the momentum behind him, he doens't go no further however, as upon hitting the 180 degree mark he accidentely hits Scruggs who's just got up. Spike drops the stick, and staggers around, as if he's dizzy, then slumps down for the cover.]

[One... ...Two... ...THREE!!]

Jeff: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tim: WOW! What a match!

Nigel Rolston: And your winner, and new HWF Tag Team Champions, Teeeee...

[Nigel is cut off by the words "No, No, No!" as HWF Commissioner, Shawn Collins comes from the back, with the mic, still uttering "No, No, No!" He then pauses, and continues.]

Triple C: Teen Angst, I'd firstly like to congratulate you on that extremely close victory, but then I'd like to congratulate you guys again, for being too stupid to remember a few days ago. You guys quit, remember? So you were taken off the roster, this match didn't even officially take place.

[Thrilla has managed to to lie across the ropes, face to face with Collins, and starts bagging him from the ring.]

Triple C: No! Don't get mad with moi. It's not my fault, you guys quit, I have to strip you of the titles. And if no-one believes me, take a look at this...

[Collins, spins around while motioning to the HWF-Tron. It shows Teen Angst in a dispute with Drake, and quitting on the spot.]

Triple C: So, seeing how you quit, you're not on the roster, therefore my boy Gav and Twisted Circle, are still the HWF Tag Team Champions. Decisions reversed, and that is final!

[Collins turns, as "More Human Then Human" plays on the speakers, as Scruggs and Coens approach the winging Teen Angst from behind. Scruggs taps Spike on the back, upon turning he gets, chucked in a front chacery, then planted with "The Fatality. Chris turns around to Coens, who plants Thrilla with a wicked Fisherman's Buster, from a long stall, right on his head. Twisted Circle roll out, to the boos of the crowd, and point and dis their fallen, beaten, opponents. While smirking, and high fiving, before exiting to the back.]

Jeff: WOoooohooo!! I can dance again!

Tim: That was wrong, Teen Angst should be champs.

Jeff: Oh, but they're the rules man, they're the rules.

[Even before the much needed commercial has played "The World Is Not Enough" by Garbage hits the speakers, but no light show goes down. Michael Trey and Claire Matthews pace down to the ring and grab a microphone from ringside. They both hop up into the ring quickly. The crowd has given them a good pop so far, but Michael motions for them to quiet for a minute while he talks.]

Jeff: What's going on here?!

Michael Trey: Helllllllloooo Barrington, Illinois!

[He gets a cheap pop, with several idiotic teens cheering for their hometown. Michael smiles and waves the crowd down again.]

Michael Trey: Now, we've already seen Jack Daddy and Trevor Lasek hook it up in a regular match... we've already seen the tag title match. I'd say we've started this night off pretty damn well, wouldn't you all?!

[The crowd cheers again, starting off an "H-W-F, H-W-F" loud chant. Michael smiles.]

Michael Trey: Hell, in the next match, the Hardcore title is even up for grabs. This is one hell of a night for the HWF, I'd say. But you know what would make this thing just a little bit sweeter? Just a little bit more of a blockbuster show?

[The crowd waits anxiously for Trey to continue... hell, they're pleased as it is.]

Michael Trey: Why don't we put every MEANINGFUL title on the line tonight...

Claire Matthews: ... since we all know that the Canadian Title isn't worth SHIT...

[The crowd snickers, not wanting to laugh at the joke about the HWF, whether it's true or not... still, it draws a lot of laughs.]

Michael Trey: ... and just make this main event between Jayson Starr and I a rematch for the goddamn HWF World Title! Come on Starr, Drake, Chaz. If you guys want some ratings, this is it right here.

Claire Matthews: It's ONLY fair, guys. Why shouldn't Michael get a title rematch? [to the crowd] Don't YOU GUYS think it should be for the title?!

[As the crowd pops for the decision, the opening scraches from "Second Skin (New Flesh)" by Skinlab play. The crowd, unsure wether it's new Jayson Starr music, or what, mutter a few pops and groans, until a flashy strobe effect plays around the arena. Then as Steev lets out his big scream, Bisc Limpkit walks from the back; New Flesh, obviously his HWF Music. The crowd boos him, although he still does a pose as he loves the attention. He shakes his head at Trey, while cuttin' the music...]

Michael Trey: And what the hell do you want?

Bisc Limpkit: Trey, Trey, Trey...I hope you realize that I can make decisions around here too. Drake? Chaz? Where was my name? So, HWF Fans, do you want to see this happen?

[Crown pops for the assumption that Bisc has made the title match happen...]

Bisc Limpkit: Well, Trey-man, I'd love to do it, just for a bit of a pay back for me being a bitch, an-

Michael Trey: I don't WANT your help, Duane.

[The crowd goes into a hush, shocked that Trey would turn down the title rematch JUST because it was Bisc that was offering it. They wait for Bisc to respond...]

Bisc Limpkit: Shit Trey, why can't you use an alias?! Then when I wanted to be all serious, I could call you Paul, or Rodger, or Nigel, whatever your real name would be!

Michael Trey: Bisc, man... I've had about enough of this crap. I'm not going to accept a title shot tonight from you because you want to try and make it up to me for becoming a DICK...

[The entire crowd "oooooooooh"'s loudly.]

Michael Trey: ... I want a title shot tonight from someone else in the staff, and because I deserve it, because I've earned it.

[The crowd cheers on Trey as he waves his arms in the air. Bisc holds up his hand, palm outward, to stop Trey's little speech.]

Bisc Limpkit: Trey, 'nuff man. I know you deserve it.... It's True, Oh It's...

[Crowd burst into "It's True"]

Bisc Limpkit: [snickers] Now, I'm not coming over as well as I wanted. I want to fix our friendship, but, because I'm a dumb dick, I can't help but put wise ass cracks in everywhere, and all I'm doing is pissing you off. Trey, accept it, I want to put you in the title match, but I can't. It's not going to happen, it CANT happen.

[The crowd gets another shocked looked, expecting Bisc to make the match. They break into chants of "BULL-SHIT, BULL-SHIT". Trey paces around in the ring while Claire tries to calm him down.]

Bisc Limpkit: Oh It's true, I know.

Michael Trey: So... that's it?! I don't ever get a rematch for the title? What the fuck is THAT?!

Bisc Limpkit: I know you need that re-match, you deserve it, you never got it. But we just can't do that on Suicide man, it's bigger, it's got you in it, so it HAS to be a Pay Per View match...

[Crowd starts to liven up again.]

Bisc Limpkit: Have you checked our online card, at www.hard2thecore.com? Notice there's no Main Event... yet? Hmmm, how about I make it Trey vs. Starr for the WORLD TITLE!!!! So, fans, if you think Trey needs that title shot... gimme a "He...actually, gimme a FUCK YEAH!!"

[Crowd bursts out with a "FUCK YEAH!"]

Bisc Limpkit: Well, it might hap-

Michael Trey: It might?! Did I just hear a might in your sentence?

Bisc Limpkit: Yes you did, let me finish you impatient prick...

[Trey looks furiously at Bisc; he paces around the ring as the crowd boo's the Limp One.]

Bisc Limpkit: Ahh fuck, see... I told you, I can't help myself. I didn't mean that Trey, will you forgive me?!

[Trey just paces some more, looking at the ground, still thinking.]

Bisc Limpkit: Anyway, what I was GOING to say was... The Match: Reckless Abandon. Main event. Trey versus Starr, extravaganza to end all extravaganzas... MIGHT happen. I gotta talk to Drake. He had other ideas, but I'm sure we can slip you in. We sure as well can't... FORGET about you.

[Michael paces another minute, the crowd getting louder as they expectantly wait for his response. He comes up to the ropes facing Bisc up on the ramp and leans against them, staring Bisc straight in the eyes.]

Michael Trey: I swear, Bisc... if I get fucking screwed, I will NEVER ever forget about YOU.

[Crowd pops, and Trey continues.]

Michael Trey: You go talk to Drake, Bisc... not because you owe me... and you DO... but because I deserve this title shot. You got that?

Bisc Limpkit: Trey-man, you don't have to use your dirty, school-boy tactics on me. I know you deserve this title shot. I know lots of things. I can predict the future; call me a visionary if you will, and I predict that... when the infamous "Ludicrous" cloud passes your northern sun, your life will turn a new direction. To the top, where you belong. Now, I'm coming down to shake your hand. I'd like to be friends again, man... actually, I DEMAND we be friends...

[Bisc begins his walk down the ramp towards the ring, but Michael begins talking again before Bisc even makes it halfway.]

Michael Trey: You know what, Bisc... trust is something important to me. Once I lose trust, it takes a long fuckin' time to earn it back. Right now... you haven't even BEGUN to earn back. So as far as bein' friends goes... go to hell, Duane.

Bisc Limpkit: That's cool, brah. You know deep down, I don't mean to be a prick, it was just buisness in the SWF. You were too busy for it, I looked for greener pastures. And, being the Biscalicious Sheep I am, the HWF looked mighty juicy. Can't you respect a man's decision? This is my life; the HWF is the BEST damn fed that isn't on big TV. You'll see... in the future, we'll be drinkin' beers like before man. I'm goin' back to Drake, I'm gonna set this shit right. Anyway, I'm out... say hello to Blake for me, we gotta catch up.

[Bisc turns on his heel and walks backstage, to a wierd ovation from the crowd. Trey and Claire hesitate in the ring as the show cuts to deserved commercials.]

[Commercials]

Jeff: And we're back, and it's time for the vaunted "Scaffold" Match between Insomnia and Phoenix, this should be carnage!

Tim: That's if Insomnia even makes it out here tonight.

Jeff: Yeah you're right, let's look back at what happened...

[The scene then cuts to the footage of earlier, with the sounds of a chair shot in Insomnia's locker room. It then shows EMT's trying to fix him up, to no avail, as he just pushes them away, even managing to pull EMT, WIlly Almonte, up onto his stretcher, and delivering a pikedriver through it. He then, stumbles down the hallway, hugging the wall, as the camera's cut back to Tim and Jeff.]

Tim: That was pretty sickening, apparantly Willy, one of friends here in the HWF EMT crew, is recovering nicely in a nearby hospital, no major damage was suffered, but he won't be seen for a few weeks here on HWF TV.

Jeff: Crap, I forgot to mention, this is Hardcore Title match, and as you can see, it's not a normal Scaffold match, this one's a scaffold above the ring enterance way match. Much more dangerous, as when you fall, you land on that steel enteranceway, and it doesn't bounce much.

Tim: Anyway, let's get this match started.

["Close the Door" by Prong hits the speakers and a new found chros of cheers begins in the arena. After a few seconds, Phoenix bursts through the curtains wearing his torn black corduroy shorts and his black "Zero" t-shirt with the sleeves torn off. He slowly walks to the front of the stage, dragging the hardcore belt behind him in his right hand. He stands there for a second and the fans begin to pop even louder. As Phoenix hears this, he raises the belt in the air and then begins to climb the ladder to the scaffold. Upon reaching the top, he drops down, after checking out the selection of weapons available on the scaffold, and waits.]

Nigel Rolston: Introducing first, weighing in at 202 lbs, he's your HARDCORE champion, PHOENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX!

["Don't Go Off Wandering" by Limp Bizkit plays as the crowd boos and starts throwing things at the entrance way as they know who is coming out. The fans start cheering "ass-wipe, ass-wipe, ass-wipe" even before he comes out. Then about twenty seconds into the song Insomnia doesn't infact walk out to a thunderous jeer like he normally does. No one appears from the back as the music stops.]

Tim: I thought he may not make an appearance here tonight.

Jeff: Hmmm, he'll be here.

[Suddenly Insomnia stumbles around from the side enterance, to a huge amount of boos from the crowd, he's favoring his head, but manages to climb up the scaffold, behind Phoenix. Pheonix is standing now, awaiting the arrival from Insomnia, but the await is over, as Pheonix gets tapped on the shoulder, and turns around to a vicious haymaker from Insomnia.]

Jeff: Told you fatboy.

[Insomnia proceeds to stomp the crap out of Phoenix, who hasn't mounted any offence yet. Insomnia turns around, to the booing fans, and cuts a jesus christ pose, to even more boos. He just shruggs it off, and scratches his aching head, before turning to return to work on Phoenix. Phoenix, slowly gets up, slightly pretending to be in pain, before drop toe-holding Insomnia right on his head on the little ledge beside the scaffold. The crowd cheers for Phoenix's first move, as he gets up, and follows by dragging Insomnia up, not stoping to pose, or taunt, but continue the offence he uses best.]

Tim: Come back from Phoenix already.

[Phoenix, is standing facing a dazed Insomnia's back, he yanks back on Insomnia's hair, much like Sting does with his Scorpion Deathdrop, and pauses there to the fans delight. Insomnia uselessly tries to get Phoenix to stop the hair pulling, but after about 30 seconds of holding Insomnia there, Phoenix snaps it into a quick inverted facelock, straight into a quick lift, and plants him "Into the Ashes", right from the word go. Phoenix sits up quickly, to only scratch his head, and rotate his shoulder a bit]

Jeff: Damn, he wants this early, get up Insomnia, get up!!

Tim: Come on Phoenix, you can do it!

Jeff: If you don't shut up Tim, I'll have to do an Insomnia, and belt you 'bout the head with a Bricktionary.

[Phoenix, the picks Insomnia up, and attemps to throw Insomnia off the scaffold, but Insomnia just collapses as he's completely out of it. Phoenix has problems picking up the lifeless body, and finally gives up, instead delivering a few kicks to his head. Phoenix, stands Insomnia up, who staggers around on the spot, before attempting to clothesline him off, Insomnia basically colapses, as Phoenix misses and falls off the edge....]

Jeff: It's over!!

[....but grabs it with a hand on the way down.]

Tim: He can still get up, if he has the strength.

Jeff: Oh, but Insomnia just has to plant his foot down, so to speak.

[Phoenix, starts to strain under the pressure, then spins around enough to get both hands a grip on things. He then hoists himself over onto the top of the scaffold to the delight of the crowd. Insomnia, seems to regain some consciousness, although now bleeding, and stumbles over to the nearest weapon, a trashcan, and slams Phoenix over the head with it. He then puts the trashcan over Phoenix's head. He grabs a nearby chair, and belts Phoenix a few times with it, the ring echoing through the arena. Insomnia then staggers around a bit, before putting his head between Phoenix's legs from behind, and hoisting him up into a precarious position.]

Tim: In the words of the infamous "Mr Someone"...

Jeff: What the fuck?!

[Insomnia walks around before getting a proper grip on Phoenix, he then stops at the edge, as the crowd "ahhhhs" in anticipation as Insomnia, begins to fall back with "Trash Can" Phoenix, as they fall, Phoenix's head bounces off one of the steel support cables, and he folds up upon impact, collapsing sickeningly to the scaffold, to a chant of "H-W-F". Phoenix instantaly takes the trash can off his head, and rolls around holding his "Almost" broken neck. Insomnia sits up, with a evil grin, spread wide across his hairy mouth. He then hops up to one knee, almost confident in his actions, but forgets that he's not 100 percent, and almost falls flat on his face. He regains his composure though, and walks across to Phoenix. He grabs a nearby baseball bat, and pulls Phoenix's sore ass to his feet, before wrapping the baseball bat across his throat, and begins to choke him out.]

Tim: Phoenix could be in trouble, Insomnia is going pyscho tonight.

Jeff: He's actually NOT putting me to sleep, for once.

[They slide a bit on the scaffold, which is beginning to sway, befored Insomnia steadies, and drops Phoenix backwards with a side russian legsweep w/ baseball bat across throat. Phoenix grasps that sore neck again, as Insomnia stands up, searching around in his leather jacket pockets for something Phoenix continues to roll around in pain.]

Jeff: Okay, this could get interesting.

[Insomnia then finds what he's looking for, and holds it up for the crowd to see, before giving the crowd the finger. He then opens the little bag, and turns it upside down, as little sparking things drop to the top of the scaffold, as the crowd cheers even though it's Insomnia.]

Jeff: Okay, I officially state, that this Saturday Suicide, is getting quite "tacky".

Tim: Oh my, that is the worst thing I've ever heard.

Jeff: Well, there's been a show of tacks twice in the card.

Tim: Shuddupa your face.

[Insomnia, then picks up Phoenix, grabs him in a belly to back, and suplexes him up, switching into a powerbomb attempt, as Phoenix moves a bit and grabs a bit of Insomnia's hair, and brings Insomnia face first down into the tacks, as he lands back first onto the tacks, as tacks fly, blood spills...and a few tacks fall off the swaying scaffold. Obviously, this brings on the new crowd chant of "Holy Fuck!" "Holy Fuck!"]

Jeff: This is insane, this is hard too the f'n core! This is a wet dream cum true for me.

Tim: This is getting messy fast...

[Neither men move, they both lie in pain on the tacks. Pheonix doesn't seem as worse off though, as he's smiling, like a crazy bitch, before rolling over, a bad move infact, as he rolls face and chest first into some more tacks. He continues to roll around in the tacks, getting as many stuck to him as possible.]

Tim: What the hell?!

[Insomnia is still clutching his face, trying to get a tack out of his lip, which he does. But Phoenix is up, and the blood is trickling from all parts of his body. he doesn't look to be in pain though, almost enjoying it. He then does a big splash onto Insomnia, which looks mildly unco, and funny, as Phoenix tries to get as much height as possible, but only succedes in getting a tiny bit. You can see, as Phoenix rolls off, clutching his ribs, that the majority of tacks stuck into him have transferred into Insomnia, as Insomnia looks to be in a bit more pain now. Insomnia tries to get up, by pushing himself up with his hands, only succeding in planting tacks deep into his hands. He cringes a bit, but it seems as both Wrestlers bodies are starting to numb up from the pain as Insomnia gets to his feet. Phoenix is up too, and they eye off, as they take a neutral breather.]

Jeff: Come on you two sissies!! This is hardcore wrestling, not breath taking!

Tim: Okay, get your ass up there then, Mr Hardcore, see if you can roll around tacks, huh?!

[Insomnia then springs into a knife edge chop, with the tacks acting as his friends. Phoenix flays back, his Zero shirt, starting to rip, another chop and another, bring a visible sign of skin, which is bleeding to the surface. YOu can see Phoenix grit his teeth with everyblow, trying not to scream like a pansie girl, before he blocks an Insomnia chop. He then tries to come back with another, but Insomnia just basically drags him to the ground, and sits on Phoenix's back, with an arm bar on and starts to rub Phoenix's face into the remaining tacks, although hardly any are left.]

Tim: Oooh, Insomnia man, I don't think Phoenix really wants that tack imbedded in his head.

[In a rare show of technical wrestling, Phoenix rolls forward, turning Insomnia over, and reversing the armlock, but Insomnia rolls out and springs up as fast as he can, which is pretty slothfull as he's banged up a bit, and runs at Phoenix, who catches Insomnia offguard with a sidewalk slam, which sends Insomnia skidding to the edge of the scaffold, as it begins to sway more violently]

Jeff: Wow, it could be over finally!

[Suddenly the PA activates and "Thunder Underground" by Ozzy Ozbourne hits. Phoenix looks surprised, as Insomnia, starts to slowly get up. Phoenix peers over the edge, waiting for someone to come from the enterance. Then a man decends from the cieling, attached to a rope, and in a big black trenchcoat, this man is pretty big though. As he nears the scaffold, it's apparant that it's Renegade. Rengade hits the scaffold, and "comic book like" raises his arm, causing the trenchcoat to sway back, he undoes the cable, and smiles to the delight of the crowd. Phoenix has turned around now, and gets in a "Ready" stance.]

Tim: Oh my, yet another interference, how HWF like.

[Renegade looks at Phoenix, then fobs him off, causing Phoenix to look more surprised, Renegade then walks over to Insomnia who's now up, but out of it, and kicks him in the gut. Insomnia drops to his knees, as Renegade slaps him into a standing head scissors, and hoists him up into a powebomb. The crowd gasp, as Rengade throws Insomnia off the scaffold with a sickening powerbomb. Insomnia hits the steel enteranceway, and bounces, EMT's instantly on the scene. The crowd doesn't even applaud, they're in shock, the HWF fans are in SHOCK!]

Jeff: *gasps*

[Renegade the swings around, his trenchcoat blowing around behind him, as he grabs the mic from his pocket and puts it to his mouth, while eyeing Phoenix down.]

Renegade: Phoenix, I deserve a title shot more than that piece of broken shit down there.....let's see who's MORE hardcore....

[Phoenix then snaps, and runs at Renegade, but is easily overpowered, and hoisted up in a choke hold, before being chokeslammed off the scaffold. Phoenix hits hard, landing on his back, Renegade looks proud of his actions, as Phoenix slowly gets to his feet, some how, he collapses again, before getting up, favoring his back and stumbling backstage.]

Nigel Rolston: The referee has called this match a NO CONTEST, therefore, still Hardcore Champion, PHOENIX!!!!!!

Tim: Holy shit, Renegade's got a psycho streak in him.

Jeff: While Ring Crews clear this mess up, we better cut to a commercial.

[Commercials]

Tim: Now it's time for the match set up last week by Johnny Drake...

Jeff: That's right, MIB's are coming at'cha!!

[The lights in the arena dim somewhat and “Men In Black” by Will Smith hits the speakers. Some fans cheer a bit, but the majority of them just laugh. After a few seconds, the two men in the black cloaks and masks walk through the curtain and head towards opposite sides of the stage. The two men begin to do the Electric Slide to the music for a few seconds as the lights come back on all the way. The Men In Black look at each other and together, they walk down the ramp, hop onto the apron, and climb into the ring between the ropes. The two men walk over to the other side of the ring and then stare at the referee. They start going through the motions for YMCA to the music. The ref just looks back at them dumbfounded so one of the men stops signing and grabs the ref’s arms and starts forcing him to make the letters as well until the music slowly fades out.]

Nigel Rolston: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing... th MEEENN IINN BLAAAACCKK!!

Tim: Who ARE these guys!?!

Jeff: Well, the one on the left slightly resembles Koko B. Ware and...

Tim: ...alright, that's enough...

["Oh Hell Yeah" by H-Blockx plays over the Public Announcement system. Right before the first chorus, Blackjack steps through the curtain with his head down and a bottle of water in his right hand. He lifts his head and looks around. He pours some water on his head and then Stephanie then comes out and puts her hand in Blackjack's. The two then walk down to the ring, Blackjack taking an occasional drink of the bottle. Blackjackthen leads Stephanie to her spot on the outside and Blackjack climbs the steel steps into the ring. He stands there and raises his hands. Because of his heel status he gets booed loudly. Blackjack then walks on the apron and steps through the ring ropes. He gets in the ring and bounces off the ropes to check them out. He takes one last sip of his drink and tosses it out into the stands.]

Tim: What do ya think Jeff? You think that Blackjack and Rykopathe will be able to trust each other?

Jeff: Mmmmm... probably not...

[The lights fade out, as orange lights start to strobe through the crowd. The voice of Rykopathe mutters out "Cause I'm one step closer...", followed by One Step Closer by Linkin Park blast through the arena. J. Simon Rykopathe emerges from the back to a mix of boos and cheers. With a chair in hand, he waves off the crowd, and walks to the ring. He drops the chair at ringside and slides into the ring.]

Nigel Rolston: ...and in the opposite corner, the worst of friends, the best of enemies... BLAAACKJAACK... and J.... SIIIIMOON... RYYYYKOOOOPAATHE!!

[Cheers from the crowd as the bell sounds. Rykopathe runs to the opposite side of the ring and spears MIB #1. Blackjack and MIB #2 leave the ring as Rykopathe lays in furious rights and lefts on MIB #1.]

Tim: This one's getting started early...

[Rykopathe lifts up MIB #1 and throws him towards the near corner. Rykopathe extends his hand to Blackjack and Blackjack tags himself in. The two grabs MIB #1 and send him to the ropes. MIB #1 bounces off, and Blackjack and Rykopathe send him over with a HIGH back body drop. MIB #2 runs into the ring and gets one of the same. Blackjack quickly lifts up MIB #1 and throws him back into the ropes, as Rykopathe does the same.]

Jeff: Total domination in the early part of this match...

[Rykopathe and Blackjack connect arms and attempt a double clothesline, but both members of MIB duck sending Rykopathe and Blackjack over the top rope and to the floor.]

Tim: Whoa... qucik thinking by the Men in Black...

Jeff: *singing* Heeeere comes the Men in Black..... Galaxy defenders!!

Tim: Jeff, this is no time fo.... ah, fuck it....

[Jeff continues singing as the Men in Black do a choreographed chicken dance near the side of the ring. The fans laugh a little, as they finish their dances and grab onto the ropes. Blackjack and Rykopathe get up and the Men in Black both dive onto them with slingshot body presses.]

Jeff: Oh yeah!! A little dance, followed by a pair of Slingshot Body Presses!!

Tim: Who do these guys think they are!?!

[The Men in Black get up and slap five. From there, they slide back into the ring and start parading around in victory. They start dancing again as Rykopathe and Blackjack slide into the ring. The Men in Black turn around and run at them, but both get kicked in the stomach. rykopathe lifts up MIB #1 into a fireman's carry as Blackjack lifts up MIB #2 in a suplex. In stereo, Rykopathe swings the fireman's carry into a DDT as Blackjack drops MIB #2 with a brainbuster. The fans pop as Blackjack goes for a cover.]

Tim: Blackout and a Brainbuster!!

[One... ...Two... .....Thr...KICKOUT!!]

Jeff: Whew... close one... c'mon MIB's!!

[The ref forces Rykopathe and MIB #1 out of the ring, as Blackjack picks up MIB #2. Blackjack lays in a few chops and then brings him down with a DDT. Blackjack quickly gets up and runs to a neutral corner MIB #2 gets up and crotches him as he tries to climb the ropes. MIB #2 goes for a superplex, but Blackjack doesn't go over. Instead, he punches MIB #2 in the stomach a couple of times and then slams him down to the mat with a release front suplex. More cheers from the fans, even though it's Blackjack.]

Tim: Oh my god!

Jeff: Super Gourdbuster by Blackjack!!

[Blackjack stands up on the top rope and waits for MIB #2 to roll over. When he does, Blackjack dives off and plants an elbow drop right across his neck. He goes for the pin.]

Jeff: Elbow Drop from the Top Rope!!

[One... ...Two.. Thre...KICKOUT!!]

Tim: Man, Blackjack really wants this win...

[Blackjack gets up and offers a tag to Rykopathe. Rykopathe reaches out, but MIB #1 runs in and tackles Blackjack from behind. The ref forces MIB #1 out of the ring, as MIB #2 picks up Blackjack and punches him in the stomach. From there, MIB #2 lifts up Blackjack in an Argentine Backbreaker Rack and forces him down to the mat with a DDT.]

Jeff: MY GOD!!

Tim: What the fu... who is that man!?!

[MIB #2 rolls over to the corner to try and tag in MIB #1, but MIB #1 shakes his head and points to his back. MIB #2 nods and then picks up Blackjack. He picks him up into tombstone position and then drops Blackjack to the mat with a modified tombstone piledriver. He goes for the pin.]

[One... ....Two... ...KICKOUT!!]

Tim: No... Two-Count!!

[MIB #2 stands up and grabs one of Blackjack's legs, and puts him in a step over toe hold. MIB #2 lays across Blackjack's back, as if going for an STF, but tries something different then a crossface. Blackjack riggles free though, and rolls to the side still with his leg hooked. MIB #2 is now on his stomach. Blackjack forces MIB #2's other leg around... and amazingly HOOKS ON BLACKJACK 21!!]

Tim: There it is... BLACKJACK 21 ON ONE OF THE MEN IN BLACK!!

Jeff: No, c'mon Man in Black!!

[Rykopathe starts reaching for a tag, but Blackjack shakes his head. Rykopathe starts yelling something at him as the ref checks on MIB #2. Blackjack shakes his head no again.]

Jeff: What's Rykopathe doing!?!

[Rykopathe stretches out even more and is now yelling at the top of his lungs. Blackjack finally, releuctantly, releases the hold and tags Rykopathe in. Rykopathe runs in like fist of flames, but gets drop toe holded by MIB #2 on the ground. MIB #1 dives into the ring and both members of MIB dive onto Rykopathe. The ref goes for the cove,r Blackjack doesn't see it.]

Jeff: What the hell!?!

[One.. ...Two... ...THREE!!]

Tim: THEY WON!?!

[The bell sounds as both members of MIB slide out of the ring and start running to the top of the rampway. Blackjack looks into the ring gets a pissed off look on his face. He steps into the ring and pulls Rykopathe to his feet. the two start arguing with each other as "Men in Black" by Will Smith echoes throughout the arena. The Men in Black are going crazy. One of them is doing cartwheels around the entranceway, while the other is dancing and doing such classic moves as the cabbage patch, the robot, and the hammer dance. Jeff is laughing his ass off.]

Tim: Rykopathe must have been caught off guard...

[Blackjack flips off Rykopathe and then heads back towards the locker room, which send both members of MIB to the back as well. Rykopathe is now alone in the ring... but suddenly a man appears behind him.]

Tim: Who's that!?!

[The man is wearing a Brooks Bro suit and has a Title Belt in his hand. You cannot see his face. Rykopathe slowly turns around and the man clocks him with the belt right between the eyes.]

Jeff: Oh yes!!

[The man stands up and gives the camera a glance. It's... it's...]

Tim: It's SILKY PALMS!! And he has the SWF World Title Belt!!

Jeff: He still works here!?!

[Silky looks down at Ryker and spits on him. He then slides out of the ring and starts making his way through the crowd with his belt. The fans give him a mixed reaction as the camera cuts to Tim and Jeff.]

Tim: We haven't seen Silky since September or October... when he had to leave due to medical problems...

Jeff: Well, I guess he's back!

Tim: Well... just like Silky, we'll be right back... stay with us folks...

[Commercials]

[As the camera fades in, a HUGE explosion is set off at the entranceway as strobe lights cut on and an instrumental of Limp Bizkit's "Rollin" blasts throughout the arena. The lights dim down, with a little bit of light still left, enough to see the entranceway down to the ring. "The Hardcore Hero" Jayson Starr comes out of the back with his black shades and leather jacket on and looks around as the crowd cheers. He turns towards the ring, then starts walking towards it. Jayson slaps two or three hands on the way to the ring. He gets to the ring, slides in, and starts walking around the ring some, looking at the seemingly endless sea of screaming fans. Jayson makes his way to the center of the ring, then raises both fists into the air, as four red rockets shoot up from behind him, alternating from left to right, then back again. The lights slowly come back on, and the music dies down to nothing.]

Tim: It looks like we're ready for our main event...

Jeff: ...which means GO HOME!

Tim: Huh!?!

Jeff: Both Trey and Starr suck... I remember back in the day when main events meant something.

Tim: Alright, let's not get into that again...

Nigel Rolston: Introducing first, HWF World Champion... The HARDCORE HEEEROO.... JAAAYSON STAAAAAAARR!!!

Tim: Fans, a small note... this match WILL NOT be a mirror death match. Apparently, the building has some sort of blood code...

Jeff: Man... that sucks, the only thing these tow are good for is bleeding...

[On the HWF-tron, the screen begins to slowly strobe white light. Within a few seconds, the words "REINVENT YOURSELF" flash up on the screen and strobe for a moment before fading. A few opening notes sound in the arena quietly in the darkness. A HUGE explosion rocks the place as the music hits the first beat of "What's My Name" by DMX. Dark red, silver, and gold laser lights flicker all over the place as some slight fog fills the entrance. As the music hits individual words with the 3 heavy beats, the lasers seem to pulse in rythm as well as video clips of Michael on the HWF-tron. It's like they're beating along with the music as Michael Trey comes out with Claire Matthews and Blake Frost, screaming the words along to the music and slapping fans' hands.]

Nigel Rolston: And former HWF World Champion... Accompanied by Blake Frost and Claire Matthews... This is... MIIIICAHEEL TREEEEEYYY!!

[Ding, ding, ding]

Tim: Let's get this underway...

[Trey runs at Starr and the two lock up. Trey forces Starr into the corner and lays in a few chops. Starr comes back with a few chops of his own. Trey plants a kick and then irish whips Starr into the opposite turnbuckles. Starr stumbles out and Trey plants a standing side kick on him. Starr drops to the ground and Trey goes for a quick pin.]

Tim: Malicious Intent... could that be it?

[One... ...Two... ..KICKOUT!!]

Jeff: NO!!

Tim: Folks, we'd like to remind you that this match is non-title...

[Trey pops up to his feet and pulls up Starr. He slaps on a standing head scissors and then lifts him up into a piledriver. Trey pauses for a moment and then spins, driving down Starr's head with a spinning piledriver.]

Tim: Now that's a Piledriver...

[The crowd lets out a gasp in unison, as Starr remarkably gets right up to his feet. He kicks Trey in the stomach and slaps on a standing head scissors of his own. He grabs Trey by the waist and lifts him up. He holds Trey vertical for a few seconds and then drops down to the mat, with a crooked almost purposfully-boched piledriver. another gasp from the crowd.]

Jeff: Now THAT's a Piledriver...

Tim: Third Impact!!

[Starr gets to his feet and leans back against the ropes. From the back, comes running Extream and Kyle Corman, both holding black steel chairs. Behind them is Gavin Coens and Shawn Collins. Collins waits at the top of the ramp, as Gavin drags a ladder to the ring. Referee Michael Physema tries to stop Corman and Extream, but both men slide into the ring and sandwich him with steel chairs.]

Tim: NO!! Not M. Physema!!

[Jeff starts laughing his ass off as Extream and Jayson go on the attack with steel chairs. Gavin sets up the ladder next to the ring and starts scaling it. Extream and Corman throw the chairs to the outside and then pick up Trey. They double powerbomb Trey near the corner of the ring, as Gavin gets to the top of the ladder. All focus is on Coens, who dives off 15 feet and lands with a guillotine legdrop on the World Champion.]

Jeff: HOLY SHIT!!

Tim: What is the Outlawed Generation doing out here!?!

Jeff: I don't know, but Coens is a maniac!!

[Gavin slowly rolls out of the ring as Extream and Corman grab the ref and try to wake him up. Gavin tips the ladder over, but leaves it at ringside. Extream and Corman eventually make it to the top of the ramp, where they meet Coens and Collins. They four men raise their arms in the air, as Johnny Drake walks out in a Gore 2000 t-shirt and taps Collins on the back.]

Tim: Uh oh... here comes the Prez...

Jeff: So what!?!

[Collins, Coens, and Corman begin pleading their case with Drake, as he starts yelling and pointing down at the ring. Extream keeps raising his arms in the ring. Johnny angerly taps his shoulder and Extream turns around. the fans cheer as Johnny start arguing with Extream.]

Tim: Extream better be careful...

Jeff: No, Johnny Drake better be careful...

[Extream takes a look at Drake and then delivers a standing side kick right to the side of his head. The crowd boo's tremendously.]

Jeff: Extreme Kick on Drake!! OH YEAH!!

Tim: That's horrible...

[Coens, Collins, and Corman pull Extream away and into the back; as Drake slowly rolls around holding his jaw. The camera goes back to the ring, where both men have gotten up and are brawling back and forth. The ref is now up alos, and is stumbling around the ring slowly.]

Tim: All three of these men are out of it...

[Trey pushes Starr, and he returns the favor. The two men start trading blows while the referee tries to break them both up. Jayson goes for an Irish whip on Trey, but its reverse and Starr collides with the referee.]

Tim: No... not again Physema!!

[As Jayson turns around, Trey kicks him in the stomach and hooks both his arms before dropping down into his "Flash of Pain" double-arm DDT.]

Tim: Flash of Pain!! Flash of Pain!! It's over! Trey's going to beat Jayson!

Jeff: Nooooo!!

[Trey rolls Jayson over and makes a cover. Unfortunatly, the referee is still knocked out from before. Trey breaks the cover and walks over to try and revive the ref as the camera quickly switches to show the crowd. A man in a black ski mask, the same man from last week, makes his way through the seething crowd of fans. A lead pipe is in his hands. The man jumps the guardrail and unseen slides into the ring. He yells something to Trey, who turns around and is smacked in the face with the lead pipe. Trey falls down like a sack of potatoes. Jayson looks at Trey for a second, not seeing the masekd man, and then covers him. Just as the referee gets to his feet, the masked man slides out of the ring and jumps the guardrail again. The referee looks around, stunned, before seeing Jayson covering Trey.]

Tim: Don't tell me thsat Jayson will win like this! He didn't even see what happened!!

Jeff: He didn't see it! But a win is a win, and he knows that Trey's hurt!

[One... ...Two... .....THREE!!]

[The bell rings and the referee raises Jayson's hand in victory. Jayson, still a little bit groggy from the Flash of Pain, glances at Trey before accepting the fact that he won and raising his hands to cheers from the crowd. Trey stares angrily at Jayson for a second, and then he rolls out of the ring. Drake is now up on his feet and is trying to gain his composure.]

Tim: Jayson Starr has beaten Michael Trey... with help from the masked man!

Jeff: Well, if I had to choose one over the other, I would have chose Jayson...

[Michael Trey walks past Johnny Drake and gives him a pissed off look. Jayson's music is playing but Drake signals it to stop. Drake reaches into one of his pockets and pulls out a mic. Jayson and the rest of the crowd watches him, as he begins to talk.]

Johnny Drake: Now, before I start... with.. this annoucement... EXTREAM!! Your ass is dead... you and your Outlawed Generation are gonna feel the effects of your attack...

[The fans cheer a little. The camera gets a close up on Drake, who is bleeding from the mouth.]

Johnny Drake: Now... as I was saying, there are two important card changes for this Sunday on Pay-Per-View. Firstly, Teen Angst... since you're still with us in the fed, I have a little surprise for you. You see, the HWF has just recruited a new promising tag team named The Anarchs... and they will be debuting at Reckless Behavior...

[Cheers from the crowd.]

Johnny Drake: ...and guess who they will be fighting?

[The fans cheer once again.]

Johnny Drake: That's right... you can check HWF-Online for furthur details. Right now, I have something more important to focus on. YOU!!

[Johnny points to ringside, near the guardrail; where the masked man is still crouched down. The masked man stands up and points to himself.]

Johnny Drake: Yeah, you... get in the ring!

[The masked man catiously hops the guardrail again and slides into the ring. Jayson is on guard in the corner, as both men face Johnny Drake.]

Johnny Drake: Now, you've caused this fed more problems in the past few weeks than most wrestlers cause us their entire careers. What's motivating you, man? Why do you keep it up?

[The masked man offers no response.]

Johnny Drake: Do you think you're above the rules, above the laws?

[The man shruggs his shoulders.]

Johnny Drake: Oh, I guess you just want to make up your own rules, and punish people your own ways right?

[The man shruggs his shoulders again. Drake looks impatient.]

Johnny Drake: Well, guess what? Since you feel like running the show so much, why don't you take part in Sunday's Main Event?

[The crowd cheers.]

Johnny Drake: Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that... we've never even announced this Sunday's main event... have we?

[The crowd cheers some more. They start chanting for various superstars' names.]

Johnny Drake: Well, let's just say that you Jayson Starr will be facing one of the men in the Final Solution Match at Born 2 Bleed. You will be facing one of the men who has been in this federation since it' beginning. A man who defines the words extreme, the word hardcore... you will be facing...

[Another dramatic pause]

Johnny Drake: ....Blackjack!!

[a mixed reaction from the crowd, as Jayson smiles to himself.]

Johnny Drake: But that's not all... Guess what Masked Man!?! You're the Guest Referee!!

[Bigger cheers now, everyone focuses their attention on the masked man. Johnny drops the mic as Tim and Jeff chime back in.]

Tim: So...whoever that mystery man is, HE'S the special guest referee at Reckless Behavior?

Jeff: That's what the man, Johnny Drake, said. And what he says goes!

Tim: Could you be anymore of a suckup than you are now?

Jeff: Suckup? Me? Naw!

Tim: Right...well let's find out just who IS behind the ski mask.

[The man in the ski mask looks at Jayson, then towards Drake on the ramp. A ring announcer brings him a microphone and the man begins to speak.]

Mystery Man: Isn't that a surprise? Little old me gets to be the special guest referee at Reckless Behavior. Now just one question remains: Who is the man under the mask..

Tim: Yeah we know, that's what we're waiting for!

Jeff: Hey let the man speak.

Mystery Man: I should let all of you wonder who the hell I am until Reckless Behavior. But instead...I'll give you all the moment you've been waiting for. Since I showed up on the scene last week, everyone's been asking "Who's the guy under the ski mask?" Well, you're about to find out. HWF, look again upon greatness!

[He drops the mic and as he starts to take off the mask a very familiar music starts to play over the P.A. system. A roaring cheer comes from the crowd as they recognize the song, and for a second the man hesitates to remove the black ski mask.]

Tim: OH MY GOD!! You've got to be kidding me!! Jeff, you know what that song means, right?

Jeff [marking out]: YES!!! I've waited forever and a day for this moment!!

[The mystery man smiles deviously and again starts to take off his mask. We now recognize the music being played: "Rock You Like a Hurricane". As the black mask falls to the floor, another deafening cheer comes from the crowd, as the mystery man is none other than former HWF champion, Lance Sterling!]

Tim: LANCE STERLING IS BACK!!! Sterling's back!! I can't believe it!!

Jeff: Finally!! The Greatest has come back to the HWF! And on top of that, HE'S GONNA BE THE GUEST REFEREE AT RECKLESS BEHAVIOR!

Tim: What will this mean?!? Where does Sterling stand in all this?!? For that matter, what about Trey!?! Remember what Bisc told him!?! Whatever the case may be, it's official that Lance Sterling is the referee at Reckless Behavior... What does it all mean??

[Lance Sterling stands silently in the ring, relishing in the cheers that resound throughout the arena. Very slowly he climbs to the top turnbuckle and raises both hands in the air while at the same time yelling out his trademark "I am the greatest!" catchphrase. A shower of pyro explodes above the ring and silver glitter floats down to cover the crowd. Sterling proceeds to climb each remaining turnbuckle, again raising his arms in the air and yelling out his catchphrase. The camera switches to a closeup of Jayson Starr's face, then to Johnny Drake who is smiling from the ramp, and finally to Lance Sterling before slowly fading to black.]