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April 14th, 2001

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[6:58 pm | The Hana-Haku Memorial Park, Osaka Japan]

[The cameras switch to show the Hana-Haku Memorial Park's parking lot. A black, expensive-looking car drives up and slows down, finding a parking spot right in front. A sign that reads "RESERVED PARKING: Johnny Drake" in Kanji, with English translation beneath it, gives the slighest hint as to who the driver of the vehicle is.]

Tim: *from ringside* The President of the HWF is here!

Jeff: *from ringside* Big fat deal.

Tim: Hey, show respect. He's your boss.

Jeff: Oh, right. Umm... ALL HAIL JOHNNY DRAKE, WHO HAS GRACED US WITH HIS IMPERIAL, MAJESTIC PRESCENCE! How's that?

Tim: A bit overdone... but.. ah forget it. Johnny Drake has just arrived, an-

[HONK-HONK-HONK]

Tim: What the hell!?!

[Suddenly, the cameras show coming from around a corner, a forklift! The camera zoom in on the windshield of the black car to see Drake's face of shock and horror as he sits behind the wheel. It zooms back out to show everything. Before he has time to get out the car, the prongs on the front of the forklift SMASH through the windshield of the car!]

Tim: OH MY FUCKING GOD!!

Jeff: President Johnny Drake just got brutally murdered in front of our very eyes by a god damn forklift!

[The forklift pushes in further, pushing the prongs in as far as they can go.]

Tim: Whoever's in that forklift should be thrown in jail!

[A whirring sound is heard, as now the prongs start to RAISE up, lifting the car into the air. They go as far up as possible, having the car dangling in mid-air. The whirring then suddenly stops, and the engine to the forklift cuts off. The camera slowly pans back, just as it shows the driver of the vehicle stepping out of the forklift.]

Jeff: Hey!!

[The camera goes up to their face, as he stands there with a nasty sneer on his face.]

Tim: It's Jayson Starr!! That's fucking Jayson Starr!! He just killed Drake!!

[Jayson holds up the keys to the forklift, then throws them across the lot. They land, and fall into a gutter, going straight into the sewers. He looks up to the car, as it sits there, hanging in mid-air, and smirks.]

Jayson: Now you sit there, and you think about what you did. And you can't come down until you've learned your lesson.

[He turns and looks at the camera, smirks, then walks off-screen.]

Jeff: What the hell?? Well, I guess payback's a bitch when you screw Jayson outta the World Title...

Tim: Are you NUTS?! Jayson just commited murder!!

Jeff: Eh, that's the way the cookie cru...

Tim: Oh shut the HELL up! We'll be right back folks!

[The camera pans back up to the car as it dangles, then the scene fades into commercial.]

[Commercials]

Tim: Good sweet... just before the break, Jayson Starr tried to KILL President Johnny Drake with a.. A FORKLIFT! Luckily, security was able to bring Drake's car down, and luckily he was unharmed. I hope Drake presses charges and throws Starr in jail!

Jeff: Oh shut up! Drake deserves to die for what he's done to Starr and Sterling!

Tim: I'll tell him you said that..

Jeff: *meekly* I'm sorry.

Tim: That's better... Anyway fans, we still have a show to put on, so let's get started with Saturday Suicide!!

[The crowd cheers. The camera gets a shot of the park, which is outdoors. About 1,000 or 2,000 fans are seated around the ring area. A smaller version of the Extream Screen is under a makeshift entrance way. Oddly enough, concrete still lines the outside of the ring and the entrance way.]

Tim: Before we start with the matches, i'm being told we have to cut to the back.

[Throwing open a set a steel double doors Kyle Corman walks in to the arena. The crowd seeing him on the Extream Screen cheer loudly as he walks towards the ring. Some wrestlers say hi to him but he ignores them as he walks with a purpose to the ring. Walking into the dark room just behind the entrance he looks to a sound technician.]

Corman: Hit it.

[The sound technician relaying the message hits "Starseed" by OLP. Walking out from the entrance he heads down to the ring, this face remaining completely stern. Walking around the back of the ring he grabs a microphone and rolls into the ring. Looking towards the entrance he speaks.]

Corman: I've seen the attacks, and I never thought I would get hit. But I did and I'm not to f-cking happy about it. Trey, I wasn't too worried about him, he was fine. Storm, I couldn't have cared less about. But me.

[Pausing he lowers the microphone and shakes his head looking sad.]

Corman: You shouldn't have attacked me Havoc, anyone else here wouldn't have noticed but me, next time you throw a punch like that you better hit it on someone who doesn't know your style.

Tim: Who the hell is Havoc?

Jeff: What like I'm supposed to know? Maybe he got hit too hard last night and is delusional.

Corman: Don't make me come back their Havoc, I'm not leavening until you face me. Without the mask.

[Pacing back and forth he waits.]

Tim: Havoc? Havoc is doing these attacks? What the hell is going on?

Jeff: Like I know?

Corman: COME ON DAMN IT. HAVOC GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!!!

["Dragula" by Rob Zombie hits as Mayhem walks out from the entrance much to everyone's surprise. His mask off the look on his face is the same confusion as the rest in the crowd.]

Tim: What the hell is happening? Mayhem's the attacker?

Jeff: Hell about time that crazy bastard got some balls

Tim: Are you kidding me? These attacks are sick.

Mayhem climbing the stairs steps over the ropes, grabbing a mic he shoots a strong look to Corman.

Mayhem: Kyle what the hell is happening?

Corman: You should know.

Mayhem: You think I'm doing these attacks? Jesus man, are you serious?

Corman: Very...

Mayhem: You think I'm Havoc? Damn man, don't you know me?

Corman: I thought I did, but after the punch you laid on me. I do know you, you love a left roundhouse.

[Mayhem stepping back chokes as he hold back a laugh as Corman stands strong.]

Tim: This is intense.

Jeff: Intense, this is fucking awesome, Mayhem finally got some balls.

Tim: I don't buy it, he's not like that, he's supposed to be some frigging vigilante or something.

Mayhem: You think I'm the guy because of a fucking left roundhouse? And they call me crazy. Dude, I didn't attack you, or Trey and Storm man. Can't say I'm not curious though but Kyle, I didn't do it. I swear.

Kyle stepping back starts to relax a little.

Corman: How am I supposed to believe this?

Mayhem: Damn buddy, for Heaven's sake I swear. I'm not the guy who jumped you.

[Corman is silent as he thinks. Mayhem walking up puts his arm around Corman.]

Mayhem: Look Kyle, I don't want this hanging over my head, and I don't like losing my friends to assholes who jump my buddies with out showing their faces. As corny as it sounds we're a team man, we'll find out who's doing this.

[Corman cracking a smile.]

Corman: Alright man.

[Mayhem smiling pats his on the shoulder as he leads Corman out.]

Tim: I didn't think Mayhem was the guy, it doesn't make sense.

[Mayhem suddenly wrapping his hand around the back of Corman's head thrusts it down hard. Corman doesn't have a chance to react as his face is smashed down on Mayhem's knee. Slamming down Corman's face several more times knocking Mayhem drops the unconscious Corman and stands up beginning to laugh uncontrollably.]

Tim: Noooo!!!

Jeff: Holy shit, he is fucking nuts!!!

[Bending over Mayhem picks up the microphone next to the bloodied Corman.]

Mayhem: Kyle, if there's one thing I've tried to teach you is trust your instincts. Hell son, I thought there'd be no doubt after my old favorite punch. I expected when I came down for you to try to kick my ass all over the ring. Hell I guess you didn't want to believe it, although it made tricking you all the more fun.

Tim: This is terrible.

Jeff: Damn, I don't get it but it's awesome.

[Mayhem leaning down picks up Corman and whips him into the corner. Mayhem climbing to the top rope hoists Corman up with him. Tucking Corman's head between his legs Mayhem throws himself back into The Career Ender, a top rope pile driver. Standing up Mayhem begins to laugh as he leaves.]

Tim: This is horrible.

[The Extream Screen flickers to on backstage. A huge smile is plastered across Mayhem's face as he walks out from the dark room, this smile is more sadistic, if there's a smile truly of that type. Passing many wrestlers in the HWF they don't say even a words to them, choosing to ignore him completely. Mayhem looking at them as chuckles at their reactions, some of them just look away, other's nearly have their jaws dropped in shock, some try to look unnerved at him, but they fail at that. However none confront him, at that thought Havoc begins to laugh. walking towards the garage he suddenly halts himself as he hears a familiar voice.]

Voice: Mayhem!!!

[Mayhem turning smiles to find himself face to face with Alexa Sages. The look on her face Mayhem notes is a number of emotions, sadness, confusion and anger.]

Alexa: Mayhem, what's going on?

[Mayhem says nothing only keeps his eyes on her and a wide smile across his face, only making Alexa feel all the more uncomfortable. Inside Mayhem is cracking up as he enjoys how much the silence unnerves her. Expecting Alexa to give up and walk away Mayhem admits shock as she repeats her question.]

Alexa: My God...Mayhem, what are you doing?

[Looking down Mayhem smiles even wider then before, if that seems possible. Looking back up to her Mayhem stares daggers into her eyes and for the first time since she's known Mayhem Alexa is truly terrified. Alexa stepping back away from Mayhem doesn't get at all far as Mayhem shoots out an arm grabbing her in a vice grip around her face. Mayhem's grasp on her face is so strong Alexa immediately gets a headache. Mayhem rearing back his hand whispers in Alexa's ear.]

Mayhem: Mayhem...is dead. I...am...Havoc.

[Pushing back his hand hard he smashes Alexa's head on the concrete wall behind her. Letting go Alexa slides unconscious down the wall, blood flowing from the back or her head and her nose. Smiling Havoc stands for a second watching her bleed, looking down at his pocket he pulls out his mask. Looking at it he spits on it and lays it down across Alexa's chest. Smiling he begins to laugh as he looks to his watch.]

Havoc: Time to get ready for my match...hehehehe. You may have faced Mayhem, Renegade, but Havoc's a whole new ball game.

Tim: This is not the way I wanted to start Suicide. [Awkward silent moment. Jeff smirks a little and glares over at Tim.]

Jeff: So, what are we waiting for?

Tim: Um, nothing I guess... Let's get started with some tournament matches.. and hopefully we'll get some help back there...

[Suddenly, Johnny Drake pops up on the Extream Screen, mush to the crowd's surprise. He looks a little shooken up from the near-death experience, and also looks pissed off. He shuffles through a few notes and then addresses the crowd.]

Johnny Drake: Well, before I figure out what to do with that damn Jayson Starr... I want to add one more match to this card.

[The crowd cheers, as the read what Drake is saying.]

Johnny Drake: Jonathan Storm, I told you I'd get you back... You think you're world title material already? Why don't you prove it? ... Tonight, actually... right now... you and Tempest... and you still have to face Silky Palms too!

[The crowd cheers as the read again, Drake finishes off.]

Johnny Drake: See you in a bit, Storm.

[As Tempest watches Drake announce her match on the monitor in her locker room, her jaw drops in amazement. Davison's eyes widen and he stands up glaring at the monitor.]

Davison: What the fuck?!

Tempest: Wha?! Dammit Drake, I didn't come prepared to wrestle! Oh...

[She gets up and paces, wringing her hands as the fringe on her beaded red top swings back and forth. Davison puts an arm around her.]

Davison: Well, you can do it. Hey, I'll be right there if you want.

Tempest (huffing): Geez I don't even have the right shoes for this. Oh well I guess he's not much better off having to wrestle twice. But I don't really wanna hurt his chances in the tournament. (sighs) I guess this is Drake's way of getting him back, but I can't figure out why he's mad at me too.

[She shakes her head as a knock comes at the door. She answers and is handed a note. After a nervous glance a Chris, she opens it slowly and reads.]

Tempest: 'This isn't over little one. Watch your back, because I may be in any dark corner waiting for you... Night Stalker'

[Tempest wadded up the note and threw it as Davison stepped forward and hugged her, whispering in her ear.]

[Commercials.]

[The lights go dim and strobe lights begin to flash as the opening string section of "Here" by VAST begins to play. As the song's heavy part begins to play, two straight shots of pyro shoot straight up, and Jonathan Storm is raised from a platform at center stage. He walks down to the ring and slides in. He arrogantly smirks and begins to hang on the ropes, a la Christian. Shawn Collins comes down the ramp to “Clubbed To Death” by Rob D after Storm. He is wearing a ref shirt.]

Tim: There’s Shawn Collins, our referee.

Jeff: The best referee!

[The low electronic hum that begins the Lo-Fideltiy All-Stars' "Battle Flag wafts over the arena as the lights go out, but for a few blue strobes, flickering over the crowd in time. As the heavier beat kicks in, the blue spot light scans the entrance, and finds Tempest walking toward the ring purposefully, with a very forced smile on her face. She waves as she strides down to the ring in her non wrestling gear, the shimmering beaded red top and crushed velvet pants in a dark red, and bare feet. She reaches the ring and bounds up the stairs in her usual fashion, stopping to stand atop the turnbuckles and wave to the crowd. She turns and shoots a warning glance in Collins' direction as she hops down and circles Storm.]

Tim: Here we go... if Storm looses, he’s out of the tournament!

[Storm charges right away. Tempest scoots from beneath an attempted clothesline and dropkicks Storm in the chest. He topples over and rises slowly with two small footprints in red on his chest. She scoots out of the ring and he follows, but not fast enough as she runs up the stairs and flips back, grabbing his head on the way down in a flying neck breaker.]

Jeff: Storm! Get up!

[As soon as Tempest gets up, Drake walks down the aisle holding a chair. Shawn looks at him and shakes his head. Gavin Coens quickly follows, and tries to take away the chair from Drake. Shawn smiles, and Phoenix runs into the ring from the crowd. Shawn sees him, and confronts him, asking him what he’s doing.]

Tim: What’s going on here?

Jeff: Beats me!

[Shawn’s back is turned from Drake and Coens. Drake takes control of the chair, walks into the ring, lifts the chair, and... LEVELS TEMPEST!]

Tim: WHAT THE HELL?!

Jeff: CONSPIRACY!

[Collins lifts Tempest, and gives her a Downtown Connection. Coens, Phoenix, Drake and Storm all stand in the ring. Storm applies the Encore Performance, and Shawn calls for the bell. Storm has won.]

Tim: I don’t get it!

Jeff: DRAKE? COLLINS? STORM, PHOENIX, COENS?!

[The match has just ended. The screwjob Collins, Storm, Coens, and Phoenix have laid onto Tempest hasn't ended though! Coens comes in and stomps on her head a few times, and Storm hasn't released The Encore Performance! He finally releases and Shawn Collins holds her down. Storm looks down at Drake...and SMILES?! He invites Johnny in, and the five men begin to shake hands and trade high-fives. Collins grabs a microphone, and begins to speak.]

Collins: Hey Tempest. How are you?

[Tempest just stares at Collins. She opens her mouth in attempt to bite Collins' wrist, but she misses as Collins quickly moves it.]

Collins: Come on, Temp. You think I'd be stupid enough to fall for that one after you pulled it on Phoenix? I mean, I know I'm irresistable...

[The crowd boos him, but some of the females in attendance can be heard screaming.]

Collins: You know, I'm sorry it had to come to this. I really am. Well... no... wait... scratch that. I hope you've learned something from all this, Tempest. Do NOT trust ANYONE! I mean, shit... your first mistake was trusting me! You think the trust you put in Michael Trey... or even Chris Davison is going to do anything for you? Let me get one thing into your skull, future Miss Davison - You cannot rely on anyone! You cant trust anyone! Under and behind and inside everything you took for granted, something horrible had been growing. Look at it Tempest! Where's Davison now? Where's Trey now? Look at this force, this unstoppable force that we've put together. Jonathan Storm, Phoenix, and Gavin Coens. These men are 'The Greatest' of the HWF. The HWF's Finest! And you are the first to fall victim. You are the first to fall prey... Prey to the hunters. And you can't do anything about it. Where is your help?

[Shawn stares deep into her eyes. A piercing gaze.]

Collins: Who can you trust?

[Collins passes the microphone to Jonathan Storm, and continues to hold down Tempest. She struggles, but to no avail.]

Jonathan Storm: A conspiracy theory larger than Watergate, Whitewater, or any other thing of that magnitude has just unfolded in front of your out of shape, retarded, foreign eyes!

[MASSIVE HEEL HEAT!]

Storm: Yeah, go on and boo me...deep down inside, you're all kissing my ass. How could you not expect things to go perfect for me? Ever since I got here, I've been flawless. What would you expect from "Pop Perfection"? I managed to get some of the finest men in the HWF's front office together with some of the finest men in the HWF's talent roster together to make a statement...and it's one you all need to hear. When you talk about this World Title tournament, you conveniently forget two people. Gavin Coens and myself. The two of us are listed TO THIS DAY on the talent charts as the respective number one and number two contenders to the World Title...but all you lousy, ungrateful fans do is cheer on Tempest and Michael Trey, two people who have NOTHING to offer you! RESPECT ME DAMMIT! I'm the man who beat "The Greatest"! I'm the man who eliminated 11 other men to become the top rookie in this company! YOU RESPECT ME! I am a multifaceted superstar who has given his heart and soul to this company! Well, none of you morons can respect that, but at least Drake and Collins can. At least Phoenix and Coens can...and that's all that matters. What you see standing before you is, simply put, the elite of the HWF. Nobody in this chain is weak. Nobody in this alliance is flawed. Nobody in this "Inner Circle" is unable to defeat anyone on any given night! Get used to this, because from here on out...EVERYTHING CHANGES! We call the shots...we run roughshod...and you can't do a damn thing about it.

[He raises his hands and passes the microphone to his stablemate, Gavin Coens.]

Gavin: If everyone can just put down their chicken fried rice for a minute and settle down. Perhaps you'd allow me to educate all of you on what exactly happened tonight. On this day, a group of men decided to take action and take the respect that they should've recieved long ago. Two years ago, I joined the HWF. Two long fucking years I was hired by Chaz Manson in hopes that I would be a star. Someone to bring in ratings for his dwindling company full of so-called superstars that we're getting stale with each passing moment. I've gone through many "gimmick" changes in my life. From Gavin = Ratings, to The Brotherhood, The Twisted Circle, and even Gavin is God. Well, the last one is not so much a gimmick as it is a fact. Never the less though, the gimmicks are over with. The constant strain of trying to live up to expectations is gone.

Gavin: A new set of rules are introduced. Now WE run the show. Storm, Phoenix, Drake, Collins, and myself. The Inner Circle. I'm done trying to explain everything to you people, you don't deserve to hear your Kami-Sama speak.

[Gavin shakes his head in disgust and just frowns towards the crowd. He hands over the microphone to Phoenix, saying, "They're not worth it".]

Phoenix: Seven long months. I have been a part of this company for seven long months. I have held the Hardcore Title longer than any other person in the history of this company and I have given you fans some of the greatest matches you have ever seen. I have been thrown through glass and light tubes, been torn apart with barbed wire, and have been set on fire and yet you people continue to boo me. You look at me, and you look at The Inner Circle with looks of hate and disgust. Yet, deep down, you know how great of an athlete I am. You love me and you love my matches. I want you to look at yourselves in the mirror and ask yourself, weren't you scared for my life when I took that fall from the ladder onto the guardrail against Michael Trey last November at Reckless Behavior? Weren't you amazed when I leapt out of the bell tower onto JD Brady at Holy Night? Don't you love these memories? Don't you love me? And yet, you continue to boo. Each and every week I'm booked I come out here and I do what I do for you people and still no one respects what I do. I broke the legend that is Michael Trey, something that no one else could do. Hell, I even came over here to this God forsaken island and put up one hell of match against Tempest last week only to get knocked out of the tournament that by all rights, I should have been able to forego to get a shot at the World Title. But no, people want to play games. People want to set traps and I want to follow them. I want to do things their way. And until this last week, I always came out on top. I always won. I overcame. Whether it was getting booked in three way dances to defend my Hardcore Title or having to team up with that cripple J. Simon Rykopathe, I succeeded. So what happens, I get stuck in a tournament against an opponent that by all rights, I shouldn't have to face this early. Hell, I know all you people out there are short, funny looking, and horrible drunken karaoke singers, but you're not stupid. Even you know I deserve better than that.

[Phoenix gets some more heel heat for his comment while Gavin slightly chuckles to himself.]

Phoenix: So I found two people who appreciated what I could do. Bisc Li and Claire Matthews respected me and they knew what I was capable of. But now, they've wanted to take a little time off from the ring, to slow things down. And while I'm still their friend, I'm back out in the land of screwjobs. I've been tossed back to the wolves to fend for myself. But once again, there were people who recognized my potential. Once again the higher ups know that I will one day become a world champion. Once again I found others who were under appreciated. I found Gavin and Storm. Two more men who haven't been given what they deserve. Two more men who should be getting treated better. We are the stepped on. We are the fallen. We are the tortured. With Drake and Collins, the two men who understand and respect us, we are the Inner Circle.

[Just as Drake takes the microphone, Chris Davison and Michael Trey run down to the ring. Gavin, Phoenix, Storm, Drake and Collins all get out of the ring. Davison is furious, and Trey just stares at the five men. Collins waves at Trey, who swears at him in return. Davison is checking up on Tempest. ]

Tim: What have we just seen here?

Jeff: I don’t know, but I like it!

[Commercials.]

[A funky wah-wah guitar rif bumps out of the PA.... The words "Sir... Psycho... Sexy!!!" flash on screen as they are anounced by a loud electronic voice, as the chorus of the Red Hot Chili Peppers song of the same name plays out. Clips of Silky lounging in bed, scantily clad women crawling all over like ferets hopped up on ecstacy... Walking out to get his mail in a gold thong... delivering his arsenal of moves on a plethora of opponents. Silky bursts through the curtain to the accompanyment of many a cat call and hollar, Sho'nuff and Big Poppa Pimp behind him... Silky does a deep double bicep pose, then continues to strut his way to the ring. When he gets close enough, he springs onto the apron, and then, using the top rope for leverage, flips over into the ring, dramatically swings his arms, spins into the center of the ring, and hits another pose to the accompanyment of a four corner-pyro-fountain. He stands and begins to slide off his jacket, revealing a mic in his hand.]

Jeff: ALRIGHT!! Silky Palms in the mother-trucking hizouse!!

Tim: Mother-trucking? Hizouse?

Jeff: Ah, I see you're not down with that street vernacular...

Tim: Obviously, you aren't either.

Jeff: *in best Scarface impression* You cock-a-roach!!

[Silky slowly raises the mic to his mouth, and cuts off Tim and Jeff.]

Silky: Konechiwa!!! Ha ha ha... ladies and gentlemen, say hello to your NEXT HWF World Champion!

[Silky gives a moment for the translator to catch up, then continues.]

Silky: Now, no disrespect to the others in this tournament... ah, who am I kiddin', the rest of you all SUCK! Heh ha ha.... But... heh... but I have to say, I have a modicum of respect for the man stepping into the ring with me tonight... as he is gonna be the first step on the ladder that finaly elevates Silky Palms to the top of this federation... the top of the friggin' WORLD! But, Jon Storm... we've met before... you've already felt the Halo Jump... I've already beaten you... but I've already beaten ninety percent of the people LEFT in this tournament, so that doesn't make you any different... But, tonight, it's you and me... let's do this!

[The lights go dim and strobe lights begin to flash as the opening string section of "Here" by VAST begins to play. As the song's heavy part begins to play, two straight shots of pyro shoot straight up, and Jonathan Storm is raised from a platform at center stage. Shawn Collins walks out to the stage and high fives Storm as he smirks from behind his sunglasses. He walks down to the ring and slides in. He arrogantly smirks and begins to hang on the ropes, a la Christian.]

Jeff: There's still something about Storm that I don't like...

Tim: Maybe because he beat your hero Lance at Seven?

Jeff: Ugh... maybe...

[The bell rings as Silky steps out to the center of the ring. Storm eyes him, as Silky throws out his hand for a handshake. Storm gives the 'are you kidding me?' look to Silky , who doesn't move an inch.]

Tim: What is Silky doing?

Jeff: Yeah, Storm probably has cooties or something...

[Storm walks out as if he's going to shake Silky's hand, but instead slaps it away. Storm gets ready to lock up, but Silky just smirks and puts out his hand again. Once again, Storm slaps it away and tries to lock up. Silky puts his hand out a third time, and Storm finally consents. As the two shake hands, Silky cries out in pain. The ref quickly steps in to check the hold. Silky gets a devilish grin on his face and plants a boot right to Storm's groin. Storm drops like a house of bricks, and Silky quickly drops on him for the pin.]

Tim: Cheap trick!!

Jeff: Hey, I've got one of their albums!!

[One... ...Two... KICKOUT!!]

Tim: Well, that'll sure set the tone for this match...

[Silky lifts up Storm and grabs him by the arm. He throws him to the ropes. As Storm bounces off the ropes, Silky winds up. Silky throws his arm hard and levels Storm with a clothesline - sending him spinning and flipping in the air. Silky runs to the ropes and raises both arms in the air. Storm gets up in the background as Silky turns around and throws a kick. Storm catches the kick, and quickly brings down Silky with a dragon screw legwhip.]

Tim: He's gonna try the Encore Performance!!

[Sure enough, Storm tries to force Silky over with a half crab; but Silky kicks him right in the jaw. Storm stumbles backwards, as Silky kips up. Storm runs at Silky, only to be lifted up into powerslam position. Silky drops straight down with a shoulderbreaker. He holds on though, and stands back up - which gets a big "OOOHHH" from the Japanese fans. Silky stands on his feet for a couple seconds, and then drops down HARD with a tombstone pilderiver.]

Jeff: OH! What a combination from Sir Psycho Sexy Son of a Silky Solar Eclip-

Tim: SHUDDUP!!

[Silky gets up to his feet and plants a couple kicks in Storm's gut. He lifts him up now, and whips Storm to the turnbuckles. Storm crashes in hard, as Silky charges at him. Storm catches the running Silky and throws him straight over his head. Silky's head collides with the top turnbuckle, and he starts spinning around uncontrolably. Storm catches Silky and lifts him straight up in a fireman's carry.]

Tim: Uh oh...

[Storm positions himself parallel to the ropes and then swings Silky around into a picture-perfect diamond cutter, which he calls The Perfect Storm... Silky quickly grabs his face, andstays on his hands and knees. Storm looks down at him, and then runs to the other side of the ring. Storm bounces off the ropes, runs at Silky, and leaps off his back. Silky quickly spins onto his back, as Storm lands in a sitting position on the top rope and backflips right onto Silky. The ref dives in for the pin.]

Tim: What a Split-Legged Moonsault!!

[One... ...Two... ...THR..KICKOUT!!]

Jeff: That was a little too close Silkstar...

[Storm pounds the mat with his fist, and then pulls Silky to his feet. Storm slaps on a standing head scissors and tries to lift up Silky for a powerbomb. Silky blocks it though, causing the fans to "OOOHHH" again. Storm tries a powerbomb again, but Silky blocks it again. The fans start cheering now, as Storm starts pounding ferociosuly on Silky's back. Storm tries for the powerbomb again, and this time gets it. He holds Silky in the air, and then slams him down STIFF in the center of the ring. Storm quickly runs to the ropes and begins climbing up.]

Tim: Storm is on fire now!!

Jeff: C'mon Silky!! This guy beat Lance... GET HIM!!

[Storm gets to the top rope and points down at Silky. He waves his arms in the air now, and takes off. Storm attempts a long-distance swanton bomb - but Silky rolls out of the way and Storm flops on the canvas. The crowd cheers as Silky gets up and does a little dance. Storm struggles to his feet now, and begin walking around the ring incoherently. Silky catches him in a front chancery, lifts him up, and spikes him down with an implant DDT.]

Jeff: FINAL CURTAIN!! FINAL CURTAIN!!

[Silky looks up at the ref and then quickly goes for the cover.]

Jeff: Stick a fork in him...

[One... ...Two... ...THRE..KICKOUT!!]

Tim: ...he's NOT done!!

Jeff: You slut!!

[Silky gets up again, and manhandles Storm to his feet. He throws him into the corner and then lifts him up into a sitting position on the top rope.]

Jeff: Yes!! Drop him with a Halo Jump!!

[Silky gets up onto the second rope himself, and locks on a 3/4 facelock. He dives off for a cutter, but Storm grabs the top rope and stays on. Silky flops hard on his back, and quickly pops up to his feet. He stumbles back into the corner, and Storm locks him in an inverted facelock. Without waiting, Storm flips over and nails a stunner.]

Tim: CHART TOPPER!! Silky just got hit the the Chart Topper!!

Jeff: No Silky!! Get up!!

[Storm acts as if he's going for the pin, but then shakes his head 'no'. Instead, Storm runs to the ropes and ducks onto the apron. Silky gets up in the ring now, as Storm grabs the top rope and leaps up. Storm springs off the top rope and dives at Silky - only to be caught with a THUNDEROUS cutter on the way down. The crowd once agian lets out a big "OOOHHH"]

Tim: SILK STREEM!!

[Silky quickly rolls Storm over, as the ref slides in.]

Jeff: That has to be it!!

[One... ...Two... ...THREE!!]

Jeff: YES!!

[The bell sounds, as Silky's music hits over the PA system again. Silky rolls off of Storm and gets to his feet. The crowd gives both men a round of appluase, as Silky raises both arms in the air. Silky spills to the outside, where Sho'Nuff and BPP help him to the back.]

Tim: What a way to start off Suicide... We'll be back!!

[Commercials]

[As the show goes back on the air, "Intro" by DMX hits the speakers. Escorted by a bodyguard of around 6 police officers, HWF President Johnny Drake walks into view.]

Tim: Johnny Drake is coming out!

Jeff: Umm.. hoo-fuckin'-ray!

Tim: I sure wouldn't want to be Jayson Starr...

[Drake and his entourage walk down to the ring. The policemen circle around while Drake climbs in. The normally anxious Japanese crowd quiets down as Drake raises the mic to his lips.]

Johnny Drake: Starr... what the hell is wrong with you man? Was Starr Struck'ing me twice last week not enough for you? Now you have to try and kill me!?! ... Christ almighty. Well, I guess i'm gonna have to punish you again...

[Drake pauses, as he thinks to himself.]

Johnny Drake: You know, I could get you arrested right here and now. Have you sit in a jail cell and put you away for a good five years or so. But I'm going to do one better... You think that you can solve all the world's problems? You thin kyou're Superman!?! Well, let's find out. Right here tonight, Jayson, you're going to be competing in a GAUNTLET match against four men of my choosing. One right after the other, Jayson. Now, I know that sound harsh and all, but if you win, you'll get a world title shot at whoever the HWF champion is, the Suicide after Parade of Cannibals 3. But, Jayson, don't count your eggs before they're hatched - because that's a big IF.

["Intro" strikes up again as Drake motions for the cops to leave without him. They start walking up the ramp, and Drake slowly follows.]

Tim: Jayson Starr, in a gauntlet match tonight! But who will he face?

Jeff: CHRIS GOINGS?!?

Tim: Ugh... no. Now be quiet before I kick your ass. Tonight, Gauntlet Match! I can't wait!!

[Vic and JD stare at each other from across the ring. Vic breaks the stare-down and runs at JD, who does the same. Vic dives forwards with a flying cross-body, but JD rolls underneath, pops back up to his feet with awesome agility, and bounces off the ropes. Vic rebounds like JD, and swings his arm for a clothesline, ducked by Brady. Both men come off the ropes again, this time with JD attacking Vic with a high calf-kick. Williams ducks and keeps on running, bouncing back towards JD with his head lowered. JD bounces to his feet after the failed calf-kick and spins around to meet Vic charging at him. Vic sticks his shoulder out for a spear, but JD counters with a jumping front chancery. Both men airborne, Brady twists his body, spinning the two, and drops Vic down with a twisting DDT!]

Tim - A quick start to this tournament match between Vic and the Original Prankster!

Jeff - C'mon Vic! I know your attendance in the HWF recently has been spottier than a Dalmatian, but you've still got it!

[JD lifts Vic onto the top turnbuckle with a suplex, giving him a semi-crotch. He climbs up to the second ropes facing Vic and pulls him to his feet, standing him up on the top ropes. JD pushes Vic up into the air, spinning him 180 degrees towards the mat with a Spinebomb Slam. As they are in the air, Vic grabs hold of Brady's head and hooks his leg around his neck, countering his Spinebomb with a high angle super Rocker Dropper! Brady's head bounces off the mat, snapping up sickeningly. He rolls around on the mat in agony, grabbing his injured neck. Vic gets up from his knees and a snarl passes over his lips as he whales away on Brady's spine with STIFF soccer-like kicks]

Jeff - THAT'S the Vicious Vic Williams we all know and love!

Tim - That's sick! Why has Vic snapped so early?

Jeff - So early? He's always like that!!! He's Vicious Vic Williams

Tim - Will you stop saying that?

Jeff - What, Vicious Vic Williams?

Tim - Yes!

Jeff - But that's his name, Vicious Vic Williams!

Tim - Shaddap!!

[Vic grabs Brady and lifts him to his feet. Vic shoves JD into the corner, laying him out with a few right hands. He sits JD up on the top and climbs up after him. He locks in a front suplex position and tries to lift JD off the turnbuckle, but JD ties his legs around the top ropes. JD reverses Vic's superplex and hauls him up in a superplex to the outside! Instead of Vic landing on the outside, JD aims him towards the ring post and drops him on his back on the tip of the metal post!]

Tim - Now who's vicious?

Jeff - Vic still is - JD is just biting his Vicious Vic Williams styles!

Tim -That's really getting annoying.

[JD hangs onto Vic (who has a disturbing grin on his face from the sensation of pain.) and rolls him onto the apron. He picks Vic back up onto the turnbuckle and hauls him up to the top ropes. He looks to the outside and motions for the timekeeper to move out of the way. He applies a front chancery on the top ropes to Vic, but Vic begins to punch away at his ribs. Vic lifts Brady up onto his shoulder from the chancery and stands on the top ropes. Vic looks down at the table and jumps backwards, falling all the way to the floor and through the timekeeper's table with a square-piledriver on JD Brady!!! A HUGE "HOLY-SH." wait, this is Japan. The crowd watches on and claps loudly instead of making the normal North American response. JD Brady rolls voer onto his back and lets the camera take a look at his face - which is busted wide open from the super square piledriver through the table!!]

Jeff - Oh SHIT!! Go Vicious V.

Tim - Don't say it, god damn you!

Jeff - What, Vicious Vic Www.

Tim - Don't!

Jeff - Williams?

Tim - Argh! *Tim takes a bottle of water and chucks it at Jeff*

Jeff - Sonofabitch!

[Vic slides to the outside and reaches underneath the ring. Scrabbling around for a bit, he pulls out a broom. Climbing back into the ring, JD grabs his hair and lays down a few shots, dazing Vic. JD yanks the broom out of Vic's hands and kicks him in the gut to keep him grounded on his knees. JD backs up a few steps, signaling to the crowd with the broom and winds up for a massive swing. As he swings, Vic leans back on his heels Elix Skipper style, avoiding the broom shot. JD stumbles forwards, missing Vic's head and tumbling into the ropes. Vic turns over and pops to his feet facing JD and stands ready, hopping on the balls of his feet and waiting for JD to turn around. JD turns, not knowing that Vic is up, and lifts the broom over his head to smack him. Vic charges forwards with every ounce of strength in his body and barrels through JD with a big fat spear! After nearly being split in half by the spear, JD rolls around and coughs up a small bit of blood. Vic takes the broom that JD dropped and hammers Brady in the stomach with a golf swing. Brady's body contorts in pain, and Vic continues. Another hit, and another, and another - Brady is forced to his knees with the last hit and now coughs up more blood. Vic smiles at the sight of Brady's blood and swings the broom at JD's head. Brady drops to the side, and Vic misses, stumbling over to the guardrail. Brady dives forward and nails a low blow on Vic. Vic leans over in pain, giving JD some time to recuperate. JD slowly gets to his feet and puts Vic in a standing head-scissors. He picks him up and drops down with a spiked piledriver. Vic's head bounces off the floor, but he gets up right away, waving his hands for more! JD obliges, kicking him in the gut first and hitting another spiked piledriver. Vic gets up AGAIN and starts asking for more. JD (of course) hits him with another spiked piledriver. Vic amazingly gets to hits feet, begins to wave his hands. but slows down like a drunk and flops forwards form all the piledrivers!]

Tim - And down goes the legend!

Jeff - No! You've supposed to be invicible!

Tim - Since when?

Jeff - Since whenever the fuck he wanted to be - he's Vicious Vic Williams!

[JD grabs Vic's hair and pulls him up to his feet, laying in a few shots to the face of the dazed Williams. JD continues beating down Vic to his knees and winds up for a big right hand. Vic jabs up with his thumb and pokes Brady in the eye. Vic dashes forwards and hits a short spear, knocking JD down. Vic reaches under the ring, pulling out various objects - a baking sheet, a metal bucket. the normal things one would find under a wrestling ring. Vic takes the baking sheet, first off, and thwacks JD in the face, denting the sheet and making a dull, "thud" against his head. He throws the sheet into the ring and grabs the bucket, stuffing it over JD's head. He picks up the broom from earlier and takes a homerun swing at JD's head, cracking it in two and denting the bucket in the middle!]

Jeff - FOUR!!!

Tim - Wrong sport, dumbass!

Jeff - TOUCHDOWN!!

[Vic takes the two broken pieces of the broom and starts barraging JD with stiff smacks to his head, arms and knees. Vic manages to drop JD down to his knees and spins around behind him, wrapping both pieces around JD's neck and arms, making a full nelson. Vic pulls JD off the floor with the ends of the broom and stands him up, locking a full nelson on overtop of the broom bits. Vic raises Brady high into the air, and drops him down with a full nelson driver, breaking the broom halves into quarters on JD's 's neck!]

Jeff - Now, if we were in back in North America, those quarters would equal a dollar.

Tim - What the fuck was that?

Jeff - I don't know. Vic's brutality has just left me stupid.

Tim - It wasn't Vic who left you stupid - I think it was yo momma when she dropped you on your head.

Jeff - Possibly. or maybe it wasn't! Ha!

Tim - Yeah. dumbass.

[Vic hauls JD up over his shoulder and runs towards the corner of the ring. Instead of JD getting his head rammed into the vertical post, he drops backwards behind Vic and shoves him face-first into the corner. As Vic stumbles back, Brady hits a drop toehold, slamming Vic onto his face on the corner of the ring.]

Jeff - That was DIRTY!

Tim - No it wasn't - it was innovative!

Jeff - Riiiight. I'll make a bet with you, that when Vic does something like that, you'll say it was dirty.

Tim - Well, duh, that's how it goes.

Jeff - Shut up Tim.

[JD carries Vic around the ring in a headlock, looking for the steel steps. He finds it, and slams Vic's head into the metal frame, knocking him silly. JD pulls the steps off of the floor and is about ready to slam it down on Vic's head. Vic pulls himself out of the daze at the last second and dives out of the way as the stairs come down right where he was sitting. JD goes to hit him again but Vic dropkicks the steps into his face. JD stumbles back from the blow over to the guardrail, leaning up against it. Vic runs at him, stretching his arm out for a clothesline, but JD bends forwards and sends Vic into the crowd with a backdrop. As Vic is in the air, he grabs onto the guardrail and swings himself back on his feet. He snaps on a quick sleeper hold on JD, and drops down immediately, cracking JD's neck on the guardrail with a sleeping neckbreaker. Vic begins to drag JD Brady down the isle.]

Tim: They’re going to the back?!

Jeff: I guess so!

[They disappear into the curtains, and when the camera comes back on, Vic and Brady grapple near a bench in the locker room area. Vic bends JD over the back of the bench, arching his back painfully. Vic holds JD in that position for a few seconds until following him over, now choking him with one arm. He lays Brady down on the bench with the chokehold and mounts him, wrenching down hard on JD's neck. Brady frantically swipes at Vic, who glares down and laughs right in JD's face. JD closes his eyes, and then spits right in the eyes of Vic, stunning him momentarily. Vic staggers off of JD, with his back turned to him. JD gets up off the bench, gasping for air. JD grabs Vic's waist and spins him around with a tiltawhirl, and drops him through the bench with an Emerald Fusion - the Flying Fury!!]

Tim - The Flying Fury! Right through a bench! That's it, end it now Brady!

Jeff - Eh. I'd give it a 6.

Tim - A 6? I'd give it a 10!

Jeff - Of course YOU would mark out for something as shitty as that. Your taste in violence is not as refined as mine. I am a connoisseur of violent shit. Violence is like a fine wine. it must be savored.

Tim - And then spit out into a little pail?

Jeff - Yes, of course. Didn't you know that, Timothy?

[JD slowly gets to his feet, picking Vic up form the wreckage of the bench. He drops Vic to his knees with a shot to the gut and walks over to a snack table. JD grabs a coffee-machine and raises it over his head triumphantly, smiling. He walks over to Vic and cracks him in the head with it, making a dent. He places the coffee machine on the floor next to the bench and picks up Vic from his knees. JD stands up on the arm-rest of the bench and grabs Vic in a bearhug. He looks back at the coffee machine and tries to lift Vic up, but Vic counters and grabs him in a reverse-russian legsweep. He jumps up into the air, spins 180 degrees and pulls JD Brady to the floor, bouncing his head off of the coffee maker with the 3D!! The machine was too weak to support the weight of JD's head, and it crumples in the middle, spraying boiling hot coffee onto JD's face! He screams and rolls around in pain, all while Vic laughs sadistically and rolls him up for the pin.]

[ONE.TWO.THREE!!!]

Tim - And Vic Williams takes the win over JD Brady!!

Jeff - Fucking CHRIST, I loved that!

Tim - Watch your mouth!

Jeff - Why? I never do!

Tim - It's Easter, you fuck! That's like, sacrilegious!

Jeff - What, for the other 355 days of the year I can say, Jesus mutherfuckingholyshittinggoddamned Christ, but for this one day I can't?

Tim - You uh, hit the nail on the head there, Jeff.

Jeff - Whoa. Well. I'm no Christian, so Jesus mutherfuckingholyshittinggoddamned Christ!

[Commercials]

[The camera fades in and cuts backstage, where Wildcat, Rickey Williams, and Joanna are in their locker room, watching a nearby monitor. Wildcat turns to Rickey, and the two bump fists.]

Rickey: Go out there and lay some popknots for me, man.

Wildcat: Don't worry. I ain't goin' down without a fight.

Joanna: We'd better go get ready. We'll be up soon.

[Rickey takes a seat on a nearby bench, and grabs a beer from a nearby cooler. Wildcat and Joanna walk to the right and offcamera, leaving us with a view of Big Texas. A few seconds later, an HWF road crew tech appears, distracting Rickey from the monitors.]

Tech: Hey listen, sorry to bother you, but Drake wants to see you in his office, right now.

[Rickey slowly gets up, and brushes by the tech in a huff. The camera follows him out the door as he walks down the hall, beer still in hand. The scene cuts to show Gary Luger backstage at the Hana-Haku Memorial Park. He is dressed in his wrestling attire complete with an HWF vest and he also has his red Oakleys on. He is walking down a narrow corridor, when he bumps into Tony Bradshaw.]

Tony Bradshaw: Hi there, Gary. How are you feeling about the match later on tonight? All this week you seem to have been very relaxed about it. You don’t think you are taking your opponents to lightly do you?

Gary Luger: Not at all, Tony. On the contrary, I know exactly what to expect from this match. Sadly that will not be the case for my adversaries for the night, Wildcat and Tatsumi. I told them I would give them anything they asked for, but the request was not forthcoming. Poor them, they will be at a greater disadvantage than they were before, but nevermind. Tonight isn’t about them, this match and this whole night is going to be about me. Like I said during the week, my première. All the lights, cameras and action will revolve around me, and no matter what either of them try to do, there is nothing that will be able to change that. Tatsumi may be in his home country, but that doesn’t mean jack shit. The fans here don’t exclusively like Japanese guys, they also appreciate good wrestling, and that is what I intend on giving to these people. This will be a show, they’ve paid their money to get in, and now they are waiting for the night’s main attraction, me, to get out there and entertain them. I was born to do it, and after tonight the rest of HWF are going to have to admit that.

Tony Bradshaw: OK, thank you, Gary. You’re match is coming up soon, so I guess I had better let you get ready for the match.

Gary Luger: No problems, man. See ya later.

[Gary then continues on his way round the corridor, leaving Tony to find other people to interview.]

[Commercials.]

[A black cloud cast a shadow over the fans. They begin to quiet down. The lights go out slowly, leaving only a faint red and blue light pointing towards the entrace. Fans hold up and spark their lighters and wait in anticipation. A string of fire shoots down the ramp and ends. Then, Thunder Underground by Ozzy Osbourne begins. The crowd gives a faint cheer. After a few moments, Renegade walks out and looks around and the fans surrounding him. He takes off his bandana and throws it into the crowd and raises his arms as they cheer. Renegade walks down the aisle and up the stairs and gets into the ring over the top rope. The ring announcer cowers behind a turnuckle as Renegade stands in the center of the ring and fireworks go off all around the ring. The music fades....]

Tim: The winner of this match will go on to face the winner of the Solomon and Davison match.

Jeff: Yeah, and if Havoc is coming out... Solomon or Davison is gonna have a problem next round.

[Renegade turning looks to the entrance as the lights in the arena go out leavening the arena in pitch blackness. Over the sound system a strange assortment of sounds can be heard...]

A women crying
A knife being sharpening
A woman whispering
A man giggling
A sickening sound resembling meat being sliced
And finally a purely sadistic laugh

[As the laugh dies down it is replaced by the sounds of Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams". As the song begins a door in the center of the stage floor slowly begins to open, emitting a blinding blue spot straight up. Renegade walking up to the ropes looks at the whole almost in shock. From below the stage a figure walks slowly up from what looks like a flight of stairs. Making it to the top the hulking figure stops as he lets the light almost completely bathe him. Looking up towards the ring the figure begins to walk down the ramp. As the blue spot begins to die down the arena is again shrouded in darkness. Renegade instinctively backs away and out of the ring as he sees the figure walk up and into the ring. As the man finally makes it to the center of the ring do the lights in the arena finally go on , revealing Havoc. Renegade’s jaw is dropped in shock as he looks at Havoc.]

Tim: This is sickening.

Jeff: Havoc is my new hero!

[Dressed quite differently the Mayhem, Havoc wears black leather pants and a sleeveless shirt made from what seems to be chain male. Havoc still wears a trench coat but sewn to the back of the coat from neck to tail are a collection of curved blades. The Mask of Mayhem is also gone, instead replaced by a half mask made out of blood red leather covers the top of his head, hair eyes and nose. The white eyes of the mask, shaped triangular, easily resemble the eyes of a demon. Looking to Renegade Havoc smiles, in his new form he looks even more monster then before. Pulling off his trench coat he hands it to a referee who inadvertently cut his hand as he sets it outside. Havoc turning back to Renegade laughs as he notices the mix of emotions in his face. Holding up his hand Havoc motions Renegade in the ring.]

Tim: Renegade is in shock.

Jeff: That's because Havoc is Mayhem... but Havoc isn't Mayhem!

Tim: What?

Jeff: Shut up... who's smart now?

Tim: That has nothing to do with any...

Jeff: Shut up!

[Renegade stepping into the ring watches Havoc carefully, turning his head for a second Havoc charges. Renegade turns just in time to see Havoc's arm chop him across the neck in a clothesline. The force of the clothesline knocks Renegade outside the ring and onto the mat. Havoc quickly scaling the ropes waits as Renegade stands back up. Havoc diving off, clotheslines Renegade into the announcer table. Havoc standing back up picks Renegade up and carries him over to the timekeeper. Grabbing the bell, Havoc rams Renegade’s head into it. After the 7th shot Renegade pulls away by elbowing Havoc in the chin. Renegade picking up Havoc suplexes him into the steel ring steps. Standing back up he drops several elbow drops into Havoc’s neck. Renegade picking up Havoc sets him up for a power bomb but Havoc bringing both of his arms up hits an axe handle low blow.]

Tim: They're a little too close to our table.

Jeff: Yeah... where's the refs? Get these buffons away from MY table!

[Havoc lifts Renegade into a gorilla press, and throws him into the ring!]

Tim: OH MY GOD! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE MANHANDLE RENEGADE LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE!

Jeff: Havoc is my hero. Wasn't he created on the 8th day?

Tim: What're you? Stupid?

[Havoc slowly climbs into the ring, smiling. Renegade gets up, and just looks wide eyed at Havoc. He gets up as Havoc enters the ring. Renegade immediately charges Havoc, and the two exhange rights and lefts in the middle of the ring. Renegade blocks one of Havoc's lefts, and kicks him in the midsection. He picks up Havoc, who is about the same size as he is, and gorilla presses him outside of the ring! Havoc crashes against the announcer table, and just stares at Renegade as he recovers. Renegade taunts Havoc, and the crowd gives him a large pop.]

Tim: This is a battle of strength! These two are going to try and show each other up!

Jeff: IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE TITANS!

[Havoc begins to laugh outside of the ring, and Renegade continues to taunt him, telling him to bring it. Havoc picks up a chair and tosses it into the ring.]

Tim: Why... is Havoc giving Renegade a chair?

Jeff: Umm...

[Then Havoc picks up a chair for himself, and raises it in the air, as if to say "Cheers!" to Renegade. Renegade just smiles as Havoc slides into the ring. And, like a classic lightsaber duel, the two chairs meet in the air. They both swing at each others heads.]

[CRASH!]

[...Then at their legs...]

[CRASH!]

[...Then Renegade swings at Havocs head, and Havoc goes for Renegades legs!]

[SMACK!]

[Both men fall to the floor. Renegade, holding his legs. Havoc, laid out... dillusional.]

Jeff: We've just seen a modern day sword fight!

Tim: We've just seen two men attack each other with all their might! They're laid out!

[Havoc reaches the ropes, and uses them to give him leverage. He tries to stand up, and succeeds. Renegade is holding his knee, something must have gone wrong. Havoc walks over to Renegade, and attacks his legs with the chair. Renegade yells out in pain, as Havoc continues the barrage on his legs. After six or seven chair shots to the knee, Havoc grabs Renegade's legs and begins to apply a boston crab. Renegade lifts the chair from behind him, and SMACKS Havoc across the head, as he tries to apply the Boston crab. Havoc just falls back, holding his head.]

Jeff: Renegade is going to give Havoc a concussion!

Tim: Maybe he'll save us all.

Jeff: How DARE you?

[Renegade gets up, limping slightly, and dives on Havoc, punching him across the face with closed fists. The ref runs over, and tries to break the two up before Renegade completely destroys Havoc. Renegade raises his arms, and the crowd goes wild. He turns, and is met by a spear! Havoc is dazed, and wobbling around after the spear.]

Jeff: HAVOC IS NOT GIVING UP!

Tim: There's something seriously wrong with that man!

[Havoc rolls to the outside of the ring, and pulls a table out from under the ring. He tosses the table in the ring, and Renegade begins to set it up. Havoc just looks at him, confused. Renegade smiles and taunts him again. Havoc runs into the ring, and the two lock up next to the table. Renegade overpowers Havoc, and puts him in a headlock. Havoc swings him against the ropes, and clotheslines him. Havoc then picks up Renegade, and spits in his face, laughing. Renegade then smacks Havoc with a right fist. Havoc grabs Renegade's face, and headbuts him. Renegade falls back against the ropes, blood trickling from his nose.]

Jeff: There's the blood!

[Havoc picks up the chair again, and smacks Renegade across the face on his way back from the ropes. Renegade stumbles, dazed. Havoc tosses Renegade to the turnbuckle. He climbs the turnbuckle, and lifts up Renegade in a piledriver position.]

Tim: Oh God... what's he doing?

Jeff: YES! YES! YES!

[Havoc jumps off the turnbuckle, and piledrives Renegade into the still-standing table!]

["HO-LY FUCK! HO-LY FUCK! HO-LY FUCK!"]

Tim: HAVOC PUT THE CAREER ENDER ON RENEGADE! HAVOC JUST KILLED RENEGADE! HOW'S RENEGADE GOING TO DEFEND HIS HARDCORE TITLE NOW?

Jeff: Hang on... I TALK when a crazy stunt has been pulled! Not you! ME! So, now that we've cleared that up - HOLY SHIT MOTHER FUCKING PILLOW TUCKING MILK SIPPING JIZZLE DICK FACED DONKEY! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

[Havoc falls on Renegade, who is passed out.]

[One.......... Two......... Thr..... Havoc gets up and picks up Renegade with him.]

Tim: WHAT THE HELL?

Jeff: YES! MORE BRUTALITY!

[Havoc places the chair beneath him and Renegade, and opens it up. He grabs Renegade's face with his hand, puts his other hand on Renegade's back, lifts him in the air, and SLAMS him down on the open chair!]

["H-W-F! H-W-F! H-W-F!"]

Tim: That's just not right!

Jeff: Monkey fucking homophobic rat testicle... THAT is wrestling!

[Havoc pins Renegade.]

[One........Two.......Three.]

Tim: It's over! Finally... the havoc is over.

Jeff: Yeah, and Havoc advances to the next round of the World Title tournament!

Tim: Folks, we'll be back. The EMTs are coming out to check on Renegade now.

[Commercials.]

Tim: I'm psyched for this next match! Chris Davison and Kyle Solomon!

Jeff: I predict a five-star match!

Tim: But who wins?

Jeff: Uh... I dunno. [flips a coin] I'm gonna be rooting for... Kyle in this match!

Tim: Uh huh...idiot. Are you actually going to COMMENTATE during this match?

Jeff: Of course!

Tim: Good. And now, in the immortal words of Judge Mills Lane... lets get it on!

[Insert Davison's entrance]

Tim: Chris Davison. Jeff, that young man has a future in the HWF!

Jeff: Yeah, a future of sweeping the floors!

Tim: And that's why he's the HWF Canadian Champion, Jeff.

[Insert Kyle's entrance]

Tim: And there's The Mark, Kyle Solomon himself! The HWF Smackdown Champion!

Jeff: The man who's going to win!

Tim: Well, at least you're sticking to rooting for one guy...

Jeff: You damn right!

[Kyle steps through the ropes and hands the referee his SMACKDOWN title. The referee places both belts off to one side, signaling that neither is on the line for this matchup. Kyle circles around the ring, his eyes mentally sizing up Davison, who does a little warmup routine himself. The two take a step forward, simultaneously locking up. Davison, with 3 inches and a few pounds on Kyle, whips him into the ropes and lunges with a clothesline. Kyle ducks and rebounds off the other side of the ring with a flying tackle of his own, knocking Davison down.]

Tim: Kyle's taking it right to Davison!

Jeff: Of course. With a guy like Davison, you gotta take him out 1-2-3, quick!

Tim: A guy like... what the hell are you talking about?

Jeff: Not a clue.

Tim: Idiot.

[Davison now has Kyle in a standing armbar. The referee leans in closer, asking Kyle if he quits. Kyle shakes his head almost immediatly, and reaches out towards the ropes. Davison applies more pressure, taking a step back and hooking his right leg. Kyle ducks the kick and maneuvers behind Davison, locking his arm around his waist and hoisting him up and backwards. Kyle jumps to his feet, runs to the turnbuckle and springboards off with a moonsault...]

Tim: Davison gets his knees up!

Jeff: Stop the match, stop the match! Kyle is hurt!

Tim [smacks Jeff]: What the hell are you, his mother?

[Kyle clutches his stomach as Davison gets up. Davison drags Kyle to his feet and hooks him in a front facelock, lifting him up and over with a vertical suplex. Davison starts to lift Kyle back up, but the latter recuperates and stuns him with a right hand. Kyle follows with another right hand and quickly headlocks Davison, taking him down. Kyle mounts Davison and starts laying into him with hard right hands, stopping after around seven blows. Kyle gets up and waits for Davison to stand up, before surging forward with a vicious elbow. Davison drops and scissor sweeps Kyle, planting his face against the canvas.]

Tim: Ow, that had to hurt!

Jeff: Well, at least it wasn't done onto a steel chair!

[Kyle rolls outside the ring for a split second to catch his breath. Davison turns his back and raises one arm in the air, getting a small round of cheers from an enthusiastic crowd. Davison turns back, to be caught with a stiff chop from Kyle. Davison is sent backwards, into the ropes. Kyle steps backwards, then forwards and hits a clothesline that sends Davison over the top and onto the cement floor. Davison scrambles to get back up, climbing back onto the ring apron. Solomon charges, but Davison drops and jerks down the top rope. Solomon flips over it, landing on the concrete, and Davison immediately leaps from the second rope and hits an Asai moonsault bodyblock, crashing into Solomon, causing both men hit the steel guardrail.]

Tim: Now I KNOW that hurt! I wonder if The Mark can recover from that?

Jeff: What about Davison?

Tim: Him, too. Hey.. weren't you cheering for Solomon?

Jeff: Yeah, but I'm concerned for Davison's welfare too.

Tim: Sure you are...

[Davison is the first to get back to his feet. He makes his way around the ring and grabs a steel chair before sliding back in the ring. Kyle has managed to get on the ring apron himself, and motions towards Davison. Davison returns the gesture and brandishes the chair, daring Kyle to make the first move. Kyle turns his back, and Davison runs at him. Kyle quickly turns around, thrusts a shoulder into Davison's gut, causing him to drop the chair, and sunset flips over the ropes, bombing Davison against the chair and holding for a pin]

[One... Two.... THR--]

Tim: Davison kicked out! That must have been 2 and 3/4 right there!

Jeff [whiny voice]: Another quarter of a second and The Mark would have won it!

[Both of them get back to their feet, Davison more slowly. Kyle quickly jumps in the air, wrapping his legs around Davison's head. He spins 180 degrees, but as he does so Davison grabs him and executes a vicious powerbomb. Davison steps up and pulls Kyle to his feet, backing him into the corner. He nails him with a hard chop to the chest. He rears back and delivers a second, and then a third. Then, Davison whips Solomon hard across the ring, where he ends up doing a Credible-like flip and landing in a tree of woe position on the turnbuckles. Davison charges the length of the ring and drives his shoulder into the midsection of Solomon with a hard spear. Solomon falls out of the Tree of Woe position and lies again clutching his midsection.]

Tim: Davison sure has his strategy down for this match. He's been working on Kyle's midsection more than anything else.

Jeff: It's all because Kyle had to botch that stupid moonsault and hurt himself in the first place! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

Tim: I don't see you doing anything better, Jeff, so do us all a favor and shut up.

Jeff: Kusotare*
* English translation: Asshole.

Tim: Yes, you are.

[Kyle gets to one knee, slowly rising to his feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Davison holding the steel chair again. Using the turnbuckle for leverage, Kyle gets back upright, taking a very quick breather. Davison takes a step forward, Kyle doing the same, and they lock up, Davison dropping the chair. Davison goes for an Irish whip, but Kyle reverses and drop toeholds Davison right onto the chair. Skin meets metal with a resounding THWACK, and Davison's head snaps backwards. Kyle walks over and lifts Davison up, waistlocking him and suplexing him backwards, holding for a bridge.]

[One... Two... KICKOUT!]

Tim: Solomon with a near fall this time! These guys are literally giving it everything they've got here tonight!

Jeff: Good. I expect only the best from these guys.

Tim: Good! Thats what these guys are; two of the best talents in the world!

Jeff: I take it back, these guys SUCK!

Tim: You're a real baka*, arent you?
* English translation: Idiot.

[Again, the two men lock up quickly. This time, Davison manages to get the advantage and sends Kyle right into the turnbuckle. Kyle's back hit's the turnbuckle with considerable force as he stumbles back out towards Chris, who attempts to lift him into a body slam. Kyle slips out from behind and pushes Chris in the back towards the turnbuckle, which Chris hits face first]

Tim: A quick escape there by Kyle Solomon.

Jeff: All I want is for Solomon to snap and then for both guys to kill each other so there is no winner.

Tim: What?

Jeff: That way we can guarantee there will only be TALENTED wrestlers in this tournament.

Tim: Chris Davison and Kyle Solomon ARE qui...

Jeff: Nuh uh Tim. Hush hush. I won't have any of your ass kissing.

[Chris rests face first in the turnbuckle as Kyle walks backwards to the opposite one, and bursts out in a sprint towards Davison. Kyle leaps in the middle of the ring for a splash, but only meets a face full of buckle as Davison escapes at the last moment. Kyle stumbles backwards into Davison's waiting arms, as Davison attempts a back suplex; but Kyle backflips out of it using the momentum he had left. Kyle attempts a guillotine ace crusher but Davison lifts his head as Kyle's leg rests across the back of his neck, and Kyle backflips once again and lands face to face with Chris.]

Tim: What an impressive display of athletisism here by these two men!

Jeff: Are you JOKING!?!?! These guys suck!

[As Kyle lands however, Chris delivers a standing side kick to Solomon's jaw, sending him to the canvas in a heap. Kyle springs back up holding his jaw, only to be downed again by a Chris Davison snap suplex. Kyle lands with high impact as he snaps against the canvas and holds his back in pain while Chris rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair, and throws it into the squared circle.]

Jeff: And Chris Davison acquires some testicles as Kyle Solomon writhes in pain.

Tim: shut up.

[Kyle shakes his head and kips back up to his feet to the delight of the Japanese fans, and he picks up the chair that Davison threw into the ring as Chris slides in underneath the bottom rope. Kyle backs up against the ropes and runs towards Davison with the chair but Chris ducks as Kyle swings, and Solomon flies into the ropes once again, meeting a boot to the midsection as he turned around; causing his to drop the chair. Chris grabs Solomon in a front chancery and jumps for a jumping DDT, but Kyle stands upright at the same time as he grabs the sides of Davison's waist with both his hands, slips his head out of Davison's grip, and uses Davison's momentum to slam the Canadian champion between his legs in a modified sit-down spinebuster.]

Tim: Amazing maneuver by Kyle Solomon!

[Kyle runs towards the top rope and climbs the turnbuckle as he positions himself for a moonsault. At the same time though, Chris gets to his feet in a second wind and smashes Kyle from behind at the top of the turnbuckle, nearly causing the Mark to lose his balance and fall to the floor below! Davison grabs Kyle's waist and attempts a super back body drop, but as Davison is ready to throw Kyle backwards, Kyle gets to his feet and keeps Chris in a reverse chancery as he uses Chris' momentum to turn himself around feet forward, and drop Chris into a top rope spinning bulldog! Instead of going for the cover, Kyle shouts to the crowd "It's time to MARK OUT!" and grabs Chris in a dragon sleeper/camel clutch hold!]

Tim: That's Kyle Solomon's patented Dragon sleeper camel clutch! He's recently renamed it "The Mark Out!"

Jeff: Who CARES!?!?!?

[Davison screams in pain as Kyle only wrenches his neck back farther, but by this time; Davison has crawled his way over to the ropes. Kyle lets go of the hold, and gets Chris to his feet as he whips Davison to the ropes and attempts to follow up with a running clothesline, but davison ducks as he hits the next ropes, and nails Kyle head on with a spear to the midsection! Kyle's body contorts in the air at the impact, and he and Davison lay on the canvas in exhaustion as the crowd screams for more]

Jeff: HOLY SHIT HE ALMOST BROKE KYLE SOLOMON IN TWO!

Tim: Who says he DIDN'T!?!

[After a few counts by the ref at the downed fighters, Davicon crawls over to Solomon and drapes his right arm over Kyle's fallen torso]

[One..... Two..... Thr KICKOUT!]

[Kyle kicks out as Davison gets to his feet and Solomon remains on the floor. Chris throws the chair over towards Solomon, then picks Kyle up by the hair into a front chancery. He lifts Kyle up once; but Solomon won't go. Again...but Kyle won't go. Davison whips Kyle up in the air in frustration, then leaves him there for a couple of seconds, but as Chris drops down for a brainbuster, Kyle swings his legs out behind Chris, ending up in Kyle standing behind Davison as Chris lands hard on his tailbone! Chris springs back to his feet and swings at Kyle wildly, nailing the Mark with a devastating right hand. Kyle takes the blow and falls to his knees, but staggers back to his feet with much effort. Davison swings with a left, and the same effect happens. finally, Chris goes for a third blow, but Kyle ducks, then as Davison swings around, Kyle grabs him from behind, spins 90 degrees, and nails a neckbreaker drop pinning maneuver onto the chair! The crowd goes nuts as the ref counts...]

[ONE......... TWO........ THREE! Chris Kicks out!?!?]

Tim: HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT!

Jeff: Noooo! YOU SUCK KYLE SOLOMON! YOU GODDAMN, MOTHERFUCKING SUCK!

[Tim reaches over and bitch smacks Jeff]

Tim: Shut up! Shut the HELL up, you IDIOT!

[Veeeeery slowly, the two men get to their feet. For a second, Kyle thinks he has the match won, until the referee explains that it was very close to, but not quite a three count. Kyle turns around and is caught full force with a clothesline from Davison, sending him down to the mat, hard. Davison gives a thumbs down motion, signaling for the end of the match. He goes to pull Kyle up, but he gets a knee to the gut for his troubles. Kyle strikes him with another knee and runs to the turnbuckle, climbing to the very top rope. Davison sees him, and follows. As Kyle gets to the top, Davison is waiting for him. Placing both hands on him, Davison attempts to throw him off. Kyle tucks and grabs Davison, flipping over and dropping him with a modified Acid Drop. The both of them land, each with one arm draped over the other. The referee drops to make the count..]

[One... Two... THREEE!!!!]

Tim: Kyle won!

Jeff: Davison won!

Tim: What? Kyle made the pinfall! His arm was over Davison!

Jeff: But, Davison's arm was over KYLE!

Tim: I don't know WHO won that. Can we get an official decision?

Nigel Rolston: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee's official decision: The winner of the match... KYLE "THE MARK" SOLOMON!

Tim: Kyle did it! After one HELL of a match, Kyle Solomon advances!

[Kyle's hand is raised in victory. He walks over to Davison, who is staggering to his feet. Kyle extends a hand, and after a moment's hesitation Davison accepts it. Kyle pulls him up and raises both his own and Davison's hand in the air. A thunderous cheer erupts from the Japanese crowd at Kyle's show of respect to his foe.]

Jeff [wipes a tear]: That was heartwarming. TEAR HIS HEART OUT AND EAT IT, KYLE!

Tim: You are one FUCKED UP human being, Jeff. These two guys put on an EXCELLENT match and you want Kyle to KILL Davison? Get the fuck away from me.

Jeff: I'm sorry.

Tim: Go. [ignoring him] That was match of the fuckin' YEAR. I mean it. Props to both these guys for doing what they just did, and congratulations to Kyle Solomon for advancing!

[As Davison and Kyle both leave the ring, we cut to a commercial break.]

[We come back as the camera cuts back again to Raging Rickey Williams, who stands in front of a door with "President Drake" clearly labeled on it. Rickey finishes off his beer and curses under his breath.]

Rickey: I don't know what this is all about, but it better be good...cuttin' into my drinkin'...

[Rickey doesn't knock, but instead just barges through the door. He stands in a small closet, looking around only to see mops and other cleaning utensils around. Rickey quickly turns around, when suddenly a man wearing a trenchcoat and ski mask closes the door behind him, locking Rickey Williams inside! Rickey can be heard slamming and punching on the door and yelling, as the masked man slaps his hands together and lets out a small chuckle before walking off. The cameras cut to the ringside area, where the ring is now surrounded by tables. The only place where there aren't any tables is where the entrance way meets the ring.]

Tim: Alright, fans, our next match is a Tables Match.

Jeff: Which means that the first man to put one of their opponents through a table will win the match.

Tim: Hooray... you finally did something right...

Jeff: Why I oughta...

['Nakimushi Death Match' by The Garlic Boys blares throughout the arena as the lights dim a bit. After a moment TATSUMI emerges from the back followed by Darkside Dragon. TATSUMI plays to the fans, headbanging and jumping around while Darkside Dragon stands motionless a few feet behind him. TATSUMI reaches behind him and pulls his Sickle from his waist band and holds it over his head, getting a huge reaction from the fans. TATSUMI then looks back at Dragon and motions for him to head to the back. Dragon bows and steps back through entrance, leaving TATSUMI by himself. TATSUMI then heads to the ring. TATSUMI lays his sickle on the apron in his corner and then tosses up the ring skirt. TATSUMI pulls out burlap bag and lays it near the ringsteps. He then pulls out a chair with 'C4' spray painted on it and slides it into the ring. The fans then come to their feet as TATSUMI drags a 5 foot long and 3 foot wide Bed of Nails out from under the ring. TATSUMI leaves the bed at ringside, placing it just a few feet from the burlap sack. TATSUMI pulls one last item from under the ring and stuffs it into his tights. TATSUMI pulls down the ring skirt and slides into the ring. He motions for a mic, and one is thrown to him. TATSUMI begins to speak, in Japanese, and subtitles appear at the bottom of the screen.]

TATSUMI: It's great to be home!

[Fans explode in cheer.]

TATSUMI: I'm standing at the cusp of one of the most violent matches of my life... not violent because the HWF made it that way, but violent because I made it that way. I asked for extreme and they gave me a table match... do they honestly think a simple table match is going to fly here? Not a chance. So I had to take measures to make sure this match was so much more than just a table match... and oh, it will be!

Jeff: Oh yeah!!

TATSUMI: In a few weeks time the Warriors BETA meet the Wrecking Crew in a match for the Tag Team Titles at Parade of Cannibals III. Tonight I had it in my head to ask the HWF to make that an extreme match, a match that would be beyond hardcore. I have an odd feeling though that my request would be answered with a tagteam bullrope match... or possibly a no DQ match. So you see, I'm not here tonight to ask the HWF staff for a violent match of their choosing, I'm here tonight to ask the Wrecking Crew to partake in the single most violent match to ever to grace Japan. Since I don't trust the staff to come up with said match, I've done it already...

[The crowd looks on.]

Tim: What match does he speak of?

TATSUMI: I stand here tonight, in this ring, in my hometown, and I'm challenging Billy and Rickey Williams to a Double Hell, Exploding Barbwire, Spidernet, Time Bomb Deathmatch for the Tag Team Titles at PoC3! The match that paralyzed Pogo, immortilized Onita, and nearly decapitated Hayabusa. No ropes on two opposite sides, 'Electrified' barbwire ropes on the other sides. Below the ropeless sides... Exploding Spidernet Barbwire, with broken glass and thumbtacks lining the bottom. A 20 minute timer... when it runs out... the ring explodes! Billy, Rickey, this is a most honored match in my country, and for me to ask you to particpate in it is a mark of respect. Accept it if you wish, but be warned... respect or no, chances are all four people won't walk out of a match like that...

Jeff: MY GOD!! That is one AWESOME match!!

Tim: But, will staff allow it!?!

Jeff: Only time will tell...

[Over the PA system starts the opening riff of “Full Nelson”. As it gets to the chorus, Gary Luger appears from behind the curtain. In his right hand he is holding a steel chair wrapped in barbed wire. He stands in the entrance way for a while, looking round at the fans, and then runs down to the ring, sliding in and getting up in the middle of the ring. He raises the chair high above his head, before throwing it to the floor and running over to the corner and jumping up to the top turnbuckle to salute the fans. Then he does a back-flip back down to the mat again and gets ready for his match.]

Tim: What a chance for the Smiling Assassin to prove himself here...

Jeff: Or get his career ended before it starts.

[The lights in the stadium dim as the camera focuses on the Extream Screen. On the massive screen stretches a gigantic brickwall, with nothing more than a low rumbling sound emitting from the PA system. The rumbling gets louder and louder as it becomes clear it's a loud engine on full throttle. The roar reaches its apex has the brickwall explodes, and a large, Ford Duelly Pickup blasts through as the lights flash wildly to the opening of "Mistakes and Regrets" by And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead. From the entrance stands Wildcat, wearing a Troy Aikman #8 jersey, HWF tag team belt over his shoulder, cowboy hat pulled low over his brow. To his left stands Joanna, wearing a Celinas high school letterman jacket, pumping her arms in the air to get more than the few boos from the crowd, who are obviously Tatsumi fans. Wildcat pulls off his hat and jersey, and quickly walks down to the ring, while Joanna follows closely behind. The two quickly reach the side of the ring, and Wildcat reaches under the ring. He emerges with weapon and holds it up to the crowd. It's a bullwhip! Wildcat then throws the whip to Joanna, and quickly climbs into the ring, throws his belt to the outside, and stares down TATSUMI.]

Tim: Oh yeah!! Let's get this one started...

[Ss the bell rings out, as both TATSUMI and Billy dash at each other. The two men begin duking it out in the center of the ring, as Luger looks on. Billy gets the upperhand, and locks TATSUMI in a front chancery. He begins pounding on his back hard with hie free arm, and then yells at Joanna on the outside. Joanna quickly dives into the ring and to the other side. She grabs TATSUMI's sickle and hands it to Billy. As she turns to leave the ring, however, Luger grabs her. Billy's about to stab TATSUMI, but breaks the hold and spears Luger. As Luger falls down, Joanna gets thrown into a turnbuckle and drops to the ground - knocked out cold.]

Tim: JESUS!!

Jeff: This match is only a minute or two old, and Joanna is unconcious...

Tim: Well, as much as I hate to say it, she shouldn't have been out here in the first place.

[Billy rises to his feet, with sickle still in hand. He turns back to TATSUMI, but gets kicked in the gut. The sickle flies to the outside of the ring, landing on one of the tables set up. TATSUMI locks Billy in a suplex, lifts him into the air, and drives hi mdown with a spinning falcon arrow.]

Tim: Sennuki Driver!!

Jeff: WHAT!?!

[TATSUMI gets to his feet and points to the C4 chair from earlier. He picks it up, but as he rises, Luger jumps in the air and dropkicks it back in his face... POP!!]

Tim: MY GOD!!

[The noise echoes through the night's air, as TATSUMI drops to the mat hard. The C4 chair drops to the outside, next to the bed of nails, as Luger quickly grabs for his barbed-wire wrapped chair. Billy rises to his feet, as Luger grabs the chair and shows it to the fans. As Luger turns around, it's Billy who dives in the air this time and dropkicks that chair into Luger's face.]

Tim: MY GOD.... again!!

Jeff: This match is getting out of control, and we're only minutes into it.

[As Billy rises, he immediately checks on Joanna. He carefully picks her up and rolls her onto a table on the outside. He tries to step through the ropes to escort her, but TATSUMI grabs him and pulls him back into the ring. TATSUMI lays into Billy with a set of right hands, but gets spun around by Luger and leveled with a few right hands himself. Luger grabs him for a suplex and lifts him up in the air. Billy catches TATSUMI's legs, and then throws them back up into the suplex. Luger floats TATSUMI over and drops him to the mat with a modified stunner. The crowd lets out an "OOOHHH" for this beautifully executed manuever.]

Tim: Nice Vertical Suplex into Stunner by The Assassin.

[TATSUMI flies backwards, towards the ropes by the bed of nails. Billy quickly bounces off the back rpes and football kicks Luger right in the chest. Billy pulls Luger to his feet, and then whips him to the ropes - by TATSUMI. Luger gets tripped by TATSUMI and falls out onto the apron, dangling over the bed of nails. He tries to step back through the ropes, but gets sent down by a Billy Williams side kick. Luger drops to the outside, about 6 inches in front of the bed of nails. In the ring, now, Billy grabs TATSUMI and lifts him up to his feet. Billy hastily locks on a front chancery and drops TATSUMI with a STIFF front chancery into cutter.]

Jeff: That's Chris Thrilla's THRILLER!!

Tim: I wonder why he used that...

Jeff: Well, they stole the belts from Teen Angst. Why not steal a few moves?

Tim: Please, Jeff...

[Luger gets up on the outside, and struggles his way onto the apron. Billy lifts up TATSUMI now, and backs him to the ropes - across from Luger. Billy wrenches TATSUMI's arm out a couple times and then whips him to the other side. TATSUMI runs straight at Luger, as the fans begin to crescendo. TATSUMI, now, leaps into the air for what looks like a high cross body, but Luger ducks. TATSUMI flies over the top rope, surely to crash down on the bed of nails. Somehow though TATSUMI manages to float over Luger as he falls and yank Gary off the apron into an inside-out sunset flip powerbomb. Luger is pulled off the apron and powerbomb right onto the bed of nails! The women in the crowd scream out in terror as the men stand in disbelief, mouth's agap.]

Tim: Holeeeeeeee.... SHIT!!

Jeff: Luger has to be dead!! How can you survive that!?!

[In the ring, Billy Williams shrugs his shoulders at the crowd - as they cheer for the incredible move they just saw. TATSUMI slowly gets up on the outside, and reaches into his tights and pulls out what look to be brass knuckles. He slides them on his hand and then slides into the ring. Billy charges at TATSUMI now. TATSUMI takes a swing with the knucks but Billy ducks. Wildcat slides behind TATSUMI and hoists him up for a belly to back suplex. TATSUMI flips out of the suplex though, and lands behind Billy. Wildcat turns and gets blasted right in the face with TATSUMI's knucks. Upon contact the knucks shatter into pieces. Billy drops like a rock, and TATSUMI collapses, clutching his fist. As we survey the debris on the mat we can make out small pieces of what looks to be glass.]

Tim: WHAT THE HELL!?!

Jeff: They were glass knuckles all along!!

Tim: Glass Knuckles!?!

[Billy bleed from the head now, as Luger begins moving on the outside. Luger slowly rolls off the bed of nails, but remains motionless otherwise. In the ring, TATSUMI lifts up the bloody Billy and pulls him to the side of the ring. TATSUMI throws Billy out towards the apron, and gets out there himself. TATSUMI lifts up Billy and starts laying in left hands. The two fight right next to a line of tables, which would spell the end of the match if one of them could force the other through it.]

Jeff: This one is gonna end soon...

[TATSUMI grabs Billy and locks him in a standing head scissors. TATSUMI lifts up Billy for a piledriver, but Billy slaps his legs togther - causing TATSUMI to drop him back into a head scissors. TATSUMI lifts him up again, but gets the same result. TATSUMI pounds down on his back now, as the crowd becomes frenzied. TATSUMI lifts Billy up for a powerbomb this time, but Billy turns to the side and backwards - performing a AMAZING hurricanrana over the ropes and back into the ring.]

Tim: What a Hurricanrana from The Wildcat!!

Jeff: Yeah, it was alright...

Tim: What do you mean alri-

Jeff: WAIT!! Look at Luger!!

[On the outside, Luger is standing now - with a 12 foot ladder in hand. He looks to be in pain, as he sets up the ladder over the bed of nails. In the ring, Billy and TATSUMI don't even notice him as he begins scaling the huge ladder to the top. Billy lifts up TATSUMI and the two begin brawling in the center of the ring. The crowd starts cheering louder and louder as The Smiling Assassin finally reaches the top of the steel. His shadow casts down into the ring now, causing both TATSUMI and Billy to look up. As they do, Luger dives off the top of the gigantic ladder and takes out both men with a tremendous missle dropkick.]

Jeff: HOLY SHIT!!

Tim: Gary Luger just hit one of the most god damn incredible Dropkicks I've ever seen!!

Jeff: Alder should send us some more of these XCW guys...

[All three men lay on the ground now, as the crowd gives them a standing ovation. Luger is the first up to his feet, as he slides back to the outside and grabs TATSUMI's burlap sack. He slides into the ring now and holds it over TATSUMI's head. TATSUMI suddenly comes to life, and kicks the bag into the corner. All three men rise now, as the bag explodes against the turnbuckles. As it does, we see hundreds of golden thumbtacks hit the mat, along with 5 or 6 small black things. It takes us a second, but we quickly realize that the black things are in fact...]

Tim & Jeff: SCORPIONS!?!

[The scorpions crawl around in the mess of tacks as TATSUMI looks to the somewhat shocked Billy Williams. Suddenly TATSUMI is jerked around by Gary Luger, who lifts him up in a bearhug. Luger locks on a midair front chancery and then drops TATSUMI onto the tacks and scorpions with a STIFF cradle DDT. TATSUMI lays stunned in the thumbtacks as a few of the scorpions slowly begin to crawl up and onto him.]

Jeff: Luger just hit Pranked Ya on TATSUMI!!

Tim: Pranked Ya? ... I believe he calls it the Defining Moment...

Jeff: Whatever... it hurts... that's all I know...

[Luger begins picks the tacks off of his back, as Billy spins him around. Billy doesn't hesitate to drop Luger backwards with an evenflow DDT. Billy quickly runs to the outside and scales the ropes. Luger gets up in the ring, as Billy leaps OVER TATSUMI and the tacks/scorpions and drops Luger with a flying hurricanrana.]

Tim: RIG DROP!! RIG DROP!!

[Billy Williams is quick to his feet, to see both men down. He glares over at Joanna, who is still down, and then back at Luger and TATSUMI. Billy nods his head and then dives to the outside. He picks up Joanna off the table and begins walking around the ring towards the entrance ramp. Billy places Joanna at the top of the entrance ramp, and then walks back to the ring. As Billy's walking towards the ring, he holds up 8 fingers.]

Jeff: He's signaling for thr 8 Seconds!!

Tim: But why doesn'y he try to put somebody through a table!?! that's how you win this match...

[In the ring, Luger is up and against a corner. On the opposite side of the ring, TATSUMI is up and against a corner. Billy slides into the ring, but is suddenly turned around by Joanna screaming at the top of the entrance way.]

Tim: There's that guy again!!

[The camera cuts over, to see the mystery man from earlier in the night pounding on Joanna. Billy quickly hops to the outside, as the mystery man throws Joanna off the makeshift entrance ramp. Billy runs up the ramp, as the man pulls out a sledgehammer from his coat. Billy tries to swing at him, but gets leveled with the hammer right in the chest. The man drops the hammer, and then drags Billy to the edge of the makeshift entrance ramp.]

Tim: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY!?!

Jeff: I dunno, but all eyes are on him...

[TATSUMI and Luger watch on, as the mystery man slaps on a standing head scissors. He underhooks both of Wildcat's arms and then lifts him into the air. Without remorse, the mystery man drops Billy down OFF THE ENTRACE RAMP onto a pil of electronis and speakers. A loudly popping is heard, as the crowd screams in fear.]

Tim: WHAT THE HELL!?!

Jeff: That was TREMENDOUS!!

[In the ring, TATSUMI scales the ropes to attempt to see what happened. Luger makes a heads-up move through, and runs to the other side. He leaps in the air and pounds TATSUMI onto the top turnbuckle. Tacks still lay in the ring, as Luger scales the ropes and chickenwings both of TATSUMI's arms. Luger wraps his legs around the top rope, and then throws TATSUMI backwards with a super tiger suplex onto the tacks.]

Tim: SUPER TIGER SUPLEX!!

Jeff: TATSUMI has to be dead!! I LOVE THIS!!

[TATSUMI lays prone on the thumbtacks as Luger looks out at the crowd. He smiles up at the Extream Screen, and then rolls to the outside. He tries to pick up one of the tables, but something catches his eyes under the ring. He reaches under the apron and pulls out... a bucket and a cloth. Luger looks at it, and smells it, and then puts it in the ring. Luger stands over TATSUMI now, yelling and pointing at the bucket.]

Tim: What's in that bucket, Jeff?

Jeff: I dunno... but it sure stinks...

[Luger hoists TATSUMI up to his feet, Luger locks on an inverted facelock and backs up to the corner. He walks backwards up the ropes, and then points back down to the thumbtacks. Suddenly, TATSUMI comes alive and grabs Luger in an inverted crucifix bomb. TATSUMI flips Luger over his head, and then drives him down to the ground.]

Tim: TATSUMI Bomb!!

[TATSUMI quickly begins kicks Luger towards the outside, where Luger lays prone on a table. TATSUMI grabs the bucket, throws the cloth in the center of the ring, and then spills the contents of the bucket all over Luger and the table. TATSUMI throws the bucket out of the ring and grabs the cloth. He rings it out and then puts it on, revealing it to be a solid black shirt with the word 'TATSUMI' on it in white letters. He reaches into his tights and produces a lighter, one quick flip later the shirt is ablaze. TATSUMI slingshots up, turns, and springboards to the outside with a flaming moonsault. TATSUMI slams onto Luger, driving him through the table. The table explodes into flames as TATSUMI and Luger's bodies slam onto the concrete below. The crowd screams in terror as they gaze at the twisted mass of buring bodies and wood.]

Jeff: CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!

Tim: IT'S IT OVER, YET!?!

[The bell sounds, as technicians spill into the ringside area to put out the flames. EMTs rush out as well, as TATSUMI's theme hits the speakers.]

Tim: Fine, TATSUMI won... now get these guys some help...

[The flames are put out, as EMTs attend to both men. The crowd gives all three men a round of applause, as the mystery man at the top of the ramp takes one last look at Billy and then heads to the back.]

Tim: Alright, it's gonna take a while to clean this up. Why don't we go to commercial?

Jeff: Yeah, good idea...

[Commercials]

[Walking to the office of Bisc Limpkit, Claire looks at the paper given to her just minutes earlier.]

“Claire I please come to my office immedietly...Bisc.”

[Walking up to the door she smiles as he pushes it open. Walking inside, the room is dark for some reason, Bisc doesn’t seem to be there. Turning on the desk light she seens Bisc’s tall chair turned away from her.]

Claire: Bisc?

[The chair turns to reveal Havoc sitting with a huge smile on his face.]

Havoc: No, I’m a little taller, and I’m a tad bit crazier.

[The smile on Havoc’s face gets even wider as he sees the fear in her face.]

Claire: What do you want?

Havoc: Hmmm, let me think. A lifetime supply of Penthouse, World Peace, your tits mounted on my wall, your blood watering my bagonias.

[Stepping back Claire fights the urge to scream as she moves silently towards the door. Havoc leaping out of the chair jumps onto the table croutching down, eyeing her like a vulture.]

Havoc: Getting ready to run? Goood, I haven’t stalked anyone in a long time.

[Freezing up she doesn’t move as Havoc smiles even more.]

Havoc: Awwww don’t do that. I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you a 20 second hear start, okay? 20...19...18...16...

[Cracking up at his mistake with an insane laughter Claire emmidently throws open the door and runs.]

Havoc: 151413121110987654321 I’m outta here.

[Leaping off the desk Havoc bolts out of the door after Claire. Claire with what only seems a 5 second lead she rounds a corner into another hall, looking for Bisc or someone to help. Trying a door she looks for a place to hide but the one she checks is locked. As Havoc rounds the corner Claire screams as he again tries to run but this time she trips, twisting her ankle. Havoc walking up smiles at her.]

Havoc: Why is it in every movie I see where some poor little girl getting chased by the crazy psycho she always trips and twists her ankle. Pisses me off, I lose out on the opportunity for a good old stalking cause you had to trip. Oh well...

[Reaching into his pocket Havoc pulls out an x-acto knife, Claire in term screams. Smiling Havoc slowly walks up to her. Standing over her Havoc begins to kneel down just as...]

Voice: Havoc!!!

[Havoc turning jumps and turns just in time to see Kyle Corman kick him across his face. Staggering Havoc stumbles back but doesn’t fall, meanwhile Claire getting to her feet races off. Havoc getting back to his feet smiles as he wipes the blood off his chin.]

Havoc: Awwww, what’s wrong here Kyle. Are you pissed at me?

Corman: You got that right you son of a bitch. I couldn’t have saved Alexa but I’m not going to fail on that again.

Havoc: : Hell Kyle, you already have. She’s not going to get a moments rest thinking I’ll be coming at her. And who know I might just. HAHAHEHEHEHA!!!

[Corman even more enraged then before attacks Havoc at the two start to trade blows as a large collection of referees and security guards come running to break them up. Havoc laughing breaks away from the guards and walks away as Corman fights the guards trying to get away to attack him.]

[Commercials.]

Tim: Keep in mind the rules for this match, folks. To win your opponent must go through the glass mat, and weapons AND tables are at ringside!

Jeff: Whooo, tables!

Tim: Down, bwah.

[Before the bell even rings, Renegade attacks Brady, stunning him with left and right hands to the face. Renegade whips Brady into the opposite corner of the ring, and catches him right across the jaw with a big boot a la Test. He climbs out of the ring, where many different sharp, pointy weapons are strewn about, and chooses a lead pipe. He slides back into the ring and is caught with a swift kick from the shorter, but more agile Brady. Renegade doubles over, and Brady grabs him and drops with a snap DDT. The glass mat cracks, but doesn't give in... yet.]

Tim: Remember, one wrestler has to go THROUGH the glass mat. A little crack like that WON'T count.

Jeff: And rightly so. If it did, this match would be the shortest in HWF history!

[Renegade gets to his feet, a small cut on his forehead from where the glass cut him. Renegade looks at Brady and shakes his head, as if saying "That all you got, boy?" Brady picks up the lead pipe and lashes out at Renegade, who snatches it and kicks Brady in the stomach, wresting control of the pipe. Renegade swings the pipe like a baseball bat, slamming it into Brady's side and dropping him to one knee. Renegade rears back and slams the lead pipe into Brady again, and he goes down. Renegade throws the lead pipe behind him, outside the ring, and drags Brady through the ropes. He picks Brady up and rams him head first against the chainlink cell surrounding the ring. The barbed links dig into Brady's skin, tearing it slightly, and blood begins to ooze down his face. Renegade sets Brady up for another, but Brady raises an arm to block it, and instead rams RENEGADE's head against the cage. Renegade shakes his head to clear up his mind, and staggers Brady backwards with a punch. Renegade takes a step forward, and is struck full on the head with the lid of a trashcan. Brady starts pounding on Renegade, using first the trashcan lid then the can itself. As it impacts against Renegade's head, the can dents like the cheap material it is. Renegade finally drops to a knee, and Brady does a Steve Blackman impression with the can, smashing it first into Renegade's stomach, then his head, then smashing it into his wounded knees.]

Jeff: Its Steve Brady! Or.. JD Blackman?

Tim: Uh, no. Shut up. Brady's trying to keep Renegade off his feet, which is a must. Renegade is HUGE! He's what, 6'9 or 6'10?

Jeff: 6'8 and a half.

Tim: He's 6'9. And Brady is around 6'3. BIG difference there.

[With Renegade still on one knee, Brady climbs on top of one of the several tables at ringside. He leaps off, spreading arms and legs in a body press, and falls right across Renegade, who to everyone's surprise lifts him up, gorilla pressing him for a good five or six seconds before catapulting him up, onto, and through the table. Renegade picks up a stop sign, in Japanese of course, and raises it above his head to slam it down on Brady. With the little bit of strength remaining, Brady nails Renegade right in the groin, and rolls out from the debris of the table. Brady slides around and back into the ring, watching Renegade rise back to his feet. Renegade picks up the stop sign again and throws it in the ring, right into Brady's waiting hands. He turns and points at Brady, and climbs up onto the ring apron. Brady runs over, but Renegade quickly elbows him and drops down, guillotining Brady's neck against the top rope. Brady falls backwards and Renegade quickly kneels, reaching under the ring.]

Tim: He's going underneath the ring, you know whats there!

Jeff: FIRE! FIRE! HEH HEH!

Tim: Okay there, Beavis. There are EXPLOSIVES underneath the ring! This is going to get ugly, and get ugly REAL fast.

[Sure enough, Renegade pulls out a C4 board, and slides it into the ring. He then reaches back under, and grabs a C4 loaded CHAIR, then climbs onto the apron with it. Brady then quickly runs to the ropes, pushes forward on the top rope, and pulls back hard, making Renegade slingshot over the top rope, and land back-first right onto the C4 board!]

[BOOM!]

Jeff: Oh shit! Renegade's GOTTA be in some hella-pain, now!

[Renegade winces in pain from the explosion to his back, and drops the chair. Brady starts stomping on Renegade some, then picks him up. There's a fairly large crack in the glass from where the C4 went off. Brady whips him to the ropes, and catches him on the way back with a drop toe hold right across the middle ropes. Brady gets out on the apron, and does a legdrop right to the back of Renegade's head, pushing his neck down on the rope. Renegade bounces off the ropes on contact, and falls to the glass mat. JD drops to the ground, and pulls out a cookie sheet. He looks at the sheet, and sees that it has "All-Purpose, Cookie Sheet o' Doom" written on it in black. Brady raises an eyebrow at this, then shrugs and gets in the ring. Renegade gets to his feet, as Brady swings the sheet and hits him over the head with it. Renegade staggers some, and Brady hits him over the head again, bending it this time. Renegade still doesn't fall, so Brady tries again. But Renegade quickly kicks Brady in the gut, making him drop the sheet, and he follows up by getting on a front facelock--then hitting a brainbuster DDT to the glass. The glass cracks even more from this.]

Tim: That glass is getting dangerously close to breaking now.

[Renegade just lays there for a moment, then finally stands up. Brady's rubbing his head and slowly sits up. Renegade grabs Brady by the head, and stands him up, then whips him into the ropes. Brady tries for a clothesline but Renegade ducks and then lifts up Brady. He holds Brady up in a gorilla press and slams him HARD on the glass as Brady holds his back in pain. There is now a VERY large crack on the glass where Brady was slammed, and it looks as if the glass'll break any second now. Renegade takes a rest in the turnbuckle and catches his breath. Renegade averted his attention briefly, and Brady gets up and hits a low blow on Renegade. Renegade holds his jewels as Brady drops him with an inverted DDT right on the crack of the glass, and hits it with a sickening thud.]

Tim: Wow, the glass STILL isn't broken!

Jeff: In surprised! It looks like that thing would shatter at the slightest SNEEZE now!

[JD Brady points to the turnbuckle as the crowd cheers. He slowly hoists himself up on the top rope, as showing the signs of pain from the gorilla press, holds his back. This gives Renegade time to get to his feet, charge Brady in the corner and grip him by the throat! Renegade lifts Brady high into the air and chokeslams him down HARD onto the glass, AND the C4 board!!]

[BOOM!!]

[As the explosion goes off, the glass underneath Brady is shattered to billions of peices on impact from the chokeslam.]

[Ding Ding Ding!]

Tim: Renegade won!

Jeff: He's retained the Hardcore Title from Mr. Blue's Clues!

[Commercials.]

[Cut to backstage, where it shows the locker room of Jayson Starr. He's sitting on the bench lacing up his boots, and getting ready for his match. Lance Sterling's standing behind him, leaning up against a wall with his arms folded.]

Lance: Drakey's really got it in for you, huh? I mean, all you did was try to kill him with a forklift. No biggie... What you gonna do about that gauntlet match?

Jayson: I'ma do what I always do: Kick their ass. I don't know who the fuck he's bringin' out, and frankly, I couldn't give a shit. He could bring The Saint out of he wants, I'll kick his demented ass, too. Drake was lucky tonight, but he won't be so lucky next time.

Lance: Yeah man, that's telling him. You go and kick some fuckin' ass. Me, I'll be over at the hotel, watching everything that goes down.

Jayson: What, you ain't stayin' here?

Lance: Nah. You don't need me here to watch your back. You got this covered. Plus, if Drake saw me he'd probably pull some wack-ass bullshit on ME, or have me thrown out. So I'll do him a favor and not stick around.

Jayson: Eh, I guess you're right. Whoever he's got planned, they ain't shit to The Hardcore Hero anyway.

[He finishes with his boots, and stands up.]

Jayson: This is nothing.

[Commercials.]

[The lights dim down some, and the crowd starts to get to their feet and cheer. Suddenly, an explosion goes off at the entranceway, as it "Them Bones" by Alice in Chains blasts onto the speakers! From out of the back, comes none other than "The Hardcore Hero" Jayson Starr. He has on his trademark shades, and leather jacket, which reads "HARDCORE HERO" on the back in red. Jayson looks around for a bit, then he starts walking towards the ring. He gets to it, and climbs up onto the apron. He turns to look at the crowd, who cheers him on. Jayson smirks, then climbs into the ring through the ropes. He walks around some, then hops up on a turnbuckle and puts his hands into the air, listening to the crowd cheer.]

Tim: Jayson seems scyhed for this match, tonight.

Jeff: He better be. It's hit ticket to the World Title.

[He then hops off, and takes his jacket off. He removes his shades, and tosses them into the crowd, for some lucky person to have. Jayson tests out the ropes some, then adjusts his gloves. The music slowly dies down and the lights return to normal, as Jayson has a look of supreme readiness in his eyes.]

Tim: And now, let's see who Drake picked for his first oppon...

["Living in Chaos" by The Offspring hits the speakers.]

Jeff: Hey, it's Chris Styles!

[Chris Styles walks out from the back, and heads to the ring. He slides in, and looks around some. Jayson then doesn't waste any time, and hits Chris with a forearm to the back of the head, making him stumble forward towards the ropes.]

Tim: Jayson's going right at him!

[Ding Ding Ding!]

[Jayson grabs Styles by the head, and walks him over to the corner. He rams Chris' head into the turnbuckle, then whips him to the opposite corner. Chris hits hard, and rests up against the turnbuckle. Jayson runs in, and goes for a clothesline, but Chris ducks out of the way and Starr hits nothing but air. Jayson turns around, as Chris hits him with a stinging right hand. He grabs Jayson by the wrist and whips him to the ropes. Jayson comes back, and Chris goes for a clothesline but misses. Jayson ducks it, bounces off the opposite ropes, comes back as Styles is turning around, and Jayson drops him with a clothesline of his own.]

Tim: This match's going back and forth.

[Jayson picks Styles up by his head, and hooks on a front facelock. He punches him in the gut a few times, then drops down to one knee, smashing Chris' face into his knee.]

Jeff: That was a slick move.

[Jayson drops for the cover. 1.....2....kickout!]

Tim: Heh, Jayson's trying to put Chris away as quickly as possible.

Jeff: Wouldn't YOU? He's gotta go through more guys right after this!

[Jayson stands up, as Chris stumbles to his feet. Jayson advances on him, and Chris quickly spins around and catches Jayson with a spinning cresent kick!]

Tim: Oh! Nice one by Mr. Intensity.

[Chris starts stomping on Jayson, and stands him up. He locks on a reverse facelock, and runs towards the corner turnbuckle. He kicks off, spins around, and then quickly SWITCHES arms so it's a front facelock with the OTHER arm and drops down with a twisting DDT!]

Jeff: Oh shit! What a move!

Tim: Jayson might be in some trouble.

[Chris slowly stands up, and shakes his head some. He then signals that it's over now, and points to the turnbuckle. The crowd gives a mixed reaction of cheers and boos, and Chris steps out on the apron then climbs the turnbuckle to the top rope.]

Jeff: Chris going for the Intensity Splash!

[Chris steadies himself, then jumps off. But at the last possible second, Jayson rolls out of the way, and Chris crashes to the mat, clutching his stomach.]

Tim: He moved! Jayson avoided the Intensity Splash!

[Jayson looks to Styles, then jumps over him and lays down on the left side of him. Starr grabs his arm, and locks him in the canadian crossface hold!]

Jeff: Jayson put Styles in the crossface!

[The crowd cheers as Jayson pulls back on Chris' head hard. Styles stays in the move for at least, a good ten seconds, trying to hold on. But finally, he taps out.]

[Ding Ding Ding!]

Jeff: Styles taps out!

[Jayson gets up and walks to the corner. Styles is holding his neck in pain, as he rolls out of the ring and walks to the back. The instant that Styles vannishes from sight, "Close The Door" by Prong hits the PA.]

Tim: Holy shit!

Jeff: It's Phoenix!

[Phoenix runs out the back and goes to the ring. He slides in, as Jayson leaves the corner. They meet in the center of the ring, and immediately start trading punches. The crowd cheers.]

Tim: Phoenix and Jayson are going at it!

[Phoenix gets the advantage and backs Jayson up to the ropes. The he grabs him and whips him to the ropes. Jayson bounces off, and goes for a clothesline, but Phoenix drops down and takes him down with a drop toe hold. Phoenix gets to his feet quickly, and starts stomping on Jayson. He picks him up, and locks on a inverted facelock. He grabs Jayson's pants, but Jayson counters it and pokes Phoenix in the eye before he could hit it. Phoenix releases him, and grabs his eye.]

Jeff: Phoenix was going for Into the Ashes, but Jayson wasn't having that.

[Jayson straightens up and spears Phoenix while he was preoccupied. Jayson starts wailing on him with punches, while Phoenix is franticly trying to cover up. After a moment, Jayson stands up, and yells at Phoenix to "get the fuck up!". Phoenix looks at him, then slowly stands up, being cautious. He finally gets to his feet, and they lock up. Jayson gets Phoenix in a headlock, then Phoenix pushes him off and up against the ropes. Phoenix then runs in a clotheslines him over the top onto the outside.]

Tim: So far, Jayson's doing pretty well, actually.

Jeff: Yeah, but this is only number two. Who else is there?

[Jayson gets to his feet, just as Phoenix gets outside. Phoenix grabs Jayson's head, and smacks it on the guard rail once, then again, then again. He grabs Starr by the hair, and drags him around the ringside area, over to the Spanish announce table. He smacks his face on the table, then Jayson gains advantage and smacks Phoenix's head on the table. Phoenix regains control again, and does the same thing. And again, Jayson comes back with the same move.]

Jeff: This shit is back and forth to hell!

[Jayson hits Pheonix's head on the table again, and then grabs a tv monitor from the Spanish announce table and cracks Phoenix in the head with it!]

Tim: Man! Jayson just hit Phoenix right in the forehead with that television monitor!

[Phoenix drops to the floor, as Jayson takes a deep breath, exhales, then grabs him. He picks Phoenix up, and lays him on the table. Jayson climbs up with him.]

Jeff: Uh oh..

Tim: What's Jayson planning?

[Jayson lifts Phoenix up, and raises his hand in the air. The crowd cheers, as he goes to put Phoenix in a standing head scissors, but Phoenix sneaks in a quick low blow on him. Jayson doubles over, as Phoenix gets to his feet on the table, grabs Jayson by the head, spins him around so he's in an inverted facelock, lifts him up, and plants him with an inverted Implant DDT THROUGH the table!]

Tim: HOLY FUCK!!

Jeff: INTO THE ASHES THROUGH THE GOD DAMN TABLE!! JAYSON'S GOTTA BE DEAD!

[Phoenix just lay there outta exhaustion, and Jayson lays there outta... pain. Phoenix's head has blood coming out of it, from the monitor shot to it. After a moment, Phoenix slowly stands up, picks Jayson up, and slides him in the ring. Phoenix climbs into the ring, and drops down for the cover.]

[One....Two......Thre..kickout!!!!]

Jeff: He kicked out!! He kicked out!!

Tim: Jayson Starr kicked outta Into the Ashes!!!

[Phoenix's eyes widen with surprise as he can't believe what just happened. He argues with the ref about the count, and the ref assures him that it was only a two-count. Phoenix swears so loud that everyone in the arena can hear him crystal clear, then he gets to his feet. He starts rapidly stomping on Jayson, then grabs him hard by his hair, and stands him up. He punches him in the face some more, then whips him to the ropes. Jayson comes back, and Phoenix drops him with a spinning spinebuster. He goes for the cover again.]

[1.....2.....kickout!]

Tim: Ooh, Jayson's coming SO close to kissing that World Title shot goodbye..

Jeff: He'd better hold his ass out.

[Phoenix slams his fists on the mat, then stands up, and picks Jayson up again. He punches at Jayson, but Jayson blocks it. The crowd lets out a cheer.]

Jeff: He's still got some fight!

[Jayson retaliates with a right hand of his own that connects square with Phoenix's jaw. Phoenix reels back, and comes with another punch, which is blocked and countered again by Starr. Jayson grabs Phoenix and whips him to the ropes, but Phoenix reverses it and sends Jayson to the ropes. Phoenix goes for a clothesline when he comes back, but Jayson ducks it and puts on the breaks. Jayson spins around, as Phoenix quickly turns to face Jayson and is caught with a kick to the gut. Jayson then quickly grabs Phoenix by the head and drops down into a modified 3/4 turn neckbreaker!]

Tim: STARR STRUCK!!!

[Phoenix bounces off Jayson's shoulder on impact and drops to the ground like a ton of bricks. Jayson falls down to the ground and covers Phoenix, hooking the leg.]

[1......2......3!!!]

[Ding Ding Ding!]

Jeff: Jayson's beat Phoenix!!

[After a moment, Phoenix slowly rolls out the ring. He staggers up to the back and exits through the curtains. No music plays afterwards.]

Tim: Is that it?

Jeff: Maybe so. That means Jayson's got a title shot at the Suicide following Parade of Can..

["Between Angels and Insects" by Papa Roach suddenly kicks onto the speakers.]

Tim: Or maybe NOT!

Jeff: Hey, that's...

[Jonathan Storm walks out from the back, and smiles.]

Jeff: Yeah, it's Jonathan Storm! Jayson's gonna be in for a fight now!

[Storm struts down to the ring, as Jayson slides out of it, and starts walking up towards him. They meet halfway up/down the ramp, and get in each other's faces, talking alot of trash.]

Jeff: ...da fuck're they talking about?

Tim: Who knows. But Storm does have some payback for Jayson for what he did to him at Se7en.

[They then start trading punches back and forth, slowly making their way back to the ring. Jayson kicks Storm in the gut, then throws him to the corner, right into the steel steps. Storm hits his knees, and flips over the steps on impact, landing back-first on the floor.Jayson wipes the sweat off his forehead,.and walks over to where Storm is. He grabs the steps, and lifts them up. He holds them over his head, and walks to Storm.]

Jeff: Hey, what's he doing?

Tim: He's gonna drop those steel steps on Jonathan Storm!

[Jayson screams out, then slams the steps down, just as he rolls out of the way. The steps make a loud *CLANG!* on contact with the ground, and Storm scrambles to get to his feet and moves about a good ten feet away from Starr.]

Tim: He BARELY avoided those steps.That coulda been the end of his career, let alone the match.

[Jayson sneers at Jon, then climbs into the ring. He nonchalantly walks over to a corner, and lays up against the turnbuckle, facing Storm. Jonathan stays on the outside over by the announce tables, and starts walking around, keeping an eye on Storm.]

Tim: Why won't Jonathan Storm get in the ring?

Jeff: What's wrong with you, Storm? GET IN THE FUCKING RING!

[Storm then gets a slightly surprised look on his face, and then turns to look directly at Jeff.]

Jeff [startled]: Oh shit..

Jonathan Storm: Shut the fuck up!!

Tim: You heard him, Jeff.

Jeff: Oh, be quiet.

[Storm then turns back to face Starr, who's still lounging in the corner of the ring. Jonathan then gets an idea, and walks over to the timekeeper's table. He shoves the timekeeper out of his chair, and grabs it. He folds it up, then goes over and slides into the ring. Storm spits more trash-talk out at Jayson, and Jayson just sits there and smirks.. entertained.]

Tim: Jayson's just laughing this up.

Jeff: Yeah, and he's also getting his STRENGTH back!

Tim: True.

[Storm tells Jayson to bring it on, and Jayson shrugs, then gets out of the corner. Storm drops the chair, then runs after Jayson. Jayson side steps him, and Storm runs into the corner. Jayson picks up the chair, and Storm turns around. Jayson swings the chair, baseball-style, but Jon quickly ducks it. Jayson is surprised, and keeps turning around from the momentum. Storm then hops up, grabs Jayson by the back of his head, and drops him down with a face crusher, RIGHT on the chair! Starr bounces off the chair on impact and lands on his back.]

Tim: OOH!

[Jon drops, and hooks the leg, pinning him.]

[1....2...kickout!]

[Storm stands up with Jayson. He lays a couple punches to him, then whips him to the ropes. Jayson comes back, and Storm drops him with a kitchen sink(knee to gut). Jayson lay there, with blood coming from his head, as Jon Storm puts the heel of his boot right on the source of the blood. He then fiercely scrapes his boot across the wound. Starr grits his teeth and winces in pain, as Storm straddles him, grabs a hand full of hair as he lifts Jayson's head off the mat, and starts punching viciously on that same opening, making it worse.]

Jeff: Storm's really working on that cut on Jayson's head.

Tim: Do what works.

Jeff: Yeah, I guess.

[The ref tells Storm to ease up on Jayson, and Storm pushes the ref outta the way. He punches on Jayson some more, then gets up. He moves to his legs, holds them up, looks around some, then delivers a stomp right to Jayson's groin. Starr rolls over and winces in pain, balling up into almost a fetal position.]

Tim: Ooooooh!

Jeff: That will RUIN Jayson's weekend.

[Jon picks his legs up again, and kicks Jayson in the groin once more. Jayson winces again, as Jon grabs another handful of hair and picks him up from the mat. He walks Starr over to the turnbuckle, and rams his head into it, leaving some blood on the padding. With one free hand, he reaches behind the top turnbuckle pad, undoes the string, and removes the pad.]

Tim: Jonathan Storm's removed the protective covering on the turnbuckle!

[Storm grabs Jayson, and backs him up some into the ring. He then whips him HARD into the corner, smacking back-first into the exposed turnbuckle. Jayson winces intensely from the pain, and holds onto the top rope to try and keep himself from falling. Starr's down on one knee now, holding his back. Jon walks up to him, grabs some more hair, and lifts him up. He pushes Jayson up against the corner, then climbs up to the second turnbuckle. Storm raises his fist into the air, grabs yet ANOTHER handful of hair with his other hand, and starts laying hard shots to Jayson's head.. right on his open wound. The Japanese audience begins to count along with each punch...]

Ichi!!

Ni!!

San!!

Shi!!

Go!!

Roku!!

Shichi!!

Hachi!!

[Then, at eight, Jayson manages to gain the strength to grab Storm by the back of the tights, and walk forward some. He then falls back and down in a flapjack, dropping Storm face-first right into the exposed turnbuckle!]

Tim: My god!!

Jeff: What a comeback by Jayson!

[Storm's head bounces off the turnbuckle, as he lands on the ground, clutching it in pain. Jayson crawls over to him, and covers him.]

[One.....Two....Thr..kickout!!]

Tim: Jayson almost had him!

[Unable to capitalize, Jayson just lays there, exhausted. Storm lies right beside him. After about six or seven seconds, Jayson finally sits up. He looks over at the crowd, as sees that they're very much into this match. He sighs, then rolls out the ring. Jayson takes a moment to compose himself, then kneels down by the apron. Storm slowly sits up and leans against the corner, as Jayson tosses up the apron.]

Jeff: What's he doing?

[Jayson reaches under the ring, and slides out a table!]

Tim: Starr's got a table!

[Starr sets up the table. Jon slides out the ring, and catches by laying punches to him, and whips him into the barricade. Jayson grits his teeth on impact with the steel, as Storm backs up then dropkicks Jayson right in the face, knocking him backwards over the barrier onto the floor. Jon advances on Starr, and climbs over the barricade.]

Tim: It looks like Storm and Starr are taking this one into the crowd!

Jeff: I've noticed that these matches are getting longer and longer with each person that comes down.

Tim: Of course. With each superstar, it gets harder and harder for Jayson to put them away.

[Jayson tries to stand, and pushes himself up to his hands and knees. Storm grabs an empty seat, folds it up, and cracks Jayson across the back with it. Jayson drops back down to the floor with the hit. Storm comes across Starr's back with the chair once more, and again. He drops the chair, then turns around and walks to the barrier. He grabs the table, and drags it over the railing onto the other side that they're on. He sets the table up parallel to the ring, and goes back to Jayson. Storm stomps on Jayson some, then picks him up. He puts Jayson in a standing head scissors, then takes a deep breath. Storm reaches around Jayson's waist then lifts him up. He locks his hands together between Starr's legs, then drops down into a cradle piledriver on the concrete.]

Jeff: Shit! What a cradle piledriver by Storm. Starr could very well be out of it.

[As Jayson rolls off Storm and onto the floor, Jon stands up. He lifts Jayson up, and rolls him onto the table. Storm lays a couple forearms to Jayson's chest, then walks to the guard rail. He climbs back over it, and slides in the ring.]

Tim: Huh?

Jeff: What the fuck is Storm doing? He's just leaving Jayson there.

[Storm looks at Jayson, who's laying on the table in the crowd, then screams out loud. He runs to the opposite side of the ring, and bounces off the ropes. Jonathan comes back at full speed, jumps up onto the top rope, springboards off... and in a Rob Van Dam fashion, does a Frog Splash then quickly switches it to a Swanton Bomb OVER the barrier, and at Starr. Then, just before Jon lands, Starr barely rolls OFF the table, and onto the floor.. sending Storm crashing through the table and onto the cement!!!]

Jeff: HOLY FUCK SHIT ASS GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY SHIT CAKES!!!!!!!

Tim: OH MY GOD!!!!!! STORM JUST DID A SUPER SPRINGBOARD ANAHEIM AFTERSHOCK INTO THE CROWD AND THROUGH THE TABLE.. AND MISSED!!!!

[The crowd lets out a loud "OHHHHH!!!" as Jon screams in pain louder than anybody's ever screamed before.]

Tim: Jonathan Storm could've very well just broken every bone in his fucking body!!

Jeff: Not to mention his pride.

[Storm clutches his back in agony, as Starr climbs over the broken table, and lays on top of him.. trying to go for the pin.]

Jeff: Jayson, this isn't a falls count anywhere match, you have to pin him IN THE RING!

[Jayson notices this too, and lets out a huge sigh. He stands up very slowly, using some chairs to assist him, and starts heading towards the railing. He climbs over, and reaches under the ring. He slides out another table, but doesn't set it up.]

Tim: He's getting ANOTHER table?!

[He picks it up, and sets it up as a make-shift bridge between the ring apron and the guard rail. Starr then looks to Storm, who's still laying on the concrete, and then waves him off and rolls into the ring. Jayson walks around some, then plops down in the center of they ring, sprawled out.]

Tim: Jayson Starr and Jonathan Storm are taking it to the LIMIT tonight!

Jeff: And just think....

Tim: What?

Jeff: We don't know if Storm's the last guy!!

Tim: Holy shit, that's right!

Jeff: I feel sorry forJayson right now.

[After about a good, long minute.. Jonathan Storm FINALLY begins to show signs of life. He slowly, but surely, begins to raise to his feet.]

Jeff: Hey, look!

Tim: Storm's not dead, after all.

[Storm gets to his feet, and holds his back, wincing. He starts to limp his way to the railing, and starts to slowly climb over it. Jayson's sat up, and he rolls over to the outside of the ring. He slides out, and Jon kicks him in the gut, but winces when he does so. Jayson punches Storm in the face, then climbs up onto the apron, going to get back in the ring. Storm hits Jayson in the back, and Jayson slumps overtop the top rope, in front of the table-bridge. Jon slowly climbs on top of the table, and grabs Jayson in an inverted facelock. He takes a very deep breath, exhales, then grabs the rope with his free hand. Storm then pulls back on the rope, while still holding Jayson, and slingshots himself OVER the top rope, and sits down into a sitting guillotine over the ropes, dropping Jayson's throat right across the top rope. Starr bounces off the ropes, falls backwards, and right through the bridged table!]

Tim: Oh MAN! Jayson just got hit with a modified version of Storm's Chart Topper right onto the rope, and then fell through the table at ringside!

Jeff: I'm surprised Storm's even MOVING.

[Jayson lay in the remains of the table, as Storm slowly stands up, with the help of the ropes. He climbs outside once more, grabs Jayson, picks him up, and rolls him into the ring. He slides into the ring himself, and covers Jayson with a very weak pin, but a pin nonetheless.]

Tim: It could be over!

[1.....2.....Th..kickout!!]

Jeff: Jayson...just...won't...give...UP!

[Storm looks up with a "I don't BELIEVE this shit!" look on his face, and slowly gets to his feet. He staggers around like a drunken man, then swings his hands in the air, signaling that this is gonna end right here and now. He picks Jayson up by his hair.]

Tim: He's going to end it now.

[Jon goes to pick Jayson up for a scoop, but Jayson slips out and lands behind him. Jayson grabs Storm in an inverted facelock. He then turns him all the way over so he's facing down instead of up, and drops down into a modified 3/4 turn neckbreaker!]

Jeff: Starr Struck!!

Tim: What a reversal! Jonathan Storm just got Starr Struck!

[As Storm hits the ground, Starr limply falls back-first on top of him. The ref counts.]

[1.....2.....3!!!]

[Ding Ding Ding!]

Tim: Starr wins! Starr wins!

["Them Bones" by Alice in Chains hits the PA again, as both men just lay there, unable to move. A couple of officials come down to ringside, and help Storm up and out of the ring. They help him get to the back.]

Tim: What a night here at Saturday Suicide! Jayson Starr just went through three HWF superstars, to claim his fair shot at the HWF World Title the week following Parade of Cannibals 3!

Jeff: Yeah, I'll give it to Jayson. He earned that o...

["Them Bones" is suddenly cut off by "Heavy" by Collective Soul.]

Tim: What?!

Jeff: AW YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!

Tim: That's Gavin Coens' theme music!

[Sure enough, Gavin walks out, in full wrestling gear, and with a HUGE smile on his face. Jayson looks up at him while he's laying on the ground, then drops his head hard back down. He says something that can't be heard, but you can clearly make it out...]

Jayson: Maybe if I just close my eyes, he'll go away...

[Jayson decides anything's worth a try, and closes his eyes. Gavin nonchalantly gets up on the apron, and climbs in the ring. He looks at Jayson lying there with his eyes closed, and decides to try and pull a fast one on him. Gavin gets down, and very GENTLY, puts a single finger on Jayson's chest. The ref counts.]

[One......Tw...]

[Jayson then snaps his eyes open, and smacks Gavin across the face for trying that stupid shit. Gavin jumps to his feet, startled, then starts to stomp on Jayson for smacking him. He grabs him by the hair, and stands him up, then puts on a standing head scissors. He lifts Starr up, then comes down with a powerful sitdown powerbomb. Gavin holds him there for the pin.]

[1.....2....kickout!]

Tim: Gavin's going for the quick win, here.

Jeff: Yeah, I can see wh--hey, what the fuck?

[From out of the back, comes Jonathan Storm, Chris Styles, AND Phoenix! They're all walking down to the ring, along with none other than President Johnny Drake.. who has quite a large grin spread across his face. He's also carrying the HWF World Heavyweight Title in his hand.]

Tim: Uh oh.. I think this is about to turn ugly.

[Storm doesn't look as out of it as he was a little while ago, and the other two look fully rested. They all get into the ring, except for Drake, and Gavin starts stomping on Jayson. Drake walks over to the ring announcer's table, and grabs a mic.]

Jeff: This is fucked up. This has turned from a gauntlet match, to a four-on-one handicapped match.

[Drake gets in the ring, as they're all stomping on Jayson repeatedly. Chris Styles goes up to the top rope and perches there, as Phoenix stands Jayson up. Phoenix grabs Jayson in an inverted facelock, and then lifts him into an inverted implant DDT.]

Tim: Oh man, Phoenix just hit Into the Ashes on Jayson again. And...

[Phoenix moves out of the way, as Chris comes off the top rope with a high-altitude frog splash and hits dead on.]

Tim: ...Styles with the Intensity Splash.

Jeff: This is some really fucked up shit, Tim.

[Drake starts talking trash as the four men are beating on Jayson.]

Drake: Oh man, this is great. Keep it up guys, teach that sonofabitch a lesson he'll NEVER fucking forget.

[Jayson clutches his ribs in pain, as Storm grabs him and stands him up. He shouts something to him, then slaps him across the face. He then grabs Starr in a front face lock, and yells something at Gavin. Gavin smiles, then grabs grabs Jayson in a double armbar while Storm's still holding the facelock.]

Tim: What're they.....?

[They both hook Jayson's legs with their own, and then fall down at the same time into a Russian Legsweep DDT/Double Armbar Front Russian Legsweep combo.]

Drake: Oh yeah! THAT's what I'm talking about. Beat his ass!

Tim: Holy shit! They just hit Starr with a Cardinal Syn/Inverted Bittersweet Symphony combination! Jayson's gotta be in a world of hurt, now.

Jeff: This has turned from a gauntlet match, to a four-on-one handicapped match, to just a straight-up BEATDOWN!

[They stand up, as Styles grabs Jayson by the legs, and locks on an elevated boston crab.]

Tim: Now Styles has the Pure Intensity locked in.

[Jayson grits his teeth and winces in horrible pain, as Styles puts on the pressure. Jayson yells out in agony, and Drake kneels down in front of his face.]

Drake: Well now... how do you like this, Starr? Not so cool NOW, are you? What, what's that? No smart remarks? No witty jokes? Hmm... shame. This isn't like you, Starr.

Tim: Drake is just sick.

Drake: Have anything to say on your behalf, Starr?

[Drake holds the mic down to Jayson's mouth, as Jayson's gritting his teeth. He barely manages to ignore the pain for a moment to speak four words..]

Jayson: Go....to......fucking....hell.....

[Drake looks angered, and stands up.]

Drake: You little peice of shit!

[He stomps on his head a few times, then tells Styles to let him go. Chris releases the lock on Jayson, and backs off. Drake kicks Jayson over so he's laying on his back, and Drake stands overtop of him. He gets down in Jayson's face with the World Title, and puts it right up in his face.]

Drake: You see this? Huh!? This is the closest you'll ever... EVER get to this fucking title, or as far as I'm concerned, ANY title again! You hear me Starr!? EVER!!

[Drake stands up, as Jayson lay there, and he speaks to everyone else in the ring.]

Drake: Take care of him. I'm fucking sick of looking at this sonofabitch.

[After that, Storm, Phoenix, Styles, and Gavin all start stomping on Jayson, pumelling him into the ground mercilessly.]

Tim: This..... this is just too damn much. Everyone, we'll see you next week at Suicide.

Jeff: This IS too much. Especially after what Jayson's went through tonight.

[The copyright info appears on the screen, as it shows all four men repeatedly stomping and beating on Jayson in the center of the ring, while Drake watches happily. The scene slowly fades, as Saturday Suicide goes off the air...]