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March 10th, 2001

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[7:03 pm | The San Jose Arena, San Jose California]

[The camera fades in from black, to already see Blackjack awaiting in the HWF ring. His theme song, "Fame" by DMX is blasting over the speakers as the fans chant out "H-W-F, H-W-F". Blackjack stands in the ring, looking down at the entrance way and smiling. Slowly, his theme song fades out. The chant continues, as Tim and Jeff's voices suddenly chime in.]

Tim: Hello fans and welcome to HWF's Saturday Suicide... no time to waste, because this show has already started...

Jeff: Jeff Miller here... first up is Solomon versus Blackjack.

Tim: What? No inappropriate middle name this week?

Jeff: Naw... I feel if I even try, I'll get interrup-

[Just then - "High Voltage" by Linkin Park hits the speakers as Kyle Solomon appears from the black abyss of the backstage area. With eyes opened focusedly and staring at his opponent, he stands still, facing the ring as the crowd erupts, breaking his stare as Kyle suddenly snaps his head around to see the audience applauding him. He folds his arms while cocking his head up in the air as we can see his forest green 3/4 length pants and black cut-off "Kyle Solomon" t-shirt. The One Man Show now brings focus back to his opponent as he walks slowly down to ringside, biding his time so as not to be unfairly attacked by the anxious man awaiting in the ring for him. Stepping up onto the apron while holding the ropes for balance, Solomon cautiously climbs the turnbuckle, raising his hands in the air to the delight of the crowd, and then drops into the ring.]

Jeff: God dammit. I knew that would happen.

Tim: Well, let's get to it...

[The bell sounds, as Solomon and Blackjack begin circling each other...]

[Solomon and Blackjack continue circling each other - neither man making a move. Blackjack lunges out for a right hand, but Solomon dodges and levels him with a kick to the gut. Solomon tries to follow up, but Blackjack, this time, dodges out of the way and lands a right cross to Solomon's jaw. Solomon reels back towards the ropes and Blackjack clotheslines him down to the mat. Blackjack tries to drop an elbow, but Solomon moves. Blackjack gets up real quick for another elbow, but Solomon moves again. Solomon kips up to his feet now, and meets the rising Blackjack with a dropkick. Blackjack stumbles backwards and falls through the ropes to the outside.]

Tim: Nice exchange by these two in the early going...

[Blackjack rises on the outside, as Solomon stands at the opposite ropes. Solomon suddenly dashes to the other side and lays out Blackjack with a baseball slide dropkick. Solomon stands up on the outside apron, facign into the ring. Blackjack quickly gets to his feet and low blows Solomon. Blackjack grabs Solomon for a powerbomb, but can't get him down. Solomon mulekicks Blackjack right in the head. Blackjack doubles over as Solomon leaps into the air. Solomon springs off the second rope and moonsaults backwards; catching Blackjack's head in a front chancery and DDT'ing him back into the guard rail.]

Jeff: OH SHIT!!

[The ref is now on the outside of the ring, trying to get the guys back in... but it's no use. Both men seem to be out of it already.]

Tim: God, this match is only a few minutes old and both men seem to be unconcious.

Jeff: I didn't think The Markie Mark had that in him...

[The ref helps Solomon to his feet and into the ring, and then does the same with Blackjack. The crowd cheers for the match continuing, as it could have easily been a countout. In the ring, Solomon slowly crawls over to Blackjack and attempts a pin.]

Tim: Already!?!

[One... ...Two... ...Th.. FOOT ON ROPES!!]

[The crowd gasps. Solomon slowly gets up to his feet. He pulls Blackjack up by the head and throws him back into a corner. Solomon lands a few weak punches to Blackjack's sturnum and then whips him to the other side. Blackjack bounces into the corner and Solomon attempts to follow him for a clothesline. Blackjack gets his foot up, however, and plants a STIFF big boot to Solomon's shoulder. Solomon suddenly drops straight to the mat, clutching at his right shoulder. Blackjack reels out of the corner and drops a legdrop HARD across Solomon's right shoulder.]

Tim: Blackjack is an assasin here tonight.

Jeff: And he's going after Solomon's weak shoulders, which were injured in the infamous Kosan Death Match!!

[Blackjack lays in a few more stomps to Solomon's shoulders and then lifts him up to his feet. Blackjack wrings out Solomon's shoulder and then whips him to the ropes. Solomon bounces off, and Blackjack catches him in a hiptoss. He throws Solomon over, but switches it into a modified Michinoku Driver in mid-air.]

Jeff: The Full Effect!!

[Blackjack continues to stomp and hits on Solomon's right shoulder. Solomon tries to cover up, and the ref actual asks for a submission - but gets nothing. Blackjack lifts up Solomon again and drops him down with a scoop slam. Blackjack straightens him out and then lays his right arm out in a half-crucifix pose. Blackjack quickly runs to the near turnbuckles and begins scaling.]

Tim: Oh no, if he lands on Solomon's shoulder, The Mark may be in need of another surgery.

Jeff: Yeah, but it's un-familiar territory for Blackjack...

[Blackjack finally reaches the top and stands up vertical. Blackjack suddenly dives off, for a diving headbutt. At the last possible second, however, Solomon rolls out of the way and Blackjack lands face-first on the canvas. The crowd cheers as Solomon quickly gets to his feet, still clutching at his shoulder. Blackjack stumbles up to a standing base as well, but gets a few left-hand chops. Blackjack leans against the back ropes, but gets whipped to the other side. Blackjack bounces off the ropes, but gets caught in a standing fireman's carry. Without pause, Solomon whips him around into a stunner.]

Tim: OH!! Fireman's Carry into Stunner!!

Jeff: How did he muster up enough strength to get Blackjack into that!?!

Tim: No clue, Jeff... no clue.

[Solomon stands up and pulls Blackjack to his feet again. He throws Blackjack into a corner and then lifts him up in a back suplex. Solomon crotches Blackjack on the top rope and pulls him off in a torture rack.]

Jeff: No way...

[Solomon tries to rotate Blackjack over, but collapses under the pressure. Blackjack lands on his feet, crouched down. Solomon drops to his back, holding his shoulder and slowly gets up to his feet. Blackjack pushes Solomon from behind, into the ropes. Solomon rebounds off the cables and gets hit with a HARD standing side kick directly on Solomon's right shoulder.]

Tim: Oh my god!!

[Solomon immediately drops to the mat, as Blackjack falls down on top of him.]

Jeff: That was the End of the Road!!

Tim: It certainly was...

[One... ...Two... .....THREE!!]

Jeff: He pulled it out!!

["Fame" by DMX erupts on the speakers again, as Blackjack rolls off of Solomon. The ref immedately checks on Solomon's condition. He still seems to be favoring his shoulder, as Blackjack rises to his feet and begins to exit the ring. The cameras cut to Tim and Jeff at ringside.]

Tim: I hope Kyle's shoulder is still alright.

Jeff: Eh, who cares anyway!?!

[Tim glares over at Jeff.]

Tim: Anyway folks, as I said a few minutes ago - welcome to Saturday Suicide. With only fifteen days left until Seven, things are certainly starting to heat up.

Jeff: That's right... And in our main event tonight, we will see the up-and-coming Wrecking Crew along with Michael Trey heading up against Phoenix and Tag Team Champions Teen Angst!!

Tim: But right now, we have to cut to the back...

[The cameras cut to backstage, where Silky is seen strutting up to one of the dressing rooms, decked out in his green and purple Pimp Squad gear and his Wilson's duster... He has a big smile on his face, and rightly he should, because he's got a handful of Tempest's box! Well, a box with Tempest's name on it, at least... He stops outside the door, which bears Temepsts name. He laughs a little, to himself, then opens the box, looking down at the fresh pair of Silky Panties he just picked up at the vendor's booth (get yours at the HWF Shopzone, available now!!!). He pulls a gold spray paint marker from inside his leather coat, and scrawls his name accross them, between the waistband and his picture, before capping the marker, closing the box, knocking on the door and running down the hall to hide...]

[He peers down the hall as the door opens, and out steps... the cleaning lady. She lifts the box, and looks inside, gasping and clutching her hand to her chest. She turns back into the room, babbling in some undescipherable portuguese dialect as Silky darts up behind her. As he gets to the door, he's greated by the site of Tempest pulling her boots on over her supple, latex wrapped calfs... the site renders him speechless for a moment, as she strides over and gazes into the box.]

Tempest: [sarcastically]Oh, Silky, how sweet of you to get Carmilla a present!

[She reaches up and pats his cheek, with slightly more than a little slap to the parting pat, then makes her way toward the monitoring station, where the wrestlers watch each other's matches. Silky watches her hips sway down the hall for a moment, his hands on his hips in disgust. His attention is then drawn back to the plump, elderly woman fawning over him and clutching his panties to her chest.]

Carmilla: Agradeça-o, você considerável novo homem!

Silky: [With barely masked disgust] Yeah, de nada. Get two more pair and they might actualy fit.

[And with that, Silky storms off toward his own room, uninterested in sitting with the others.]

Tim: Folks, stay with us - we'll be right back...

[Commercials]

Jeff: Now, that was a great matchup!!

Tim: I'm suprirsed you liked it you stinky cumstain.

Jeff: Was it something I said?

Tim: Anyway - the Steel Cage Survivor Series match is next.

Jeff: When both members of the team hit the floor your team wins! This is gunna be exciting - no tags or nuthun!

[A funky wah-wah guitar rif bumps out of the PA....The words "Sir... Psycho... Sexy!!!" flash on screen as they are anounced by a loud electronic voice, as the chorus of the Red Hot Chili Peppers song of the same name plays out.]

Jeff: A long, long, long long time a go...before the rain...before the snow....lived a man, lived a man...

Tim: God damnit Jeff, could you STOP singin' his stinkin' theme music each week?

[Clips of Silky lounging in bed, scantily clad women crawling all over like ferets hopped up on ecstacy... Walking out to get his mail in a gold thong... delivering his arsenal of moves on a plethora of opponents. Silky bursts through the curtain to the accompanyment of many a cat call and hollar... Silky does a deep double bicep pose, then continues to strut his way to the ring. When he gets close enough, he bursts through the door of the cage and then, using the top rope for leverage, flips over into the ring, dramatically swings his arms, spins into the center of the ring, and hits another pose to the accompanyment of a four corner-pyro-fountain. He stands and begins to slide off his jacket, pausing only to cast a dismissive glance toward his tag team partner - before waiting for his opponent.]

Jeff: SILKY SILKY! He's our man, if he can't do it...no-one can!!

Tim: You're way too obsessed....I bet you'll be like that too later with Phoenix is here.

Jeff: Well, anyway the team of Silky and Fuckhead are in.....and the other team is left!

[All of a sudden - all of the lights go out in the entire arena and the first slow chords of "Be Quiet and Drive" from the Deftones starts to play over the speaker system. A few fans of the Deftones start to cheer - but the rest of the crowd is silent - until the slideshow-esque entrance starts. Strobe Lights are turned up and it looks like a Black-and-white movie as The Lost Soul comes down the walkway in a very dark green coat that comes down to his knees - buttoned up all the way to his neck - and the collar coming over to just about below his ears. His long red hair flows down behind the coat - and barely underneath it do you see a dark ruby shirt that is very tight - showing his muscles well. His pants are a simply dark blue khaki - and he wears 64 eye black boots down to the ring. His eyes are a light blue - you can almost see through them but something prevents you - as The Lost Soul reaches the ring and enters through the cage. The scar the runs across the right side of his face - and down to his ear is clearly evident of something that happened in his past - as he has been reborn for the second time. The strobe lights keep flashing as he leans up against the second rope and taunts the crowd - but they don't boo him as much as the norm.]

Tim: I'm worried about Soul. He's been out of it ever since Phoenix was revealed as the real Kidnapper behind the Trey scene...

Jeff: Yeah, he used to be badass....he's loopy as, now.

Tim: And Stalker is all we're waitin' for....

[The sound of wind is heard followed by the sound of a guitar. The lights dim to a dull red color, the color of dried blood. A chill runs through crowd as a single flame appears in the center of the stage. As the song picks up, the flame grows and grows. Suddenly as the song picks up fully, the stage explodes in gray and black pyrotechnics. As the smoke clears, the flame remains on the stage as Night Stalker, clad in a black trenchcoat and black sunglasses, walks out. He walks to the flame and blows it out then walks down the ramp. He stops right next to Tempest, who seems a bit shocked at her big defeated foe - as Stalker lets her have a huge verbal muggin. Then like nothing has happened, Stalker turns away and climbs the ring steps and enters through the door of the cage and into the ring. Davison who has been watching him all the way down springs into action in defense of his soon-to-be, Silky helps out too as he doesn't like anyone...ELSE...ribbin' on Tempest.]

Tim: He just gave poor Tempest a serve!

Jeff: Serves her right!!

Tim: Goddamnit your lame.....

[Davison quickly clubs down onto Stalker's back as Silky sticks in the boots. Soul is watching on, but doesn't react straight away. When he does however, Silky is ready. Silky catches Soul and rams his head into the cage, Soul goes down and rolls under the ring on where the apron is...he lies there....Silky returns to bash up Stalker. Davison climbs the ropes, and looks like he's about to splash down on Stalker. But, as he reaches the top - Silky picks Stalker, to the dismay of Davison; and whips Stalker into the ropes, and as he springs back, lifts him as in a Farooq style spine buster, so Chris thinks fast and launches himself off the top turnbuckle in a high missile dropkick to the face, causeing him to land awkwardly as Silky spikes him down.]

Jeff: WOW! You think that was on purpose?

Tim: I dunno - but it went off. Total Hard Foundation-esque that was...these guys would make a good team

Jeff: Silky can make ANYONE....a good team member...when you're as good as him, you can make a team look good by just stickin' your partner in the corner and doin' all the work yourself - that's why I think Tempest should join him!!

[Soul still hasn't moved - he seems really out of it.]

Jeff: I still am worried about Soul, he hasn't done a god damn thing, and he seems highly distracted.

[Silky and Davison then go for their attack on Stalker once more. The pick him up and both push him back against the ropes, they then use all their might to whip him across the ring. As he comes back they try for a double clothesline, but Stalker ducks down REAL low and goes under it...he then comes back and flies with a huge double clothesline - sendin' the SilkyDavison team down onto their backs! Stalker then gets up and grabs Davison before making him eat cage with a huge slingshot catapult!]

Tim: Stalker's doing it all....Soul's nowhere to be found...

Jeff: Actually, Soul still hasn't moved from that cage shot.

[Stalker doesn't follow up - instead he goes over to the downed Soul, and helps him back up. Soul seems to prefer to lye on his back, but he does agree to help. As the two turn around - they're met with Silky and Davison with snychronical dropkicks sending Soul crashing BACK over the ropes and onto the apron. Stalker just stumbles backwards and holds up on the ropes. Silky and Davison grabs Stalker again and whip him into the ropes. Soul starts to get up and starts to climb back through the ropes, but as Stalker returns he ducks another double clothesline attempt and crashes into Soul who was halfway through the ropes!]

Jeff: Ooooh, that's bad. Soul has no idea where he is.

[Stalker stumbles backwards - holding his groin as it seems Soul's head just got Wood. Silky then waistlocks Stalker, and begins to bring him up, as Davison sprints past him, hitting the ropes and coming back with a thunderous diving clothesline, snapping Soul backwards in a vicious spiked German Suplex onto the crown of his skull.]

Tim: More Hart Foundation for ya!!

Jeff: These guys are honestly working really well - as much as I hate that little Earwax.

Tim:....who? Silky?

[Lost Soul finally gets in the ring, and he grabs SIlky from behind. He spins Silky around, and locks on a verticle suplex, he suplexes him over, but SIlky easilly flips out of the loose hold. Soul spins around, and blocks a Silky punch, he then goes for a huge knife edge chop - but it doesn't even phase Silky. Soul looks at his wrist.....like.... "His power level is down" before he takes another Sensou Bean so he can power up. Erm, scuse the Dragon Ball reference. In reality he looks worried, and tries again - Silky blocks this one and delvers a side-knee/thigh to the guts, doubling the bigger man over. Silky then pushes him backwards and knocks his head off with a huge Show Stoppa [Shuffle Sidekick]!]

Jeff: I think Soul just did a backflip of joy!!

Tim: Gosh, you think he's that happy - happy to recieve a boot to his face of that velocity? I don't think so...Tim.

Jeff: Nice Home Improvement reference, I wish I hadda though of that one.

[Silky then starts to climb the cage, as Davison continues his assault on Stalker. Stalker grabs Davison's legs mid-kick though, and spins him around before T-Bone DDTing him to the mat. Stalker then beats down on him as Silky is halfway up the cage. Silk turns around, and sigh's at Davison...before he yells at Stalker. Stalker turns around as Silky FLIES off the turnbuckle - he lands on Stalker's shoulders before 'Gigalo Guilotine'ing him to the mat in a HUGE offensive move!!]

Jeff: WHAT A FUCKING MOVE!!

Tim: He actually saved Davison's ass then...

Jeff: Naw, I think he just wanted to smash up Stalker some more.

[Soul runs in now to help his partner, but Davison gets up and cuts him off. Soul belly-to-bellys Davison over, very loosly...again....and Davison easily rolls out of it.]

Tim: Something REALLY is wrong with Soul, that was a HUGEly weak move.

Jeff: I'd hate to agree...but you're right!

Tim: Oh my god...Jeff's agreed with me...

[Stalker holds his face, as Silky turns his attention to Soul. Soul turns to look at Davison, who he just 'suplexed', which allows Silky to PUSH Soul forwards. This causes Soul to stumble right into the arms of Davison, who pushes him BACK. Silky then half pushes him forwards before Soul's head is sandwhiched between synchronized Shuffle Sidekicks! Soul collapses down like he just got TKO'd in a THQ/AKI Nintendo 64 Wrestlin' game!!]

Jeff: Holy crapitis. Soul's head has been crushed!

[Stalker comes back up now, and spins Silky around. He quickly plants a kick to Silky's guts...and delivers a deadly Evenflow Implant DDT!!]

Tim: Light of Dawn so soon?

Jeff: Well, it is....[checks watch]...

Tim: You idiot...aren't you even worried that Silky just recieved Stalker's move?

Jeff: Oh shit!! DAMN YOU STALKER...DAMN YOU!!

[Silky doesn't even move - his head probably denting the mat. Davison turns around, and Stalker is furious. Stalker whips Davison in the ropes and catches him in an unarage. He throws him up and around, while turning 180 before kickin' his leg forward and bringing it back and delivering a 180 Turn STO with EXTREME impact on the back of Davison's head. Stalker then starts to climb the cage to the outside.]

Tim: SHIT - this could be over so soon!

[Davison and Silky are now up - and look a bit pissed. Soul comes in to distract them, but Davison hits the Backlash on Soul sending him BACK to the mat. Silky and Davison look at each other, then climb their fastest to catch up to Stalker who's got a leg up on the top rope. Soul lies on his back looking up at the three men - holding his arm up as if he's trying to grab them...like pickin' an apple from a tree. Stalker is up on the top, and looks to be ready to climb down.....but Davison and Silky grab his legs...not allowing him to descend. Davison and Silky get to the top and start double brawling with Stalker, they get the upper hand before they powerbomb him, letting him fall twelve feet down onto the cold concrete below. Silky raises his arms, as does Davison as the crowd goes nuts.]

Jeff: Well...Stalker's been the first to exit the cage...let's see if his partner can now exit so they can win the match...[Bursts into Sarcastic Laughter!]

Tim: What? Have Silky and Davison put aside their differences?

[As Tim says that, Davison turns and kicks Silky in the stomach, grabbing his head before Silky can fall. Standing twelve feet up, Davison nails the Halo Jump from twelve feet up!]

Tim: HOLY SHIT!

Jeff: That answer your question?

[With both Davison and Silky out of the cage, the bell rings, signalling victory.]

Jeff: DAMNIT. DAMN THAT CHEAP BASTARD DAVISON TO HELL!

[Tempest then helps her guy up...as Davison and Tempest slowly exit to the back. Lost Soul remains on his back in the ring, not looking pissed off. Silky then opens and eyelid - he sees Tempest helping Davison to the back, he then looks up at the Extream Screen and sees Davison Halo Jumping himself OFF THE CAGE - in a role reversal of the platform Halo Jump from last week! Silky then chucks a HHH-esque fit, before it cuts into commercials.]

[Commercials]

Tim: Well Jeff, I've been told that we've gotten a hold of some backstage footage that was taped secretly earlier today.

Jeff: I wasn't told about any backstage stuff? Let's see what it is...

[We cut to the Extream Screen to be shown backstage footage that was caught on tape earlier today. It appears that David Zakin and Gavin Coens are in the back conversing about something.... ]

Zakin: Alright, so you understand exactly what's going down then, right? All you have to do is stay back here and not get involved. Then I can get my win and get my career back on track. I'm sick of being the new Jack Daddy, even he's being given a chance to shine!

Gavin: Don't worry bro, I'll make sure everything goes according to plan ok? As long as you pay me the green, then I'll never be seen. And that's the honest to Gavin truth.

[Zakin pulls a roll of $100's out of his pocket and counts them out to Gavin. He hands over the cash and Gavin smiles warmly...]

Gavin: Excellent, this is the easiest Grand I've ever made. Why don't u go get ready for your triple threat Mr.Zakin?

Zakin: Good, now just stick to the plan. I'll see you later Gavin.

[The scene fades to black as we cut back to the announcer's table...]

Tim: What the hell was that all about?

Jeff: I'm not sure but if Zakin's handing out cash then maybe I should get back there and, errr.... check things out?

Tim: Sit your ass down little man! Here come the first competitor for the House Rules match.

["Living in Chaos" by Offspring echoes throughout the building, the crowd delivering a mixed reaction, some cheers some boos. Looking around the crowd signs with "Feel The Intensity" and "Styles For Smackdown! Champion" as well as ones such as "Styles wrestles bad" and "Intensity sucks more cock than Lance Sterling." The camera continues to scale the crowd when the booing and cheering picks up, and the camera turns back to show Styles has emerged from the entrance and is standing at the top of the ramp, pushing a blue plastic garbage can. Stopping at the top Styles looks left, right, then straight when yellow, silver, and white pyro-techniques explode all around him. As the smoke from the pyro-techniques die down Styles emerges through the remaining fog, still punching the garbage can. Styles allows the can to slide towards the ring, catching up to it and lifting it into the ring, rolling in behind it. Styles stands in the middle of the ring with the can taking in the sounds of the crowd. Motioning for a mic, Styles is thrown one by a ring side attendant]

Styles: Well, another week another Yankee town. At least this week we haven't been shipped off to some redneck county in Texas. Anyway, I know you can see some of the contents of my garbage can here but allow me to introduce you all to my three weapons and some of there uses.

[Small pop at the mention of weapons]

Styles: First, we have a classic weapon you all love and I take to nearly every match. The good ol' barbed wire wrapped hockey stick. Uses, can be used in baseball swing style to knock the opponent to the ground but can also be used as a body piercing mechanism. Always a great choice when attempting to induce pain upon your opponent, and one of my personal favorites.

Styles: Oh, and next we have another great weapon. (pulls chair out of garbage can) Another classic, the steel chair with the well placed pack of C4 on the underbelly. Hey this shit won me my match next week, so of course I am going to bring it. Despite how well this weapon works it is not my best for the match. That I have saves for last.

[Styles makes a sort of drum roll sound with his mouth into the mic as he fake drums with his hands]

Styles: And the finish weapon on my behalf for this weeks house rules match is..(dramatic pause)..a boom box, but that is not all. Within the boom box I have placed Jonathan Storm's "So-Cal Christmas" CD, just cause I know how much everyone like it.

[Styles reaches into the can pulling out the boom box and placing it in a corner, pressing the play button and cranking the volume]

Styles: Ahh, this CD will continue to play until somehow, someway the boom box has been destroyed in some manner. But I have no worries that any of my opponent will bother being big Jon Storm fans and all, haha, lets gets this thing under way.

[Styles tosses the mic out of the ring to a ring attendant and takes a seat in one of the corners, pulling his garbage can to the corner with him]

Tim: It looks like Mr. Intensity is ready for this match up.

Jeff: Yea it also looks as if he's lost his belt again. For Gavin's sake pull up your pants!

Tim: Your hilarious Jeff.... here comes Zakin!

[The crowd quiets down and awaits the next person. "Walk" by Kilgore slowly gets louder on the speakers and the crowd gets louder with the music. Finally, the lyrics begin and the crowd sings along. The end of the first chorus ends and then a huge explosion of red fireworks goes off and the crowd gives a large pop. "The Insider" David Zakin emerges through the smoke with Jon E. Karman following closely behind. Zakin has a barbwire wrapped Kendo stick while Karman is holding a barbwire wrapped steel chair. Zakin tells something to Karman and then grins. Karman heads to the back. Karman then comes out with a trash can. Zakin takes off the lid and places the stick inside. He then pulls out a baseball bat with a bowling ball attached to the top! He raises it high in the air and the crowd goes absolutely crazy for the weapons of mass destruction. Karman sticks the chair into the can and then Zakin picks it up and carries it to the ring. Zakin climbs up the steel steps and then tosses the can over the top rope. The weapons spill out all over the ring and Zakin then hops up on the top turnbuckle. He raises his arms high in the air and generates a nice pop.]

Tim: Zakin's shown up with some great weapons himself! Now this is starting to get interesting. I can't wait to see what Gavin and Tempest bring!

Jeff: I bet you can't sicko.

Tim: What the hell are you talking about?

Jeff: You know damn well what I'm referring to. ...sicko.

Tim: Whatever, here comes Tempest next!

[The low electronic hum that begins the Lo-Fideltiy All-Stars' "Battle Flag wafts over the arena as the lights go out, but for a few blue strobes, flickering over the crowd in time. As the heavier beat kicks in, the blue spot light scans the entrance, and up the HWF-tron to find Tempest as she skips out onto the stage and waves to the roaring crowd. She laughs and starts to skip down to the ring in a dark blue PVC body suit, with a strange metallic belt that looked like two rounds of thin cable, but with a loop through which it was tied. From the belt dangled a small black pouch, and in her hands, she carried a SuperSoaker.]

Jeff: You have GOT to be kidding me! She hasn't got any weapons!

Tim: Uh, maybe hers are under the ring or something.

[Tempest jogs up the steps and leaps to the top of the turnbuckles with an annoyed glance at the table propped against it. She brandishes her SuperSoaker and then flips back over the table and lands in the ring smiling. The ref asks her what weapons she has and she motions to the water gun and her belt. It's easy enough to read his lips as he says, "Are you sure?" Then he points to the pouch and she removes from it... a shiny metallic green yo-yo.]

Jeff: Oh my Gavin... THOSE are the weapons she brought? She's gonna get slaughtered! Wait a minute, that's not such a bad thing.

Tim: Hey! But... well you're right about one thing, Tempest's choice of weapons are frighteningly... inept.

[Zakin begins to snicker to himself as he notices Tempest's choice of weapons. Styles begins to smile but is quickly cut off as he gains his composure and focuses in on the fight at hand.]

Jeff: And next is the Messiah of the HWF, Gavin Coens!

Tim: Messiah? Says who?

Jeff: His Mom says he's the Messiah all the time?

Tim: And what's her name? Mary?

[Suddenly "Heavy" by Collective Soul begins to kick in over the PA System, the lights dim down and blue strobe lights begin to engulph the crowd. A few moments go by... but still no Gavin! The music continues until the referee motions to the stagehand to cut it. The ref turns towards the announcers and shrugs his head in disbelief, he calls for the bell and the match begins...]

Jeff: So that's why Zakin paid Gavin that money! He wanted Gavin to no show the match so he'd have a better chance of winning!

Tim: And you're supposed to be the quick one?

Jeff: ...ass.

[ The bell rings as the three competitors begin to measure each other up. Suddenly an anxious Styles begins to rush towards Zakin only to be caught with a quick powerslam bringing him down to the mat. Zakin begins to get back to his feet only to be caught with a bulldog by Tempest. Zakin hits the mat hard and rolls towards the outside, but he stays on the apron. Tempest gets back to her feet and notices that Styles is only now getting upright. She grabs Styles by the hand and irish whips him towards the table that is arched up in the corner adjescent to where Zakin is lying on the apron. Luckily for Styles though he puts on the brakes and teeters before the table. Tempest begins to pout but quickly takes a running start at the off balance Styles. Styles turns back to face Tempest just as she dives into the air and performs a front flip landing her "backside" on Styles chest a la Molly Holly. This sends Styles into the table in an awkward position, and Tempest with him. Zakin notices the window of opportunity and climbs to the top of the turnbuckle in front of both Tempest and Styles. Tempest begins to get back up just as Zakin jumps off the top turnbuckle and nails her with a Buff Blockbuster! Zakin rolls back over towards Tempest and attempts an early pin...]

1... 2... Kick out!

Tim: Wow, quite an impressive exchange so early in the contest Jeff!

Jeff: And it seems like Zakin is starting to use his head more than his talents in the ring. This could pay off for the youngster. Of course we should remind everyone that there needs to be a pin of 5, and then the competitor has another count of 10 to make it to their feet before this battle is decided.

[ Zakin and Tempest are both at their feet now, Tempest nails a quick punch to Zakin's temple, which sends Zakin staggering back a little. Tempest leaps for a dropkick, but Zakin ducks and she lands hard. He scoops her up for a slam, but she grabs his waist and curls under his arm. He tries to drop backward onto her, but she rolls away at the last second. As he lands she leaps for the ropes and springboards off the top. She snags his neck between her knees and flips around in a corkscrew hurricanrana that slams him into the table in the nearest corner. It shatters and she rolls over and hooks his leg...]

1... 2... Kick out!

[ Styles, now up to his feet, grabs a hold of Tempest's hair and brings her up to her feet. He begins to hammer away at her with a flurry of quick punches sending her staggering back towards Zakin's garbage can. Styles winds up and nails a huge punch that whips Tempest around 180 degrees. Styles locks on a full nelson and lifts her up, he brings her down hard ontop of the garbage can with a Full Nelson Slam! Tempest begins to grab her back in pain. Meanwhile Zakin has made his way to the outside of the ring and he is searching underneath the apron. After a few moments he pulls out yet another table! The crowd goes nuts as he sets it up on the outside. Meanwhile Styles has brought Tempest back up to her feet again. Styles whips Tempest into the ropes and catches her into a scoop slam on the way back. As she rolls around, She loosens her cable/belt and stands. Styles raises hockey stick wrapped in barbed wire, and Tempest leaps away backing up and away. She jumps over a fallen table and springs into a somersault plancha. But in the air, she slips the cable loose and comes down with it looped around Styles' neck. She falls over the ropes yanked down and choking him!! ]

Jeff: What the hell is that vixen doing? Chocking isn't allowed!

Tim: It's a no DQ House Rules match you moron! Everything is allowed!

Jeff: If Gavin was here this wouldn't be happening!

Tim: You're right! If Gavin were here we'd probably be asleep by now! So why don't you shut up and call the match?!?

Jeff: You didn't have to get so snippy about it *sniff*

[ Zakin slides in quickly to break up the choke hold by Tempest with a quick boot to the face. He grabs a hold of her hair and drags her over towards the side of the ring where he set up the table earlier. However, Tempest isn't so willing to be dragged just anywhere. She drops to her knees and nails Zakin with a low blow! Zakin crings in pain and begins to cover his crotch. Tempest quickly grabs the back of Zakin's head and puts him in position for another bulldog. Instead though, she leaps backwards in a backflip and nails Zakin's head down with a Mat Slam!! ]

Tim: Did you see that? It's was the Rottweiller! What an amazing move!

Jeff: Much better than the Crouching Tiger Hidden Powerpuff girl move she does.

Tim: You don't do much research coming into matches do you Jeff?

Jeff: What purpose would that serve? I know the chick's name.

Tim: She's going for the pin!

1.... 2 ...3 ....4 ...broken up by Styles!

[ Styles grabs a hold of Tempest's legs and pulls her off of Zakin's body. He readies himself as he clutches hard onto her thighs. He places her in a wheelbarrow position and lifts her up with all of his might, only to bring her neck down upon the top rope!! Tempest falls to the floor and begins to clutch her neck, which has now gone red!! ]

Tim: What strength by Styles! There's an intelligent ring worker!

Jeff: Impotent Singing Porker? What? I thought I said no fat chicks!

Tim: Suddenly I want to punch you.

[ Styles tries for a pin, but a resiliant Tempest kicks out after 2! Styles gets to his feet and shows immediate anger! He grabs a hold of the hockey stick wrapped in barbed wire and begins to talk towards a fall Zakin. Styles begins to go to town on Zakin who is just laying there taking in the beating. Styles begins to breathe heavily and as grabs a hold of Zakin's hair and stands him up. Styles grabs a hold Zakin and lifts him up vertically, suddenly he crashes down to the ground with Zakin on top of him! Tempest took out his knee from behind!! She lays there, neck only getting redder, but a devilish smile overcomes her as she laughs softly to herself. "That'll teach him" can be read off her lips. ]

Tim: It looks like Tempest almost enjoyed getting a little revenge?

Jeff: Maybe the wild cat has a darkside afterall? Wreor!

Tim: Can you even go 3 minutes without making an ass out yourself?

[ In the ring Zakin and Tempest are getting to their feet. Zakin favoring his chest, and Tempest favoring her neck. Zakin swings , but Tempest ducks and slides under his arm. She tucks into a roll and rolls all the way to the far corner where she snatches up the Super Soaker and aims at him. His expression of ridicule disappears only when she fires.]

Jeff: Oh yeah, shoot him with a water gun, that's really gonna take him out. Sheesh...

Tim: Wait a minute, what's that smell.

[Zakin screams and claws at his face. His eyes are clamped shut and watering heavily as her staggers around, while Tempest leaps up and taps him on the shoulder. He swings, but she ducks laughing. He follows the sound and swings again, but she moves and leaps over the ropes to the apron.]

Tim: Vinegar! She filled the thing up with vinegar!

Jeff: Eww, that stuff stinks!

Tim: Yeah, but it stings too. Brilliant!

[Tempest scales the turnbuckle on the outside and balances her self holding the edge of the table. She yells to Zakin and he turns, just in time for her to launch herself, holding th edge of the table. She flies over him and brings the table crashing down on top of him. However before Tempest can take advantage of her quick thinking Styles attacks her from behind landing a double axe hammer to her back! He locks her into a front chancery and lifts her up vertically above his own head. He turns to face the only remaining table, he begins to walk towards it and then throws her down with force into the remaining table!! Tempest if folded up like an accordian!!]

Jeff: Oh my Gavin! How could that frail little object of desire indure so much pain?

Tim: First Jeff, she's not as frail as you think. Tempest is one tough cookie and she can take as much as she can dish out. And secondly, when did you get such a poetic sense of words?

Jeff: I guess I'm just a sucker for sick table spots?

Tim: Awww... that's nice Jeff.

[ Styles is about to go for the cover but is caught off guard from behind by Zakin! Zakin quickly throws Styles between the ropes and crashing to the outside! Zakin then tries for a quick cover! ]

One.... Two... Three.. Four... Fiv..No! Kickout!

[ Tempest kicks out at the last possible second, once again bearing that smile of satisfaction she had earlier. Zakin, showing signs of anger like Styles before him, decides to take the fight to the outside. He grabs a hold of his kendo stick wrapped in barbwire and slides underneath the ropes towards Styles. Styles is up to his feet and sees Zakin coming. He takes a small charge towards Zakin but is met with the butt-end of the kendo stick to the gut. Zakin winds up above his head and brings the kendo stick down hard on Styles' back, sending Styles to the floor. He begins to wail on Styles' back, most likely remembering the beating Styles laid upon him a few minutes earlier. Soon Tempest gains her composure and notices what's happening on the outside of the ring. She stands to her feet and runs towards the opposite ropes in order to gain some speed. She bounces off the ropes and is gaining speed as she leaps between the ropes for a suicide dive, only to be met with a SHOT FROM THE KENDO STICK! Zakin saw what Tempest was up to and was completely prepard for it! Tempest goes down hard to the concrete floor and begins to bleed from her forehead. The blood begins to stain the concrete floor as EMT's begin to rush out to ringside. ]

Jeff: Hellfire and Brimstone Tim!

Tim: Wrong show you idiot! That was the shot heard round the world Jeff, have you nothing to say?

Jeff: Hellfire and Brimstone Tim! Hellfire and Brimstone!!

Tim: It's amazing you still have a job when the HWF owns a monkey who could do so much better.

Jeff: Don't you go bringing up him again Tim!

[ Back to the fight! As Zakin turns back to Styles he's met with a devastating european uppercut that sends him stumbling back a few steps. Styles grabs a hold of Zakin's hair though and pulls him forward sending him into the ring steps with a thunderous THUD! Styles quickly grabs a hold of Zakin and rolls him back into the ring. Zakin makes his way up and the two men begin to exchange punches once more, until Styles ducks one and tucks. Zakin is aware though and nails a quick knee to the face! A sick crack can be heard across the ring as Styles hits the floor. It appears Styles got caught directly above his eye and is now bleeding through a deep cut directly ontop of his eyebrow. Zakin grabs a hold of Styles' arm and drags him over to the corner, laying him out in front of the turnbuckle. Zakin then yells something to Karman. Karman looks around ringside and finds Zakin's steel chair wrapped in barbwire. Karman tosses Zakin and the chair and Zakin carefully catches it. Zakin then places it on the head of Styles. Zakin makes a cut of the throat signal, and begins to scale the turnbuckles. Somehow, Tempest is up, but she is staggering. As she makes her way to the ring, Gavin Coens comes rushing out of the crowd!!]

Jeff: It's God! He came out of nowhere! He must've used his godly powers to transport himself!!

Tim: Actually he came out from the crowd, I can play back the tape for you.

Jeff: Quiet Mortal! You have no idea who we're dealing with here!

[ Gavin hops over the security railing and runs after Tempest. She climbs up the apron in front of the table that was set up earlier by Zakin. Gavin is able to catch up to Tempest, he grabs her by the waist and tucks his head underneath he legs, he then send her through the table with a huge powerbomb! Tempest crashes through the table and hits hard onto the concrete. Meanwhile inside the ring, Zakin has scaled the turnbuckles and takes his leap into the air. Zakin stretches out with a perfectly executed Insider Splash and comes down hard directly onto the chair ontop of Styles' head!! He bounces off with the chair sticking tightly to his tights. Zakin and Styles both begin to scream in pain. Gavin slides into the ring and drags Zakin's arm over Styles' chest. The ref drops down and begins to make the count...]

1...2...3...4...5!!

[The ref waits for the ten second time limit to pass...]

7...8...9...10! Zakin wins! Zakin wins!

[Zakin is now crouched in the corner holding onto his waist, as the referee holds his arm up in victory. Gavin slides out of the ring and begins to make his way back, but is interupted by Zakin's voice. It appears Zakin has asked for a mic and has a little somthing to say to Gavin...]

Zakin: Gavin! What the fuck do you think you are doing?! I thought I told you to stay out of this match? Hell, that's what I paid you for right?

[ Begins to breath heavy. Zakin finally swallows and continues ]

Zakin: You're quite lucky that you don't have to face Tempest and Styles next week in a House Rules match.Though you interfered, you were still part of the match. So, in other words, you didn't do anything but screw up the match! Next week, me and you. Whatever stips you want you got. Me and you, one on one. You game?

[ Gavin, turns around slowly with a shocked look on his face. He slowly makes his way back towards the ring, as he calls for a mic. Gavin slides into the ring and is met by the ring announcer who hands him a mic...]

Gavin: Let me get this straight? You're mad because I got you a win? Do you know how long it's been since you're had a "W' etched in your records? You're just damn lucky I decided to help out a pity case like yourself! Did you really think I needed the Grand? What am I? Poor? A commoner? You obviously have no idea who you're dealing with, so maybe I'll take you up on your offer to get a little more personal. You want it? You got it. You and I will go head to head next week... I'll name the stips sometime during the week ...if you're lucky.

[ Gavin looks towards the announcer's table...]

Gavin: This is what I get for being a nice guy Jeff! Can you believe this?

[Gavin drops the mic, and begins to walk towards the ropes. He suddenly changes course and charges towards Zakin who is still lying in the corner. He begins to stomp away at Zakin's stomach yelling "You fucking charity case! I tried to help you!". Gavin lands a final blow to the head and then jumps through the ropes and to the outside. He makes his way to the back.]

Jeff: Y'know what?

Tim: What!?!

Jeff: I REALLY can't beileve this!!

Tim: Whatever... commercials, please?

[Commercials]

Tim: Alright, welcome back folks...

Jeff: The Hardcore Title is on the line, right now!!

[The lights in the arena slowly fade as the fans come to an abrupt silence. The lights are completely out and the arena is pitch black. Then, a red spotlight shines on the top of the aisle. Starting at the bottom of the aisle, and continuing to the top, fireworks go off, and as soon as they hit the top, "Thunder Underground" by Ozzy Osbourne blares over the speakers. The crowd cheers and some hold up lighters in the near dark, as the lights return and Renegade comes out from the back. He looks at the fans and raises his arms, then walks down the aisle and gets into the ring as the music fades.]

Tim: Renegade's first... he's been a long time frotn runner in the Hardcore division. Maybe tonight's the night he'll finally get the gold...

Jeff: Or, maybe not...

["Original Prankster" by The Offspring hits over the arena as the fans get to their feet. Chants echo threw the entire arena, when just at the climax of the song "The Original Prankster" himself comes down to the ring! JD Brady walks out, and then goes back into the backstage area like he forgot something. When he comes back out he is carrying a dumpster! Brady pushes it down towards the ring and stops it. JD jumps into the ring and pulls a mic out of his pocket as he begins to speak.]

JD Brady: My rematch. It's been awhile but I'm getting it, and I deserve it. This little punk named Rage, a rookie who hit what I am going to call as ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL moves I've ever received...so I'll have to give that to him. An Inverted DVD onto a steal chair which has a C4 explosive on it can never be good. And after that shot and after I heard the referees hand go down for the 1, 2, 3, something came over me.

[Fans are listening closely as Brady is trying to be a serious as he can.]

JD Brady: Because once I lost the title I stayed strong inside because I knew it was only a title but not my life, but the HWF IS my life. There isn't another thing in this world that comes anywhere close when it comes to the HWF. And once I lost that title after only 6 days I wasn't sure if I was going to continue in the HWF.

[Fans seem shocked, as they are hoping they don't hear what sounds like it may be coming.]

JD Brady: Retirement became an issue and I wasn't sure if I wanted to retire or if I should continue, wait for my rematch, and show Rage what this business is really all about.

[Dramatic Pause.]

JD Brady: And I'm here tonight to win back my title!

[Fans cheer.]

JD Brady: So Rage, this is my match. Our first match was your match, but is mine. Now get down here, I'm ready to get my title back.

[Brady throws the mic out of the ring as he waits Rage to come out.]

Jeff: JD Brady, what a mo-

[Just then - the sounds of wind rushing is heard through the arena, as the temperature drops down in the building..giving an eerie, chilling atmosphere. Smoke starts to flow out of the entranceway. Suddenly, you hear...]

[With that, Green Jelly's "Orange Krunch" hits the speakers. After a moment of letting the music blast, Rage walks out of the back, head facing down. He walks to the edge of the ramp, and just stands there with his head down and his hair hanging over his face, letting the music play. Suddenly, he snaps his head up and looks directly at the ring, and starts walking towards it with a purpose. . . never taking his eyes off the ring. When he gets to the ring, Rage stops at ringside and just stares into it. After a brief moment, he reaches up and grabs the second rope, and climbs up onto the apron. Rage then steps into the ring, and starts slowly walking around it, taking notice of everything around him. Finally, he walks over to a corner of the ring, hops up on the top turnbuckle, sits there, and waits as his music gradually fades.]

Jeff: Rage has really gotten off to a good start in the HWF, winning the Hardcore Title in his first month here.

Tim: Yeah, but can he keep it up?

Jeff: Let's find out...

[Rage, Renegade, and Brady all stand in their respective corners, just staring at each other. Suddenly, Rage turns to the side and dropkicks Brady right in the knee. Brady falls down and Renegade dashes at Rage and clotheslines him to the mat. Rage quickly rolls out of the ring, as Brady gets up to low blow Renegade. Renegade slumps over and Brady pushes him to the outside of the ring. Renegade quickly gets up and begins brawling with Rage. The two trade punches for a good 15 seconds, with neither man showing weakness. Suddenly, from inside the ring, JD Brady springboards to the outside and takes out both men.]

Tim: HUGE Springboard Body Press by 'The Original Prankster'.

Jeff: This one has already spilled to the outside...

[The ref dives to the outside, as Brady lifts up Renegade and begins dragging him up the entrance way. They reach the top and begin brawling right under the Extream Screen. Brady pokes Renegade in the eye, causing Renegade to fall back towards the edge. Brady yells out, and then charges at Renegade. Brady attempts a clothesline of some sort, but Renegade catches him in a press slam.]

Tim & Jeff: Uh oh...

[Renegade stands with Brady over his head, and parades around the entrance way a little bit. Rage gets up and runs at Renegade, but halts when he sees what he's doing. Renegade faces the crowd, takes a few steps, and then throws Brady's body into the mass of fans at the San Jose Arena!!]

Tim: PRESS SLAM INTO THE CROWD!! PRESS SLAM INTO THE CROWD!!

Jeff: What god-like power by Renegade!!

[Renegade smirks as Brady's body begins getting passed around the arena. Suddenly, Rage comes into the shot and spears Renegade down hard on the metal ramp. Rage begins unleashing a fury of punches down on Renegade's head. Rage pulls Renegade up to his feet, and locks on a front chancery. He throws Renegade's near arm over his shoulder and then hoists him up for a suplex. He stalls Renegade in midair and then drops him down VERY, VERY HARD with a brainbuster. The crowd gasps, as Rage tries for the early pin.]

Tim: What ... a ... BRAINBUSTER!!

[One... ...Two... ...THR...KICKOUT!!]

Jeff: Whew, that one was too close.

[Brady finally gets dropped out of the crowd near ringside, as Rage starts to stomp on Renegade's motionless body. Rage suddenly dashes into the backstage area. The cameras cut to Brady, who's starting to dig underneath the apron.]

Tim: Jeff, look over there!!

[The crowd erupts as Rage emerges from the back with, at least, a 15 foot ladder. He slowly but surely sets the ladder up parallel to the Extream Screen, and then begins stomping on Renegade once again. Renegade slowly fights his way up. Rage attempts a kick, but Renegade catches his foot and pulls him into a clothesline. Rage flops down hard, as Renegade this time stumbles into the backstage area. The crowd erupts again, as Renegade emerges with a table.]

Jeff: These guys are really bringing out the hardware here tonight.

Tim: You said it!

[Renegade sets up the table parallel to the Extream Screen, about 5 feet from the ladder. Renegade then goes back to work on Rage. Renegade picks up Rage and slaps on a standing head scissors. He tugs at Rage's abdomen and then slams him down hard with a powerbomb. Renegade looks over at the ladder and table, but then decides to try for a pin.]

Jeff: Could that be enough?

[One.. ...Two... ...THR...KICKOUT!!]

[Renegade pounds his fist on the entrance way and then lifts up Rage by the hair. He brings him over to the ladder, but is suddenly hit with a wodden basball bat from behind. Renegade collapses as Brady appears in the shot with the bat. Rage tumbles to the ground as well, as Brady begins laying into both men with the bat. Brady manhandles Renegade to his feet and places the bat across Renegade's throat. Renegade tries to struggle free, but Brady drops him backwards with a bat-choking legsweep.]

Tim: OH!! What innovation!!

Jeff: Special Delivery!!

Tim: JD Brady has really comeback in this match!!

[Brady stands up and throws the bat aside. He then grabs Rage by the hair and begins pulling him up the ladder. The get just about even with the lower rigging of the Extream Screen and begin duking it out. Rage gains control and levels Brady hard, sending him flying back onto the rigging of the Extream Screen. Rage then dives off onto the rigging himself.]

Jeff: No matter how many times we tell these guys to stay off the rigging, they keep climbing back up there!!

Tim: Of course, they love to break the rules...

Jeff: Well, if they have to break rules to break bones, then I say - Let them go!!

[Rage begins raining down on Brady with rights and lefts, as Renegade begins climbing up the ladder after both men. Renegade finally gets near the top of the ladder, and hops off onto the rigging himself.]

Tim: Now, this is dangerous...

[Renegade sneaks up behind Rage and clubs him in the back of his neck. Rage slowly turns around, and attempts a clothesline. Renegade ducks and then catches him around the throat. The fans begin to stir as Renegade yells out loudly. Renegade lifts up Rage for a chokeslam and then throws him back into the ladder. The ladder collapses on impact, and Rage rides the metal all the way down to the entrance way; finally impacting with a HUGE bang!!]

Tim: Rage is dead!! He's dead!!

["HO-LY-SHIT, HO-LY-SHIT"]

Jeff: Renegade always delivers these HUGE spots, but can never finish the deal!!

Tim: Perhaps he'll end it tonight... he's no doubt in control right now!!

[Renegade quickly walks over to Brady and lifts him to his feet. Renegade slaps on a standing head scissors and then looks at the table below. He lifts up Brady for a powerbomb, but Brady reverses it in midair and drops Renegade with a modified fameasser right on the steel rigging. Both men dangerously stumble to their feet and face each other again.]

Jeff: These two are crazy!!

[Renegade stumbles over to Brady and attempts a clothesline. Brady ducks, catches Renegade in a half nelson choke hold,and throws him off of the rigging ALL THE WAY DOWN THROUGH THE TABLE BELOW!!]

Tim: OH SHIT!! BRADYPLEXX THROUGH THE TABLE!!

["HO-LY-SHIT, HO-LY-SHIT"]

Jeff: AND OFF OF THAT RIGGING!!

[Brady slowly stands up and looks at the carnage below. He looks around the arena and then dives off the rigging, landing a HUGE splash on top of Renegade. The ref goes down for the pin.]

Tim: That has to be it!!

[One... ...Two... ...THREE!!]

Jeff: New Hardcore Champion!! New Hardcore Champion!!

["Original Prankster" by JD Brady blasts onto the speakers, as Brady rolls off of Renegade. The ref calls for the belt and a ring attendant quickly runs to the top of the ramp to retrieve it for him. The ref hands the belt to Brady, who doesn't even realize what's going on.]

Jeff: What a match!! That was incredible!!

Tim: JD Brady really proved himself here tonight...

Jeff: Yeah, maybe he can hold onto this belt for more than 6 days this time.

Tim: Wait... LOOK OUT BRADY!!

[Brady slowly gets up to his feet, but is suddenly clubbed down to the ground again by Rage. Rage starts stomping on Brady and Renegade, then grabs the bat and begins slamming it down acorss their backs. The bat eventually snaps over Brady's shoulders, and some security comes from the back to pull Rage off. It takes about 5 or 6 guys to pull Rage into the back, as the fans boo a little.]

Tim: Well, it looks like Rage isn't done with the Hardcore division just yet...

Jeff: We'll be back in a flash.

[Commercials]

[As Jonathan Storm is lacing up his boots to get ready to face Kyle Corman, a knock on the door is heard. He keeps continuing to tie his boots, but the person at the door finally just opens it and lets himself in. Walking up to Jon is none other than Shawn Collins.]

Collins: What are you doing?!

Storm: What does it look like? I'm getting ready to kick the crap out of Kyle Corman.

Collins: I mean what were you thinking when you said those things in your hockey promo?!

Storm: Hey Shawn...relax man. Listen, you've known me since I got to the HWF. You know better than anyone that what I said was bullshit. After all, wasn't I trained by one of the best damn Canadian wrestlers? And don't I consider you to be my main man in the sport? C'mon bro...you should know better.

Collins: Yeah...just don't say that shit again, Jon.

Storm: It's a deal, Shawn.

[Cut to the back, specifically the parking lot of the San Jose Arena. A loud revving noise is heard, followed by the unmistakable music of Dope's "Debonaire", as a black motorcyle drives into the building and parks. With the light still on, a figure in a black leather jacket dismounts. He quickly turns off the light, and removes the helmet, revealing for all the face of Lance Sterling. Sterling scoffs and tosses the helmet backwards, where it is quickly caught by an attendant. Sterling walks into the building...]

Tim: And Lance Sterling has just arrived at the arena!

Jeff: THE MAN is here! And he is ready to kick some boo-tay!

Tim: He doesn't have a match, you idiot. He's a guest referee, remember?

Jeff: Oh yeah... but he'll still kick some ass!

Tim: Right.... Kyle Corman... Jonathan Storm... NEXT!

[Commercials.]

[The sound of a gong fills the arena before a very cheesy Japanese theme hits. The crowd becomes silent in the confusion as two men walk out onto the ramp way. The larger of the two men is dressed in all black and has the appearance of a “ninja” its obvious though that the costume was purchase at a department store. The smaller of the men has a painted white face an make-up to exaggerate slanted eyes and a painted on mustache. He resembles in some way the actors in kabuki. The smaller man holds up a mic to his lips and begins to speak in a slow mock Asian accent.]

Smaller Man: Oooooooooooooooooooh-kawasaki son. I am Caleb Jing-Jan-kon-sang-wang-chung Curtis. This stealthy of the stealthiest ninja’s is my partner Gabriel…flying fist of molten hot lava black tiger red snake Jon boy land of the rising sun… Knight.

[The larger man…Gabriel…bows in a mock fighting stance then swings his arms around looks back at Caleb.]

Caleb: We have come to the HWF in search for a team …a team that has disgraced our Asian heritage. A team that knows not of our rising sun bonds with the orient. A team…

[Gabriel interrupts Caleb by grabbing the mic.]

Gabriel: Masta Caleb son…why don’t you get to the damned point.

[Caleb grabs the mic back and rips off some of his costume.]

Caleb: Damn it all to hell Gabe I knew this wouldn’t work. I try to come out here to pick a fight and humilate the other guys but can you be supportive.... no.

Gabriel: Sorry bud buts it just wasn’t working as well as it did when we rehearsed.

Caleb: So now what?

Gabriel: Well we are out here…no sense in wasting our time arguing. Tell em what they want to hear.

Caleb; Alright... short simple to the point. Listen up…me and my buddy gabe over here have sat back and watched The Warriors of the Rising Sun say week after week that their Japanese style is the true hardcore style and they are going to show us all up. Well that pissed me right the f- can I say that?

Gabriel: I guess…

Caleb: Anyway they pissed us off. So we decided to come out here tonight and poke fun at them but it didn’t work out that way. Instead we are gonna lay out a challenge. Warriors..you say your the extreme well when we think extreme we think of blood pain and crazy little midget running around naked. I don’t see any midgets so I’ll settle for the blood and pain. Next week on Suicide we are challenging you two to a bed of nails ladder match! Accept it if you are up to the challenge…I know at least one of you are.

[Caleb drops the mic and the two walk to the back.]

Tim: Caleb and Gabriel? I thought we were all out of new guys...

Jeff: Who cares!?! I like their style!!

[“Debonare” by Dope blasts from the P.A. system the crowd explodes into cheers, and most start to sing along. Silver and gold strobe lights begins to flash around the arena as Lance Sterling walks out from the curtain. He’s wearing a ref’s uniform. Sterling pauses on in front of the curtains for a couple of seconds before slowly walking down the ramp and around the ring, flashing his smile and interacting with the fans at ringside. He climbs into the ring and climbs the upper right-hand turnbuckle, raising both his hands in the air and getting a huge pop from the crowd. As he gets down from the turnbuckle, the music dies down.]

Jeff: Where’s the other ref?

Tim: He’s coming... this is going to be an interesting match.

[The lights fade out, as orange lights start to strobe through the crowd. The voice of Rykopathe mutters out “Cause I'm one step closer...", followed by One Step Closer by Linkin Park blast through the arena. J. Simon Rykopathe emerges from the back to a mix of boos and cheers. With ref uniform and all, Rykopathe gets in the ring, and stares down Lance Sterling. Both men then go to the outside and argue as they wait for the competitors.]

Tim: It’s gonna be intense!

[The lights dim as the opening chords of an unfamiliar song begin to play...unfamiliar to some...but others know it.]

"There's no money
There's no possessions
Only obsession
I don't need that shit
Take my money
Take my obsession"

[When the guitar and drums hit, two shots of pyro fly straight up into the air, and out walks Jonathan Storm! He walks out to the ring in black tearaways and a sleeveless version of his new "Define" t-shirt, carrying a platinum record. Taking the Canadian Title off of Casey's shoulder, he steps into the ring, then holds the ropes for her to enter. He grins as he hops on the ropes, a la Christian and Justin Credible, and holds up the Canadian Title high in the air. He hops down and gets a microphone, ready to speak.]

Jonathan Storm: You know something? I don't care who's been haunting me, I don't care who's been harassing me, because it's time to just start pushing back. Two weeks ago, Lance Sterling came out of nowhere to attack me while I was doing Bisc Li a favor, and nothing is done. So what is a Canadian Champion supposed to do? Simple...make an example. You want attack me now Sterling? Well, you can't now...because you've got that "code of honor" to stick to...so that just means do your damn job, and when I'm done torturing Corman, make the 3 count. Do pay close attention to the match, Lance. After all, if and when I get my hands on you again, it's gonna be the same old story, all over again. After all, when you got...

[Sterling laughs at Storm as the lights go out and an alarm goes off buzzing as the screen lights up with a giant "C" on the left side, then a "K" on the right, followed by the Canadian Mask in the middle, which then rips in half as an explosion of red and while fireworks shoot up in a wall formation along the entrance. "Starseed" by Our Lady Peace then echoes throughout the arena and the "Canadian Kid" Kyle Corman stands emerges from the sea of red and white. Dressed in his black trench coat, lugz boots, and black oakleys, CK begins to walk straight down the aisle to a large pop of the crowd chanting "CK"! Kyle slides under the ring ropes and goes to the far corner and climbs it raising one fist in the air, he jumps back down and with one twirling motion, removes the trench coat, and then places the shades with them.]

Tim: How are Rykopathe and Sterling both going to officiate... and do it fair?

Jeff: They wont! That’s how!

[Corman grabs the Canadian title and looks at it. Storm yells out some vulgarity at both him and Sterling. Rykopathe also yells something out at Sterling. Sterling takes the Canadian Title and holds it up. Rykopathe motions for the bell, and it goes off. Storm immediately strikes Corman with several kicks and punches until Corman is backed into the corner. Storm continues to kick him, while Sterling yells at him to stop. Storm shrugs him off, and Sterling pushes him off Corman telling him something. Storm laughs and pushes Sterling aside as he continues to kick Corman. Sterling gets angry, and before he can push Storm back, Rykopathe grabs him and holds him back.]

Tim: We’re already seeing a bit of tension here!

Jeff: Sterling is gonna explode if Storm keeps this up!

[Storm stops his attack on Corman, and raises his arm in the middle of the ring. As he turns around, he is met by a huge clothesline from Corman, and a large pop from the fans. Corman jumps on top of Storm and begins to place a large series of punches to his face. Rykopathe throws Corman off of Storm. Corman gets in Rykopathe’s face, and Sterling turns J. Simon around and starts to argue with him. Meanwhile, Corman is caught off guard by a bulldog from behind courtesy of Jon Storm.]

Tim: This match keeps going back and forth!

Jeff: Yeah! And look who’s coming down to join us!

[From the entrance way, Shawn Collins makes his way down to the ring and sits at the announcer table.]

Jeff: Look who’s decided to grace us with his presence, Tim!

Shawn: You bet your ass it’s grace... and Tim, shut up before you make a stupid comment that’ll get you in shit!

Tim: Ugh...

[In the ring, a brawl has broken out between Corman and Storm, while Rykopathe and Sterling continue to argue. Corman pulls a spinebuster on Storm, and quickly locks on a Canadian Sharpshooter onto Storm. Storm begins to cry out in pain, and both refs take notice of the situation. Sterling moves towards Storm to see if he gives up, and Rykopathe goes to Corman to try and get him to release the tension on the hold.]

Shawn: My Collins! That hold is way too tight! Corman isn’t allowed to do that!

Tim: It’s a submission move. You’re supposed to apply it until the opponent gives up.

Jeff: Not when it’s THAT tight!

Shawn: Totally.

Tim: Aren’t you and Corman friends?

Shawn: Sure we are... kinda sorta maybe... but you see, I agreed to be in Jonathan Storm’s corner. That guy is the future of this company, you know?

Jeff: That he is!

Tim: So you’re out here to cheer him on?

Shawn: Foe shizzle mah nizzle!

Tim: What?!

Shawn: Shut up you pansy.

[Rykopathe starts to break up the sharpshooter. Sterling takes notice, and stands up. He grabs Rykopathe by the hair, and tells him that the hold is fair. Storm begins to slightly tap the ground, and Rykopathe quickly decks Sterling before the tapping gets any louder. Then he proceeds to pull Corman off of Storm. Storm tries to rest in the corner, as Corman stands up to Rykopathe. Rykopathe yells back and pulls on his shirt indicating that he is still the ref.]

Tim: NOW THIS ISN’T FAIR!

Shawn: Sure it is pansy. You just gotta see it on the flip side of things.

[Corman picks up Storm in the corner, and puts him in a front chancery. He then steps up on the ropes trying to pull off a Tornado DDT, but as soon as Corman reaches the top rope, Storm reverses it into a reverse-superplex-pin combo. Rykopathe goes for the count.]

[One......... Two........ Thre...]

[Sterling gets up and pulls Rykopathe’s leg to the outside. The two refs begin to argue once again. Storm and Corman both get up, and in a matter of seconds, Corman clotheslines Rykopathe, and Storm clotheslines Sterling. Both refs are now on the outside, holding their back, while Storm and Corman continue to battle it out on the inside. Storm hits a Samoan Drop on Corman, while Corman gets right back up and puts Storm into a swinging neckbreaker.]

Tim: This is complete carnage! How can you let this happen, Mr. Commissioner?

Shawn: First of all, pansy, it’s Mr. Collins to you. And what do you mean how can I let this happen? I’m just here in my bud’s corner. The refs are supposed to handle the match.

Jeff: He’s right, you know Tim. It says so right here in the HWF “Making Matches” Handbook!

Tim: There’s no such...!

Jeff: Yes there is!

Shawn: ...pansy!

[Sterling and Rykopathe have gotten up on the outside, and begin to argue again. Rykopathe swings a right, but Sterling dodges it and lands a punch to Ryker’s gut. Rykopathe then hits a left on Sterling’s face, and Sterling falls back a little. Rykopathe smiles, but Sterling comes back with an uppercut that leaves him stunned. Sterling throws Rykopathe in the ring, and starts to yell at Collins.]

Shawn: Talk about pansies... here’s the biggest one. WHAT? YOU WANT ME?

Tim: Mr. Collins, you wouldn’t want to get hurt now would you? Sit down.

Jeff: Shut up. This could be classic!

[Sterling palms Collins’ face and pushes him down. In the ring, Storm and Corman have exchanged a series of chops. Now, Corman throws Storm against the ropes, and Storm comes back with a running hurricanrana! Storm picks Corman up, and hits an inverted DDT Legsweep!]

Tim: That was the “Bittersweet Symphony”!!!

Jeff: Rykopathe is still out of it in the ring! And Sterling is still yelling at Collins!

[Storm pins Corman, but no one makes the count. Seeing Rykopathe on the ground, Storm grabs his hand and starts to slam it against the mat for the count.]

[ONE..TWO..THREE!]

Shawn: What the fuck?

Tim: STORM WON?

Jeff: YES!

[Sterling turns around to see Storm stand up, and raise his arms in the air. Then he sees Rykopathe’s half limp body on the mat. Corman is on the inside yelling to Collins about the cheap fast count that Storm made. Collins stands up and shakes his head. He grabs a mic.]

Shawn: Storm, good job. You won the match. But, as a Commissioner, I have duties. And seeing as how this IS a Canadian Title match – it’s not going to be disgraced by that kind of win!

[Storm’s eyes grow wide in the ring as Sterling smiles on the outside. Corman gets ready to plant a move on Storm.]

Shawn: There will now be an impromptu rematch for the Canadian Title!

Tim: Good call!

Jeff: Why? Shawn why?

[Storm turns around and his eyes grow even wider as he sees Lost Soul at the top of the entrance way with a woman at his side. Soul is smiling, Storm just drops his jaw, and Corman puts Storm into a Cobra Clutch into an uranage.]

Tim: TOTAL ANNIHILATION!

Jeff: NOOOOO!!

[Corman makes the pin, and Sterling runs into the ring and makes the fastest count ever seen on television!]

[ONETWOTHREE!]

Jeff: THERE WEREN’T EVEN ANY PAUSES BETWEEN THE COUNTS!

Tim: STERLING JUST SCREWED JONATHAN STORM! PAYBACK FOM HH3!

[“Starseed” by Our Lady Peace hits as Corman grabs his Canadian Title, and immediately smacks Rykopathe with it as he gets up. Storm gets up and looks at Sterling yelling out “WHAT THE F*CK!?” Sterling smiles, and lifts him up and pivots, slamming him down with the Attitude Adjuster! Rykopathe gets up and stares at Sterling as he spits on Storm’s body and grabs a mic. He looks at Storm again.]

Sterling: How do you like that, you scumfuck?!? You thought you could double-cross me and get away with it?? Well here's a lesson, from me to you: Whosoever fucks with Lance Sterling, pays the price. You just paid the price, bitch. But you know what? I ain't finished with you.

[Sterling turns to face Rykopathe in the face.]

Sterling: And you... you fuckwad. I haven't forgotten about you either, although you wish I had. I beat the piss out of you last week, and I'll do it again if I feel like it. You're shit, Rykopathe. Just like Storm is. Nothin' but shit. I could take either one of you on.. hell, I'll take both you sons of bitches on. In fact, lets make a little challenge right here and now. At Seven, me vs. both of you. I'll show the world that the two of you can't hold a candle to me. What do you say, bitch? Wait, wait, dont answer that. I'm not ASKING you to agree, I'm TELLING you. Like it or not, Rykopathe, you're my bitch. So is Storm. Both of you are nothing but my fuckin' bitches. See your asses at Seven. Oh, and one more thing: Get in touch with your families, if you have any, before the match. Because I fuckin' promise you that at least one of you ain't gonna be comin' home in anything less than a wooden box.

["Debonaire" hits the PA system again. Sterling just stands there, eyeing Rykopathe and the unconcious Storm. The crowd goes wild with anticipation, and chants of "Sterling! Sterling!" fill the arena. Finally, Sterling rolls out of the ring and walks backwards up the aisle, his gaze still focused on Rykopathe in the ring.]

Tim: Did you hear him?!? Son of a bitch, what a match! Sterling vs. Storm and Rykopathe, at Seven! And Sterling has PROMISED that one of them won't leave alive!! Good GOD!

Shawn: Well, boy and girls. That sounds good to me. My job here is done.

Jeff: I sure as hell wouldn't want to be Jonathan Storm or J. Simon Rykopathe, that's for sure. Sterling's been totally different ever since Holiday Hangover 3; he's pure EVIL, that's what he is....

[Lost Soul and the girl have disappeared from the entranceway, but Storm gets up and gazes at where they were standing. Rykopathe leans against the turnbuckle, swearing. And Corman has already made his way to the back, the NEW Canadian Champion.]

Tim: Seven – Storm against Sterling against Rykopathe! What does the Commissioner have to say about this? And what will the stips be? Is Storm getting a title shot?

Jeff: Shut up pansy. We’ll be back!

[The camera cuts to backstage, where you see Rage in his locker room. He's basically throwing a tantrum - throwing garbage cans, chairs, and whatever else he can get his hands on. Rage starts poudning his fists into the wall now, and the camera begins fading out as you hear...]

Rage: GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!

[Commercials.]

Jeff: And the moment I've been waiting for - Main Event time!!! Time to see Michael Trey get his ass handed to him!!

Tim: As if. Trey's going to kill Phoenix, KILL Phoenix.

Jeff: Hey - you're not forgetting them two little bastards Teen Angst - right? I might hate them - but they can even kick Michael's ass.....

[Then as if on cue....

"Close your eyes, take my hand, and let darkness lead you to new light..."

[Chris Thrilla's haunting voice is heard followed by a HUGE pop from the crowd as "Disposable Teens" by Marilyn Manson starts. The arena lights go out and red strobe lights flicker throughout the arena. A large white screen also lowers down.]

And I'm a black rainbow,
and I'm an ape of god,
I got a face that's made for violence and porn,
and I'm a teen distortion,
survived abortion,
a rebel from the waist down.

[The two silhouettes of both Chris Thrilla and Spike appear on the screen, black and with red outlining them.]

yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah,

I wanna thank you mom,
I wanna thank you dad,
for bringing this fucking world to a bitter end,
I never really hated,
a one true god,
but the god of the people I hated.

[The screen explodes into tiny pieces, like the shards of a glass, all the while red pyro goes off on the sides of the stage. Teen Angst step out from the shattered glass and smoke and walk down to the ring pushing a trusty Dumpster. They wheel it down to the ring, as Chrris and Spike slide under the ring, and pops on his head and flips up Matrix-style while Chris climbs up the turnbuckle on the outside and raises both arms to the applause of the crowd. The red strobe lights stop but red sirens on top of all four turnbuckles light up as the tag team champions show off their gold.]

Tim: There's your two fav dudes right now!

Jeff: Well - I dont' like 'em, but anyone who can and WILL kick Mikey Boy's ass - get's 1 point in my book....

Tim: ...well...to put it bluntly - YOUR BOOK SUCKS!.

[Then “Underachiever” by Pitchshifter blasts through the arena as Phoenix steps through the curtains, wearing his flame covered, Tajiri style pants. He walks to the front of the stage as he receives a huge chorus of boos from the crowd. He looks around for a few moments, almost taking in the atmosphere before raising his right arm in the air, which brings an almost deafening reaction from the fans. He then slowly makes his way down to the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. Phoenix walks to the other side of the ring and raises his arm once again before turning and waiting for Teen Angst to make their way to the ring.]

Jeff: Damn Phoenix, he didn't even bring Bisc with him! Where's my man Bisco?

Tim: Who cares?

[Suddenly the Extream Screen switches to backstage - ala WWF. A TV Monitor is shown with Phoenix and Teen Angst in the ring talking, the camera then fades back a bit to see the back of Bisc Li's head, with Claire wrapped as tight as can be - clinging to his arm. Bisc then pulls a strawberry - seemingly out from no-where and Claire chomps it outta his hand as he feeds it to her.]

Tim: WHAT THE?! I've known Michael and Claire for long now - and Claire DOES NOT like Strawberries.

Jeff: Trust Li-o to bring the best out of everyone. Maybe he should join Trey - then Trey might actually have talen

[The lights in the stadium dim as the camera focuses on the HWF-tron. On the massive screen stretches a gigantic brickwall, with nothing more than a low rumbling sound emitting from the PA system. The rumbling gets louder and louder as it becomes clear it's a loud engine on full throttle. The roar reaches its apex has the brickwall explodes, and a large, Ford Duelly Pickup blasts through as the lights flash wildly to the opening riff of "Lakini's Juice". From the entrance jumps Wildcat and Rickey Williams, jawing at each other and the audience, as new manager Joanna stays close behind, trying to pump up the crowd. Both men start walking down the rampway, slide into the ring, and mount the nearest two turnbuckles. Wildcat cusses wildly at the fans, while Big Texas pumps his arms in the air. Joanna throws her coat near the announce table and paces back and forth near The Wrecking Crew's corner, while Wildcat and Rickey Williams wait inside the ring.]

Tim: Now all that's left is the one-man-Phoenix-killer Trey.

Jeff: Ugg - your compliments sound like insults. You should stop talking about Trey like you love him - you're going to curse his ass.

[Then...."I feel safe, I feel Scared" the UNKLE Remix of "The World if Not Enough" hits the speakers, as from the back RUNS Michael Trey - trying not to show any pain in his face - he slides in and blindsides Phoenix from the get go. Phoenix tumbles to the outside as Teen Angst respond by going to beat on Trey - but in step the Wrecking Crew, who save Trey and beat down on TA a bit.]

Jeff: Uh, ok? What just happened then?

Tim: I think The Trey Crew just kicked a little ass on your Boy Phoenix and his new two lovebuddies.

[The crowd is going backwards - as Trey looks at Wrecking Crew and drops his hands down into two fists - the Crew respond and slam down on them as a shown of mutual respect or whatever the fuck it means. The Crew then back off and exit the ring to their corner, as Teen Angst get up and exit to their corner - looking a bit pissed at the preceedings. Phoenix then slides into the ring as Trey starts his assault, with clubs over the back of Phoenix's neck. Trey then grabs Phoenix and whips him into the ropes, as Phoenix hits the ropes, he quickly grabs them and holds onto them as Trey calls him to 'Bring it on' and the crowd goes wild.]

Tim: Your boy Phoenix just happens to be a bit of a coward.

Jeff: Your boy Trey seems to have a bad neck - that's why Claire left him.

[From behind Phoenix - big Rickey Williams doesn't look too impressed - and clubs Phoenix in the back of the next, sending Phoenix stumbling towards Trey who delivers on some 'Malicious Intent' into Phoenix's skull.]

Jeff: Damn - this is the first time I've seen Trey make an offensive move in 10 weeks.

[As Phoenix goes backflipping over, Trey bends down and picks him up - he then drags him into his corner and tags in Big Rickey. Trey gives Phoenix a big arm wringer before Rickey brings down a huge clubbing axehandle across Phoenix's shoulder. Phpenix tries to shake it off, but Rickey boots him while he's down. Rickey then pulls Phoenix to his feet - he then whips him to the opposite ropes. On his return - Phoenix springs to life and jumps with a huge crossbody attempt but is quickly sent crashing backwards as Rickey socks him hard in the stomach.The crowd ooooh at the impact as Phoenix kicks around on the ground in a bit of pain. Rickey then grabs Phoenix and throws him into the corner of Teen Angst....he quickly gets down ready and motions for Teen Angst to get in. Spike is bouncing up on the ropes, he's pointing at Rickey then pointing at himself. Phoenix doesn't want to tag in - but just as he looks like he's going to charge Rickey he tags in Spike.]

Jeff: My god - Phoenix is such a smart guy. Why waste your energy bashing up the opponent - when you could let Spike do it?

Tim: God you're so ignorant when you want to be.....

[Rickey then charges straight at Spike in a fit of emotion. Spike then quickly drops down - drop toeholding Rickey face first into the bottom turnbuckle pad. Rickey lies face down on it. Spike then calls for something as Thrilla quickly responds. Spike backs up far from Rickey - then Thrilla grabs what he's after - he knocks Joey off his Chair and grabs it, he then chucks it up to Phoenix to save time. Phoenix then holds it in the ring over the back of Rickey's head as Rickey continues to lie face first on the turnbuckle as if in an inverted Bronco Buster position. Spike then runs in, but Rickey spins over and grabs the chair off Phoenix - he quickly throws it to a running Spike - who catches it, but RIckey is quickly up and does a HUGE Big Boot to the face of Spike...sending Spike tumbling backwards to the Crew Corner - but just before he falls over - in springs Billy and Trey in unicen with a double slingshot facecrusher onto Spike, narrowly missing the chair.]

Tim: What great teamwork there by the Better of the two teams.

Jeff: Shut your cakehole. Thing I can't figure out - I always though Teen Angst were faces, why aren't they with Trey?

Tim: I dunno! They're better as heels though, but they're with Tempest and Davison - so I don't konw what's going on.

[Billy and Trey quickly slide back out to a tag-ready position. Rickey then whips Spike into the ropes, and on his return he catches Spike HARD in the stomach with his shoulder before lifting him up in what seems to be a massive bearhug. Then in a moment - not unlike a Last Ride - Rickey boosts Spike up higher before slamming him down 45 degrees onto the back of his head. This folds Spike over and he rolls over onto his guts. Rickey then turns and motions at Billy to do something, as Thrilla jumps into the ring.]

Tim: OUCH! What a HUGE Bear-Hug to Spinebuster! Spike's gunna have a broken neck....

Jeff: ....then he can join Trey's team. But then again - atleast he doesn't stay unconicous for a whole party! Why wasn't I invited to the Ungentleman's Club?!?!

[Billy has dropped to the outside and searches for something before he emerges wearing a White Hardhat. Meanwhile - Thrilla has tried to cheap shot Rickey, but the Big Texan floors Thrilla with a devistating Clothesline from Hell. This has allowd Spike to get to his feet, but, Rickey turns around and drops him HARD in the center of the ring - with a huge scoop slam. He then does a "Thumbs Up" as Billy scales the turnbuckle and Trey gets the crowd to their feet. Rickey then slowly lifts the legs of Spike up and parts them, as Spike tries to scamper away.]

Jeff: Oh my god...

[Rickey then slowly pans the crowd with his eyes, before bursting out....]

Rickey Williams: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZUPPPPP! [Wiggles tongue around]

Billy Williams [In Response - along with the crowd and even Trey]: WHAZZZZZZZUP!!!!

Tim: WHASSSSSSSUP!

Jeff: WHASSSSSSUP!!

[Billy then flies off the turnbuckle with a huge Hardhat assisted Headbut to the prone groin of Spike - landing directly on target. Spike bounces around holding his crotch as the crowd goes wild for the cheezy rip on the Dudley Boys (WWF). Before Billy exits the ring, he throws his hardhat to Rickey. Phoenix looks furious on the outside - as his arch nemisis looks quite calm on the outside - opposite him. Rickey then drops the hardhat.....and goes to grab Spike - but Spike scurries across, and quickly tags back in Phoenix. Phoenix bursts in and drops Rickey with a clothesline - he then darts across and clubs Billy off the apron who flies backwards and almost crashes into the railing. He then turns and clubs Trey who goes flying back HARD into the Dumpster. Ignoring Rickey, Phoenix takes it to the outside and starts fighting against Trey. This brings in Teen Angst - as the ref shrugs his shoulders as if to have lost control. This also sends Billy Williams back into the ring - holding his back - he goes straight in to help his partna!]

Jeff: Now this is EXACTLY what I was expecting - alliances aside - Phoenix vs Trey and Teen Angst vs The Wrecking Crew. And it's happened so early too!

[Phoenix picks Trey up, and whips him across and into the ringside barricade. Trey bounces off, as Phoenix charges him - but Trey delivers a quick counter-kick, he then grabs Phoenix in a double underhook - but Phoenix knows what's about to hit him and quickly rises his knee up into the crotchal area of Trey's body. Trey's eyes buldge out, as Phoenix drops down onto his knees before smashing Trey up into the sac with another lowblow - this time with his forearm. Trey's fans oooooh as Trey turns around - knees bent and eyes crossed - Phoenix then gets up and delivers a huge punt-kick into the backside of Trey's Scrotom as Trey finally hits the ground after recieving that 3-Hit Combo Fatality!]

Jeff: I always knew Trey had no balls - but that's rediculous....and FUCKING FUNNY! [Bursts out into uncontrollable laughter]

Tim: Phoenix is a fucking coward.

[Meanwhile - on the inside of the ring. Billy has been grounded after a Deadly Nutshot by Thrilla. Spike also has somehow got the upperhand on big Rick - and has delivered a deadly combo of kicks to him while into the corner. Spike then picks Rickey up and sits him on the top turnbuckle, he signals to the crowd before he grabs Rickey in a Canadian Backbreaker rack on the top ropes. Thrilla signals from the opposite end of the ring and runs towards Spike. Spike drops Rickey off the top, Thrilla hitting him with a spear that drives Rickey into the turnbuckles back-first.]

Jeff: That was more Sadistic than the Sadistic Spear - that was like the...uuuuuh....well not the Angelic Arrow.....fuck I don't know, the Paganish Penis?

[On the outside, while Phoenix was looking for a weapon in the dumpster, Trey has gotten up and walked over and slammed Phoenix's head into the dumpster. Trey once again begins to take control of Phoenix as he lands a few hard right hands to the side of Phoenix’s head. Trey then grabs Phoenix’s arm and backs him against the far turnbuckle post before putting everything he has into whipping Phoenix at the dumpster. Phoenix slams hard into the dumpster as a sickening thud rings throughout the arena. Phoenix doesn’t go down from this, but instead leans up against the dumpster for balance. Trey then backs up and begins to charge at the unmoving Phoenix. When he gets close enough, Trey leaps high into the air attempting a splash when Phoenix quickly takes two steps forward, catching Trey in midair with a pancake type maneuver using Trey’s own momentum to send him crashing face first into the dumpster. Both men hit the ground for a few seconds before Phoenix shakily gets to his feet and climbs to the ring apron. He walks over to the dumpster and begins searching inside it for something. Phoenix finally succeeds in locating what he was looking for as he pulls out a long cardboard box. He holds it over his head as the fans begin to boo. Phoenix then hops down to the ground and dumps the box to the ground as several fluorescent light tubes fall to the ground. He then reaches down to the pile and picks up two tubes, one in each hand. By this time, Trey has begun to get to his feet. Phoenix leans back and swings, shattering one of the light tubes across the face of Trey. Trey staggers a bit, but doesn’t go down prompting Phoenix to stand next to Trey, slipping the other tube under his neck. Phoenix then wraps his leg around Trey’s and falls back dropping both men into the pile of light tubes with a Russian Leg Sweep. Both men begin to roll around in the glass in obvious pain.]

Tim: MY GOD! THAT PHOENIX IS A FUCKING BEAST

Jeff: No, I beg to differ. Phoenix is a Mythological Creature that Rises from the Ashes. THIS Phoenix, different from his ancestorial Creature, Rises from somethign different - the broken glass.

Tim: Good Gavin, you talk some crap somtimes...

Jeff: Anyway - you may call Phoenix a coward - in reality he's just fuckign with Trey's mind - when he WANTS to be hardcore he'll BE hardcore. He can turn it on an off like a switch...

Tim: Yeah - you would know that, seeing how he was going to go hardcore onto your pretty boy Lance Sterling, but you saved Lance and caused Phoenix to go crashing through this very announce table.

[The inside of the ring reads a little different. As Rickey and Billy have mounted a comeback, but Wildcat and Thrilla brawl it out in the middle of the ring as Spike and Rickey battle it out in the corner. Billy gets overpowered by Thrilla, and quickly uses his upperhand advantage to whip Wildcat to the ropes...on his return however Billy catches and counters a Thrilla Clothesline before swinging it into the Roughneck Breaker. Wildcat then follows out to the outside, as Rickey slams Spike back into the corner. Wildcat searches under the ring - yet again - before coming out with a 2x4. He then slides into the ring and holds it to the crowd - before he digs into his pockets....he pulls out a Zippo Lighter!]

Jeff: Oh my god!! Even the Wrecking Crew have Phoenix-envy as you can see there [Camera Zoom into the Zippo Ligher] the new Phoenix Zippo lighter from hwf-shopzone.tripod.com!!

Tim: You fucking Dicksaddle. That's not even the fuckign Phoenix Zippo - you can clearly see that it's the Michael Trey Zippo Lighter - soon to be RELEASED from the shopzone. Fucking Assclown...

Jeff: OFFICESPACE RULES!

[Trey and Phoenix continue rolling around in the glass like two teens in love rolling around in the Fall's Fallen Leaves. Or maybe they're just in too much pain to get outta it. Meanwhile - Billy whips back the lid of the Zippo and attempts to light the 2x4. The Ref quickyl responds - I don't know why - and tries to stop him. Wildcat has no hesitation in pushing the ref down - but the ref CRASHES backwards into the hardhat and is knocked out cold. Quick backstage cut to Bisc and Claire....Claire is no-where to be seen - but Bisc's eyes are crossed and his jaw is slung open and he's making high-pitched noises.]

Tim: WHAT THE?

[Anyway - with the ref down. And Bisc seemingly without a care for the match. Billy lights that sucka of a 2x4 on fire. But just as he's abotu to smash it over the head of Thrilla - Spike comes back from his fist-fight with Rickey and tackles down....THRILLA...causing Billy to be offtarget. The 4x2 crashes into the mat - alight. Spike is quickly up and kicks the stunned William Brother. Thrilla then is also up and he whips Billy into the ropes as Spike backs back. Thrilla then lifts Billy up onto his shoulders on his return into a fireman's carry. Spike comes in and hooks Bill's head in a front facelock, dropping with a High Angle DDT out of the Fireman's carry onto the FUCKING FLAMING 4x2!!]

Jeff: HOLY FUCKSTICKLES!! HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT ONTO THE 4x2!!!

Tim: That wasn't the damn HSD - it was a variation. BILLY IS DEAD!

[As Billy rolls away - it's as if he's just been branded with an Iron - as across his forehead is a hugely obvious 4x2 Char Mark. On the outside Trey and Phoenix are both back up and brawling away to the delight of the crowd. Phoenix rolls Trey back into the ring - and his back is clearly cut open...Phoenix probably has lost half o fhis blood already - but it's just another day at the office for him. Trey's seemingly a little better off - probably because he's wearing a shirt. As Trey rolls in, Phoenix follows in and boots him backwards into his corner. Everyone seems to take back their places as the ref regains his conciousness and tells people where to go. Phoenix and Rickey re-face off and Phoenix is quick to get the upperhand. As Phoenix backs Rickey into a neatral corner, Billy is quickly across to clotheslins Phoenix from behind. Phoenix slumps into the waiting arms of Rickey who jumps and spins around into a Spinning Belly to Belly Plex - Scott Steiner Style-ee. Phoenix bounces off the mat - but like any good natural Hardcore wrestler he's back to his feet in no-time. Phoenix looks at Rickey - then Rickey ignores him and turns to Teen Angst - he then signals for their assess to once again return to face him. Phoenix then siezes the opportunity and darts across to the distracted William Brother, Phoenix quickly clocks him with a deadly flying foream - which sends Rickey crashing into the corner. Phoenix then whips Rickey across into his corner.....]

Jeff: Now there's brains for you - Rickey's too pent up with emotions focused at Teen Angst! He should be focused on his current opponent. Damn foo'!

Tim: That's just cheap....

Jeff: Like your fucking woman.

[But before it seems like he's going to tag in Chris - Chris and Spike signal to Phoenix, Phoenix hesitates but quickly snaps on a Inverted Facelock. Chris and Spike know what to do - and bust up the turnbuckle just as Phoenix lifts Rickey up into an inverted brainbuster, just as Phoenix drops back Into the Ashes; Spike and Chris fly off assiting it into a super spiked Into the Ashes causing Rickey to be impaled into the mat.]

Jeff: WHAT A FUCKIGN MOVE! It's ALL OVER NOW!!

Tim: That was a very brutal move - Super Into the Ashes.

Jeff: DICK'EAD - it was a Spikeed Into the Ashes - mind my puns there!

[Just as Phoenix waits for Chris and Spike to return to the outside so he can make a tag - Billy has one leg through the ropes ready for a run in. Phoenix makes the tag to Thrilla - and instead of entering the ring like a normal person - Thrilla slingshots over the ropes and lands in a lateral press onto Rickey....the ref drops down for a pin as Wildcat bursts into the ring....]

[One...Two....Billy breaks up the count!]

[Billy then grabs Thrilla and without hesitation THROWS him to the outside. Which gives Rickey some time to breathe. As Thrilla topples to the outside; Billy returns to his corner.]

Tim: Nice breakup there by Wildcat...

Jeff [In huge mocking voice]: OOOH WHAT A COWARD!

[Thrilla then lands on the outside with a thud......right next to the sexy Joanna (Dark?). But he seems to ignore her - as he attempts to get back into the ring. But as he has one knee up on the apron and looks as he's about to re-enter the ring - Joanna springs into action and digs her deadly nails INTO the back of Thrilla before DRAGGING them down causing the scene to look more like a Cooking Segement on a Lifestyle Channle where the female chef peels some Apples to add to the dish. Thrilla howls before he turns to Joanna who doesn't seem intimidated, as Thrilla drops down to the floor beside her - his decent quickly turns into an ascent as Jaonna's boot assends up under his family jewels causing Thrilla's eyes to buldge out more than Trey's earlier in the match. Joanna then grabs him and DDT's him. She then follows up by using the guardrail as a springboard to backflip into an Asai Moonsault...she then walks away like nothing has happened.]

Jeff [With eyes and cock buldging]: WOW....that woman is HOT! YUMMY! AND SHE CAN KICK ASS!

[A quick shot of Thrilla's crossed eye's is shown on the Extream Screen with two other sets of Crossed Eyes besides it in a dynamic Shot. Not one of Perry Saturn's...but on the left is Chris Thrilla with "Now" written under him...then to his right is Michael Trey with "Before" under it (when Phoenix had his little way) then to Trey's right is Bisc Li with "...EVEN Earlier" (when something was happening to him....and Claire was no-where to be found.) Back to the action anyway, as Rickey gets his bigass up and slips to the outside to roll Thrilla in. Rickey then makes a quick tag-in to Trey, who hasn't seen much action. Thrilla has enough time to make it to his corner - Trey's calling Phoenix in and it looks like he's going to deliver the tag - BUT - tags in SPIKE!! Trey's furious as Phoenix sadistically laughs at Trey. Spike runs in and goes for a clothesline.....but Trey spins around and under and grabs Spike with a waistlock, trying for a suplex, but Spike counters by hooking his leg. He pulls Trey to his back and tries to lock in a Figure Four, but Trey reverses that into a reverse Figure Four. Spike kicks his legs wildly, knocking Trey out of the submission.]

Jeff: Whoa....even matchness.

[The two jump to their feet with their fists clenched, staring coldly at each other. They spring into action bouncing off opposite ropes. Trey swings for a clothesline, Spike ducks. Spike comes off and tries a flying lariat, but Trey ducks. The two come back off the ropes at each other, both swinging for a clothesline. Spike ducks his head down, but hooks his arm with Trey, spinning around behind him with a back-to-back double-underhook. Spike leans forwards, pinning Trey with a backslide.]

[1… 2…] Trey rolls to the side, rolling Spike over his shoulders with a counter backslide.

[1… 2…] Spike touches his feet to the mat, lifting his head off of Trey’s shoulders, jumping over his bent body with a sunset-flip.

[1… 2…] Trey rolls backwards, double-leg pinning Spike.

[1… 2…] Spike pushes Trey’s head down, flipping him back over to a sunset-flip position.

[1… 2…] Trey claps his feet together, hitting Spike in the head, and rolls onto his stomach for a pin.

[1… 2…] Spike grabs Trey’s waist and bridges up, hooking his arms in the same back-to-back double-underhook. He lifts Trey up over his shoulder, bringing Trey’s feet up onto his thighs. He leans forwards again, stretching Trey’s biceps, thighs and back with a Gori Special! After a few painful seconds for Trey, Spike leans all the back, jumping off of his feet, planting Trey’s face and chest into the mat with a Gori-Special, back-to-back pancake!]

Tim: DID I JUST SEE SPIKE OUTWRESTLE TREY?!?!

Jeff: Yes. Like is that a special occasion for you? EVeryone does it - all the time.

Tim: No. It's because Trey's neck is fucked - and now it's probably even more broken because of that punk Spike.

[The crowd is actually booing Spike as Trey rolls around grasping his neck. This causes Joanna to spring into action again, but not really action as she starts to exit to the back of the building.]

Jeff: WOW - I think she's gone to get us a room for later! PUPPIES!

Tim: Maybe's she's doing something for you........RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR ASS.

Jeff: Ugh. Lameosity is strong in this one.

[Just as it looks like Spike's got the upperhand - from nowhere comes a swift kick from Trey and....]

Tim: FLASH OF PAIN! FLASH OF PAIN!!! All he needs is to get the pin...and this one's over.

[Trey then rolls over and drapes an arm over Spike....]

[One....Two.....BREAKUP as Phoenix and Thrilla have entered the fray. But now so has The Wrecking Crew. The Crew quickly knock Phoenix and Thrilla to the outside....and Rickey picks up and whips Spike into the corner. Rickey then helps Trey to his feet. Billy walks over to Spike and looks back at Trey, Trey signals for it....and Spike gets set up on the top turnbuckle. Next thing you see is Billy jumping up onto Spike's shoulders.....Trey then screams "LIGHTS OUT" as he springs up to the top - just as the lights cut out you can see Billy hurricanrannaing Spike off the turnbuckle....a HUGE crash is heard as the lights kick back on and Trey's kneeling on the opposite side of a screaming Spike.]

Tim: WHAT A FUCKING COMBO! RIG DROP AND LIGHTS OUT!! TWO FINISHERS - ONE MAN! SPIKE IS DEAD!

[Trey then goes for a pin.....]

[One....Two....PHOENIX SLIDES IN....Thre....BREAK UP!]

Tim: NOOOO!

[Phoenix picks Trey up and Drops him with a Shot to the jaw - a big hard right. Spike then gets up - still holding his ribs...as Billy comes across and they lock up shoving each other back and forth. Spike drives his knee into Billy’s stomach, staggering him. He drives his knee again, dropping Billy to one knee. He drops the tie-up, grabbing Billy by his hair, and pulling him to his feet. He carries Billy over to the corner, laying down the boot, dropping him to a sitting position. He drives his knee into Billy’s face with help of the ropes, bouncing back and forth. Billy lunges forwards, low-blowing Spike. Spike drops backwards, holding his crotch, and Billy gets to his feet quickly, yammering away at the downed Spike. He flips him off with both middle fingers and tries for a gutwrench powerbomb, but Spike counters, lifting Billy up with a gut-wrench piledriver. Billy kicks his feet, grabbing Spike’s waist with a gut-wrench again, but Spike blocks and grabs Billy’s arm with a standing reverse arm-bar. Spike flips off Billy, yelling “Fuck you!”, and spins around, hooking Billy with a headlock, spinning all the way to the other side with a tiger leg-sweep, kicking out Billy’s legs. He grabs onto Billy’s arm with a reverse Fujiwara arm-bar as he drops, sticking his legs out around his neck with a guillotine head-scissors, wrenching back… Straight Outta T.O!]

Jeff: WHAT THE HELL?! SPIKE MAN - HE'S NOT EVEN THE LEGAL MAN!!

[But before the move can be fully applied - in comes RICKEY! Rickey drops his foot into the face of Spike. Spike gets up after relasing the hold but Rickey swings his big Texan arm, driving Spike to his back with a MASSIVE clothesline. Spike’s head bounces off the canvas, and he grabs it painfully. Rickey leans over Spike jaw-jackin’ Spike’s ear off. Spike’s eyes pop open, and a lighting quick shot to Rickey’s chin staggers him back. He grabs his neck after the throat thrust, coughing back his breath. Spike runs over to Rickey, aiming a dropkick at his head, sending him back into the corner. Spike jumps up, climbing up on top of Rickey, grabbing his head. He lays down fists to Rickey’s temple, riding him with the punches…]

[Crowd] 1, 2, 3....

[Rickey starts to overpower Spike but Spike leans backwards, still holding Rickey’s head. He pulls his face close to Rickey’s, grinning menacingly, hooks his leg around his neck and drops down with a Rocker Dropper! Rickey’s head bounces off the mat, and he rolls to the outside, holding his face painfully. He rolls onto his back, not moving. Spike stares down at him, still grinning, and jumps to the top ropes, facing away from Rickey for a moonsault. He jumps up with the back-flip - grabbing his ankles in mid air, arching his back as far as it can go, and before he lands on Rickey, Rickey's partna comes in and drags him away....causing the much hypo Spike to land HARD - HARD - HARD on his stomach!!]

Tim: That HUGE mistake by Spike could cost him!!

Jeff: EH, you're right for once - ho.

Tim: All his momentum...shattered.

[Trey and Phoenix then continue their brawl as it spills to the outside. On the inside - Spike is up clutching his ribs as Thrilla finally returns to the action from the outside. Billy tackles Spike down like Jericho, before locking him up in....a SHARPSHOOTER as Spike tries to fight it off...he gets him over though....and starts counting to the crowd....Spike's face has gone red - and the ref's down to check on Spike...]

Crowd [As the seconds pass]: ONE...TWO....THREE....FOUR....

Jeff: YOU IDIOT! They're NOT the legal men!

Tim: Frankly I don't even know who's legal at the moment!!

Crowd: FIVE...SIX....

Jeff: DAMN 8 SECONDS IS LOCKED ON HARD!! It's his finisher...it could be all over.

Tim: Wonder what kinda room Joanna got me?!

Jeff: EH! She's mine.

Crowd:...SEVEN...

[Chris Thrilla RUNS IN AND BOOTS Billy in the face. This allows Spike to get up, Rickey comes across and tries to attack Thrilla.....but Chris ducks a deadly clothesline attempt. As he turns around Chris flapjacks him up - and Spike turns around and DDT's him down......as Spike scurries over for the cover! The ref looks shocked...]

Jeff: PIN HIM PIN HIM!! The Dropout on the Dropouts!!

Tim: They're not even the legal men!!

Jeff: How do you know that for sure?

[Trey and Phoenix continue their battery on the outside....as the ref drops down for the count...]

[One....Two....Three!!!]

Jeff: TEEN ANGST AND PHOENIX WIN! YAY!

Tim: RIGGED! That's not even right! They ddin't even win it fairly!

Jeff: Look man, the ref did a good enough job to even stay that close to the action - take the best federation in the world today - the WWF - half the time illegal men get the pins. SO shut up and take it like a man.

[The camera cuts backstage again - for no reason - as it shows the Wrecking Crew's Black Duely Pickup being drove closer to the enterence of the stage....drove by JOANNA!]

Jeff: Drat - she only went back so she could escort her looser friends out of the arena!

[Chris and Spike grab their belts and start to head up to the enterence ramp. Phoenix and Trey continue to brawl on the floor as each man just starts hammering away on the other. eventually Phoenix begins to get the advantage and starts winding up and drilling Trey in the forehead with right hands. After taking about fives of these blows, Trey falls to the ground. Phoenix lays in a few stomps to Trey and goes over to the ring, lifting up the curtain. He turns around and sees that Trey is slowly but surely getting to his feet so he spins back around and plants a boot to Trey’s gut, doubling him over. Phoenix then puts Trey in a standing head scissors, lifts up in piledriver position, hooks Trey’s leg, and drops him to the concrete with a stiff cradle piledriver. Trey begins to roll around on the ground holding his neck as Phoenix just laughs to himself. Phoenix then goes back under the ring and continues his search.]

Jeff: OH FELLAs! The match is over ya idiots!

[Meanwhile just as Chris and Thrilla exit - out comes Joanna from behind the curtains, she thumps Spike in the side of the head with the biggest rig-girder she could carry. Wildcat and Rickey are now up there too and they quickly dispatch of Thrilla who is abotu to get ahold of Joanna. The crowd is going whild. Wildcat then walks behind the curtain, and grabs a chain - a quick zoom in reveals it's tied to the Pickup TRUCK!! Billy then pulls it over to the best of his ability to Spike.]

Tim: What's he going to do?!

Jeff: Trey's going to die!

Tim: uhh...not that!

[After a few moments, Phoenix pulls a few chairs, a table, and a roll of duct tape out from under the ring. He grabs one of the chairs and Trey begins to get to his feet. Just as Trey gets steady on his feet, Phoenix winds up and drills Trey right in the face with the chair sending him back to the concrete. Phoenix then begins to go to work setting up the table. When he finishes that, the walks over to the nearby dumpster and grabs a few unbroken light tubes from the earlier pile of glass. Phoenix grabs an armful and walks back over to the table, where he lays the tubes down. He then reaches down grabbing the duct tape and secures the light tubes to the table. Phoenix then takes the table and puts it perpendicular to the nearest ring post. He then walks over to Trey, pulls him up by his head and tosses him into the ring. Phoenix then grabs a chair and slides in as well. Trey is on his feet waiting for Phoenix and throws a weak punch that Phoenix just laughs at as he gets hit.]

Jeff: That Phoenix is something else...

Tim: Yeah - a fuckhead. He's humiliating Trey now...

[Phoenix then winds up himself with his free hand and staggering Trey with a stiff right hand. Phoenix then pulls the chair back and winds up smacking Trey hard across the top of the head but Trey doesn’t go down despite being in visible pain. Phoenix then winds up again and delivers another chair shot to Trey who almost goes down to a knee but remains on his feet, determined not to go down. Phoenix taps the chair on the ground and then takes a huge swing at Trey denting the chair and probably Trey’s skull with a sickening thud that sends Trey to the mat. Phoenix then grins from ear to ear, the gap in his teeth quite obvious as he sets the chair down and begins to yell at Trey to get back up. Trey rolls around a bit, but eventually, Phoenix just becomes fed up with Trey’s slow actions and picks him himself. He then whips Trey into the corner closest to where the light tube table is set up on the outside. Phoenix follows Trey over and then hoists him to a sitting position on the top turnbuckle. Phoenix hops through the ropes and climbs the turnbuckle behind Trey.]

Jeff: Now THIS could be the REAL Super Into the Ashes - not the Spikeed one!!

[As up on the stage The Two Tag Teams have started brawling again....Phoenix helps Trey somewhat stand up and locks on a rear chancery. Phoenix raises his arm in the air and yells out, “Lights out for who NOW, Michael?” as the fans begin to drown out the action with boos. Phoenix then lifts Trey up high for Into the Ashes, maybe a little too high, as Trey is able to float over Phoenix in mid air locking his arm around Phoenix’s neck in a rear chancery of his own, dropping Phoenix Into the Ashes through the light tube table to monstrous cheers from the crowd. Both men lie in the remains of the table and the broken glass for a several moments as the blood begins to flow out of Trey’s back and Phoenix’s head. Trey then slowly rises to his feet, looking down at his fallen enemy. Phoenix just has a huge grin on his face causing Trey to snap. Trey instantly jumps on Phoenix in the mounted position and begins take out his aggressions with his fist on Phoenix’s face.]

Tim: Now that's what We're talking about!! GO TREY GO!!

Jeff: Wait, this isn't in my program....Phoenix isn't supposed to lose!

[Trey throws, ten, twenty, thirty punches to Phoenix’s face causing blood to pour out of his mouth and nose, but Phoenix still continues to smile. Trey yells out and then starts slamming Phoenix’s head over and over again into the pile of broken table and glass shards. After about thirty seconds, Trey stands up and looks down at Phoenix who begins to roll over in an attempt to stand up. Trey’s eyes light up with rage as he grabs one of the chairs that Phoenix pulled out from under the ring and walks back over to the moving Phoenix. Trey looks down at Phoenix before slamming the chair hard down across his back several times before letting up when Phoenix stops moving. Trey smiles to himself until Phoenix starts to slowly lift his arms in an attempt to roll over, much to the disapproval of the crowd. Trey then drops the chair and goes to the ring curtain to search for a weapon of his own. He eventually pulls out one of own Michael Trey gas cans and a lighter. Trey pulls the cap of the can and completely covers Phoenix in gas as the fans in the first few rows begin to back up. Trey finishes emptying the can and then drops in on Phoenix’s body before striking the lighter. He takes a few heavy breaths before tossing the lighter onto Phoenix who ignites in a huge inferno. Trey takes a few steps back from his work and Phoenix begins to roll around in a sad attempt to extinguish the huge flames. A whole crew of EMTs quickly come rushing out of the back and sprint down to the ring with a stretcher, a few med kits, and a couple of fire extinguishers. They instantly put out Phoenix who is now visibly burnt on his upper body and in an excruciating amount of pain. As the EMTs begin to place Phoenix on the stretcher, Trey walks over to the announce table and gets his hands on a mic.]

Michael: Phoenix... I've had about enough of this. Right now, I've got enough anger to beat the absolute shit out of Bisc; but this thing between you and I, Phoenix... you've been building on this for weeks, and I think its time everyone heard exactly what you're trying to pull.

Tim: What?

Michael: How fucking dumb do you think these people are, Phoenix? Do you actually expect your petty babbling, incessant attacks, and vicious actions to make them see something in you with doesn't exist: a hero? You try and try and try to tear me apart at the seams. Trying to show these people that they need a new hero. A better hero. And naturally, since you're the one who did this deed, who showed them the light, YOU should be their hero?

[Trey pauses for a few moments.]

Michael: Your crap sickens me to my soul, Phoenix. You've insulted the fans' intelligence for too long. You expect them to now believe that your challenge two weeks ago proved anything? That my loss in the Flames of Phoenix match meant you were better? I had to practically be fucking carried to ringside, Phoenix. After that match, I sat in a hospital for a whole week of recovery. Before it, I had to escape from the hospital to get in the match. You were completely healthy. And you think that proves a goddamned thing?!

Tim: Go Trey Go!

Michael: You're such a hypocrite, Phoenix. Talking about how I've changed, how I no longer bleed hardcore. You came in as a rookie, fast rising to the top. Phoenix: the next great thing. Everyone in the back knew it, and as a result you held the hardcore title for longer than most people can hold a career. Then, YOU FUCKING CHANGED. You became a hypocrite. You attacked me, for changing and abandoning my fans. You attacked ICON, for changing into a primadonna paper champion. Yet, you refused to take note that you yourself no longer were the "up and comer". You, Phoenix... are in the spotlight. And you'll have your chance to prove whether you're still worthy... at Seven.

Jeff: Bisc, cut his mic!

Tim: *smacks Jeff*

Michael: Well, Phoenix, maybe I have changed. But one thing I have done only ONCE in my career, and never will do again, is turn my back on the fans. Never again. You see, Phoenix, the fans have a basic, primal understanding with their heroes. Heroes have... "it". You had "it" once, Phoenix. But then, somehow... you lost "it". What? What is "it"? IT is that flicker in your eye, right before you hammer home your finisher. IT is the ability to garner cheers for your actions no matter who you are beating half to death. IT is that feeling, that style, that emotion that flows from every real fan favorite wrestler. That feeling that fans get, knowing a man is out there, busting his ass to hurt people for their entertainment. You had "it" once, Phoenix. NOW... you're trying so damn hard to show "it" that you lost every last bit of "it" months ago.

[Michael leans against the ropes.]

Michael: This whole Flames of Phoenix match... it all was one big cry for attention. You want to bring in obscure matches from whatever half-assed federation you used to be in? Great. But you, trying to prove something in a match I shouldn't have been wrestling in at ALL didn't prove that you are the better wrestler. It proved to the fans that you are just trying to damned hard. It's fucking pathetic. Honestly! Get some new material, Phoenix. Yeah... we know. You think I changed, abandoned the fans. You don't have to tell us that two million and eight different ways.

[Another pause.]

Michael: So... Phoenix. You wanted to make everyone see just how NOT hardcore I am? Shove that up your ass! I checked the calendar. We've got one more Saturday Suicide before Seven. So, asshole... let's see just who is hardcore and who's... not. Any true blue HWF fan will remember this match: King of Violence, Tournament Match. Michael Trey versus The Saint.... roll tape.

[Footage looms high on the Extream Screen of a Lion's Den in the fasion of a Gates of Hell match. Above, torches in each corner are lit. In the Den... large amounts of explosives. Tim's voice comes across the speakers, describing the match.]

Tim [on tape]: Now, here's the insane stipulations for this match. The crowd has been pushed back to make room. Our ring had to be torn down and sprayed underneath with chemicals to prevent it from catching fire. This is a modified Gates of Hell matchup. The Gates of Hell setup is used, but underneath, the fire isn't lit. Instead, the lion's den below is full of gasoline, lighting fluid, C4 explosive, all of which is just WAITING for the slightest flame to set it off. Up in the ring, there are removable torches lit, 3 feet high in each corner, the ring ropes are on fire, and hell, there's plenty of gas and lighting fluid inside the ring too! The object? To set your opponent on fire and throw him through the gates, thereby lighting the inescapable prison of fire.

[The crowd pops huge... the match is famous for being not only incredibly fucking hardcore, but one hell of a match in the tourney. Michael smiles.] Michael: Burn in Hell match, Phoenix. I hit my fucking peak at King of Violence... so let's face up in one of my creations from months ago. Let's see who still has "it" and who just doesn't. Let's just see, Phoenix, if you are the hero you claim you really are...

[As the EMTs begin to wheel Phoenix away, he begins to yell out.]

Phoenix: You…you…you want this match…you got it…at Sev.. at Seven... you will pay…as the burning ends then.

[Just as it seems Suicide is really coming to a close - the scene cuts up to the stage where the Crew have dominated Teen Angst. No-one knows what's happened as eveyone's been focused on Trey vs Phoenix, but Thrilla's broken up off the edge of the stage through the electrical tables, and Spike is on his back up on the stage. Billy has left and jumped in the Pickup along with Joanna, as big Rickey ties the HUGE chain around the ankles of Spike. Rickey then hops up onto the back of the truck and smashes on the roof...as the wheels spin and smokes emits from the rubber...the Pickup then burns off with Spike 'en tow..as Suicide FINALLY comes to a close!!]