 February 24th, 2001 [7:00 pm | The Kemper Center, Kansas City Missouri] [The camera fades in from black. All you can initially hear is a HUGE "H-W-F, H-W-F" chant. Suddenly, the beginning of "Last Resort" by Papa Roach kicks in as they cut to a shot from inside the Kemper Center, in Kansas City, Missouri. About 6,000 fans pack the arena as Tim and Jeff stand alone inthe center of the ring. Tim looks around, with mic in hand, as the fans pump their fists to the deafening chant. The music and chant fade out in stereo, as Tim slowly raises the mic to his mouth to begin to speak.] Tim: Hello HWF fans, and welcome to HWF's SATURDAY SUICIDE!! [HUGE pop, as expected, for the name of the show. Tim continues.] Tim: I'm Tim Miller... [Jeff snatches the mic. Tim glares at him as the fans begin stirring.] Jeff: ...and I am... Jeff "We're in the midwest, a place I like best, because women do not stall, to flash me their chest" ... [Another huge pop, this time for the obscene nickname. Jeff finishes.] Jeff: ...Robinson!! [Tim grabs the mic back from Jeff, as Jeff raises his arms in the air in victory. Tim waits until the cheers die down, and then begins speaking.] Tim: Well, we have a great show for you tonight.. as you can see above me... [The camera pans up, to see a Hell in a Cell hanging mysteriously over the ring. The fans begin cheering.] Tim: ...that's right. This luminous Cell will come into play more than once tonight, along with plenty of other matches for your viewing entertainment. Stay with us... ["Last Resort" kicks in again as Tim and Jeff exit the ring towards ringside. As the crowd looks on, The bass riff of "Indestructible" hits the speakers to a moderate pop from the crowd. Chris Davison, dressed in his usual wrestling gear plus red baseball cap, appears in the entranceway, followed by Tempest. Davison has a microphone is in his hand, and he seems to get ready to use it as he walks down the aisle, twisting his wrist and tapping it lightly. Tempest still follows.] Tim: Chris Davison, a young prospect here in the HWF, getting a big chance tonight if he can outdo Blackjack! Jeff: Pshaw, that rookie? He's been here what, four months? He STILL hasn't done anything worthy! [The music slowly halts as Davison reaches the ring, looking out over the fans in attendance. He smiles slightly and turns toward the backstage area.] Chris Davison: Blackjack, over this one week, I've been in a heated verbal battle with you, just for intimidation rights alone. A week of talking about you, having to listen to you, and in general, putting up with an ego that's even larger than Gavin Coens'. [Mild amusement from the crowd.] Chris Davison: And now, after all this buildup, which seems like forever but has been less than seven days, we face off. Right here, right now. And after all this fighting, all the arguing, all the spewed venom from both directions... tonight is an interesting night. Tonight is the old, versus the new. The veteran versus the rookie... in terms of the HWF, anyway. And finally, here and now, we decide if you walk away with two others to beat before getting an HWF World Title shot at Seven... or we decide if I walk away with the bragging rights that come with defeating a former Canadian, former Hardcore, and former World Heavyweight Champion. It's gonna be mine, or yours. And I am here to make god damn sure that it ain't yours. [Mild pop, lot of jeers as well. Half the crowd is cheering and half isn't.] Chris Davison: So tonight, in the Kemper Center, of Kansas City... [Cheap pop.] Chris Davison: I'm going to put into my fists what I've tried to drum into your head this whole god damn week, and that's some sort of rational thought. So get your ass out here and let's fuckin' blow the roof offa this place! [Tempest takes her spot in Davison's corner as "Fame" by DMX plays over the Public Announcement system. Right before the first chorus, Blackjack steps through the curtain with his head down and a bottle of water in his right hand. He lifts his head and looks around. He pours some water on his head and then Stephanie then comes out and puts her hand in Blackjack's. The two then walk down to the ring, Blackjack taking an occasional drink of the bottle. Blackjackthen leads Stephanie to her spot on the outside and Blackjack climbs the steel steps into the ring. He stands there and raises his hands. Because of his heel status he gets booed loudly. Blackjack then walks on the apron and steps through the ring ropes. He gets in the ring and bounces off the ropes to check them out. He takes one last sip of his drink and tosses it out into the stands.] Jeff: These two are reading to get it o- Tim: Wait, we're still awaiting the World Champ... Jeff: Oh yeah, our "Special Enforcer". [The lights fade out, as orange lights start to strobe through the crowd. The voice of Rykopathe mutters out "Cause I'm one step closer...", followed by "One Step Closer" by Linkin Park blast through the arena. J. Simon Rykopathe emerges from the back to a mix of boos and cheers. With his World Title around his waist, and a chair in hand, Rykopathe walks to the ring and sets up the chair on the outside. He takes a seat and gives a nod to the referee, as the music fades out and the lights return to normal.] Tim: I guess Rykopathe isn't taking his 'Enforcer' job too seriously... Jeff: Why would you? He doesn't have to earn a shot at his own World Title...
J. Simon Rykopathe = Special Enforcer at Ringside [The bell sounds, as Davison and Blackjack lock up in the center of the ring. Blackjack gains control and backs Davison to a corner. He punches Davison a few times in the stomach and then starts blasting his chest with chops. Davison tries to cover up, but Blackjack gains an opening and DDT's him down to the ground. Blackjack attempts a quick pin.] Tim: What the fu- [One... ...T...KICKOUT!!] Jeff: Why'd Blackjack go for a pin so early!?! Tim: Maybe he just wants to get this match over with... [Blackjack lifts up Davison to his feet, and punches him a few more times. He whips Davison to the ropes, but Davison reverses it. Blackjack bounces off the cables and is met with a flipping dropkick from Davison. Blackjack drops to the mat HARD, and bounces up to his feet, only to get knocked down with another dropkick. Blackjack hits the mat again and pops up once again. He runs at Davison, who whips him to the ropes. Upon coming back, Blackjack is hiptossed over. Blackjack slides to the outside, and starts a tantrum.] Jeff: Looks like BJ needs a timeout... Tim: Well, he shouldn't underestimate Chris Davison. [Blackjack pounds the apron, but gets thrown back into the ring by Rykopathe. Blackjack quickly gets up and yells back at Rykopathe, who just stands there arrogantly. Suddenly, Davison schoolboys Blackjack and attempts a pin.] Tim: Schoolboy!! [One... ...Two... ...KICKOUT!!] Jeff: Still too early... [Davison quickly pops up and bounces off the ropes. He runs over Blackjack and bounces off the other side. Davison attempts a hurricanrana, but Blackjack catches him. Blackjack slowly lowers Davison down into a piledriver position and drives his head down into the mat. Davison's neck compresses upon impact as the fans gasp.] Tim: What a Piledriver by the former World Champ. [Blackjack stands up and shouts something at Rykopathe again. This prompts Rykopathe to grab his chair and fold it up. Blackjack smirks over at him a little, and then begins stomping on Davison. He lifts up Davison by the hair and quickly snap suplexes him over. Blackjack rolls with the suplex, and snaps him over again. Blackjack rolls once again, lifts him up vertical and drops him HARD to the mat with a brainbuster.] Tim: What a sequence by Blackjack!! Jeff: He looks on top of things, now... [Blackjack pulls Davison up to his feet and backs him towards the ropes. Blackjack chops him once.] ["WHOO"] [Blackjack chops him a second time.] ["WHOO"] [Blackjack attempts another chop, but Davison ducks under and hits a few chops of his own.] ["WHOO-WHOO-WHOO"] [Davison wrings out Blackjack's arms and then whips him to the other side. Blackjack bounces off the ropes, and ducks under a Davison leapfrog. He stalls and turns around, as Davison now bounces to the ropes. Blackjack leans down for a backdrop, but Davison grabs him in a front chancery. Davison leaps backward a little, bounces his feet off of the ropes, and launches himself over Blackjack, delivering a springboard somersault neckbreaker. The fans pop, as Davison raises a single arm in the air.] Tim: What an innovative manuveur by Chris Davison!! [Davison hops up to his feet and slides out onto the apron. Blackjack slowly gets up, and Davison springs off the top rope. He flies through the air and takes out Blackjack with a missle dropkick. On the outside of the ring, Tempest cheers a little as Rykopathe stands near the apron with the chair still. In the ring, Davison quickly picks up Blackjack and locks on a full nelson. Davison grunts a little, as he lifts up, and throws over the 234 -pounder with a dragon suplex pin.] Tim: Dragon Suplex!! [One... ...Two... ...Thr...KICKOUT!!] [Blackjack rolls to the apron, as Davison clutches his head. Davison slowly rises to his feet, as Blackjack stands up on the apron. Davison looks at Blackjack and then bounces off the opposite ropes. He runs at Blackjack, who grabs over the top rope and hooks on a hiptoss. Using Davison's own momentum, Blackjack throws Davison over the top rope ALL THW WAY INTO THE CROWD; while landing on the concrete below.] Tim & Jeff: HOLY SHIT!! ["H-W-F, H-W-F, H-W-F, H-W-F"] Tim: Blackjack just hit the Full Effect into the crowd!! [Blackjack lays on the ground, as Davison's body gets surfed about the arena. Eventually, Tempest convinces the fans to surf him back to the ring, and they do so. Tempest grabs Chris's body and slowly rolls him back up onto the apron. He looks out of it. O nthe other side of the ring, Rykopathe helps Blackjack to his feet. Blackjack gives Rykopathe a weird look, as Rykopathe helps him onto the apron. Blackjack, who is still half-out-of-it, starts entering the ring but is suddenly BLASTED in the back with the World Title belt.] Jeff: OH SHIT!! [Blackjack crumbles into the ring, and crawls away from the laughing Rykopathe. Tempest starts trying to revive Davison, and eventually does so. Davison begins crawling towards Blackjack and the two begin duking it out on their knees. Blackjack hits a clean right hand, and then another. Davison comes back with a couple shots to the chest. Blackjack leans back a little, and Davison amazingly hits a dropkick OFF OF HIS KNEES!!] Jeff: WOW!! Tim: In all my years of announcing, I've never seen a Dropkick from the knees... [Blackjack falls down hard, as the fans cheer the unique move. Davison quickly gets to his feet and lifts up Blackjack. On the other side of the ring, Rykopathe warms up with the chair. Davison grabs Blackjack's arm and irish whips him to those ropes. Blackjack reverses, as Rykopathe swings. Davison flies back into the ropes and gets stuck with the chair right in his back. Davison stumbles out towards the center of the ring, and Blackjack drops him with a standing side kick.] Jeff: End of the Road!! [Rykopathe shrugs his shoulders at the camera, but suddenly draws back as Tempest begins stalking him around the ring. Rykopathe backs up a little, but then drops the chair and waits for her. The two begin duking it out back and forth. Tempest gains control, and whips Rykopathe into the guardrail. Rykopathe reels out, and Tempest runs at her. Rykopathe lifts Tempest up into a fireman's carry and swings her around into a DDT right on the hard concrete floor.] Tim: NO!! Jeff: Jesus... Rykopathe just gave that woman a Blackout on the arena floor!! Tim: Why though!?! Jeff: Because she stuck her nose where it didn't belong... that's why!! [Rykopathe stands up and stomps her a couple times, before heading to the back.] Tim: Hey, where's he going!?! The match isn't over... Jeff: But, it's about to be... [In the ring, Blackjack has a front chancery locked on Davison and is signalling for the end. Blackjack lifts up Davison in a vertical suplex and holds him there for a good 10 seconds. Suddenly, Davison begins kicking his feet and floats over into a rear chacery. Davison quickly switches into an inverted standing head scissors, and locks both of Blackjack's arms. He stalls a little, and then drops down to his knees - impacting BJ's head weirdly with the mat.] Tim: INVERTED BACKLASH!! [Davison gains his composure and falls ovber Blackjack's lifeless body.] Jeff: Wait, what's happening!?! [One... ...Two... ....THREE!!] Tim: What an upset!! Jeff: Chris Davison just beat Blackjack!! Chris Davison just beat Blackjack!! [Davison's theme kicks back in, as the ref helps him to his feet. Davison looks for Tempest, and see sher down on the outside. He stops celebrating, and slides to the outside. He runs at Tempest and starts trying to wake her up.] Tim: I wonder what's going through Davison's mind right now... Jeff: I wonder who's gonna be facing Rykopathe at the PPV. [Davison slowly picks Tempest up and helps her to the backstage area.] Tim: We'll be right back... [The shot cuts away to The Street Syndicate’s locker room. Spike is busy preparing for the match, stretching his claves and thighs. A short moment later, the door swings open to show Chris Thrilla, Chris Styles and Jonathan Storm - with a black stereo over Storm’s shoulder. Spike stops stretching, looking up at the trio with a questioning glance.] Spike: And… I need music to stretch? Thrilla: Fuck no… this is… *Storm places the stereo on the floor next to a wall outlet – plugs it in*… just a little something else to get you hyped up for the match, man. [Storm jabs a button on the top of the stereo. At that moment, slow, deep beats pound out of the speakers. Spike begins to bob his head, and starts to get up from his stretches.] Spike: You read my mind, bro… Thrilla: Then start it up, yo! Spike: Sounds like we’re already going. Thrilla: Then don’t stop… keep the rhymes flowing…
Spike: Yah… I’ve always got people looking me down, so I’m like, yo bitch, th’ fuck did I do?
Sing your little song, and dance your little dance,
Thrilla: You keep bitchin’ at me, mother fucker, I’ll take you to class.
Beatin’ you up, and beatin’ you down,
Spike: Flex the pecks,
I could beat you down slow, or cut you up fast, [Thrilla is about to pick up where he Spike left off, but stops, and motions for him to continue. Spike shrugs and obliges.]
Tell you, it’s time for you to see the light,
Smooth as silk, soft like a baby’s ass, [Styles and Storm clap approvingly, nodding their heads at the tag champions.] Thrilla: Ye-ah… you ready now? Spike: I’m fuckin’ ready now… [Spike cracks his neck to both sides, bouncing on the balls on his feet, keeping himself warmed up. Thrilla stops and looks away, stroking his chin in thought.] Thrilla: Yo… you know something? That was pretty hype… we could get a recording contract if we wanted… Spike: A recording contract? What’re you talking about? Storm: Yeah, we could go into the recording business as a team, and wrestle in the HWF as a team! Spike: Yo, Johnny boy, let’s see if we can actually get something done tonight before you make plans that completely suck ass... [Before Spike can say anything more, Thrilla interrupts.] Thrilla: If? Double H, you surprise me! Of course we’re getting something done tonight... or, I should say, the Wrecking Crew and the Warriors of the Rising Sun will be getting something done TO them tonight... lots of VIOLENT SHIT... Styles: And you bring up a Lasek catchphrase to emphasize this... why? Thrilla: Hey Chris, guess what? Styles: What? Thrilla: *flips him off* [The whole Street Syndicate begins to laugh – all except Styles, who shakes his head slowly] [Commercials]
Hardcore Title - Shattered Dreams Match [The sound of wind is heard followed by the sound of a guitar. The lights dim to a dull red color, the color of dried blood. A chill runs through crowd as a single flame appears in the center of the stage. As "Symphony of the Stalker" picks up, the flame grows and grows. Suddenly as the song picks up fully, the stage explodes in gray and black pyrotechnics. As the smoke clears, the flame remains on the stage as Night Stalker, clad in a black trenchcoat and black sunglasses, walks out. He walks to the flame and blows it out then walks down the ramp. Stalker steps into the cell, climbs the ring steps and enters the ring. He walks to the far corner and leans against it, waiting for the match to start.] Tim: Night Stalker has a big chance here tonight... He could walk out of here the HWF Hardcore Champion! Jeff: But before he does that, he has to go through the champion! [The sounds of wind rushing is heard through the arena, as the temperature drops down in the building... giving an eerie, chilling atmosphere. Smoke starts to flow out of the entranceway. Suddenly, you hear...] "IN YOUR SLEEP... I... WILL HUNT YOU.. DOWN!!!" [With that, Green Jelly's "Orange Krunch" hits the speakers. After a moment of letting the music blast, Rage walks out of the back, head facing down. He walks to the edge of the ramp, and just stands there with his head down and his hair hanging over his face, letting the music play. Suddenly, he snaps his head up and looks directly at the ring, and starts walking towards it with a purpose. . . never taking his eyes off the ring. When he gets to the ring, Rage stops at ringside and just stares into it. After a brief moment, he reaches up and grabs the second rope, and climbs up onto the apron. Rage then steps into the ring, and starts slowly walking around it, taking notice of everything around him. Finally, he walks over to a corner of the ring, hops up on the top turnbuckle, sits there, and waits as his music gradually fades.] Tim: Indeed you're right... Before Night Stalker can become the champion, he must beat the reigning king of hardcore - Rage! Jeff: Oh, Tim... I'm giddy! Shattered Dreams Match, I love it! Tim: Don't piss yourself Jeff, but true to word, this match is just about ready to start! Jeff: Aw, yes! Tim: You ok, there bud? Jeff: Of course. [*Ding Ding Ding*] Jeff: YES! Tim: Um, Jeff... Are you having orgasm? Jeff: Uh, no... [Night Stalker and Rage walk around the squared circle, looking to lock up. The two stop circling and come together in a collar and elbow tie up. After a battle for strength, Rage overcomes Stalker and shoves him back into the corner. Stalker picks himself up, smirking just a bit. Rage runs towards him with a fist, but Stalker ducks. Rage smacks into the corner, then turns into a shin kick into the ribs. Stalker then hooks Rage in a front chancery - throwing Rage's arm over his shoulder - then grabs a fistful of his tights and lifts the champion up onto the top turnbuckle. Stalker climbs to the second rope and looks to do something spectacular, but Rage quickly attacks Stalker with an iron claw!] Tim: Iron Claw! Jeff: Night Stalker is stuck in the claw, on the second rope! [Night Stalker swings, connecting with Rage's face numerous times. After about six punches to the face, Rage lets the claw go. Stalker is too exhausted from the claw to capitalize, stumbling back to the glass canvas. Rage slowly stands on the top rope, waiting for Stalker to turn around. Night Stalker stumbles to look to Rage - who dives off the turnbuckle. Stalker quickly sidesteps Rage, causing the Hardcore champion to crash land to the glass!] Jeff: Oh! Rage bounced off the glass! [Night Stalker walks to Rage, who is curled up in a ball. Stalker nonchalantly drops an elbow to the center of Rage's back, causing the champion to scream. Night Stalker stands back up, grabbing a fistful of Rage's hair. As he pulls him up, Rage connects with a hard body punch. Stalker is forced to back off, holding his stomach. Before he can turn back, Rage runs and jumps - catching Night Stalker's head in a reverse front chancery - driving his opponent face first into the mat with a bulldog!] Tim: Rage with a bulldog! He's so resiliant, it's amazing! [Rage is right back to his feet, pulling Night Stalker up. Rage hooks his opponent in a modified front chancery, lifting him up as if for a sideways body slam. Rage then drops to his side, drilling Night Stalker into the glass with a side body slam!] Jeff: Side body slam! Rage is building some momentum, now! [Rage steps through the ropes to the outside of the ring. He grabs the ring curtain and tosses it up - gaining a pop from the crowd. Rage crouches down to look under the ring. He reaches under, pulling out a metallic trash can. Rage throws the can over the ropes, into the ring. He crouches back down, then pulls out a 2x4 and a "Reduce Speed" sign!] Tim: Rageis bringing out his toys! Did he steal that sign?! Jeff: Of course not, Tim. He'll put it back up when he's finished... [Rage throws the last of his goodies under the ropes and slides in. Night Stalker is standing, a big groggy. Rage charges for a clothesline, but his adversary has played him a fool. Night Stalker was easily ready to fight again and ducks the clothesline, then catches Rage in a front chancery as soon as he turns around. Night Stalker drops to his back, planting Rage with a monstrous DDT!!] Tim: Don't count Night Stalker out of this match yet! [Night Stalker gets back up and walks to the ropes, stepping onto the apron and then to the floor. He throws up the ring curtain on an adjacent side of the ring. The fans once again pop as they get a more familiar object - a table. Stalker slides the table into the ring, easily gliding over the smooth glass. Night Stalker then grabs the ropes, pulling himself up and into the ring. Rage is right back up, holding onto the "Reduce Speed" sign. He charges and swings at Stalker, but he ducks. Rage turns again into a kick to the gut, and Night Stalker puts Rage into a standing head scissors. He locks his hands around Rage's waist and lifts the Hardcore champion onto his shoulders. Rage is one step ahead - he had never dropped the sign! With a loud "THWACK!" the sign is bent and Night Stalker collapses backward to the glass - Rage riding down on his chest. The landing is almost the equivalent of Doink the Clown's "Whoopie Cushion" made famous in the mid-1990's.] Jeff: Whoa! Rage has great endurance and he showed some intelligence, too! Tim: I'll give the devil his dues... Rage was quite crafty on that one. [Rage gets off of Stalker's chest and throws down the mangled sign. He walks to the table, setting it on its side. He opens one leg, leaving the remaining leg closed against the table. Rage picks up the table, sliding it over the glass, into a diagonal lean in the corner. Night Stalker - meanwhile - rolls onto his side, feeling for pain in both his forehead and sternum. As a true warrior, he pushes himself off of the mat to his hands and knees. Rage comes running at him, drilling the man in the side of the head with a dropkick!! Stalker immediately collapses, face down on the glass.] Tim: My God! He just dropkicked a man in the side of the head! Jeff: I know! Don't you love it? [Rage gets back to his feet, smiling. He walks over to the trash can, picking it up with his left hand. Rage steps through the ropes onto the apron, walking to the turnbuckle. With the trash can in one hand, he navigates the turnbuckle until he reaches the top. Night Stalker - just beginning to stir - looks up at his opponent. Rage raises the can over his head, then leaps off. In the very last second, Night Stalker rolls clear, allowing Rage to free fall with a guillotine leg drop and trash can aid straight to the glass canvas!!] Tim: Rage missed again!!! Jeff: Night Stalker is as slippery as a bar of soap! [Stalker uses the crowd's cheers to pull himself to his feet. Without much grace, he walks to Rage and pulls the Hardcore champion to his feet. Stalker grabs the 2x4 as Rage battles to keep his balance. Stalker swings it over hand, connecting with Rage's skull!! The 2x4 splits in half - the smaller portion flying off into the crowd! Rage stands there, a blank expression on his face. Finally, he falls over like a tree - smacking to the cold glass mat.] Tim: Good God! What a shot to the head! [Just as it looks like Night Stalker has the advantage, the fans jump to their feet. To the entranceway they point, causing the camera to pan to that direction. Walking down the aisle is none other than the former Hardcore Champion and "Original Prankster," J.D. Brady! Brady is carrying a pair of wire cutters, plus a smirk from ear to ear.] Jeff: What is he doing here? Tim: I can't even imagine! All I know is that he and Rage are not finished with their battle... [Stalker sees Brady - frowns - then turns back to Rage. He grabs the Hardcore champ by the hair and pulls him into a front chancery. Meanwhile, Brady has begun to cut his way into the cell! Night Stalker screams, looking for the finish.] Jeff: This could be the Light of Dawn! [Rage suddenly reaches up, locking in the iron claw! The fans are amazed by his endurance, as is Night Stalker.] Tim: Rage is inhuman! I'm not lying, he is a MACHINE! [JD cut the final chain link portion to get himself in the cell. He steps through, then rolls into the ropes. Rage has let go of the iron claw, his back to JD Brady. Rage and Night Stalker stand face to face, each man breathing heavily. Brady picks up steam and charges towards Rage! Rage barely sidesteps the attack, causing Brady to spear Night Stalker through the table!!] Jeff: AHH!! [HWF! HWF! HWF!] Tim: Brady accidently speared Night Stalker through the table!!! [Rage comes to grab Brady, but is caught with a kick to the groin! Brady grabs him in a front chancery and hooks his leg - then lifts him up and drops him with an implant DDT through the glass!!!] [HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!] Jeff: OH MY GOD!!! PRANKED YA!!! Tim: JD Brady has put Rage through the glass!!! Who is the hardcore champion!? [After a long delay of frantic talking, "The Game" by Disturbed hits the PA and brings out HWF Owner Chaz Manson.] Chaz: Well, isn't this a dilemma?! After a few seconds of thought, I feel this match will be rewarded to... NIGHT STALKER!!! [Fans pop a little] Chaz: BUT! Because JD was the one who put Rage through the glass, the hardcore title will NOT change hands! [A surprised crowd jeers.] Chaz: Hey, I'm sorry... but it's in the interest of fairness! [For Chaz's snide hint to Vince McMahon, the crowd boos. Chaz leaves, while "Original Prankster" plays, causing the show to go to commercial.] [Commercial] [Silky comes out to the ring with a microphone in hand. No mirth is in his eyes or manner as he marches to the squared circle. He climbs in and runs his hand accross his throat, signaling to cut the music. He turns on the microphone, appearing aggitated.] Jeff: No music? Silky: Shut your DAMN mouths! [The crowd erupts, some booing, some cheering. Silky goes on, unconcerned.] Silky: Silky Palms has been in the HWF for nearly a year. Everytime Silky Palms steps foot in the ring, Silky takes his opponent to his limits. [Silky begins to become more animated in the ring, walking the ropes] Silky: Silky F'n Palms has beat everyone thrown at him, and Silky Palms has NEVER gotten a title shot. Now, last week, some buffed up clown with greasy hair... [The fans cheer Blackjacks name, excited at this unexpected topic...] Silky: Yeah, yeah... heh... Blackjack... [Huge pop...] Silky: Blackjack, you fought Chris Davison earlier tonight... something I myself have had the pleasure of doing. I'm sure it was a great match, but, I didn't watch it, cause I was busy taking a shit. Truth to tell, BJ... that's what got me thinking of you. Y'see, this HWF, its a real 'good old boy' network.... new guys, like me, they come out here, each week... work their asses off for a shot... [Silky steps up onto the ropes and snaps] Silky: WHILE WASHED UP, PIECES OF SHIT LIKE YOU KEEP GETTING MY SHOT!!! MY FUCKIN' SHOT, BJ! [The crowd loses it in response to this tyrade, and Silky jumps down from the ropes, and marches over to another camera gettign right in the lens...] Silky: Blackjack, you have to beat THREE men to secure that shot... well, you've had your first match, and while I'd hardly call Davison a 'man', I'm sure you've won that one... that leaves two more... well, BJ.... You're lookin' at #3! And if I win... WHEN I win.... it's not gonna BE Blackjack vs. Rykopathe... It's gonna be The Sexmachine exacting his pound of flesh from the guy that put him on the shelf back in September... Silky vs. Rykopathe, Seven! Bet on it! [Silky's music hits, and he drops the mic, stormign out of the ring and heading to the parking lot for his upcoming matchup.] Jeff: Wow, Silky is fired up tonight - I'd hate to be Gavin Coens who he's facing RIGHT UP NEXT. Tim: Speaking of Gavin... [Cut to backstage, as we fade in on the scene once more, where Gavin is still waiting for Drake to show up. Suddenly a stage hand runs down the halls to talk to Gavin...] Stage Hand: Hey Mr. Coens you're match is up next and you're supposed to be dressed and in the parking lot. You've got to hurry up! Gavin: Gavin-Damn it! Alright, I'll just go wrestle my match against the cross-dressing freak and then I'll be back in time to catch Drake. It'll work out perfectly. [Gavin drops his lunch and soda can as he darts down the hallway. The camera pans 180 degrees to reveal Drake walking down the opposite hallway. He walks up to his door and notices the paper bag. He picks it up, looks inside, and brings it inside of his dressing room with him, along with the soda!] Jeff: Damn Silky wannabe isn't even ready for his match against The Silkster! Tim: Man, can you ceace the Insanity? Jeff: Fuck you ho bitch hag. Tim: Why you... Jeff: Wegottacuttoehtstinkin'commercials! Tim: Da... [Commercials] Tim: And we're back, and as you can see backstage, Silky is waiting ready - for his opponent in the next matchup - Gavin Coens. Jeff: This will be a Parking Lot Brawl or sumthun', and Silky's dressed for the occasion! Tim: Uh, how? He just looks as Silky as ever. Jeff: Well, look...he's not clad in latex! He's donnin' some red 'n black warm up pants! Tim: Oh, gee, how noticable of you.
Parking Lot Brawl [You then see Silky turn around as in runs Gavin Coens, fresh from his Drake-waiting experience. Gavin flies across to Silky and lands a big flying forearm on him before Silky can respond. Silkg goes down and rolls backwards into a nearby wall.] Tim: And It's ON! Jeff: You wouldn't think God's would be so cheap! Tim: God's? Jeff: Doesn't Coens refer to himself as a God or something? Tim: Uh, no. [Coens seems pretty intense, as he won't even let Silky get back up. Coens follows up with some chop-saki kicks to the head of Silky, or in American - some stomps. Silky manages to catch a boot, while still in the sitting position, before pushing Coens away just enough to let himself back to his feet. Silky then runs in and shoulderblocks Gavin, which only stumbles God backwards to a real enterence to the car-filled parkinglot. Silky continues, with a barrage of Silky-Punches onto Gavin, stumbling Gavin backwards in front of an awesome lookin' mobile. Gavin the blocks one, and spins Silky around. Silky staggers and Gavin scoops him up, and readies himself for a Fall-away slam. Gavin then spins 180 degrees to put his back to the car. Gavin throws back Silky with the FA slam, and sends Palms crashing through the windsheild!!] Jeff: OH MAH GOD! Silky's not doin' his Pimp-town beatdown like normal! He's gettin' bitchsmacked around worse than Tempest in...a......well...in any Tempest match. Tim: So Silky's...uh...WINNING?! Jeff: Common Silky! You can't get beaten up SOOOO EARLY. Save it for tonight, with the women! [Gavin hops up onto the roof of the car. But Silky doesn't really look too phased by a Front Seat position.] Tim: What's Silky doin' there in the Front Seat? Jeff: Well, nothin' like his old Back Seat Special. [Silky sits up in the front seat, before hopping out the other side as Gavin bends down to look through the window to grab Silky. Gavin realises quickly what the go is, and quickly turns around as Silky hops up onto the roof in front of him. Gavin then does a huge Rocky-esque punch to Silky, which staggers the Silksyer...but then Gavin's second attempt is ducked, which makes Coens end up back-first to Silky. Silky then delivers a fierce kidney-directed forearm, which makes Gavin bend over in agony. Silky then reaches down in a reverse-inverted Gutwrench thingy, then does a wrong-way-around Dominator to Gavin on the CAR ROOF! Which sends Gavin bouncing down, before he rolls to the side in pain - leaving a Gavin-sized imprint in the roof for the lucky car owner.] Jeff: These guys didn't even wait, they're just givin' it all....to end it all RIGHT FROM THE WORD...GO! Tim: You know, Gavin busted the roof up pretty bad on that one. [Silky looks pleased with his efforts before pickin' Coens up and tossing him off the roof of the car to the cold floor below. Coens cruches off the floor, as Silky hops down off Broken Car Numero Uno. Silky then pulls Gav-Coe up to his feet, before whipping him HARD backwards into the same car. Coens hunches up, grabbing his back immediately. As Gav drops to his knees, Silky starts clubbing Coens over the back. Silky then picks Coens up to his feet again, before wipping Coens back across the lot. Coens almost runs chest first into the hood of a car, but instead he rolls up, awkwardly though - and lies on the hood for a break. Silky then hops up onto the hood and bends down to pick Coens up, but Coens grabs on of Silky's legs and pulls it out from under him causing Silky to fall HARD on his ass on the hood then backwards roll onto his head off the car.] Tim: Ow, such a simple move can look so painfull! [The Silky One and The Godly One start to get up slowly, with Gavin to his feet first. Silky then gets to his feet, and looks up as Coens leaps down, catching Silky in a front facelock - then spinning 180 degrees into a sweeeeeet Tornado DDT ONTO THE CONCRETE! Both men feel the brunt of it though, Silky's head denting the ground and Coens landing awkwardly on the back of his head aswell due to the leaping angle. But Coens has the adrenaline flowing through his veigns (do god's have veigns?) and he pops right back up - noticably favoring his neck. He then tugs, to the best of his abilty - and pulls off a guard from the front of a car. Coens then lies it across the throat of Silky, then jumps and lands with a leg either side of Silky's head - causing the guard to bend across Silky's neck.] Jeff: IYAK! Coens is damn frustrated with God's Real Best Creation. Tim: I actually agree.... Jeff: Agree? Tim: With the FIRST thing you said. [Coens then walks off, to a nearby loading bay - in persuit of some weapons. Instantly as Gavin has his back turned, Silky is to his feet!] Jeff: What the?! SILKY IS UNSTOPPABLE! [Silky then reaches down to his Warm Up's and with a Comic Book-like Removal....there it is. Silky's there - balls and all - in a Fully stuffed black athletic supporter. I mean, this is some crazy shit. His manhood runneth over.] Tim: Oh my, Silky and Gavin's homophobia seen in the weekly Promo's have gone too far! [Silky yells out to Gavin, causing Coens to turn around....] Gavin: Oooouuuuhgggggggg! [Gavin's quick to shade his eyes, but then he runs at Silky in a HUGE fit of rage! But then as he gets to Silky - Silky leaps up with the old cock-to-face Lou Thesz Press, then rubbing it in to the Gavinly One.] Jeff: YEAH! That'll teach Gavin for callin' Silky a homo! Tim: What the? Silky's more homo then EVER before at the moment! Jeff: Before? Tim: Shuddupa Your Face! [Silky then hops up, and looks at the nearby cameraman and does a very hideous Silky Crotch Chop with lil ol Mini Silk boppin' around for the joy of the audience.] Tim: Ahhh my eyes! I cant' see! I'm blind...help me...help meh pleaz! [Silkster then turns and hops onto the hood of a car again. As Gavin is slow to his feet, spitting and cursing away, he turns to see Silky fly at him....catching Gavin in the 'ol Mosh Pit (ala Flying Hurricanrana rode down into a simple Butt Squash type move), but as Silky lands down on Gavin's head - he then does the most wierd and Gay-o-rific thing we've EVER seen. He starts boucning up and down, like he's ridin' a bronco - in a Silkyfied Bronco Buster!] Jeff: That's what we call a Ruff Buster! A Bronco Rider? A Ruff Rider or a Bronco Buster! Or....we can call it "Just another day in the Brothel" [Silky gets up but the move has actually irritated Gavin more than hurt him - although it did look quite painfull - and Gavin tonks Silky right in the buldging nutsac with a devastating forearm thrust upwards. Gavin then eeeks as he just realises he's touched balls, but Silky is down....in ALOT of pain!] Tim: This is halarious! What would of seemed to be the most violent match on the card, has turned into Silky making fun of Gavin. [Gavin then rolls Silky up onto the hood of the car Silky lept from. Coens is quick hop up there too, and signals for the end. Coens throws Silky's head in between his legs...] Jeff: Ahh the homo-phobia run overeth. [....Coens then pulls him up for a powerbomb....BUT....Silky grabs hold of Coens' head so he can't be powerbombed. Silky then strats to grind his hips around, causing Coen's to let go of Silky's back and stumble around in homo-agony. Silky then lets go and with a final big ass grind - he backflips over sending Coens flying off the car in a huge ass hurricanrana. BUT, this also fucks Silky up as Silky's head rotates around and bashes off the hood of the car on the way down - instantly busting his nose up.] Tim: Ahhhh! Silky's busted open. And Gavin's Busted in half! What's going to happen next. [Then you hear a multitude of voices, as in from off-screen run the PIMP SQUAD! Sho'Nuff, Cokey, Big Daddy and Superfly run in and instantly quad-team Gavin with their weapon's 'o choice.] Jeff: GET 'EM SQUAD! GET 'EM! That's what you get Gavin - for insultin' them durin' a promo! Watch you're mouth God. [The camera quickly cuts to the outside of the arena - where a lovely powder-blue Volkswagon Beetle drives into the arena. BUT, the action continues in the parking lot. As the Squad quad-team Gavin as Silky manages to get to his feet and whipe some blood of his chin and mouth. He looks happy with his team, who's absolutely demolishing Gavin. But then from outside the screen "Beep! Beep!" is heard as the Powder Blue VW Bug hoons into the screen driving straight at the Squad. The Four Boys' hightail it off screen, droppin' the weapons and getting chased off by the VW Bug.] Jeff: NOOOO, what the hell?! Why would some fan want to chase off the Squad?! Tim: You imbicile - that's Tempest's car! She hates the squad too! [Silky is distracted by the happenings and almost forgets Coens as he goes after the car, but then remembers he has a chance to win. Silky walks over, and picks up Coens...who has been trying to catch his breath - leaning on a car - and turns Coens around to lock on a Front Facing Crucifix Armbar with Neck Submission!] Jeff: OH THE IRONY! Tim: What da? Jeff: Look, he's Crucifying.....GOD with his Stranglehold Omega!! [Just as it looks that Coens is about to give, Silky turns and is once again distracted as the VW Bug pulls into a parking bay nearby. Silky drops the hold, and turns around, but Gavin manages to grab both of Silkys arms and double arm bar them. Before turning 180 and Cardinyl Sinning Silky RIGHT INTO THE FRONT OF THE CAR with Silky's face smashing into the headlight! Gavin rolls Silky over for a cover.] [One... ...Two... THREE!!] Jeff: OH MY GOD! Tim: Gee Jeff, if I was a wrestler - I wouldn't want you as the #1 fan. Look what you do to them? First Sterling - his pride shattered - beaten by Storm. Now Silky - beaten by a God! Jeff: Shut up you ho. [Out of the VW steps Tempest followed by Trouble, not looking beat up at all from earlier in the night. She looks just as beautiful as ever. Gavin begins to make his way toward Tempest, as he begins to wipe the sweat and blood away from his eyes. He limps over towards her as she sports a beautiful smile. Gavin stops directly in front of her, and puts on his sly look] Gavin: Hey Tempest! Thanks for the assist but I hope you realize that Gavin had everything perfectly under control. The 70's throwbacks were exactly where I wanted them to be. Of course, I wouldn't expect you to realize that. The plan of a God is quite hard to figure out. ...So? Why don't you and I get a drink at the local tavern? I heard the commoners speaking very highly of it. Maybe I could explain things a little clearer? And perhaps open your eyes to something of pure perfection? [Tempest looked at him with an eyebrow arched and said...] Tempest: You had everything under control? So uh...that's why you were face down, curled up in a little ball? [She rolled her eyes and then said...] Tempest: And I'm afraid I have plans for the evening ...with my FIANCEE. [Gavin looks confused] Gavin: Now I don't exactly speak Spanish very well, that's more Jack Daddy's department. But if you wanna bring your little puppy along, then that's fine by me! I'm great with animals! [Tempest's eyelids fluttered] Tempest: No, the man I'm going to marry. Chris Davison. You know? that guy I live with? [Gavin's eyes grow wide, and his shock is apparent] Gavin: You live with that guy? I always thought he was like your brother or something. You guys do look alike an awful lot. Anyways, I'm cool with the whole "getting married" thing if you are. Just because someone found you first doesn't mean I should deprived. Right? [Tempest smacked her forehead and said...] Tempest: I don't believe this. Listen I gotta be going now. Try and stay out of trouble. And I'll stick a little plastic Gavin on my dashboard just for you. [She smiled and patted his shoulder before turning away as she said...] Tempest: C'mon Trouble. [Gavin peers down to see her little puppy, named fittingly Trouble, "relieving himself" on Gavin's brand new wrestling boots! Gavin jumped up as the dog finished and followed along with its master.] Gavin: Is this that Chris you were talking about?!? [Commercials] [The camera quickly cuts backstage, as we see Wildcat Williams, gym bag over his shoulder, walking out of the parking garage and towards the main entrance. Coming into view is correspondant Tony Bradshaw, as he runs up to Williams.] Tony Bradshaw: Wildcat! Anything you want to tell us and the fans at home before you step foot in the Hell in the Cell with Street Sindicate? [Wildcat stops, turns to Bradshaw, and eyeballs him, making Bradshaw look, at the least, incredibly uncomfortable.] Wildcat: No more time for words, all the talk is over with. I'll promise you one damn thing though, hoss...somebody is gettin' wheeled out on a stretcher, and it ain't gonna be me or Big Texas...And you can bet your bottom dollar on that, from the CPA himself. [Wildcat storms away, entering the main entrance, leaving Tony Bradshaw in his wake, scratching his head.] Tim: Would you look at that... Jeff: YES!! AGAIN!! [The camera pans over to the ring, where a Hell in a Cell lowers slowly down to the arena floor. Two unknown refs stand alone in the ring, as the Cell hits the hard concrete floor. Some HWF technicians chain the cell into place, and then skamper towards the back. One of the ref hops out of the ring and opens the door to the cell, as the other remains in the middle of the ring.] Tim: This will be the second modified 'Cell match of the night, fans. Jeff: And we all know how the first one turned out. Tim: Yeah, I can still hear the glass shattering from the Hardcore Title Match... [Suddenly, "What If" by Creed hits the speakers. The fans begin cheering in anticipation. The Wrecking Crew, Rickey and Billy Williams, make their way out to the ring. The get about halfway down the entrance way when they motion to the back. Just then, Tatsumi and Jin of the Warriors of the Rising Sun run out from the back. Tatsumi has a mic in hand, and the four men trot to the ring and enter the Cell. Tatsumi stalls outside the ring and looks towards the locker room. He raises the mic and begins speaking.] Tatsumi Hashimoto: The HWF... a place of levels... a place of the misguided... and a place of harsh unyielding divisions. Divisions not only enforced by the shows you see, but enforced by the words of men like our opponents. The Street Syndicate are men so unsecure in their own place in this feudalistic federation that they have to comfort themselves with name calling. For them to call us 'curtain jerkers' or 'Nothing' makes them feel more secure in their position here. The problem is that this tactic is mindgame... not one they're playing on us, but one their own minds have played on them. They've tricked themselves into seeing us as a non-threat.... and why? Because for them to look on us with unclouded eyes would be to much. For them to see just how close we are to pushing them over the edge and back to the bottom of the pile would drive them crazy. The truth of the matter is that the Street Syndicate is just hanging by a thread... *lifting his Sickle beside his face* and we're about to cut it! [Tatsumi throws the mic near a ring attendant, and then enters the ring. "A Place for my Head" by Linkin Park blasts through the PA system, as the fans begin boo'ing loudly. Spike and Thrilla emerge from the back, with the Tag Titles thrown over their respective shoulders. Jonathon Storm quickly follows, with his Canadian Title; and Chris Styles soon after him. Thrilla has a mic in his hand, and he waits for the music to die down. Spike laughs at the four men down in the ring, as Thrilla slowly raises the mic towards his mouth.] Thrilla: Yo Warriors! Crew! As "exciting" as squashing the four of you would have been, me and the rest of the Street Syndicate believe it's up to us to make it exciting for you the fans! So here are some added stips for this little Hell in a Cell match. If one of the Wrecking Crew pins a Street Syndicate member, you guys then get a tag title shot next week. If one of the Warriors pins a Street Syndicate member, you guys get a tag title shot next weekend. But if, actually WHEN one of the Street Syndicate members pin or make one of you guys submit, Teen Angst gets the book over both of you two half assed dark match fodder teams! Hope the four of you are ready to Dropout! [Thrilla drops the mic and the Street Syndicate walks down the ramp and towards the imposing Cell.] Tim: What an oppurtunity for these two teams!! Jeff: Yeah, but will the Warriors are Crew stick together now!?! [The bell sounds, as the Syndicate enters the ring and stands across from the Warriors and Crew.] Tim: I think we're about to find out...
8-Man Hell in a Cell Match [The ref outside of the ring slams the Cell door shut and chains it up. The ref inside slowly backs away from the center of the ring. The two teams of four slowly circle the ring. Suddenly, Rickey Williams bounces off the back ropes towards Jon Storm. Jon leapfrogs him, and Rickey bounces off the other ropes. Storm goes for another leapfrog, but Rickey catches him and slams him to the mat with a STIFF running powerbomb.] Tim: Right of the bat!! [Upon impact, the 6 other men jump into action. Jin pairs off with Styles, Tatsumi with Spike, and Billy with Thrilla. Tatsumi and Spike fall to the outside, as the other 6 remain in the ring. In stereo, Thrilla spears Billy as Jin drops Styles to the mat with a Michinoku Driver 2.] Jeff: CARNAGE!! [On the outside of the ring, Tatsumi throws a few right hands at Spike, knocking him off balance. Tatsumi goes for the clothesline, Spike counters it with a full nelson. Tatsumi tries to drop to the floor to break the hold, but Spike follows him down, still in the full nelson. He turns Tatsumi over on his stomach and pulls on his back with a full nelson camel clutch. The fans gasp at the hold, as Rickey lifts up Storm in the middle of the ring. He whips him to the turnbuckle and BLASTS him with a big boot.] Tim: This one is getting violent already!! [Rickey rolls to the outside of the ring, and starts digging underneath the apron. He pulls out a couple steel chairs and throws them in the ring. At the same time, Thrilla has lifted up Billy into a fireman's carry. He steadies himself in the center of the ring, and then throws Billy off of him; dropping him to the mat hard with a bareback. Thrilla attempts a pin, but Jin breaks it up.] Jeff: The Thrill Kill!! Tim: How can anyone concentrate on wrestling in a match like this!?! [On the outside of the ring, Tatsumi struggles to fight the hold. Inside the ring, Styles and Thrilla double team Jin as Rickey continues reaching for weapons under the apron. Styles slides one of the chairs to the center of the ring, and they spike piledriver Jin right onto the chair. Thrilla and Styles quickly run to opposite corners and scale up to the top. Rickey comes out with a rig girder, and looks up to see Thrilla about to leap off the turnbuckle. Rickey quickly smacks Thrilla in the back with the girder, as Styles leaps off from the other side of the ring; performing a modified frogsplash and landing right on top of Jin. The ref slides into position.] Tim: INTENSITY SPLASH!! Jeff: It's over!! It's over!! [One... ...Two... ...Th..BILLY BREAKS IT UP!!] Jeff: OH!! [Tatsumi finally gets out of the hold, as Rickey slides into the ring with the girder. He drops it near the corner and then lifts up a steel chair. Billy lifts up Thrilla and Rickey is about to hit him with a sttel chair, when he suddenly gets kicked right in the face by Jonathan Storm. Rickey drops like a sack of potatoes, as Billy drops Thrilla and goes after the Canadian Champ. Billy goes for a right hand, but Storm ducks and punches him in the gut. Billy quickly comes back and rakes the eyes of Storm. A blinded Storm stumbles around the ring. Styles grabs him, but the confused Storm actually lifts Styles up onto his shoulder for a powerslam.] Tim: WAIT!! That's Chris Styles!! [Storm runs a little, and drops Styles down HARD with a modified Michinoku Driver 2.] Jeff: *laughing* Skyrocket Remix on his own Syndicate member!! Tim: Styles is gonna pissed in the morning!! [Rickey kicks Thrilla out of the ring, as Tatsumi and Spike fight near the Cell door. Tatsumi gains control, and begins roundhouse kicking Spike into the Cell door like a punching bag. Tatsumi backs up a little, as Spike leans against the door. Tatsumi runs and goes for a spear, but Spike moves and Tatsumi spears the door right of the hinges.] Tim: OH MY GOD!! Jeff: That is one strong little Japanese... Tim: JEFF!! [Spike stumbles outside of the Cell, as Billy waits for the rising Storm in the ring. Storm, still slightly blinded, walks towards Billy. Billy hits a double leg takedown and signals over to Rickey, who begins climbing the ropes. Billy grabs his legs and turns him over with a Texas Cloverleaf.] Tim: He's got '8 Seconds' locked on!! [Rickey reaches the top turnbuckle, and leaps off. He drops a HUGE legdrop right across the back of Storm's head. Storm instantly grabs his head.] Jeff: OH JESUS!! Tim: There it was... The Double Duece!! [Rickey grabs his tailbone and rolls to the outside, as Billy attempts a pin.] Tim: Could this be it!?! [One... ...Two... ...Thre..STYLES BREAKS IT UP!!] Tim: That was TOO close!! [Spike begins hammering Tatsumi on the outside, adn then throws him into the outside of the Cell wall. Spike runs at Tatsumi, but Tatsumi gets a foot up and kicks him right in the face. Spike drops HARD, and Tatsumi instantly starts scaling the outside wall of the cage. Spike is quick to his feet, and starts going after him. Tatsumi reaches the top and stumbles back towards the center of the roof. The fans are going nuts. As the action in the ring seems to stop.] Tim: Okay, the Tag Titles aren't worth this!! Jeff: Ah, shut up you... [Spike reaches the top and runs at Tatsumi. The fans gasp as Tatsumi amazingly throws him over with a snap hurricanrana. Tatsumi lifts up Spike, and the two lock up, with Tatsumi gaining the advantage. He grabs Spike’s wrists and bends him backwards, touching the top of his head to the Cell roof with a back-arch. Spike muscles out of the painful looking arch, and forces Tatsumi down into a back-arch as well. Tatsumi muscles out of that arch, and the two are back into a lockup. Tatsumi kicks one leg up in the air, knocking away Spike’s arm from his own, and gives Spike a few hard shots to the face. He spins around backwards, holding Spike with a straightjacket lock, and grabs his other arm to complete it. He goes for the suplex, but Spike counters with a headbutt and then a reverse arm drag. Spike rolls up from the arm drag and charges at Tatsumi, who ducks. Spike jumps over him and puts on the brakes. Spike runs back at him, and Tatsumi jumps over him with a leapfrog. Spike stops himself sharply and spins around, catching Tatsumi on his way down form the leapfrog. Tatsumi spins around to meet Spike, and gets a hard jab in the face. Tatsumi reels backwards, but Spike plants another one. He reels again, Spike plants a third. Spike goes to punch him again, stops, flips him off with both fingers, grabs the sides of Tatsumi’s mask, and twists it around his head so it’s facing the wrong direction, and lands a fourth jab! Tatsumi drops to the Cell roof and rolls back near the center, trying to pull his mask back into its proper positioning.] Tim: What'd you think of that, Jeff? Jeff: *laughing hysterically* I... I-uh... Oh, lord... [In the ring, Storm and Rickey are now fighting on the outside; with the other four squaring off in the ring. Jin has control of Thrilla in a corner, and Styles has control of Billy. On top of the cage again, Tatsumi gets up and runs at Spike. Spike launches him up into the air with a spine bomb slam. On the way down, Spike catches him in an x-factor. Upon impact, the Cell roof breaks in two points. Tatsumi AMAZINGLY grabs onto one of the roofing rods, as Spike accidentaly falls all the way down onto the arena floor. Styles and Jin look over at Spike, and Styles get surprised and knocked to the outside.] Jeff: JESUS CHRIST!! ["HO-LY-SHIT, HO-LY-SHIT"] Tim: How did Tatsumi hang on after recieving the Orphan Riot!?! [Styles quickly gets up, and starts fighting with Rickey and Storm. Tatsumi begins swinging from the top of the Cell, as Jin whips Thrilla into a Billy Williams dropkick. The three men on the outside look up towards Tatsumi, who swings and flies off the Cell's rigging with a shooting star press. Tatsumi flies ALL THE WAY down to the arena floor and takes out Styles, Storm, and Rickey Williams.] Jeff: HOLY MOTHERFUCKER ASS SHIT CUNT BATTLEBOTS NINER!! Tim: A Swinging Shooting Star Press form the Cell rigging... How amazing!! ["H-W-F, H-W-F, H-W-F, H-W-F"] Tim: By the way Jeff, did I catch a 'niner' in there? Jeff: I DON'T EVEN KNOW!! [The four men on the outside lay unconcious. In the ring, Jin has locked on a standing head scissors and forces Thrilla's arms around his body. He lifts him up for a cross arms powerbomb and slams him to the mat HARD; releasing him in the process.] Tim: Release Darkside Bomb!! Jeff: That could be it!! [Jin and Billy both look down at Thrilla, and then at the five on the outside. Instantly, Billy and Jin run at each other to try and gain the pin, as they meer over Thrilla's body; their head clunk together and both men drop to the ground. Jin's leg is over Thrilla's chest, and Billy's arm lays over his neck. The ref drops for the pin.] [One... ...Two... ...THREE!!] Tim: They won!! Jeff: Who won!?! Tim: The Warriors and the Wrecking Crew!! Jeff: Well, who gets the shot next week!?! Tim: I guess... both teams do... Jeff: Really!?! [EMT's rush out to the ring, as the Cell slowly begins to raises back up to the celing. The fans are all on their feet and giving a standing ovation to all 8 men.] Tim: What a match! ... We'll have more for you after this, fans... [Commercials] Tim: Alright, lookslike we're ready for our main event... Jeff: And it shou- [“Close the Door” hits the speakers the fans instantly stand up and start to boo making the music rather hard to hear. The music continues to play nonetheless, but after the opening riff, no one comes out. The music carries on for a few more seconds before cutting out as no one is coming. There is a small pause before “Close the Door” starts up again. The song plays for about fifteen seconds, and again, nobody. As the fans begin to cheer as it appears that Phoenix is not coming out, “Underachiever” by Pitchshifter blasts through the arena as several clips of Phoenix from his AIW days are shown on the Extream Screen including several shots of a bloodied Phoenix or his bloody opponent exchanging punches or swinging all sorts of weapons in each other’s general direction. Phoenix then slowly walks through the curtains, mic in hand, and stands at the front of the stage taking in the chorus of boos which has started up again. Unlike normal, Phoenix is wearing his old, black Tajiri style pants with the flames running up to his knees and no shirt. He raises his right arm in the air and then brings the mic down to his mouth.] Phoenix: HWF, wrestlers in the back, fans in the crowd, welcome to a new generation. Welcome to the newest evolution of this once illustrious company. Since the HWF’s rebirth back at the end of 1999, this federation has been one of the premier indy feds this country has ever known. This place started its very own underground hardcore movement and has become famous for it. And as the federation grew into the great haven for hardcore wrestling that it is today. And as the HWF grew, it had its big names. It had men like J. Simon Rykopathe. [Huge pop from the fans.] Phoenix: It had Lance Sterling. [Even bigger pop.] Phoenix: And there was Michael Trey. [Biggest pop yet.] Phoenix: But these days are now behind us. No longer will you people have to look at the card for the next week’s Suicide and worry about seeing Trey or Sterling’s name on the top of the card. No more will all the boys in the back as well as myself have to worry about looking up to these big name stars. No longer will we all be embarrassed to know that our federation, our HWF is being dominated by men like these because tonight, we can put another name on the list of superstars who have fallen from grace. The throne has been overturned, the castle has been ransacked and the royalty are no more. Last week, in a very close and competitive match, all you people saw Jon Storm and I defeat Trey in the middle of that ring, one two three. And where was Sterling for that match? Your guess is as good as mine. Sure he did come out for a second, but that isn’t the same man that has been running the show for the last year now. It is quite obvious that Storm has been able to break him so now, as the X-treme Alliance stands in shambles. So now, the time has come. So now, if everyone here in attendance tonight could please rise and join hands for tonight, we honor a legend. Tonight, we pay our last respects to a true hardcore hero. Boys, if you would, please roll the tape. [On the Extream Screen, a Picture of Trey standing up holding a belt fades in and stays there for a few seconds before fading to black.] Phoenix: Tonight, we honor Michael Trey. [Back on the screen, various highlights from Trey’s career begin to cycle through including Trey hitting the Lights Out Moonsault on Rykopathe at Y2K, Trey winning the world title at King of Violence, and Trey hitting the Moonsault off the top of the cage in the Final Solution match. After about two minutes worth of highlights, a close up of Trey’s face pops up on the screen with “Michael Trey, October 1975 - February 2001” written on the bottom.] Phoenix: Now Mr. Trey was a beloved family man who loved the people around him and he loved his job, and in that order. Michael always was able to leave fans in awe with high-flying moves and hardcore tendencies. And today, we will miss him as he will live on in our hearts. Thank you. [The fans begin to boo at Phoenix’s attempt at a mock eulogy.] Phoenix: What is wrong with you people? Don’t you know the proper way to honor a hero? I mean, tonight, I will be helping all you people out. Tonight will be the night that I take this company back to days when it used top be great. Don’t you people remember when the wrestlers fought for you, the fans instead of for themselves? Remember when the wrestlers just wanted to go out to the ring to have a good match rather than trying to take care of personal vengeances? Well that’s why I’m here. That’s why Bisc Li has chosen me to lead the next generation of stars to the spotlight that we so dearly deserve. I am fighting the just cause for people like Jon Storm, one of the most talented newcomers in a long time. I am fighting this cause for people like Tempest and Chris Davison, the HWF’s second perfect couple behind Bisc and Claire. These are my people and they are why I’m doing this besides giving you people, the fans, the HWF that you want. Trey has been running this company his way for the better part of a year now and look at this sad state we’re in. In a company that is supposed to be about the hardcore revolution, we have too many fallen heroes walking around in the back talking about their past glory days. Storm was nice enough to get rid of Sterling for us, so now, I’m going to take care of Michael Trey in front of all you people. So, for all you people who were fortunate enough to buy tickets to tonight’s show, you are definitely in for a treat as another star is forced to hang it up tonight when I end Trey’s career. I don’t know how he was able to even talk after he lost that oh so close matchup, but tonight, he will lose a lot more. [Phoenix continues talking as he begins to walk down the ringside area.] Phoenix: Tonight, he will lose everything. If he wants to go against doctor’s orders just to get into that hanging pit of hell with me, so be it. His blood will be on his own hands then since it was his call to compete tonight, not mine. I just think it’s funny that his last match will end when he gets burnt and then falls through the fire that has signified his very existence for so long now. So Trey, I’ll understand if you want to take your time on this one, wanting to go out on top and have everything go perfectly for you. So whenever you’re ready, I’ll be down here with the fire, your fire, waiting for you. [Phoenix has made his way over the announce area where he hands the mic to a ringside attendant. He then turns and waits for Trey.] Jeff: Phoenix looks intensly ready for this matchup. But I doubt Trey's cowardly ass will be ready for it. Tim: Shut up, we're talking Trey here. He'll show up. [Phoenix starts to climb the huge ladder up into the scaffold, seemingly 50 foot in the air! Phoenix then hops over to the top of the plywood structure and out of everyone's site. Then the Extream Screan lights up as a top-down (Similar to WWF's Ladder Match View) picture of the enclosed structure is shown. Phoenix drops down on his ass like Raven and takes a seat with his back leaning up against the four walls. HWF crew scamper around to set up tables around the ground ready as a crash site for the flying victim.] Jeff: Now we await Trey. [Yawns] [Now the Extream Screen switches to black then white then black again....and you see backstage Tempest and Chris Davison, either side of Michael Trey. The crowd is going wild, but Phoenix cannot tell what it's for. Trey is sporting a huge f'n neckbrace, which looks quite horrid - as blood is slowly seeping through, and has an arm around Chris and Tempest for support. He's being taken to ringside as...."The UNKLE" remix of The World is Not Enough Hits the speakers, as the Extream Screen switches to Phoenix who is up on his feet, ready for what may come. Trey gets helped down to rindside by Tempest and Davison...who don't look very happy at Michael but help him none-theless. Trey then grabs the ladder, and whips off the neckbrace - trying to show NO signs of fear. Trey then gets to the top, and bows his head, before tumbling over the top of the plywood structure into the ring with Phoenix.] TIm: IT'S ON!
Flames of Phoenix Match Jeff: NOOOO, why'd Trey have to arrive? Why god WHY?! [Tempest and Davison pull the ladder off the huge structure as all in unicon the TOP of the Plywood explodes in flames and so does all the tables on the ground] Tim: I don't see much scope for an exciting match here folks, BUT, I know that it's all there jsut for ONE move only. The Move that sends .... hopefully Phoenix .... to the ground and through the tables below. [Phoenix instantly runs at Trey, and unlike Trey of old - Michael isn't able to defend, Phoenix tackles Trey RIGHT into the plywood, Trey's hair JUST under the flames which are eating away at the top of the surroundings. The top view of the action doesn't show the grimace on Trey's face. But it does show the impact of the move into the wood. Phoenix then grabs Trey and whips him HARD across the scaffold into the other side of the plywood. As Trey crunches in and topples to his feet, the crowd oooh and almost seem pained at Trey's expence. They start chearing out for "Mich-ael Trey - Mich-ael Trey". Phoenix then walks over to Trey, and picks Trey up....wrapping him up in a side-russian legsweep before swepping Trey back-wards ala Raven into the plywood behind him.] Jeff: DAMN, Phoenix wants to KILL Trey tonight! GO Phoenix GO! Tim: If you want Phoenix to win so bad, you better shut up or else you might give Jeff's Disease to him. Jeff: YOU BASTARD! I didn't give shit to either Sterling or Silky. [Phoenix then looks all around as the Flames start to make a definate effect on the top of the wood, the spectacle and heat is amazing. The crowd is basically awe-struck by looking up high into the air at four faces of plywood and a flaming top....complete with Flaming Crash Zone. Most can't take their eyes away from the Extream Screen though - as that's where all the footage is shown for them. Phoenix reaches down to grab Trey but is the recipient of a nasty low blow....sending Phoenix down onto one knee. Trey manages to get up - still in upmost agony - and double underhooks phoenix before Flash of Paining him onto the mat out of nowhere, both men lying motionless on the mat as the flames burn away.] Tim: FLASH OF PAIN! FLASH OF PAIN! This has given Trey some time to rest up as the flames burn down. Jeff: Otherwise it's just useless. [Phoenix is up to his feet first though, and instantly stomps away at Trey. He then picks Trey up from a gut-wrench into a Powerbomb then runs at the wall - Powerbombing Trey into the wall just like the Turnbuckle Powerbomb in No Mercy. This causes some of the top of the wall to give - crashing to the flaming tables below as the crowd ooooh as they know what MIGHT happen to someone soon. Phoenix then picks up his victim....and drags him to the opposite side. He then manages to put Trey up onto his shoulder - and aims for the broken hole in the wall. He runs at the wall and tries to javelin throw Michael through the hole - ending the match quickly - but Trey slides off to the back of Phoenix, and then just pushes Phoenix face first into the wall.] Tim: No matter how hardcore Phoenix is - Trey's ALWAYS going to be the smarter man. Jeff: They why isn't Trey an ally of Mr Bisc Li, then huh?! [Phoenix bounces off and turns around - as Michael delivers his "Malicious Intent" onto Phoenix causing Phoenix's head to be sandwhiched between boot and wood.] Tim: OH NO! That's about all Trey has in him, he's back down to the ground again! [He's right, as Trey's down on the ground - but so is Phoenix. Back on the ground Tempest and Davison remain - still - from the start - looking around just incase anything dodgy might be going on. Tempest is fixed on the screen currently and looks a bit sad for Trey's sake as he looks in a great deal of agony. Phoenix continues rolling around holding his neck. Phoenix and Trey both stand at the same time, Trey looking worse off - still as Phoenix swings a big right hand. Trey blocks it and is caught up in an adrenaline boost. Trey's going hammers on Phoenix, before grabbing his head and sending him right across the scaffold into the wall in a No Mercy Cage Match -esque "Head to the Cage" type move. BUT, again, Trey is back to the ground.....every move he does takes as much out of him as it does his opponent.] Jeff: Mah god this is funny. Even when Trey mounts some offence he can't even fight back. [Davison flinches as Trey collapses on the ground, and he hugs Tempest as she even looks worried for Trey. Trey then grits his teeth, and bares the pain enough to be able to put Phoenix in a powerbomb position. Trey then picks Phoenix right up to the height of the powebomb, but his strength gives away - but maybe as a good thing - as Trey sends Phoenix face-first over his shoulders INTO THE FLAMING wall. As Phoenix hits the wall gives way, luckily for Phoenix however - he bounces off it and back to the ring. But half of that side of the wall tumbles to the ground, smashing a table in half.] Tim: Ouch, imagine - in not too long that's going to be a body. [As the time ticks down the wall is getting weaker and more burnt - the flames are lowering as most of the plywood now is a weak shade of charred blackness. Phoenix's face is also a slight tingy black color from eating flames. He doesn't seem too deturred by the effects however, and is quickly back to his feet. He stumbles around and accidently leans back against the burning wall...a "shhhhh" noise is heard as Phoenix stumbles forward - his now new attired bare upper body is charred black on the back as Phoenix sticks his chest out and tries to touch his elbows behind his back (the motion of showing pain when something hurts your back) and grimaces dropping to both knees - before rolling over and onto his back to put out the flames.] Jeff: OOOOOh, I honestly think I can smell the hideous smell of burnt human flesh....ewwwness. Tim: But you love the violence!? Jeff: Yes I do. But I still don't like the smell of burning flesh. [As Phoenix rolls backwards and gets back up on his feet, Trey is now up too - still hurting like a bitch - and walks over to Phoenix. As Trey seems like he's about to end the match, and push Phoeix over the edge - Phoenix slides over and DROP TOE HOLDS Trey RIGHT INTO THE BURNING WALL. This causes the WHOLE SIDE of the wall to collapse and crash to the floor below. Missing all the tables, and nearly burning all our fans at ringside. Trey doesn't even flinch or kick around in pain, he just lye's face down - motionless as Tempest and Davison and ALL THE CROWD look genuinly sickeneded by Phoenix's display. Phoenix laughs at the crowd like Benoit, and manages to do a Justin Credible esque crotch POINT. He then hops over to the safe side of Trey, and simply starts to Push Trey off the scaffold like he's a bit of shit. No fancy ending, just simple pushes him off the scaffold like he doesn't belong.] Jeff: THIS KID IS AWESOME! GO PHOENIX GO! [Phoenix then pushes Trey RIGHT OFF THE EDGE - or so he thinks as Trey grabs on by his fingers.....just - the pain is in his eye. Phoenix doesn't realise this untill he realises the crowd is cheering and NOT booing. So he turns BACK around to look over the edge at Trey. In a scene that should be in the movies. Phoenix reaches down and grabs Trey by the hair. Trey looks up at Phoenix with the hottest hate in his eyes, and removes his left hand from the scaffold to swing at Phoenix - but Phoenix then drops HARD down on his knee - landing on Trey's supporting hand and simultaneously letting go of Trey's hair...........] Tim: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo [.....Trey falls backwards as Phoenix laughs at his actions....as Trey falls and luckily floats over onto his back as the crowd gasp and Tim's "Noooo" is overshadowed by the HUGE Crash of Trey plummeting through flaming Table. The Bell is instantly rung...as Tempest and Davison are quickly to the scene, to check on Michael.] Jeff: YES YES YES YES YES! Tim: NO NO NO NO NO! Jeff: TREY IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE FUTURE OF THE HWF! [You can hear Davison and Tempest PLEADING for EMT's to get their assess down here quickly. But instead - from the back runs not an EMT but Claire Matthews. She looks quite pissed off, and is wielding a chair. She runs down to where Tempest and Davison is and she CRACKS Tempest across the back with the chair - the recoil making Claire drop it. It doesn't really affect Tempest much, only sending her down to a knee as Claire a pretty weak person. Davison SNAPS around and looks at Claire - the look turning Claire a light shade of white. Davison grabs Claire by both shoulders and shakes her around in a "What the fuck was that for?" type motion.] Jeff: SHIT! Claire must REALLY hate Tempest! Well, I do too - but Claire has a decent reason..... Tim: Like WHAT reason? Jeff: Well, Tempest didn't go over too well when she met Claire at the Salon. [Suddenly - "Only When I'm Drunk" by Crazy Town hits the speakers...as Bisc Li runs from the back] Jeff: BISC IS HERE! Tim: And thank GOD this is the end of the show... [Before anything really happens, Suicide comes to a close. Fade to black.]
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