Tim: Welcome everyone to Saturday Suicide! I'm Tim Miller...

Jeff: And I'm Jeff "I wish I had something funny to put here like Gertner" Robinson!

Tim: *laughs* Jeff, you're definitely one of a kind... Tonight, we are going to see "The Icon" J. Simon Rykopathe defend the Hardcore title against newcomer, but one half of the tag team champions, Kris "The Executioner" Taylor in a Singapore cane match!

Jeff: Yeah and Rykopathe is steamed after having the Hardcore title belt STOLEN from him just moments after he won it as Yes 2 Karnage a bit more than a week ago.

Tim: You're right about that... Well, the man who will meet the actual Hardcore Champion, Kris Taylor, is coming out here in a second.

{The fans become quiet as the lights dim. Green fireworks erupt from the entrance ramp as "Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns n' Roses begins playing on the speakers. The fans cheer as Kris Taylor steps out in the now-green lights, and walks to the ring. As the lights come back up to normal, you can see Taylor is dressed in his wrestling attire. He's wearing a pair of aviator sunglasses, black tights with green trim, a green tank-top, and of course his
trenchcoat. You also see for the first time that he's wearing a heavy knee brace on his right knee. He smiles, and pushes his title belt higher over his shoulder as he pulls out a mike from a pocket in his coat.}

Taylor: "Seems to me some sumbitch is getting executed tonight!"

{The fans cheer. Taylor smiles as he looks out at them.}

Taylor: "Now, then, since the Icon seems so desperately to WANT an ass-kicking tonight, I'm more than happy to give him one. You see, there's been a lot of things going through my head lately, and the most pressing right now is the words of Rykopathe. Yeah, you're right... we DID screw you over, Icon... and you know what, we kinda enjoyed it. You probably feel angry... well, get over it, 'cause after tonight, you'll need to concentrate
on learning how to walk all over again after I'm through with you."

{The fans cheer once more, and Taylor removes his sunglasses, smirking slightly.}

Taylor: "And not that I don't trust you or anything, Ike, but I'll be bringing some backup to the ring. Don't bother Malice, and I'm sure he won't hurt you... much. Now, one last thing before I go; all those guys in the tag match tonight... heh, well, keep your heads up, because we'll be keeping an eye on things, if you know what I mean. Icon, you better start lacing up your boots, bro, 'cause you know what's in store for you."

{Taylor's music plays again as he exits the ring and walks into the backstage
area.}

**Hardcore Title; Singapore Cane Match**

"The Icon" J. Simon Rykopathe vs. Kris "The Executioner" Taylor

{"Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns n' Roses hits the speakers, and Kris Taylor immediately emerges before the fireworks go off. He takes a few seconds to tighten his knee brace. During this time, Malice emerges, and the two of them walk to the ring together. Malice stays on the outside, as Taylor gets in and removes his trenchcoat and aviator sunglasses.}

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is a Singapore Cane Match! *cheers* This match is also for the Hardcore Title!! *more cheers* Introducing first, the challenger. Weighing in at 243 pounds, Kris "The Executioner" Taylor!!!

(The Icon walks out in his usual attire. He's pushing a cart with him filled with weapons. Black by Sevendust is blasting through the arena. The Icon gets in the small ring, and sits on the opposite turnbuckle. Some fans cheer "Icon...Icon..." as others are booing him.)

Howard: And his opponent, the reigning Hardcore Wrestling Federation Hardcore Champion... "The Icon" J. Simon Rykopathe!!!

(The two circle around, but are interrupted by Eminem's "Bad Influence." The crowd looks to see Chaz Manson, walking out with two Singapore canes in hand. Chaz makes his way near the ring, throwing one cane through the air, it's caught by "The Icon." Chaz throws the second to Taylor who catches it, also. Chaz signals to ring the bell as he turns and walks to the back.)

Tim: So, this match is underway!

Jeff: You can definitely notice the absence of the hardcore title. It is still in the hands of the Phreakshow, who stole it at Y2K...

Tim: Yes, but it is only fueling Rykopathe more.

(The two begin to circle around each other, examining the canes at the same time. "The Icon" quickly stops the circle and swings for the head of Taylor. Kris ducks quickly and nails Rykopathe in the back of the knee with the cane. Rykopathe grimaces in pain as Taylor nails him once more in the leg. Kris drops the cane and takes "The Icon" by the arm. Kris pulls Icon near and knocks the hell out of him with a monstrous short-arm clothesline.)

Jeff: "The Executioner" almost decapitated the Hardcore Champion with that clothesline!

(The crowd cheers for the move, but Taylor continues the showcase of moves. Kris brings Icon to his feet, backing him into the ropes. Kris goes for the whip, reversed by the Icon. Kris bounces into the ropes as Icon ducks. Taylor jumps over with a sunset flip, trying to take down the Icon. Rykopathe struggles to stay up, but reaches for one of the canes. Kris stares directly at Rykopathe as the Icon swings with all his might at the head of Taylor. Kris moves, but still, the Icon gets out of the hold. Taylor gets to-and remains-on one knee, just before being whacked with the cane shot from the Icon.)

Tim: Kris Taylor was just caned all to hell!

Jeff: You said it!

(Taylor lies on the mat, resting from the blow. The Icon plays to the crowd for a short moment, before dropping the cane and going after Kris. He drags Kris to his feet and stomps on the inner knee of the Executioner two or three times. Icon grabs Kris's arm, going for the whip. Kris reverses the whip, but the Icon twists the arm around and Kris turns right into a savate kick to the side of the head. The sound of his boot against Taylor's head echoes through the arena, as Taylor thuds against the mat. The crowd starts an "Icon... Icon" chant as Rykopathe drags Kris near the corner. The Icon steps through the ropes and ascends the ropes. He reaches the top, motioning for a louder chant. The crowd responds with a louder chant, as the Icon dives off the top in a swan dive style senton bomb that connects with Kris Taylor! The crowd goes nuts switching the chant to an "HWF...HWF" chant.)

Jeff: Man, "The Icon" has no limits!

Tim: He's definitely becomes one of the most suicidal wrestlers currently working in the HWF. Ever since his first match when he dove off a ladder from the upperdeck of an arena, we knew he would push himself to the edge.

(The bump took a lot out of Rykopathe, as he lies near Taylor regaining his composure. The crowd starts to clap, not really knowing who they're cheering for. Either way, it seems to revive both men, as they begin to get back to their feet. Both calmly pick up their own Singapore cane, with their backs to each other. Each turns around and swings, as they both connect. The two men fall in opposite directions, dropping to the mat.)

Tim: My God! They both went for the cane shot and they're out cold on the mat!

Jeff: Seems as though they both were trying to 'up' the other, but they did it at the same time and well... you see the result.

Tim: Yeah, we do. These guys still haven't gotten up.

(A moment passes as the crowd tries to get one of them moving. Finally, Kris Taylor begins to get up, as does Rykopathe. It becomes apparent that Kris Taylor has been busted open from the cane shot, as he turns to continue the battle.)

Jeff: Man, Taylor is really busted.

(Taylor charges at Icon, as Icon takes him down with a football tackle. Icon hammers on Taylor's head with right hands, before finally letting up and getting off Taylor. The Icon walks over to one of the canes, picking it up. The Icon runs at Taylor, putting the cane underneath his leg, and hits a leg drop right across the throat of Taylor! Kris Taylor squirms in pain, trying to breathe. Rykopathe gets to his feet, throwing the cane aside. The Icon gets out the ring, close the announcers.)

Tim: What's he looking for?

(The Icon has thrown the ring apron up, searching under the ring. He begins to pull on something, before long, you can tell it's a ladder! The crowd gets behind the Icon as he puts the ladder into the ring and follows after. Rykopathe leans the ladder into the corner, then walks over towards Taylor. Icon grabs a fist full of hair, dragging the Executioner to his feet. The Icon whips Taylor towards the ladder, but Kris uses all his might to reverse it! Icon goes smashing into the ladder, as he slowly slides to the mat. Taylor slowly moves over to the Icon, laying in kicks to the chest. He reaches down, taking Icon up to his feet. Taylor applies a standing headlock, going for a piledriver. Icon switches all of his body weight, making it nearly impossible for Kris to get him up. Icon quickly drops down and nails a low blow, before Kris knew what was happening.)

Jeff: Low blow! The Icon went downstairs for that one...

(The Icon gets up, as the Executioner is keeled over on the mat. The Icon quickly goes to the corner, picking up the ladder. He moves it near Kris, then sets it up. Rykopathe then goes across the ring, stepping out on to the ring apron.)

Tim: What is he doing?

(Kris Taylor slowly gets to his feet. The Icon uses the ropes to springboard towards the ladder, dropkicking it right into the face of Kris Taylor!! The crowd goes nuts as the Icon jumps on top of the ladder, which is on top of Kris Taylor. With no way to get out, the referee makes the count.)

1...2...3!

Tim: The Icon retains the Hardcore title!

(The Icon gets up from the mess, as the ref goes to raise his hand. Icon rips his arm away, still pissed that he doesn't get the actual belt. "Black" by Sevendust plays as the Icon walks to the back.)

Jeff: Jeesh, well... I guess we're gonna have a interview segment from newcomer, Marek "DRE" de Kere...

(The opening tones to "Still Dre" ring through the PA system at the arena. Marek de Kere, Da Reel Extreem, struts out into the entrance area and when the bass beats kick in he screams "D.... R.... E...." and motions by waving his arm three times, each time setting of more pyrotechnics. He continues his confident strut to the ring while the fans shout names and boo at him. Marek grabs a mic from the ring announcer and motions for his music to be cut. He begins to speak.)

DRE: Listen, I don't have any love for any of these hardcore pretenders back
here. I'm still DRE and I'm still the most hardcore man alive. I'll break
your neck and damn near drop your face in your lap, ya try to be the Ace but
the KING is back! And that is me, Marek de Kere, Da Reel Extreem. ICON, I'm
getting the damn Hardcore belt, one way or another. And Phreakshow, you
suck. Period.

(Marek leaves the ring to boos as the show goes to commercial.)

**Tag Team Battle Royal; Number 1Contendership**

Storm Warning {Maxx Powers, Michael Trey} vs. School House Rocks {Marcus Shields, Biff Marx} vs. Breakage {Sticks, Stones}

Howard: Chattanooga, Tennessee... This is the MAIN EVENT!! *cheers* This is a Tag Team Battle Royal for the Number one contendership to the HWF Tag Team titles!! *more cheers*

(A hush falls over the crowd as a remix "Welcome to the Jungle" and "The World is not Enough" starts to play over the speakers. The arena lights focus on the aisle, and neon colored laser lights pulsate throughout the building. Just as the music really kicks in, fireworks shoot off from the ramp leading to the ring, and the crowd cheers as Maxx Powers and Michael Trey walk out from the curtains. Powers climbs the steps leading to the ring while Trey climbs in from the side.)

Howard: Introducing first... the former Tag Team champions: The World Heavyweight Champion, Michael Trey and Maxx Powers... STORM WARNING!!!

(The pyros and lights start to go off, as "New School" Biff Marx walks out to the ring with a chair in hand. He stands at the top of the rampway, and holds the chair up in the air. Behind him appears "Old School" Marcus Shields in his basic wrestling attire. Shields takes no time getting to the ring, as Biff stands still at the entrance, watching the pyros. Then the pyros stop, as he grabs hold of the chair. Then he hits himself in the chair numerous times while simultaneously fire shoots up on both of his sides. He smiles at the
camera, and walks to the ring.)

Howard: Introducing the second team... "New School" Biff Marx and "Old School" Marcus Shields... they are SCHOOL HOUSE ROCKS!!!

(The instrumental version of "Break on through (to the other side)" by the Doors hits the speakers. Like an amusement park mirror, the strength and speed of Sticks and Stones, Breakage, step through the curtains and walk to the ring, dripping in grease.)

Howard: And the final team... Sticks and Stones... BREAKAGE!!!

(As Breakage hits the ring, the action has already started. Marcus Shields and Maxx Powers have went after each other, as have Biff Marx and Michael Trey. Sticks joins the melee with Trey and Marx as Stones assists Marcus Shields in the beating of Maxx Powers. Shields angrily tackles Stones, evidently not liking the double team. Shields, incredibly, nails Stones with open hands and not closed fists. Sticks rushes to the rescue, pounding on the back of Shields. Shields seems not to feel it, as he rises into the face of Sticks. Shields grabs Sticks by the neck and takes him over with a snap mare. Maxx Powers then nails Marcus with a clothesline as he begins to get up. Meanwhile, Michael Trey and Biff Marx have brawled across the ring, as Biff is attempting to get Michael Trey over the top rope. Maxx sees this and rushes to the rescue, locking on a waist lock. Maxx takes the big man over with a modified German suplex, allowing Trey to rest comfortably. Unfortunately for Trey, Stones appears from the side with a fury of lefts and rights.)

Jeff: Jeez... I haven't been this confused since I bought the first WCW World War 3 pay-per-view... I really regret wasting that thirty bucks.

Tim: Well, at least we don't have three pictures within a picture the size of post-it notes.

Jeff: You have a point...

(At about this time, all hell breaks loose and mayhem runs wild. All six men begin to brawl, of course, each using their special technique. Somewhere in the melee, Maxx Powers is dropped to the outside from a double back body drop via Stones and Biff Marx.)

Tim: Maxx Powers is out! Storm Warning has been eliminated!!!

(Referees instruct Michael Trey to leave the ring, but no avail. Trey continues to brawl, as a commotion starts in the crowd. Fans point to certain areas of the arena, until a camera finally catches a glimpse of "The Icon" J. Simon Rykopathe, wielding a Singapore cane, coming through the crowd.)

Jeff: The Icon is coming to the ring!!

(Rykopathe hops over the rail and into the ring before the referees have a chance to make a brigade. Rykopathe winds up and nails Michael Trey with the Singapore cane from behind, knocking Trey completely out!! The crowd begins to boo, as Trey has become quite popular. The referees reluctantly remove the World champion, as they help he and his partner to the back. Meanwhile, Rykopathe continues his spree. He takes out Sticks and Stones, while Biff Marx and Marcus Shields stand and watch. Biff quickly takes Sticks and tosses him over the top, then the same to Stones. Marcus Shields argues with Rykopathe and Marx, not wanting to win that way.)

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners and NEW number one contenders... SCHOOL HOUSE ROCKS!!!

Tim: So, Rykopathe just got School House Rocks a win!

Jeff: Yeah, plus a title shot at Holiday Hangover 2!

(The camera zooms in on the scene in the ring, picking up the conversation.)

Marcus: What the hell is going on here? Icon, why did you help us win this match? We had it going perfectly fine until you showed up.

The Icon: I saw an opportunity, and I took it. It had nothing to do with you. Well, yeah it did. You help me out. I help you out.

Biff: Icon is our new friend around here, Marcus. See, not everybody hates us. Icon knows that we've potential, and I think he could help us out.

The Icon: Yeah, I could. And knowing that you guys won't stab me in the back, I'm glad to have you by my side. It's obvious that I need backup around here, seeing that people keep screwing me over. But now, it's my turn to screw them over just like I did to Malice last week, and just like I did I did to Trey tonight.

Marcus: I don't like this one bit. Biff, we don't need help. We can do this on our own. But if you think it'll help then go with it. But let's just fight fairly next time, ok?

Biff: Yeah, sure. (laughs under his breath)

(Biff and Icon walk off together, as Marcus follows with a confused look on
his face)

Tim: It seems Marcus Shields is very upset!

Jeff: Yeah! Does this mean Rykopathe has joined forces with the new number one contenders?!

Tim: It sure looks that way! Fans, we're out of time. We'll see you next week!

(The scene fades to a black background.)